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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professoris teaching a class on economics. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

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10 exemples soumis par des utilisateurs disponibles

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Aperçu de la Tâche

Professor

We have recently read in our textbook that local or regional governments often need to reduce the amount of money budgeted in some areas in response to economic shortfalls.For instance.a city council may make the difficult decision to spendless on a certain public service for its residents. In your view,in what one or two areas should local or regional governments reduce spending when budget cuts are necessary? Why?

Student A

My city has a lot of parks that require a lot of upkeep. if there's a need to reduce expenses, the city could make changes to the parks that make them less expensive to maintain. For example, grass lawns, which need to be cut weekly, could be replaced with other plant species that do not need to be cut frequently.

Student B

Last time l went to City Hall to take care of some business, I saw a lot of employees standing around and doing nothing.I think the local government may be employing too many workersIt was iust an impression lhad,but l wonder if this is something that should be reviewed.

Exemples d'Utilisateurs et Résultats d'Évaluation

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1

Exemple d'Utilisateur #1

While the art facilities and urban art institutions in cities have their merits such as the enhancement of the public's aesthetic standard, I strongly...

Score
26

Exemple d'Utilisateur

While the art facilities and urban art institutions in cities have their merits such as the enhancement of the public's aesthetic standard, I strongly align with the perspective that reducing the budgets on art sector is a more viable strategy, particularly for museums and theatres. In my opinion, the economic imperative outweighs the art appreciation in today's rapidly developing society. The reason for reducing the funding of art sector is that the arts are not seen as immediately critical for survival and daily living. Essential services such as healthcare, education, reacreation, entertainment facilities, and the public transportation are affecting citizens' well-being and safety. These services are fundamental functions in a society. In contrast, in the context of economic shortfalls, the art facilities cannot significantly promote economic growth or provide numerous employment positions. Furthermore, the art facilities also require government funding for maintenance and repairs. In light of these reasons, reducing the budget in the art sector is an appropriate approach for local government.

Résultat de l'Évaluation

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在回答问题时,表达了明确的观点,并提供了合理的论据。但是,文章可以在以下方面进行改进:首先,在讨论中提到的学生A和学生B的观点可以与自己的观点进行更好地对比和联系;其次,可以通过举例子或详细说明来进一步支持自己的观点。

示例1(改进后):与学生A关于公园维护费用的看法相比,我认为削减艺术领域预算更为可行,因为艺术设施对日常生活并非至关重要。

示例2(改进后):例如,政府可以通过减少对某些博物馆和剧院的资助来节省开支,同时鼓励私人企业或社区参与艺术项目的发展。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章具有清晰的结构,包括引言、正文和结论。然而,在组织上还有待改进。建议在段落中使用更明确的过渡词汇来连接不同观点,以便让读者更容易理解。

示例1(改进后):首先,艺术设施在经济紧缩时期并不能显著促进经济增长或提供大量就业岗位。其次,艺术设施还需要政府资金进行维护和修缮。

示例2(改进后):综上所述,考虑到这些原因,在面临预算削减时,地方政府应该考虑减少对艺术领域的投入。

5. 语法批改

While the art facilities and urban art institutions in cities have their meritsmerits, such as the enhancement of the public's aesthetic standard, I strongly align with the perspective that reducing the budgets on art sector is a more viable strategy, particularly for museums and theatres.theaters. In my opinion, the economic imperative outweighs the art appreciation in today's rapidly developing society. The reason for reducing the funding of art sector is that the arts are not seen as immediately critical for survival and daily living. Essential services such as healthcare, education, reacreation,recreation, entertainment facilities, and the public transportation are affecting citizens' well-being and safety. These services are fundamental functions in a society. In contrast, in the context of economic shortfalls, the art facilities cannot significantly promote economic growth or provide numerous employment positions.opportunities. Furthermore, the art facilities also require government funding for maintenance and repairs. In light of these reasons, reducing the budget in the art sector is an appropriate approach for local government.

Title: 6 文章修订

While art facilities and urban institutions undoubtedly contribute to the enrichment of a city's cultural landscape, I believe that during times of economic hardship, it is justifiable for local or regional governments to reduce spending on the arts sector, particularly in areas such as museums and theaters. In my view, the pressing economic needs of a rapidly developing society should take precedence over art appreciation.

One reason for cutting funding in the arts sector is that it does not directly impact citizens' survival or daily living. Essential services like healthcare, education, recreation, entertainment facilities, and public transportation have a more immediate effect on people's well-being and safety. These services are fundamental to the functioning of society. Conversely, during periods of economic downturns, art facilities may not significantly contribute to economic growth or provide substantial employment opportunities. Additionally, maintaining and repairing these facilities can be costly and require further government funding.

Given these considerations, I argue that reducing budgets in the arts sector is a pragmatic approach for local governments when faced with financial constraints. (177 words)

Title: 7 文章批改

While the art facilities and urban art institutions in cities have their merits merits, such as the enhancement of the public's aesthetic standard, standard (revised for clarity), I strongly align with the perspective that reducing the budgets on art sector is a more viable strategy, particularly for museums and theatres. In my opinion, the economic imperative outweighs the art appreciation in today's rapidly developing society. society (revised for natural tone).

The reason for reducing the funding of art sector is that the arts are not seen as immediately critical for survival and daily living. living (revised for clarity). Essential services such as healthcare, education, reacreation, reacreation (corrected spelling: recreation), entertainment facilities, and the public transportation are affecting citizens' well-being and safety. These services are fundamental functions in a society. In contrast, in the context of economic shortfalls, the art facilities cannot significantly promote economic growth or provide numerous employment positions. positions (revised for clarity). Furthermore, the art facilities also require government funding for maintenance and repairs.

In light of these reasons, reducing the budget in the art sector is an appropriate approach for local government.government (revised to maintain consistency with previous sentence).

Title: 8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Economic hardship
   - Justifiable reduction in arts spending
   - Priority on pressing needs

2. Arts Sector Funding
   - No direct impact on daily living
   - Essential services prioritized

3. Economic Downturns
   - Limited contribution to growth
   - Limited employment opportunities

4. Maintenance Costs
   - High expenses for facilities upkeep

5. Pragmatic Approach
   - Reducing budgets in arts sector
   - Local governments' financial constraints

6. Conclusion
   - Balancing economic needs and art appreciation

Title: 9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
enrichment/ɪnˈrɪʧmənt/nounthe act of improving the quality or value of something丰富Art facilities contribute to the enrichment of a city's cultural landscape.
justifiable/ˈʤʌstəˌfaɪəbəl/adjectiveable to be shown to be right or reasonable可辩解的It is justifiable for governments to reduce spending on the arts sector during economic hardship.
precedence/ˈprɛsɪdəns/nounthe condition of being more important than something else优先顺序The pressing economic needs should take precedence over art appreciation.
essential/ɪˈsɛnʃəl/adjectiveabsolutely necessary; extremely important必要的Essential services like healthcare and education have a more immediate effect on people's well-being.
downturn/ˈdaʊnˌtɜrn/nouna decline in economic, business, or other activity衰退During periods of economic downturns, art facilities may not significantly contribute to growth.
pragmatic/prægˈmætɪk/adjectivedealing with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations务实的Reducing budgets in the arts sector is a pragmatic approach for local governments.
constraint/kənˈstreɪnt/nouna limitation or restriction约束Local governments face financial constraints when deciding on budget allocations.
maintenance/ˈmeɪntənəns/nounthe process of preserving or keeping something in good condition维护Maintaining and repairing art facilities can be costly and require further government funding.
appreciation/əˌpriʃiˈeɪʃən/nounrecognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something欣赏Balancing economic needs and art appreciation is essential for a well-rounded society.
2

Exemple d'Utilisateur #2

While the factories in the urban city have their merits such as the enhancement of economic consumption, I strongly align with the perspective that re...

Score
22

Exemple d'Utilisateur

While the factories in the urban city have their merits such as the enhancement of economic consumption, I strongly align with the perspective that reducing the budgets on factories, particularly industrial factories. In my opinion, the environment outweighs the economical effect in today's society. Due to excessive carbon dioxide emissions, numerous urban residents are suffering from health issues such as asthma. Furthermore, the rise of sea level is threatening the humanity habitats. Under these situations, the earth is facing a series of problems, creating a serve atmosphere. The factories produce so many gas oxide emissions which is harmful to residents. Therefore, the local governments should implement a policy to control the budget of industrial factories. Ultimately, the government encourage the protection of environment.

Résultat de l'Évaluation

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 3.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

22. 3 任务完成度

在这篇文章中,你提到了减少工厂预算的观点,但没有明确回答教授的问题。为了更好地完成任务,请确保仔细阅读并回答问题。此外,尝试使用更多具体的例子来支持你的观点。

示例1(改进前):Due to excessive carbon dioxide emissions, numerous urban residents are suffering from health issues such as asthma. 示例1(改进后):For example, reducing spending on factories that emit excessive carbon dioxide can help decrease the number of urban residents suffering from health issues such as asthma.

示例2(改进前):The factories produce so many gas oxide emissions which is harmful to residents. 示例2(改进后):One specific area where local governments could reduce spending is on subsidies for factories that produce high levels of gas oxide emissions, which are harmful to residents.

4. 文章结构与组织

在文章结构方面,可以考虑增加一个引言来简要介绍你将讨论的主题。此外,在正文段落中,请确保每个段落都集中讨论一个特定的观点,并提供支持细节。最后,在结论部分总结你的主要观点。

建议1(简体中文):在文章开头添加一个引言,简要介绍你将讨论的主题。 示例1(改进前):While the factories in the urban city have their merits such as the enhancement of economic consumption, I strongly align with the perspective that reducing the budgets on factories, particularly industrial factories. 示例1(改进后):In response to the professor's question about areas where local governments should reduce spending, I believe that reducing budgets on factories, particularly industrial ones, is a viable option.

建议2(简体中文):在正文段落中,确保每个段落都集中讨论一个特定的观点,并提供支持细节。 示例2(改进前):Due to excessive carbon dioxide emissions, numerous urban residents are suffering from health issues such as asthma. 示例2(改进后):One reason for reducing spending on factories is their excessive carbon dioxide emissions. These emissions lead to numerous health issues for urban residents, such as asthma. By cutting budgets in this area, local governments can help improve public health.

5. 语法批改

While the factories in the urban city have their meritsmerits, such as the enhancement of economic consumption, I strongly align with the perspective that reducing the budgets on factories, particularly industrial factories.factories, is preferable. In my opinion, the environment outweighs the economicaleconomic effect in today's society. Due to excessive carbon dioxide emissions, numerous urban residents are suffering from health issues such as asthma. Furthermore, the rise ofin sea level is threatening the humanitylevels threatens human habitats. Under these situations,circumstances, the earth is facing a series of problems, creating a servesevere atmosphere. The factories produce so many gas oxide emissionsemissions, which isare harmful to residents. Therefore, the local governments should implement a policypolicies to control the budgetbudgets of industrial factories. Ultimately, the government encourageencourages the protection of environment.

Title: 6 文章修订

In the face of economic shortfalls, it is crucial for local and regional governments to make strategic decisions regarding budget cuts. One area where spending could be reduced is in the operation of industrial factories, particularly those that contribute significantly to environmental degradation. In my view, prioritizing environmental protection should take precedence over the economic benefits these factories may provide.

Industrial factories are notorious for emitting excessive amounts of carbon dioxide and other harmful gases, which not only exacerbate health issues such as asthma but also contribute to rising sea levels and habitat destruction. Consequently, our planet faces a myriad of challenges that demand immediate attention. By controlling the budgets allocated to these polluting industries, local governments can take a proactive stance in mitigating their detrimental impact on both human health and the environment.

In conclusion, it is imperative that governments prioritize environmental preservation by reducing funding for environmentally harmful industries. This approach not only addresses pressing ecological concerns but also fosters a more sustainable future for all inhabitants of our planet. (175 words)

Revised essay: Title: 7 文章批改

While the factories in the urban city have their merits merits, such as the enhancement of economic consumption, consumption (rephrased for clarity), I strongly align with the perspective that reducing the budgets on factories, particularly industrial factories. factories (removed unnecessary repetition), is necessary. In my opinion, the environment outweighs the economical effect (changed to "economic impact" for better word choice) in today's society.

Due to excessive carbon dioxide emissions, numerous urban residents are suffering from health issues such as asthma. Furthermore, the rise of sea level is threatening the humanity habitats. human habitats (changed "humanity habitats" to "human habitats" for better word choice). Under these situations, circumstances (changed "situations" to "circumstances" for better word choice), the earth is facing a series of problems, creating a serve atmosphere. severe atmosphere (changed "serve" to "severe" for correct spelling). The factories produce so many gas oxide emissions which is are harmful to residents. residents (corrected grammar). Therefore, the local governments should implement a policy policies to control the budget of industrial factories. factories (changed "a policy" to "policies" for plural agreement).

Ultimately, the government governments should encourage the environmental protection of environment.(rephrased sentence for clarity and better word choice).

Title: 8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Economic shortfalls
   - Strategic budget cuts
   - Prioritizing environmental protection

2. Industrial factories
   - Carbon dioxide emissions
   - Health issues (e.g., asthma)
   - Rising sea levels and habitat destruction

3. Government actions
   - Controlling budgets for polluting industries
   - Proactive stance in mitigating impact on health and environment

4. Conclusion
   - Prioritize environmental preservation by reducing funding for harmful industries
   - Address ecological concerns and foster a sustainable future for all inhabitants of our planet.

Title: 9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
shortfall/ˈʃɔːrtfɔːl/nouna failure to reach a particular amount or number缺口,不足The company is facing an economic shortfall due to the recent market downturn.
strategic/strəˈtiːdʒɪk/adjectiverelating to the identification of long-term goals战略性的The government needs to make strategic decisions regarding budget cuts.
degradation/dɪˌgreɪdəˈreɪʃ(ə)n/nounthe process of something becoming worse or weaker恶化,退化Environmental degradation is a pressing issue that requires immediate attention.
exacerbate/ɪgˈzæsərbeɪt/verbto make a problem or difficult situation worse加重,恶化The factory's emissions exacerbate health issues such as asthma.
proactive/proʊˈæktɪv/adjectivetaking action by causing change and not only reacting to change积极主动的Local governments should take a proactive stance in mitigating the detrimental impact of pollution.
mitigation/ˌmɪtɪˈgeɪʃ(ə)n/nounthe action of reducing the severity, seriousness, or painfulness of something缓和,减轻Mitigation measures are necessary to address the negative effects of climate change.
preservation/ˌprɛzərˈveɪʃ(ə)n/nounthe act of keeping something in its original state or in good condition保护,维护Environmental preservation should be a top priority for governments worldwide.
sustainable/səˈsteɪnəb(ə)l/adjectiveable to be maintained at a certain rate or level可持续的Fostering a sustainable future for all inhabitants of our planet is essential.
ecological/ˌiːkəˈlɒdʒɪk(ə)l//ˌekə-/ adjective relating to ecology (the relationships between plants, animals, people, and their environment)生态的 The ecological concerns surrounding industrial factories must be addressed urgently.
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Comment la Discussion Académique est Évaluée

La tâche TOEFL Discussion Académique est évaluée selon le barème officiel de l'ETS. L'évaluation par IA analyse chaque réponse selon plusieurs dimensions.

Pertinence et Contribution

La réponse traite-t-elle la question et contribue-t-elle de façon pertinente à la discussion ?

Utilisation de la Langue

Précision grammaticale, richesse du vocabulaire et qualité de la structure des phrases.

Développement et Argumentation

Les idées sont-elles bien développées avec des exemples précis et un raisonnement clair ?

Tendances Communes dans les Réponses

D'après l'analyse des réponses soumises par les utilisateurs pour cette tâche, voici les tendances courantes observées dans les réponses des étudiants.

De nombreux étudiants expriment des opinions claires mais manquent d'exemples précis à l'appui.

Les réponses solides font directement référence au texte de lecture et aux points de vue des autres participants.

Les réponses les mieux notées utilisent des structures de phrases variées et un vocabulaire académique.

La gestion du temps est un facteur clé — les réponses qui semblent précipitées ont tendance à obtenir un score plus faible en développement.

Conseils d'Apprentissage

1

Lisez attentivement la consigne et identifiez toutes les parties de la question avant d'écrire.

2

Faites référence au texte de lecture et aux opinions des autres étudiants dans votre réponse.

3

Utilisez des exemples précis pour appuyer votre idée principale — évitez les affirmations génériques.

4

Visez 120 à 150 mots. Une réponse plus longue n'est pas toujours meilleure ; la clarté et la précision comptent davantage.

5

Entraînez-vous à répondre en temps limité (10 minutes) pour gagner en aisance dans les conditions de l'examen.

Questions fréquentes

Qu'est-ce que la tâche TOEFL Academic Discussion ?
La tâche TOEFL Academic Discussion vous demande de contribuer à une discussion de classe en ligne. Vous lirez la question d'un professeur ainsi que les réponses d'autres étudiants, puis vous rédigerez votre propre contribution exprimant et justifiant votre opinion en environ 10 minutes.
Comment la tâche Academic Discussion est-elle notée ?
La tâche est notée sur une échelle de 0 à 5 en fonction de la pertinence par rapport à la discussion, de la qualité de l'usage de la langue (grammaire, vocabulaire, structure des phrases), et de la manière dont vous développez et étayez vos idées à l'aide d'exemples précis et d'un raisonnement solide.
Que sont les exemples d'utilisateurs sur cette page ?
Il s'agit de véritables réponses soumises par des candidats au TOEFL qui se sont entraînés sur cette question sur LingoLeap. Chaque exemple a été évalué par notre moteur de notation par IA, qui fournit une note ainsi qu'un retour détaillé sur les points forts et les axes d'amélioration.
Quelle est la fiabilité de l'évaluation par IA ?
Le moteur d'évaluation par IA de LingoLeap est entraîné sur les grilles de notation officielles de l'ETS et calibré par rapport aux notes attribuées par des correcteurs humains. Bien qu'aucun système automatisé ne soit parfait, il fournit un retour fiable à des fins d'entraînement et aide à identifier des axes d'amélioration précis.
Comment puis-je m'entraîner à cette tâche Academic Discussion ?
Vous pouvez vous entraîner en créant un compte LingoLeap gratuit. Rédigez votre propre réponse à cette question précise, soumettez-la, et recevez une évaluation par IA instantanée accompagnée d'un retour détaillé sur votre rédaction.
Quelle longueur ma réponse Academic Discussion doit-elle avoir ?
Visez 120 à 150 mots. La tâche vous laisse 10 minutes pour rédiger votre réponse. Concentrez-vous sur la clarté, appuyez votre opinion avec des exemples précis, et faites référence au contexte de la discussion plutôt que d'écrire une réponse plus longue.

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