TOEFL TPO 75 Speaking Task 3 Sample: Explain how the example of the lecture illustrates the technique of behavioral exposure.

1.子项得分 Delivery: 3 Language Use: 3 Topic Development: 3

2.预估分数

23. 3.表达

从表达方面来看，这位同学的回答基本上是清晰的，但在语音和语调方面还有一些不足。建议同学在发音和语调上多加练习，以提高口语的流利度和自然度。同时，在回答问题时，注意适当的停顿和强调关键词。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，这位同学的回答基本上是符合题目要求的。但在组织结构和论证方面还有一些不足。建议同学在回答问题时，先简要概括阅读材料中的观点，然后详细描述听力材料中的例子，并明确指出这个例子如何说明阅读材料中的观点。此外，在使用连接词和过渡词时要更加自然，以提高回答的连贯性和条理性。

5.语言使用

Original: Behavioral exposure is the definition mentioned in the reading, which is one technique that can encourage children to perform gradually increasing amounts of the feared behavior. In the lecture, the professor used his own children as an example to explain it. You know, when his son was 18 years old, they moved to a new place. At first, his son was very afraid to talk to their neighbors. And at one night, the professor encouraged his son to say hi to a group of kids, but his son was very reluctant. And then on the way back to their homes, the professor encouraged his son to say nice about their back. And when they reached the homes, their son just went outside by bicycle. And at the end of the night, his son made several new friends. So therefore, there is one example.

Corrected: Behavioral exposure is the definition mentioned in the reading The reading passage introduces behavioral exposure (将原句改为更自然的表达方式), which is one technique that can encourage children to perform gradually increasing amounts of the feared behavior. In the lecture, the professor used his own children child (原文只提到了一个孩子) as an example to explain it. You know, when his son was 18 8 (听力原文中提到的是8岁) years old, they moved to a new place. At first, his son was very afraid to talk to their neighbors. And at one night, the professor encouraged his son to say hi to a group of kids, but his son was very reluctant. And then on the way back to their homes home (家应该是单数), the professor encouraged his son to say nice about their back something nice about their bikes (原句意思不清，应该是关于孩子们的自行车说些好话). And when they reached the home, their son just went outside by bicycle. And at the end of the night, his son made several new friends. So therefore, there is one example.

Revised Answer (140 words):

The reading passage introduces behavioral exposure, a technique that encourages children to gradually perform more of a feared behavior. In the lecture, the professor used his own child as an example to explain this concept. When his son was 8 years old, they moved to a new place where the boy was initially afraid to talk to their neighbors. One night, the professor encouraged his son to greet a group of kids; although reluctant, he did so. On their way back home, the professor urged his son to compliment the kids' bikes. After returning home, the boy went outside to ride his bicycle and eventually made several new friends by the end of the night. This example effectively illustrates how behavioral exposure can help children overcome their fears.

6.思维导图

- Behavioral Exposure
    - Technique
        - Gradually perform more of a feared behavior
    - Lecture Example
        - Professor's son
            - 8 years old
            - Moved to a new place
            - Afraid to talk to neighbors
        - Encouragement
            - Greet kids
            - Compliment bikes
        - Result
            - Overcame fear
            - Made new friends

7.关键词

1.Sub Scores Delivery: 3 Language Use: 2.5 Topic Development: 3

2.Estimated Scores

23. 3.Delivery

The speaker's delivery is generally clear and fluid, with a consistent pace and only occasional pauses. However, there are some minor issues with punctuation and pronunciation that need improvement. For example, the speaker should work on pronouncing words more accurately and using appropriate pauses to make the speech sound more natural.

4.Topic Development The speaker provides a coherent and well-organized response, with clear connections between ideas and sufficient support or examples. However, there are some inaccuracies in the content, such as mentioning the son's age as 16 instead of 8. To improve topic development, the speaker should pay closer attention to the details provided in the lecture and ensure that all information is accurate and relevant to the main idea of behavioral exposure.

5.Language Use

Original: The reading passage introduces the concept of behavioral exposure, which means a technique which helps children overcome problems they are afraid to encounter in a certain behavior. In a lecture, the professor illustrated this concept by his own son's experiences. His son is 16 years old. They moved to Los Angeles and one Saturday, his son really wanted to ride outside and play with the kids. But he hesitated to do so. The professor encouraged him to say hi and the son got a friendly hi back. On their way back, the professor encouraged the son again to say something about the bag. The son agreed with it and the children in the community also showed the son how fast the bag is. After this, the son can always automatically go outside and ride with their friend.

Corrected: The reading passage introduces the concept of behavioral exposure behavioral exposure, (added comma for clarity) which means a technique which that (replaced "which" with "that" for better flow) helps children overcome problems they are afraid to encounter in a certain behavior. In a lecture, the professor illustrated this concept by his own son's experiences. His son is 16 8 (corrected age) years old. They moved to Los Angeles and one Saturday, his son really wanted to ride outside and play with the kids. But he hesitated to do so. The professor encouraged him to say hi and the son got a friendly hi back. On their way back, the professor encouraged the son again to say something about the bag bike (corrected word). The son agreed with it and the children in the community also showed the son how fast the bag bike (corrected word) is. After this, the son can always automatically go outside and ride with their friend friends. (corrected word)

Revised Answer (140 words):

The reading passage introduces the concept of behavioral exposure, a technique that helps children overcome fears related to certain behaviors. In a lecture, the professor illustrated this concept using his 8-year-old son's experiences. They moved to Los Angeles, and one Saturday, his son wanted to ride his bike and play with other kids but hesitated. The professor encouraged him to say hi, and his son received a friendly response. On their way back, the professor encouraged his son to compliment a child's bike. The son did so, and the children showed him how fast their bikes were. After this experience, the son felt comfortable going outside and riding with his new friends. This example demonstrates how behavioral exposure can help children overcome their fears by gradually increasing their exposure to challenging situations.

6.Mind Map

- Behavioral Exposure
  - Technique
    - Overcome fears
      - Certain behaviors

- Lecture Example
  - Professor's son
    - 8 years old
    - Moved to Los Angeles
    - Hesitated to play with kids
  - Gradual exposure
    - Saying hi
    - Complimenting bike
  - Outcome
    - Son comfortable playing with friends

7.Key Words

1.子项得分

• 交付：3

• 语言使用：2.5

• 话题发展：3

2.预估分数

• 总分：23

3.表达 回答中的语言表达较为流畅，但在某些地方存在一些不太自然的停顿。建议在练习时注意语速的控制，避免过多的停顿。此外，部分单词发音不准确，需要加强发音练习。

4.话题发展 回答内容基本上涵盖了阅读和听力材料中的关键信息，但在表述过程中有些地方略显混乱。建议在组织回答时，先梳理好思路，将关键信息按照逻辑顺序进行陈述，并适当加入一些连接词以增强连贯性。

5.语言使用

Original: According to the reading passage, behavior exposure means that a kind of technique that can help children overcome this kind of fear. The professor sends his son, for example. His son are ready to a new neighborhood, which are not his friend, so he are always very afraid of them. Then his father want to go out and with him to buy an ice cream from store. So he pass them and say hi. And next, he can be more confident to say something with the kids. As a result, he make a friend from his new neighborhood.

Corrected: According to the reading passage, behavior exposure behavioral exposure (修改为正确的词汇) is a technique that can help children overcome their fear. The professor gives an example of his son who are ready moves (修改为正确的动词形式) to a new neighborhood where he doesn't have any friends, so he is always very afraid of them. Then his father want wants (修改为正确的动词形式) to go out with him to buy ice cream from the store. So they pass by the kids and say hi. After that, he becomes more confident in talking with the kids. As a result, he makes friends in his new neighborhood.

Revised (140 words): According to the reading passage, behavioral exposure is a technique that can help children overcome their fear by gradually increasing their exposure to the feared behavior. The professor gives an example of his son who moves to a new neighborhood where he doesn't have any friends, making him feel afraid. To help his son, the father decides to go out with him to buy ice cream from the store, passing by the kids and saying hi. This initial interaction helps the son gain confidence in talking with the kids. As they continue their walk, the father encourages his son to compliment the kids on their bikes, further increasing his confidence. As a result of this gradual exposure to social interactions, the son is able to overcome his fear and make friends in his new neighborhood, illustrating the effectiveness of behavioral exposure.

6.思维导图

• Behavioral Exposure

  • Technique
  • Overcome fear

• Professor's Example

  • Son moves to new neighborhood
  • No friends, feels afraid

• Father's Strategy

  • Buy ice cream, pass by kids
  • Say hi, gain confidence

• Gradual Exposure

  • Compliment kids on bikes
  • Increase confidence

• Result

  • Overcome fear
  • Make friends in new neighborhood

7.关键词

1.子项得分 Delivery: 2 Language Use: 2 Topic Development: 2

2.预估分数

15. 3.表达

从表达方面来看，这个回答有一些语法错误和不清晰的表述。例如，“the man suggested that Tommy can walk down the street and buy an ice cream”应该是“the man suggested that Tommy could walk down the street and buy an ice cream”。此外，回答中有一些重复的内容，如“when they return home, Tommy say hi back to Tommy”。建议在练习时注意语法正确性和清晰表达。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，回答没有充分说明行为暴露技术如何在这个例子中起作用。虽然回答提到了汤米和邻居孩子的互动，但没有明确指出这是通过逐步增加汤米面对恐惧行为的次数来帮助他克服恐惧。建议在回答时更详细地解释行为暴露技术如何在这个例子中应用，并提供更多支持和例子。

5.语言使用

Original Answer: The man take his own son Tommy as an example to illustrate the technique of behavioral exposure. When they moved to Los Angeles, his son Tommy wants to talk to their neighborhood's children but he is afraid of not being accepted and the man suggested that Tommy can walk down the street and buy an ice cream. They both walk by the neighborhood's door and the man suggested his son to say hi to the neighbor and when Tommy say hi to his neighbor, his neighbor just say hi back to Tommy and Tommy feel more confident when they return home and when they return home, Tommy say hi back to Tommy.

Corrected Answer: The man take took(把“take”改成过去时“took”) his own son Tommy as an example to illustrate the technique of behavioral exposure. When they moved to Los Angeles, his son Tommy wants wanted(把“wants”改成过去时“wanted”) to talk to their neighborhood's children but he is was(把“is”改成过去时“was”) afraid of not being accepted and the man suggested that Tommy can could(把“can”改成过去时“could”) walk down the street and buy an ice cream. They both walk walked(把“walk”改成过去时“walked”) by the neighborhood's door and the man suggested his son to say hi to the neighbor, .(把逗号改成句号) When Tommy say said(把“say”改成过去时“said”) hi to his neighbor, his neighbor just say said(把“say”改成过去时“said”) hi back to Tommy and Tommy feel felt(把“feel”改成过去时“felt”) more confident when they returned home, .(把逗号改成句号) When they returned home, Tommy say said(把“say”改成过去时“said”) hi back to Tommy.

Revised Answer (140 words): The man took his own son Tommy as an example to illustrate the technique of behavioral exposure. When they moved to Los Angeles, Tommy wanted to talk to the neighborhood children but was afraid of not being accepted. The man suggested that Tommy could walk down the street and buy an ice cream. As they walked by the neighborhood's door, the man encouraged his son to say hi to the neighbor. When Tommy said hi, the neighbor responded warmly, making Tommy feel more confident. Upon returning home, Tommy felt even more at ease. This example demonstrates how behavioral exposure works by gradually increasing the amount of feared behavior and showing that negative outcomes are unlikely, ultimately helping individuals overcome their fears.

6.思维导图

- Behavioral Exposure
  - Tommy's example
    - Moved to Los Angeles
    - Fear of not being accepted
    - Father's suggestion
      - Walk and buy ice cream
      - Say hi to neighbors
    - Gradual exposure
      - Positive interactions
      - Increased confidence
  - Overcoming fear

7.关键词

1.Sub Scores Delivery: 3.5 Language Use: 3.5 Topic Development: 4

2.Estimated Scores

27. 3.Delivery

The speaker's delivery is generally clear and fluid, with a consistent pace and only occasional pauses. However, there are some minor issues with pronunciation and word choice that could be improved. To enhance the delivery, the speaker should focus on practicing pronunciation and enunciation of words, as well as refining their choice of words to convey their ideas more effectively.

4.Topic Development The speaker does an excellent job in developing the topic by providing a coherent and well-organized response. They clearly explain the concept of behavioral exposure and use the example from the lecture to illustrate the technique effectively. The connections between ideas are clear, and sufficient support or examples are provided. To further improve topic development, the speaker could consider adding more details or elaborating on certain aspects of the example to provide a more comprehensive understanding of the technique.

5.Language Use

Original: The technique of behavioral exposure, as discussed in the lecture, involves in helping children overcome their fears and gradually build confidence in certain behavior. This is demonstrated through the professor's own example involving his son. When they moved to Los Angeles, his son was initially afraid to interact with other kids in their new neighborhood. The professor used the technique to gradually expose his sons and provide encouragement. At first, his son was encouraged to simply say hi as they walked past the kids on the street. After receiving a positive response, the boy's confidence increased. Subsequently, he was encouraged to engage in more detailed conversation, even compiling in other kids on their bikes. Through these gradual steps, the boy overcome his initial fears and developed new friendship.

Corrected: The technique of behavioral exposure, as discussed in the lecture, involves in helping children overcome their fears and gradually build confidence in regarding certain behavior. This is demonstrated through the professor's own example involving his son. When they moved to Los Angeles, his son was initially afraid to interact with other kids in their new neighborhood. The professor used the technique to gradually expose his sons son and provide encouragement. At first, his son was encouraged to simply say hi as they walked past the kids on the street. After receiving a positive response, the boy's confidence increased. Subsequently, he was encouraged to engage in more detailed conversation, , even compiling complimenting other kids on their bikes. Through these gradual steps, the boy overcome overcame his initial fears and developed new friendship friendships.

(Changes made: Removed "in" before "helping" for a more natural flow; replaced "in" with "regarding" for better word choice; changed "sons" to "son" for grammatical accuracy; added a comma after "conversation" for proper punctuation; replaced "compiling" with "complimenting" for correct word usage; changed "overcome" to "overcame" for proper verb tense; changed "friendship" to "friendships" for plural form.)

Revised Answer (140 words):

The technique of behavioral exposure, as discussed in the lecture, involves helping children overcome their fears and gradually build confidence regarding certain behaviors. This is exemplified through the professor's personal experience with his son. Upon moving to Los Angeles, the son initially felt apprehensive about interacting with other children in their new neighborhood. The professor employed the technique of gradual exposure to encourage his son and boost his confidence. Initially, the son was prompted to greet the neighborhood children as they walked by. After receiving positive responses, his confidence grew. He was then encouraged to engage in more detailed conversations, even complimenting other children on their bikes. Through these incremental steps, the boy overcame his initial fears and formed new friendships.

6.Mind Map

- Behavioral Exposure
    - Overcoming fears
    - Building confidence
    - Gradual exposure
        - Professor's example
            - Son's fear of interaction
            - Moving to Los Angeles
            - Encouragement and exposure
                - Greeting children
                - Engaging in conversation
                - Complimenting bikes
            - Outcome
                - Overcame fears
                - Developed friendships

7.Key Words

1.Sub Scores Delivery: 3 Language Use: 3 Topic Development: 3

2.Estimated Scores

23. 3.Delivery

The speaker's delivery is generally clear and fluid, with a consistent pace and only occasional pauses. However, there are some instances where the speaker could improve their delivery by avoiding repetition of certain phrases and ensuring that their pronunciation is accurate. To improve, the speaker should practice speaking more naturally and confidently, focusing on proper pronunciation and avoiding unnecessary repetitions.

4.Topic Development The speaker provides a coherent and well-organized response, with clear connections between ideas and sufficient support or examples. They effectively explain how the example from the lecture illustrates the technique of behavioral exposure. However, there is room for improvement in terms of providing more specific details from the lecture and elaborating on how these details relate to the concept of behavioral exposure. To enhance topic development, the speaker should focus on incorporating more specific examples from the lecture and further explaining their relevance to the overall concept.

5.Language Use

Behavioral exposure is a technique to help children overcome the fears fear of engaging in some kind of activities which they are afraid of due to potential negative consequences. The professor used to employ this technique in his kids with his children ("in his kids" is informal; "with his children" is more appropriate) when they first moved to LA. Tommy wanted to play with the kids in the neighborhood but he was afraid that they won't accept him as a newcomer. So the professor suggested that Tommy can ask this boy to walk by and say hi. So they greeted each other with passion. So Tommy became gradually more confident. When they back returned ("back" is not appropriate here; "returned" is the correct word) from the store, the professor suggested that Tommy can talk some good things about their bikes. So as a result, the son interacted well with those kids. Lastly, Tommy was exposed to these kids so many times. So his fear gradually ceased and decided to ride a bike with them together.

Revised Answer (140 words):

Behavioral exposure is a technique that helps children overcome their fear of engaging in certain activities due to potential negative consequences. The professor employed this technique with his children when they first moved to Los Angeles. Tommy wanted to play with the neighborhood kids but was afraid they wouldn't accept him as a newcomer. The professor suggested that Tommy walk by and say hi, leading to a friendly exchange that boosted Tommy's confidence. When they returned from the store, the professor encouraged Tommy to compliment their bikes, resulting in positive interactions with the kids. Through repeated exposure to the neighborhood children, Tommy's fear gradually diminished, and he eventually decided to ride his bike with them, successfully overcoming his initial apprehension.

6.Mind Map

- Behavioral exposure
  - Technique
  - Overcome fear
  - Negative consequences

- Professor's example
  - Tommy
  - New to Los Angeles
  - Afraid of neighborhood kids

- Gradual exposure
  - Saying hi
  - Complimenting bikes
  - Positive interactions

- Fear diminished
  - Repeated exposure
  - Confidence increased
  - Rode bike with new friends

7.Key Words

1.子项得分 Delivery: 3 Language Use: 3 Topic Development: 3

2.预估分数

23. 3.表达

从表达方面来看，这个回答的语言流畅度和语速基本上是一致的，但偶尔会有停顿。为了提高口语表达能力，建议在练习时注意以下几点：1)尝试减少不必要的停顿，让语言更加流畅；2)注意发音的准确性，避免出现拼写错误；3)在练习时多关注语言的连贯性和自然度。通过以上几点的改进，相信你的口语表达能力会有所提高。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，这个回答内容基本上是连贯和组织良好的，但在某些地方可以进一步完善。为了提高话题发展能力，建议在练习时注意以下几点：1)在描述例子时，尽量使用更详细和具体的信息来支持观点；2)在连接不同观点时，使用恰当的过渡词或短语来增强连贯性；3)在总结时，尝试更清晰地阐述主题与例子之间的关系。通过以上几点的改进，相信你的话题发展能力会有所提高。

5.语言使用

原文：Behavior Explorer Behavioral Exposure(行为暴露) is a strategy to encourage children to overcome their fear. The professor uses his 8-year-old son, for example, to illustrate this. When they moved to Los Angeles, his son was afraid that the children don't like him, so he didn't talk with the children. However, the professor encouraged the son to talk with the children about the height greeting(问候) and whether they like their back bike(自行车), and his son felt more relaxed and confident. When they reached home, his son wanted to ride a bike with him and started talking with the local children. As a result, his son got new friends at that afternoon.

(原文中的“Behavior Explorer”应改为“Behavioral Exposure”，因为这是正确的术语。另外，“height”应改为“greeting”，因为这里讲的是问候，而不是高度。最后，“back”应改为“bike”，因为这里讲的是自行车，而不是背部。)

Revised Answer (140 words):

Behavioral Exposure is an effective technique that helps children overcome their fears by gradually increasing their exposure to the feared behavior. The professor shared an example of using this technique with his 8-year-old son when they moved to Los Angeles. His son was initially afraid to interact with other children in the neighborhood, fearing they might not like him. However, the professor encouraged his son to greet the children and compliment their bikes, which made him feel more relaxed and confident. After returning home, the son felt comfortable enough to ride his bike and engage in conversations with the local children. As a result, he was able to make new friends by the end of the afternoon. This example demonstrates how Behavioral Exposure can effectively help children overcome their fears and build confidence in social situations.

6.思维导图

Behavioral Exposure
├─ Technique
│   └─ Overcome fears
├─ Professor's Example
│   ├─ 8-year-old son
│   ├─ Moving to Los Angeles
│   └─ Fear of interacting with other children
├─ Encouragement
│   ├─ Greeting children
│   └─ Complimenting bikes
├─ Result
│   ├─ Increased confidence
│   └─ Made new friends

7.关键词

1.子项得分

• 交付 (Delivery): 3

• 语言使用 (Language Use): 3

• 话题发展 (Topic Development): 3

2.预估分数

• 总分: 23

3.表达 回答中的发音大部分清晰，但在某些地方可能需要稍作调整。为了提高发音的准确性，请注意练习发音，并尝试在练习时保持一致的语速和自然的停顿。此外，注意在句子之间适当地使用停顿，以增强语言的连贯性。

4.话题发展 回答内容基本上是连贯和有组织的，但可以通过添加更多细节和例子来进一步加强。例如，在描述汤米与其他孩子互动时，可以提供更多关于他如何克服恐惧并逐渐建立信心的信息。此外，在总结时，可以更明确地指出这个例子如何说明行为暴露技术的有效性。总的来说，尝试在回答中提供更多具体细节和支持观点的例子，以使内容更丰富和有说服力。

5.语言使用

Original Answer: The professor discussed a concept called behavioral exposure, which is a technique helping children to overcome their fear of failure. The professor introduced the concept of behavioral exposure, a technique that assists children in overcoming their fear of failure. (将句子结构进行了调整，使其更自然。)

The professor used his son, Tomy, as an example. The professor provided an example using his son, Tommy. (修正了名字的拼写错误，并调整了句子结构。)

When Tomy was 8 years old and was just moved to a new city, he was afraid to communicate with other children in his neighborhood. When Tommy was 8 years old and had just moved to a new city, he was hesitant to interact with other children in his neighborhood. (修正了名字的拼写错误，调整了时态和句子结构。)

Under the professor's encouragement, he was first hesitant but eventually became very brave to say hi to strange kids. With the professor's encouragement, he initially hesitated but eventually mustered the courage to greet unfamiliar kids. (调整了句子结构，使用了更高级的词汇。)

After receiving a nice response, he felt more relaxed and started talking to strangers with more confidence. After receiving friendly responses, he felt more at ease and began conversing with strangers more confidently. (调整了句子结构，使用了更高级的词汇。)

After that, he tried to express his admiration of other children's bike and gained some friends. Subsequently, he expressed his admiration for other children's bikes and made new friends. (调整了句子结构，使用了更高级的词汇。)

Revised Answer (140 words): The professor introduced the concept of behavioral exposure, a technique that assists children in overcoming their fear of failure. The professor provided an example using his son, Tommy. When Tommy was 8 years old and had just moved to a new city, he was hesitant to interact with other children in his neighborhood. With the professor's encouragement, he initially hesitated but eventually mustered the courage to greet unfamiliar kids. After receiving friendly responses, he felt more at ease and began conversing with strangers more confidently. Subsequently, he expressed his admiration for other children's bikes and made new friends. This example demonstrates the effectiveness of behavioral exposure in helping children overcome their fears by gradually increasing their exposure to the feared behavior and building their confidence through positive experiences.

6.思维导图

- Behavioral Exposure
  - Technique
    - Overcoming fear of failure
  - Example
    - Professor's son, Tommy
      - 8 years old, new city
      - Hesitant to interact with neighborhood kids
      - Encouragement from professor
        - Greeting unfamiliar kids
        - Friendly responses
        - Increased confidence in conversing with strangers
      - Admiration for other children's bikes
      - Making new friends

7.关键词

1.子项得分

• 交付：3

• 语言使用：3

• 话题发展：3

2.预估分数

• 总分：23

3.表达 回答中的表达大体上是清晰的，但在某些地方可能需要更加流畅。建议在练习发言时，注意保持一致的语速和适当的停顿。同时，注意发音的准确性，以避免拼写错误。

4.话题发展 回答内容基本上是连贯和有组织的，但可以在某些地方加强对行为暴露技术的解释。例如，在描述汤米与邻居孩子互动的过程中，可以更明确地说明这是行为暴露技术的逐步实施。此外，在总结时，可以强调这个例子如何证明了行为暴露技术的有效性。

5.语言使用

原文：The man taking his own son, Tommy, to illustrate the technique of behavioral exposal. The man uses his own son, Tommy, as an example to illustrate the technique of behavioral exposure.（将“taking”改为“uses”，将“exposal”改为“exposure”，使句子更自然。） 原文：When they moved to Los Angeles, the man's son, Tony, When they moved to Los Angeles, the man's son, Tommy,（将“Tony”改为“Tommy”，保持一致性。） 原文：So the man suggests Tommy riding a bicycle to buy ice cream. So the man suggests that Tommy ride a bicycle to buy ice cream.（在“suggests”后加上“that”，并将“riding”改为“ride”，使句子结构更准确。） 原文：He nudged Tommy to say hi with a boy when they went by the neighborhood. He nudged Tommy to say hi to a boy when they passed by the neighborhood kids.（将“with”改为“to”，将“went by”改为“passed by”，使句子更自然。） 原文：Then the boy just said hi back and Tommy felt a little bit relaxed. Then the boy simply said hi back, and Tommy felt somewhat relaxed.（将“just”改为“simply”，将“a little bit”改为“somewhat”，使句子更自然。） 原文：When they returned, Tommy said hi to another boy and this time he felt more confident. When they returned, Tommy greeted another boy, and this time he felt more confident.（将“said hi”改为“greeted”，使句子更自然。） 原文：The boy also said hi back to Tommy and then they began to talk about bike. The boy also responded to Tommy's greeting, and then they began to talk about bikes.（将“said hi back”改为“responded to Tommy's greeting”，将“bike”改为复数形式“bikes”，使句子更自然。）

修订版（140字）：

The man uses his own son, Tommy, as an example to illustrate the technique of behavioral exposure. When they moved to Los Angeles, the man's son, Tommy, wanted to talk to the neighborhood children but was afraid of not being accepted. So the man suggests that Tommy ride a bicycle to buy ice cream. He nudged Tommy to say hi to a boy when they passed by the neighborhood kids. Then the boy simply said hi back, and Tommy felt somewhat relaxed. When they returned, Tommy greeted another boy, and this time he felt more confident. The boy also responded to Tommy's greeting, and then they began to talk about bikes. Since that time, Tommy started going outside more often and making friends.

6.思维导图

- Behavioral Exposure
  - Example: Tommy
    - Moved to Los Angeles
    - Afraid of not being accepted
  - Father's suggestion
    - Ride a bicycle to buy ice cream
    - Say hi to neighborhood kids
  - Gradual exposure
    - First interaction: somewhat relaxed
    - Second interaction: more confident
  - Outcome
    - Tommy starts going outside more often
    - Makes new friends

7.关键词