TOEFL Speaking Task 3 Sample: Explain how the example from the professor's lecture illustrates goal displacement.

1.子项得分 Delivery: 3 Language Use: 3 Topic Development: 3

2.预估分数

23. 3.表达

从表达方面来看，这位考生的语言流利度和语速基本一致，偶尔有停顿。为了提高口语表达能力，建议考生注意在适当的地方停顿，以增加语言的连贯性。同时，注意发音的准确性，以避免拼写错误。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，考生的回答内容基本上是连贯和有组织的，观点之间的联系也比较清晰。但是，在解释教授讲座中的例子时，考生没有明确指出这个例子是如何说明目标置换的。为了提高话题发展能力，建议考生在回答问题时更加关注问题要求，并给出更充分的支持和例子。

5.语言使用

Original: Nomadic phase means when insects need food, then all the group will travel together to another place. So the professor gives an example of ants to illustrate this concept. So the ants live underground, and their whole life is for collecting food. So when baby ants are born, they don't have enough food to eat at the current place. Therefore, the entire colonies will move to a new location for sufficient food supply. And when this location's supply runs out, they will find another new place. Until the baby ants grow and don't need that large amount of food supply. Therefore, they will stop and find an underground place to stay.

Corrected: Nomadic phase means when The nomadic phase occurs when insects need food, then and all the group will travel together to another place. So The professor gives an example of ants to illustrate this concept. So These ants live underground, and their whole life is for focused on collecting food. So When baby ants are born, they don't have enough food to eat at the current place. Therefore, the entire colonies will move to a new location for sufficient adequate food supply. And when this location's supply runs out, they will find another new place. Until This continues until the baby ants grow and don't need that large amount of food supply. Therefore, they will stop and find an underground place to stay.

(将“Nomadic phase means when”改为“The nomadic phase occurs when”，使句子更自然。去掉“then”，用“and”连接两个句子。将“So”改为“The”，使句子更连贯。将“So”改为“These”，使句子更清晰。将“for”改为“focused on”，使句子更准确。将“So”改为“When”，使句子更自然。将“sufficient”改为“adequate”，词汇更丰富。将“Until”改为“This continues until”，使句子更连贯。)

Revised (140 words):

The nomadic phase occurs when insects need food, and the entire group travels together to another place. The professor gives an example of ants to illustrate this concept. These ants live underground, and their whole life is focused on collecting food. When baby ants are born, they don't have enough food to eat at the current location. Therefore, the entire colony moves to a new location for an adequate food supply. When this location's supply runs out, they find another new place. This continues until the baby ants grow and no longer require a large amount of food. At this point, the ants stop moving and find a suitable underground location to establish their nest. This example demonstrates goal displacement as the ants' primary objective shifts from staying in one place to constantly moving in search of food for their growing young.

6.思维导图

• Nomadic Phase

  • Occurs when insects need food
  • Entire group travels together

• Example: Ants

  • Live underground
  • Focused on collecting food

• Baby Ants

  • Insufficient food at current location
  • Colony moves for adequate supply

• Continual Movement

  • New locations for food supply
  • Until baby ants grow and need less food

• Goal Displacement

  • Primary objective shifts from staying in one place to constantly moving for food

7.关键词