TOEFL TPO 64 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

你的文章基本上回答了题目要求，但是可以更加深入地讨论听力部分的观点。为了提高任务完成度，你可以在每个段落中更详细地解释听力部分的观点，并说明它们是如何挑战阅读部分的论点的。

示例1: Instead of saying "the yield of the broccoli in the east is lower, resulting in a higher price," you could explain more about why the lower yield leads to a higher price and how this challenges the reading's argument about transportation costs.

示例2: Rather than just stating that "other plants grow locally also contains the same nutrition," you could provide more information about these local plants and their nutritional benefits, as mentioned in the listening, to further challenge the reading's argument.

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构可以改进，以使其更清晰和有逻辑。建议在引言中简要概述阅读和听力部分的主要观点，然后在正文段落中详细讨论它们。此外，在段落之间使用明确的过渡词或短语来帮助读者理解你的观点。

示例1: You could start your essay with an introduction like this: "The reading passage and the lecture discuss the possibility of growing broccoli on the East Coast of the United States. While the reading presents three arguments in favor of this idea, the lecture challenges each of these points."

示例2: To improve coherence and cohesion, you could use transition words or phrases like "On the other hand," "Furthermore," or "In contrast" to connect your ideas and paragraphs more effectively. For example: "In contrast to the reading's claim that traditional breeding methods will make the new broccoli more acceptable to consumers, the lecture argues that..."

5. 语法批改

Both the reading and the listening discuss whether it is practical to grow Broccoli on the east coast of America. The reading proposes three ideas to support his idea, but the listening thinks that none of the reasons is convincing. First of allFirst(first of all (first)), although the reading essay deems that growing broccoli on the sell it locally will save the transportation cost. Due to the long distance and transportation, the cost of the item is high. The cost will be saved if the vegetable is grown in the east coastEast Coast(capitalize proper names, geographic terms, historic episodes...), thus, people are willing to buy it. However, what the reading agrees is doubted by the listening because even if the price is cheaper, the yield of the broccoli in the east is lower, resulting in a higher price. In the end, the price of broccoli will cancel off the savings in the transportation fee, suggesting that it is an unpractical method. In addition, the reading states that by utilizing traditional breeding methods unlike using genetic methods such as maize and squash, people will accept it more willingly. On the contrary, the listening refutes what the reading suggests. Consumers will doubt the method because the same company apply genetic modification on other vegetables, it may lead to distrust of consumers. Last but not least, the reading proposes that broccoli contains nutrition that is necessary for human beings. Growing broccoli on the east coast will have more nutrition because transporting from the west will eliminate the nutrition due to the long distance. The listening disagrees with what the reading says because other plants grow locally also contains the same nutrition. As well as the nutrition they contain, they can grow in summer and fall or winter. There is no need to introduce a new plant.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading and listening passages discuss the feasibility of growing broccoli on the East Coast of the United States. While the reading presents three arguments in favor of this idea, the listening challenges each point, suggesting that it may not be as practical as it seems.

Firstly, the reading claims that growing and selling broccoli locally would save on transportation costs, making it more affordable for consumers. However, the listening counters this argument by pointing out that although transportation costs may be reduced, the yield of broccoli grown on the East Coast would be lower. This would result in a higher price for the produce, effectively canceling out any savings from reduced transportation expenses.

Secondly, the reading asserts that since traditional breeding techniques are being used to create this new type of broccoli, consumers will be more accepting of it compared to genetically modified crops like maize and squash. The listening disputes this claim by highlighting that consumer trust may still be an issue due to financial support for this research coming from companies with a history of creating genetically modified crops. This association could lead to skepticism and rejection of the new broccoli variety.

Lastly, while the reading argues that locally grown broccoli would retain more nutrients and vitamins due to shorter transportation times, making it healthier for East Coast residents, the listening disagrees. It points out that other vegetables already grown on the East Coast contain similar nutrients as broccoli. For example, kale provides comparable health benefits and can be grown not only during summer but also in fall and winter. Instead of investing resources into developing new vegetables like this proposed broccoli variety, efforts should focus on educating people about consuming fresh, healthy vegetables already available locally. (293 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改

Both the reading and the listening discuss whether it is practical to grow Broccoli on the east coast the practicality of growing broccoli on the East Coast of America. The reading proposes presents three ideas to arguments in support his of this idea, but the listening thinks that none of the reasons is convincing. ¶ First of all, challenges each point, suggesting that it may not be as convincing as it seems.

Firstly, although the reading essay deems claims that growing broccoli on the sell and selling broccoli locally would save on transportation costs and make it locally will save the transportation cost. Due to the long distance and transportation, the cost of the item is high. The cost will be saved if the vegetable is grown in the east coast, thus, people are willing to buy it. However, what the reading agrees is doubted by the listening because more affordable for consumers, the listening casts doubt on this argument. It points out that even if the price is cheaper, transportation costs are reduced, the yield of the broccoli in the east is broccoli grown on the East Coast would be lower, resulting in a higher price. In the end, the price of broccoli will for the produce. This would effectively cancel off the out any savings in the transportation fee, suggesting that it is an unpractical method. ¶ In addition, from reduced transportation expenses.

Secondly, while the reading states that by utilizing using traditional breeding methods unlike using genetic methods such as maize and squash, people will accept it more willingly. On the contrary, the listening refutes what the reading suggests. Consumers will doubt the method because the same company apply instead of genetic modification on other vegetables, it like maize and squash would make people more accepting of this new type of broccoli, the listening refutes this claim. It highlights that consumer trust may still be an issue because companies involved in developing this new variety have a history of creating genetically modified crops. This association could lead to distrust of consumers. ¶ Last but not least, the reading proposes that broccoli contains nutrition that is necessary for human beings. Growing broccoli on the east coast will have skepticism and rejection of the new broccoli variety.

Lastly, although the reading argues that locally grown broccoli would retain more nutrition because transporting from the west will eliminate the nutrition nutrients due to the long distance. The listening disagrees with what the reading says because shorter transportation times and thus be healthier for East Coast residents, the listening disagrees. It points out that other plants grow locally vegetables already grown on the East Coast contain similar nutrients as broccoli. For example, kale provides comparable health benefits and can be grown not only during summer but also contains the same nutrition. As well as the nutrition they contain, they can grow in summer and in fall or and winter. There is no need to introduce a new plant.Instead of investing resources into developing new vegetables like this proposed broccoli variety, efforts should focus on educating people about consuming fresh, healthy vegetables already available locally.

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8. Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Reading and listening passages
   • Feasibility of growing broccoli on the East Coast

2. Transportation Costs

   • Reading: Save on transportation costs, more affordable for consumers
   • Listening: Lower yield, higher price cancels out savings

3. Consumer Acceptance

   • Reading: Traditional breeding techniques, more acceptance compared to GMOs
   • Listening: Financial support from GMO companies, skepticism and rejection possible

4. Nutritional Benefits

   • Reading: Locally grown broccoli retains more nutrients, healthier for residents
   • Listening: Other vegetables like kale already provide similar benefits, focus on education instead

9. Keywords

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 4

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay effectively summarizes the points made in the lecture and explains how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed explanations of the lecturer's arguments. To enhance task fulfillment, consider elaborating on each point by including more information from the lecture.

Example 1: Original sentence: "But in contrast, the professor refutes it by argues that while local cultivation may save on transportation costs, the lower yields of the new broccoli breed may necessitate higher selling prices, thereby negating any savings for consumers." Improved sentence: "But in contrast, the professor refutes it by arguing that although local cultivation may save on transportation costs, due to lower yields of this new broccoli breed compared to West Coast varieties, East Coast farmers will have to sell their produce at higher prices to compensate for smaller harvests. This price increase will cancel out any savings from reduced transportation costs, leaving consumers with no financial benefit."

Example 2: Original sentence: "However, the lecturer disagrees by suggesting that despite the use of traditional breeding techniques, public distrust towards the companies funding the research..." Improved sentence: "However, the lecturer disagrees by pointing out that even though traditional breeding techniques are being used for this new broccoli variety, public distrust towards companies funding this research project remains high due to their past involvement with genetically modified crops. This association could lead consumers to reject this new broccoli variety despite its non-GMO nature."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point from both reading and listening passages, and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Example 1: Original sentence: "Firstly, the passage states that creating a new type of broccoli can lower costs for consumers due to reduced transportation costs." Improved sentence: "Firstly, while the passage states that creating a new type of broccoli can lower costs for consumers due to reduced transportation costs, the lecturer presents a different perspective."

Example 2: Original sentence: "In addition, the passage suggested the use of traditional breeding techniques which are less controversial than genetic modification." Improved sentence: "In addition, although the passage suggested that using traditional breeding techniques would make this new broccoli variety more acceptable to consumers compared to genetically modified crops, the lecturer casts doubt on this assumption."

5. Grammar

The reading passage discusses the three potential benefits of creating a new type of broccoli that can be grown on the East Coast of the United States, despite the region’s hotter summers. However, the professor opposes these three benefits by suggesting three points.

Firstly, the passage states that creating newa new(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) type of broccoli can lower costs for consumers due to reduced transportation costs. But in contrast, the professor refutes it by argues that while local cultivation may save on transportation costs, the lower yields of the new broccoli breed may necessitate higher selling prices, thereby negating any savings for consumers.

In addition, the passage suggested the use of traditional breeding techniquestechniques,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which are less controversial than genetic modification. However, the lecturer disagrees by suggesting that despite the use of traditional breeding techniques, public distrust towards the companies funding the research, due to their past involvement in genetic modification, may lead to the new broccoli being rejected.

Lastly, the passage states the importance of nutrients and vitamins contains in vegetables. But the lecturer questions the necessity of creating a new vegetable breed for nutritional value. He proposes that educating people about existing locally grown vegetables, such as kale, which offer similar health benefits and have a longer growing season, would be a more efficient use of resources.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading passage discusses the three potential benefits of creating a new type of broccoli that can be grown on the East Coast of the United States, despite the region’s hotter summers. However, the professor opposes these three benefits by suggesting three points.

Firstly, the passage states that creating new type of broccoli can lower costs for consumers due to reduced transportation costs. But in contrast, the professor refutes it by argues that while local cultivation may save on transportation costs, the lower yields of the new broccoli breed may necessitate higher selling prices, thereby negating any savings for consumers.

In addition, the passage suggested the use of traditional breeding techniques which are less controversial than genetic modification. However, the lecturer disagrees by suggesting that despite the use of traditional breeding techniques, public distrust towards the companies funding the research, due to their past involvement in genetic modification, may lead to the new broccoli being rejected.

Lastly, the passage states the importance of nutrients and vitamins contains in vegetables. But the lecturer questions the necessity of creating a new vegetable breed for nutritional value. He proposes that educating people about existing locally grown vegetables, such as kale, which offer similar health benefits and have a longer growing season, would be a more efficient use of resources. (221 words)

Section Title: 7. Essay Grading

The reading passage discusses the three potential benefits of creating a new type of broccoli that can be grown on the East Coast of the United States, despite the region’s hotter summers. However, the professor opposes these three benefits by suggesting three points.

Firstly, the passage states that creating a new type of broccoli can lower costs for consumers due to reduced transportation costs. But in contrast, the professor refutes it by argues this by arguing (changed "it by argues" to "this by arguing" for grammatical correctness and clarity) that while local cultivation may save on transportation costs, the lower yields of the new broccoli breed may necessitate higher selling prices, thereby negating any savings for consumers.

In addition, the passage suggested suggests (changed "suggested" to "suggests" for consistency in verb tense) the use of traditional breeding techniques which are less controversial than genetic modification. However, the lecturer disagrees by suggesting that despite the use of traditional breeding techniques, public distrust towards the companies funding the research, due to their past involvement in genetic modification, may lead to the new broccoli being rejected.

Lastly, the passage states the importance of nutrients and vitamins contains contained (changed "contains" to "contained" for grammatical correctness) in vegetables. But the lecturer questions the necessity of creating a new vegetable breed for nutritional value. He proposes that educating people about existing locally grown vegetables, such as kale, which offer similar health benefits and have a longer growing season, would be a more efficient use of resources.

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - New type of broccoli
   - East Coast cultivation
   - Hotter summers

2. Lower costs for consumers
   - Reduced transportation costs (Reading)
   - Lower yields, higher selling prices (Listening)

3. Traditional breeding techniques
   - Less controversial than genetic modification (Reading)
   - Public distrust due to past involvement in genetic modification (Listening)

4. Nutrients and vitamins in vegetables
   - Importance of nutrients in vegetables (Reading)
   - Educating people about existing locally grown vegetables like kale (Listening)

5. Conclusion
   - Professor's opposition to the benefits of new broccoli type

9. Key Words

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 3 组织: 3 连贯性和衔接: 3 语言使用: 2

2.预估分数

20. 3.任务完成度

在文章中，你确实提到了阅读材料和听力材料中的观点。然而，你需要更详细地解释这些观点以及它们是如何挑战阅读材料中的论点的。同时，确保你的回答紧密围绕问题展开。

改进建议：

• 更详细地解释听力材料中的观点。

• 明确说明这些观点是如何挑战阅读材料中的论点的。

示例： Instead of simply stating that the speaker disagrees with the opinions in the passage, you could explain more about why she disagrees and how her points challenge the reading passage's arguments. For example:

"The lecturer challenges the claim that the new broccoli will be cheaper for consumers by explaining that its lower yield will result in a higher price, which would cancel out any savings on transportation costs."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构需要改进。虽然你已经包括了引言、主体和结论，但每个段落都应该专注于一个具体的观点，并提供支持细节。此外，段落之间应该有明确的过渡。

改进建议：

• 确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题句。

• 在段落之间使用过渡词或短语，以提高连贯性。

示例： You could improve the organization of your essay by having a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and using transition words or phrases between paragraphs. For example:

"In the lecture, the professor raises several points that challenge the arguments presented in the reading passage. First, she argues that..." (followed by a detailed explanation of her first point)

"Another point made by the lecturer is that..." (followed by a detailed explanation of her second point)

5. 语法批改

The reading passage introduces that the broccoli in United Statesin the United States(Determiners preceding geographical terms) is mainly growing in the west coast, and it is the reason that the people in the east coast pay more for having the broccoli to counterbalance the transportation fee. And a new broccoli could change the situation, because the new hybridized broccoli could be planted in the east coast, which makes it will cost less, because it is no longer to transport the old type of broccoli from the west coast. Secondly, the new type of broccoli could resist the high temperature. Thirdly, the new type of broccoli could contain more nutrients rather than the old type of broccoli. However, the speaker disagrees with the opinions in the passage. Firstly, she states that the new type of broccoli could have a low yield which results in the high price, even though it is no need to transport from the long distance of the west coastWest Coast(capitalize proper names, geographic terms, historic episodes...). On the other hand, the public could distrust or reject the new type of broccoli, even it is not created by genetic method. Finally, she believes that other vegetables will contain the nutrient the new broccoli could contain, so she thinks it is not necessary to buy the broccoli.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading passage posits that the majority of broccoli consumed in the United States is grown on the West Coast, leading to higher costs for East Coast consumers due to transportation fees. The passage suggests that a new hybridized broccoli could alleviate this issue by being able to grow on the East Coast, reducing transportation costs and providing additional benefits such as heat resistance and increased nutrient content. However, the lecture challenges these claims by presenting several counterarguments.

Firstly, the lecturer contends that although the new type of broccoli may be able to withstand higher temperatures, it could potentially have a lower yield compared to its West Coast counterpart. This would result in higher prices for East Coast consumers despite eliminating long-distance transportation costs. Consequently, there may not be any significant savings for consumers.

Secondly, the speaker highlights potential public distrust or rejection of the new type of broccoli due to its association with companies known for creating genetically modified crops. Even though traditional breeding techniques are used in developing this new variety, consumer skepticism towards these companies might negatively impact their perception of this new broccoli.

Lastly, the lecturer argues that it is unnecessary to invest resources into creating a new type of broccoli specifically for East Coast cultivation when other vegetables already grown in the region contain similar nutrients. For example, kale provides comparable health benefits and can be grown on the East Coast throughout various seasons. Instead of focusing on developing new vegetables, efforts should be directed towards educating people about consuming fresh and healthy locally available produce.

In conclusion, while the reading passage presents potential benefits of a new hybridized broccoli variety for East Coast consumers, the lecture challenges these claims by discussing issues related to lower yields, public distrust, and alternative nutrient-rich vegetables already available in the region. (306 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改

The reading passage introduces that the states that most broccoli in the United States is mainly growing in the west coast, and it is the reason that the people in the east coast grown on the West Coast, which explains why East Coast residents pay more for having the broccoli to counterbalance the it due to transportation fee. And costs. It suggests that a new hybridized broccoli could change the situation, because the new hybridized broccoli could be planted in the east coast, which makes it will cost less, because it is no longer to transport the old type of broccoli from the west coast. Secondly, the new type of broccoli could resist the high temperature. Thirdly, the new type of broccoli could contain more nutrients rather than the old type of broccoli. ¶ this situation by being able to grow on the East Coast, thus reducing transportation costs and offering additional benefits such as heat resistance and higher nutrient content. However, the speaker disagrees with the opinions in the passage. these points and offers several counterarguments.

Firstly, she states that the speaker argues that while the new type of broccoli may be more heat-resistant, it could have a low yield which results lower yield, resulting in the high price, higher prices for East Coast consumers even without long-distance transportation costs (reason: clarifying potential issue with new broccoli variety). This means there might not be any significant savings for consumers.

Secondly, the speaker points out that public distrust or rejection of the new type of broccoli might occur due to its association with companies known for creating genetically modified crops (reason: addressing potential consumer concerns). Even though this new variety is developed using traditional breeding techniques, consumer skepticism towards these companies could negatively impact their perception of this new broccoli.

Lastly, the speaker believes that it is no need to transport from the long distance of the west coast. On the other hand, the public could distrust or reject the unnecessary to invest resources into creating a new type of broccoli, even it is not created by genetic method. Finally, she believes that broccoli specifically for East Coast cultivation when other vegetables will already grown in the region contain the nutrient the new broccoli could contain, so she thinks it is not necessary to buy the broccoli.similar nutrients (reason: presenting alternative options). For instance, kale provides comparable health benefits and can be grown on the East Coast throughout various seasons. Instead of focusing on developing new vegetables, efforts should be directed towards educating people about consuming fresh and healthy locally available produce.

In conclusion, while the reading passage presents potential benefits of a new hybridized broccoli variety for East Coast consumers, the lecture challenges these claims by discussing issues related to lower yields, public distrust, and alternative nutrient-rich vegetables already available in the region.

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
  - Reading passage: New hybridized broccoli for East Coast
  - Lecture: Challenges these claims

- Point 1: Lower yield
  - Reading passage: New broccoli can grow on East Coast
  - Lecture: Potentially lower yield, higher prices for consumers

- Point 2: Public distrust/rejection
  - Reading passage: Traditional breeding techniques used
  - Lecture: Association with GMO companies, consumer skepticism

- Point 3: Alternative nutrient-rich vegetables available
  - Reading passage: Increased nutrient content in new broccoli
  - Lecture: Kale and other vegetables already grown on East Coast, focus on education instead of development

- Conclusion:
  - Reading passage vs. lecture counterarguments 

9. Keywords