TOEFL TPO 45 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度：3 组织：3 连贯与衔接：3 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

20. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章回答了题目要求的问题，但是在论述方面还有待加强。首先，在阐述听力部分的观点时，可以更详细地描述教授的论证过程，以增强说服力。其次，在反驳阅读部分观点时，需要更明确地指出听力部分如何质疑阅读材料的论点。

示例1： 原文：“However, the professor argues that bees may not feed on flowers before, they may adapt to feed on other sources of food.” 改进：“The professor counters this argument by stating that early bees could have fed on non-flowering plants such as ferns or pine trees before adapting to flowering plants later in their evolutionary history.”

示例2： 原文：“the professor shows that bees could identify a kind of chemical, which means that bees before have a same structure with contemporary bees” 改进：“The professor presents evidence of the presence of a distinctive waterproofing substance in the fossilized chambers, which is chemically identical to the one used by modern bees, suggesting that ancient bees built these chambers.”

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构基本符合要求，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在组织方面还有一些不足。首先，需要在段落之间加入过渡性词语或句子，使文章更加连贯。其次，可以在正文部分明确地指出每个段落反驳阅读材料的哪个观点，以增强逻辑性。

示例1： 原文：“First of all, the professor believes that the fossile of bees are not preserved.” 改进：“Firstly, in response to the reading passage's claim that no bee fossils have been found dating back 200 million years, the professor argues that...”

示例2： 原文：“Second, the reading passage implies that there were no flowering plants before and bees can not survive.” 改进：“Secondly, addressing the reading passage's assertion about the absence of flowering plants 200 million years ago, the professor contends that...”

5. 语法批改

While the reading passage shows that the theory of existence of bees means there are no bees as early as 200 million years age, the professor argues that the theory is not convincing. First of allFirst(first of all (first)), the professor believes that the fossilefossil(misspelling) of bees are not preserved. For instance, the bees always stayed on a kind of trees, the tree is rare today, and the fossilefossil(misspelling) will not exist because of no trees, which is a contradiction of the reading passage which shows that there are no fossilfossils(Possible agreement error 'there're' + singular noun) of bees means there were no bees before. Second, the reading passage implies that there were no flowering plants before and bees can not survive. However, the professor argues that bees may not feed on flowers before, they may adapt to feed on other sources of food. Finally, the professor shows that bees could identify a kind of chemical, which means that bees before have a same structure with contemporary bees, which is contrastin contrast(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'in' is missing in a sentence.) to the point of reading passage that fossilized structures were made by other insects. In conclusion, the professor proposes three significant perspectives which could subvert the statemnetsstatements(misspelling) in the reading passage.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading passage posits that bees did not exist 200 million years ago, citing the lack of fossil evidence, absence of flowering plants, and differences in nest structures. However, the lecture casts doubt on these points by providing alternative explanations.

Firstly, the lecture contends that the absence of bee fossils from 200 million years ago does not necessarily mean they did not exist. The professor explains that bees are typically preserved in fossilized tree resin, which was scarce during that time period. Thus, it is possible that bees existed but were not preserved due to the rarity of suitable trees.

Secondly, while the reading passage asserts that bees could not have existed without flowering plants, the lecture challenges this assumption. The professor suggests that early bees may have fed on non-flowering plants such as ferns or pine trees before adapting to flowering plants when they evolved. This indicates that bees could have survived prior to the emergence of flowering plants.

Lastly, despite differences in nest structures between modern and ancient specimens, the lecture presents chemical evidence supporting the idea that ancient bees built these chambers. The professor explains that modern bees use a distinctive waterproofing substance to protect their nests from water damage. Upon analyzing the fossilized chambers, researchers discovered this same waterproofing material present in them.

In light of these points made by the professor, it becomes evident that there is room for doubt regarding the assertions made in the reading passage about bee existence 200 million years ago. (253 words)

While the The reading passage shows that the theory of existence of bees means there are no bees as early as posits that bees did not exist 200 million years age, the ago, citing the lack of fossil evidence, absence of flowering plants, and differences in nest structures. However, the lecture casts doubt on these points by providing alternative explanations (Changed to clarify the main idea of the paragraph).

Firstly, the lecture contends that the absence of bee fossils from 200 million years ago does not necessarily mean they did not exist. The professor argues that the theory explains that bees are typically preserved in fossilized tree resin, which was scarce during that time period. Thus, it is not convincing. ¶ First of all, the professor believes that the fossile of bees are not preserved. For instance, the bees always stayed on a kind of trees, the tree is rare today, and the fossile will not exist because of no trees, which is a contradiction of possible that bees existed but were not preserved due to the rarity of suitable trees (Revised for clarity and flow).

Secondly, while the reading passage which shows asserts that bees could not have existed without flowering plants, the lecture challenges this assumption. The professor suggests that early bees may have fed on non-flowering plants such as ferns or pine trees before adapting to flowering plants when they evolved. This indicates that bees could have survived prior to the emergence of flowering plants (Revised for clarity and flow).

Lastly, despite differences in nest structures between modern and ancient specimens, the lecture presents chemical evidence supporting the idea that ancient bees built these chambers. The professor explains that modern bees use a distinctive waterproofing substance to protect their nests from water damage. Upon analyzing the fossilized chambers, researchers discovered this same waterproofing material present in them (Revised for clarity and flow).

In light of these points made by the professor, it becomes evident that there are no fossil of bees means there were no bees before. ¶ Second, is room for doubt regarding the assertions made in the reading passage implies that there were no flowering plants before and bees can not survive. However, the professor argues that bees may not feed on flowers before, they may adapt to feed on other sources of food. ¶ Finally, the professor shows that bees could identify about bee existence 200 million years ago (Rephrased for a kind of chemical, which means that bees before have a same structure with contemporary bees, which is contrast to the point of reading passage that fossilized structures were made by other insects. ¶ In conclusion, the professor proposes three significant perspectives which could subvert the statemnets in the reading passage.more concise conclusion).

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Reading passage claims
  - Lecture challenges

- Absence of Fossils
  - Reading: lack of evidence
  - Lecture: scarcity of fossilized tree resin

- Flowering Plants
  - Reading: bees need flowering plants
  - Lecture: early bees fed on non-flowering plants

- Nest Structures
  - Reading: differences in structures
  - Lecture: chemical evidence of waterproofing substance

- Conclusion
  - Doubt regarding reading passage assertions

9. Keywords

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

总体来说，文章回应了题目要求，概述了听力材料中的观点，并对阅读材料中的论点进行了反驳。但是，文章在表达某些观点时不够清晰。为了提高任务完成度，建议在写作时更加关注准确地传达听力材料中的信息，并确保正确理解阅读材料中的论点。

示例1： 原文：Nontheless, lecturer demonstrates that the reason for such phenomenon is the fossil of bees cannot be preserved well at that time. 改进：Nonetheless, the lecturer explains that the lack of bee fossils from 200 million years ago may be due to the rarity of trees producing the right kind of resin needed for preservation during that time.

示例2： 原文：the lectures states that they may have the same structure and modern bee use special waterproof materials that don't exsit 200 years ago to build nest. 改进：The lecturer states that despite the lack of spiral caps, there is chemical evidence supporting the theory that bees built those chambers, as they contain a similar waterproofing material used by modern bees.

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面有待提高。虽然文章包含了引言、主体和结论，但各段落之间的衔接不够明显。建议在写作时使用更明确的过渡词和短语，以帮助读者更好地理解文章的逻辑结构。

示例1： 原文：Firstly, the author believes that although there have been found some fossil strctures that resemble bee nests, no evidence shows that there have a fossil of actual bees which make the theory that bees exist 200 millions years ago unconvincable. 改进：Firstly, the author argues that the lack of actual bee fossils from 200 million years ago makes the theory of their existence during that time unconvincing.

示例2： 原文：Secondly, the lectures disputes the writer's idea that absense of flower in that period make the possibility of bee exist 200 million years ago much little by pointing out that bees exist much more ahead than flowers from the documents. 改进：Secondly, the lecturer disputes the writer's idea by pointing out that it is possible for bees to have existed before flowering plants, as they could have fed on non-flowering plants such as ferns or pine trees.

5. 语法批改

The article departs skeptical about bee's existence 200 million years ago for three reasons: no fossils of actual bees, absence of flowering plants and structruestructure(misspelling) lack some details. However ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) the lecturer cliamsclaims(misspelling) that the corroboration in the reading passage is not convincing.

Firstly, the author believes that although there have been found some fossil strcturesstructures(misspelling) that resemble bee nests, no evidence shows that there have a fossil of actual bees which make the theory that bees exist 200 millions years ago unconvincableuncombinable(misspelling). NonthelessNonetheless(misspelling), lecturer demonstrates that the reason for such phenomenon is the fossil of bees cannot be preserved well at that time. The trees let sticky liquid out and maybe bees donnotdon not(misspelling) settle on that trees back 200 million years ago.

Secondly, the lectures disputesdispute(punctuation + plural noun + singular verb) the writer's idea that absenseabsence(misspelling) of flower in that period make the possibility of bee exist 200 million years ago much little by pointing out that bees exist much more ahead than flowers from the documents.In In(Missing space between sentences) their time without flowers ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) they have other things to feed themselves.The The(Missing space between sentences) mutually interdependent biological relationship areis(Subject-verb agreement) built up after the flowers show up.

Finally,while, while(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) the reading passage procliamsproclaims(misspelling) that the fossils of that bee nests lack details such as caps which modern bee nests have, the lectures states that they may have the same structure and modern bee use special waterproof materials that don't exsitexist(misspelling) 200 years ago to build nest

6.文章修订

The article expresses skepticism about the existence of bees 200 million years ago, citing three reasons: the absence of actual bee fossils, the lack of flowering plants, and the incomplete details found in fossilized structures resembling bee nests. However, the lecturer contends that the evidence presented in the reading passage is unconvincing and offers counterarguments to each point.

Firstly, the author argues that the lack of actual bee fossils from 200 million years ago makes their existence during that time implausible. Nonetheless, the lecturer explains that this absence may be due to the rarity of trees producing suitable resin for preservation during that period. Consequently, while there are no known bee fossils from 200 million years ago, it does not definitively prove that bees did not exist at that time.

Secondly, the lecturer disputes the writer's assertion that bees could not have existed 200 million years ago due to the absence of flowering plants. The lecturer posits that it is possible for bees to have existed before flowering plants appeared on Earth since they could have fed on non-flowering plants such as ferns or pine trees. This adaptation would have allowed bees to survive until flowering plants evolved, at which point a mutually beneficial relationship between bees and flowering plants developed and persisted.

Lastly, although the reading passage claims that fossilized structures lack certain details found in modern bee nests, such as spiral caps, chemical evidence supports their origin as bee-made chambers. The lecturer states that these fossilized chambers contain a waterproofing material with a distinctive chemical composition similar to what modern bees use today. This finding bolsters the theory that bees constructed these chambers 200 million years ago.

By addressing each argument presented in the reading passage and providing alternative explanations supported by scientific evidence, the lecturer effectively casts doubt on the skepticism surrounding bees' existence during this ancient period. (312 words)

7.文章批改

The article departs skeptical expresses skepticism about bee's the existence of bees 200 million years ago, citing three reasons: the absence of actual bee fossils, the lack of flowering plants, and the incomplete details found in fossilized structures resembling bee nests. (I revised this sentence to clarify the main points of skepticism presented in the reading passage.) However, the lecturer contends that the evidence presented in the reading passage is unconvincing and offers counterarguments to each point.

Firstly, the author argues that the lack of actual bee fossils from 200 million years ago for three reasons: makes their existence during that time implausible. (I rephrased this sentence to make it more concise and clear.) Nonetheless, the lecturer explains that this absence may be due to the rarity of trees producing suitable resin for preservation during that period. (I corrected grammar and word choice to improve clarity.) Consequently, while there are no known bee fossils of actual bees, from 200 million years ago, it does not definitively prove that bees did not exist at that time.

Secondly, the lecturer disputes the writer's assertion that bees could not have existed 200 million years ago due to the absence of flowering plants. (I revised this sentence for better coherence and clarity.) The lecturer posits that it is possible for bees to have existed before flowering plants and structrue lack some details. However , the lecturer cliams that the corroboration in appeared on Earth since they could have fed on non-flowering plants such as ferns or pine trees. (I corrected grammar and word choice for improved clarity.) This adaptation would have allowed bees to survive until flowering plants evolved, at which point a mutually beneficial relationship between bees and flowering plants developed and persisted.

Lastly, although the reading passage is not convincing. ¶ Firstly, the author believes that although there have been claims that fossilized structures lack certain details found some fossil strctures that resemble in modern bee nests, no such as spiral caps, chemical evidence shows that there have supports their origin as bee-made chambers. (I rephrased this sentence for better coherence and clarity.) The lecturer states that these fossilized chambers contain a fossil of actual bees which make waterproofing material with a distinctive chemical composition similar to what modern bees use today. (I corrected grammar and word choice for improved clarity.) This finding bolsters the theory that bees exist 200 millions years ago unconvincable. Nontheless, lecturer demonstrates that the reason for such phenomenon is the fossil of bees cannot be preserved well at that time. The trees let sticky liquid out and maybe bees donnot settle on that trees back constructed these chambers 200 million years ago.

Secondly, the lectures disputes the writer's idea that absense of flower By addressing each argument presented in that period make the possibility of bee exist 200 million years ago much little by pointing out that bees exist much more ahead than flowers from the documents.In their time without flowers , they have other things to feed themselves.The mutually interdependent biological relationship are built up after the flowers show up. ¶ Finally,while the reading passage procliams that the fossils of that bee nests lack details such as caps which modern bee nests have, the lectures states that they may have the same structure and modern bee use special waterproof materials that don't exsit 200 years ago to build nestand providing alternative explanations supported by scientific evidence, the lecturer effectively casts doubt on the skepticism surrounding bees' existence during this ancient period. (I revised this sentence to create a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points of the essay.)

8.思维导图

- Introduction
  - Skepticism about bees' existence 200 million years ago
  - Lecturer's counterarguments

- Point 1: Absence of actual bee fossils
  - Rarity of trees producing suitable resin for preservation

- Point 2: Lack of flowering plants
  - Bees possibly fed on non-flowering plants (ferns, pine trees)
  - Adaptation and evolution of mutual relationship with flowering plants

- Point 3: Incomplete details in fossilized structures
  - Chemical evidence (waterproofing material)

- Conclusion
  - Lecturer effectively casts doubt on skepticism surrounding bees' existence during this ancient period.

9.关键词

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they cast doubt on the specific points made in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in terms of language use and clarity. To improve the essay, focus on using more precise vocabulary and sentence structures. Additionally, make sure to use appropriate transitions between ideas.

Example 1: Original: "According to the reading, the fact that no actual bee fossils have been found indicates bees did not exist 200 million years ago." Improved: "The reading passage argues that since no bee fossils dating back to 200 million years ago have been discovered, it is unlikely that bees existed during that time."

Example 2: Original: "The lecturer disputes the arguments made in the article." Improved: "The lecturer challenges each of the arguments presented in the reading passage by providing counterpoints."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point from the lecture, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of coherence and cohesion. To enhance your essay's organization, make sure to use appropriate transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Example 1: Original: "Secondly, the author suggests... The lecturer, however..." Improved: "Contrarily, while the author suggests... The lecturer counters this argument by stating..."

Example 2: Original: "Finally, the author posits... In contrast..." Improved: "Lastly, although the author posits... The lecturer refutes this claim by highlighting..."

5. Grammar

The reading and the lecture are both about bees. The author of the reading provides three theories about bees cannot exist on Earth 200 million years ago. The lecturer disputes the arguments made in the article. Her position is that the theories are not convincing. According to the reading, the fact that no actual bee fossils have been found indicates bees did not exist 200 million years ago. This specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. She claims that the bee fossils might have not been preserved. Additionally, she points out that bee fossils are usually preserved in 2sticky liquidliquid,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which is rare. Secondly, the author suggests the absence of flowering plants supports that bees did not exist. The lecturer, however, asserts that early bees might feed on non-flowering plants like pine trees. He goes on to say that bees and flowering might have developed a stable association ever since. Finally, the author posits that the fossilized structures lack the caps that close the chambers of today's bee nests. The author contends that the structures were made by other insects. In contrast, the lecturer's stance is that the chemical analysis supports these structures are made by bees. She notes that these fossils contain the same water-proofing material as modern bee nests.

Section title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading and the lecture are both about bees. The author of the reading provides three theories about why bees cannot have existed on Earth 200 million years ago. The lecturer disputes the arguments made in the article, asserting that the theories are not convincing.

According to the reading, the absence of actual bee fossils from 200 million years ago indicates that bees did not exist at that time. This specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. She claims that bee fossils might not have been preserved due to a lack of suitable tree resin, which was rare during that period.

Secondly, the author suggests that the absence of flowering plants supports the idea that bees did not exist back then. The lecturer, however, asserts that early bees might have fed on non-flowering plants like pine trees or ferns before adapting to flowering plants later in their evolutionary history. This adaptation could have led to a stable association between bees and flowering plants ever since.

Finally, the author posits that fossilized structures resembling bee nests lack certain details found in modern bee nests, such as caps with spiral patterns. The author contends that these structures were made by other insects like wood-boring beetles. In contrast, the lecturer's stance is that chemical analysis supports these structures being made by bees. She notes that these fossils contain a waterproofing material with a distinctive chemical composition similar to what is used by modern bees in their nests. (249 words)

The reading and the lecture are both about bees. The author of the reading provides three theories about why bees cannot exist have existed on Earth 200 million years ago. ago (this revision clarifies the meaning of the sentence). The lecturer disputes the arguments made in the article. Her position is article, asserting that the theories are not convincing.

According to the reading, the fact that no absence of actual bee fossils have been found indicates bees did not exist from 200 million years ago. ago indicates that bees did not exist at that time. This specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. She claims that the bee fossils might have not not have been preserved. Additionally, she points out that preserved due to a lack of suitable tree resin (this revision adds context to why bee fossils are usually preserved in 2sticky liquid might not have been preserved), which is rare. was rare during that period.

Secondly, the author suggests that the absence of flowering plants supports the idea that bees did not exist. exist back then. The lecturer, however, asserts that early bees might feed have fed on non-flowering plants like pine trees. He goes on to say that bees and trees or ferns (this revision adds an example of another non-flowering plant) before adapting to flowering might have developed plants later in their evolutionary history. This adaptation could have led to a stable association between bees and flowering plants ever since.

Finally, the author posits that the fossilized structures resembling bee nests lack the certain details found in modern bee nests, such as caps that close the chambers of today's bee nests. with spiral patterns (this revision specifies what details are missing from fossilized structures). The author contends that the these structures were made by other insects. insects like wood-boring beetles (this revision provides an example of another insect). In contrast, the lecturer's stance is that the chemical analysis supports these structures are being made by bees. She notes that these fossils contain the same water-proofing a waterproofing material as with a distinctive chemical composition similar to what is used by modern bee nests.bees in their nests (this revision explains how chemical analysis supports her argument).

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8. Display title: 8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Reading and lecture about bees
  - Three theories in reading
  - Lecturer disputes arguments

- Theory 1: Absence of bee fossils
  - Reading: No bee fossils from 200 million years ago
  - Lecture: Lack of suitable tree resin for preservation

- Theory 2: Absence of flowering plants
  - Reading: No flowering plants, no bees
  - Lecture: Early bees fed on non-flowering plants, later adapted to flowering plants

- Theory 3: Fossilized structures not made by bees
  - Reading: Structures lack details found in modern bee nests, made by other insects
  - Lecture: Chemical analysis supports structures being made by bees, similar composition to modern nests

9. Display title: 9. Key Words