TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Some people believe that a person needs a college education in order to have a successful career. Others believe that a college education is not necessary for success. Which point of view do you agree with? Explain why.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度: 3

• 文章结构与组织: 3

• 连贯性与衔接: 3

• 语言运用: 2

2.预估分数

• 总分: 20

3.任务完成度 虽然文章提到了学习多种技能的好处，但并没有明确回答题目中的问题，即是否需要大学教育来取得成功。建议在开头部分明确表达自己的观点，并在正文中用具体例子支持这一观点。同时，注意使用恰当的词汇和表达方式。

示例1: 原文：in this day and age,the issue regarding people should develop many different skills or not has never failed to arouse the public concern and at the same time provoke a heated debate among individuals. 修改后：In today's society, there is an ongoing debate about whether a college education is necessary for a successful career or not.

示例2: 原文：Some are inclined to be strong believers in the extreme claim that people should focus on one skill only，but it can hardly bear closer analysis. 修改后：Some people strongly believe that a college education is essential for success, while others argue that it is not necessary.

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面需要改进。首先，在引言部分应明确表达自己对问题的看法；其次，在正文部分应使用具体例子支持自己的观点；最后，在结论部分总结全文。另外，注意使用恰当的过渡词和短语使文章更连贯。

示例1: 原文：in this day and age,the issue regarding people should develop many different skills or not has never failed to arouse the public concern and at the same time provoke a heated debate among individuals. 修改后：In today's society, there is an ongoing debate about whether a college education is necessary for a successful career or not. I believe that a college education is not always essential for success.

示例2: 原文：Firstly, people who developed many skills can live a life with more choices. 修改后：One reason why I believe that a college education is not always necessary for success is that having various skills can provide more opportunities in life.

5. 语法批改

inIn(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) this day and age,the, the(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) issue regarding people should develop many different skills or not has never failed to arouse the public concern and at the same time provoke a heated debate among individuals. Some are inclined to be strong believers in the extreme claim that people should focus on one skill only，but[No Replacement Word Found](misspelling) it can hardly bear closer analysis. Accordingly, I, without hesitaitonhesitation(misspelling), advocate that people should develop many different skills on account of the following evident reasons and examples. Firstly, people who developed many skills can live a life with more choices. To be more specific, people may encounter many unexpected chances, which might change their lives ifif you(if (we/they/you) need something) can embrace the opportunities. However, only those with many different skills can face that situation deliberately in steadinstead(Hyphenated words: in stead) of panicking and being anxious due to lack of the abilities to hold the chance. The point can be furtherfurthered(must be do (done)) and better supported by the example from one fofor(misspelling) my friends who getsget(Agreement of relative pronoun 'who' and verb) great academic scores as well as a well-develpedwell-heeled(misspelling) drawing skills. At first, he works in a company as a computer programmer. Glaring at the computer day and night, he gained nothing but exhaustion and agony. However, one day he meet aan(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') art company manager who appreciate his painting skills a lot and offer him a job as traveling painter. So he quitequit(Detects potentially wrong usage of "quite" instead of "quit") his former job without hesitation and embrace the chance. It was his different skills that made him a distinguished painter who earns a considerable income and enjoys his life. Obviously, this example may inform us that different skills offer people more choices in their lives. Besides, people who develop many different skills can live a more colorful life. Precisely, (Two consecutive spaces)different from those who concentrate on one thing, they have more flexible life stylelifestyle(life style (lifestyle)). For instance, I got a friend who can play guitar well and play great basketball at the same time. Due to his different skills, he could choocechoice(misspelling) either play with his band for a concert or get a pleasuring basketball battle with his team, which makes his free time wonderful and meaningful. Apparently, we can learn from the example that different skills bright people's life. Considering all the reasons and examples mentioned above, we can safely come to the conclusion that people who develop many different skills can live a more successful life, which should be definitely attributed to the two main points that different skills bring options as well as colorful life.

6.文章修订

In today's society, there is an ongoing debate about whether a college education is necessary for a successful career or not. I believe that a college education is not always essential for success, as having various skills can provide more opportunities and lead to a more fulfilling life.

One reason why I believe that a college education is not always necessary for success is that having various skills can provide more opportunities in life. For instance, people may encounter unexpected chances which might change their lives if they can embrace these opportunities. However, only those with diverse skills can face such situations confidently instead of panicking and being anxious due to the lack of abilities to seize the chance. This point can be further supported by the example of one of my friends who excels academically and has well-developed drawing skills. Initially, he worked as a computer programmer in a company where he spent long hours staring at the computer screen, which led to exhaustion and dissatisfaction. However, one day he met an art company manager who appreciated his painting skills and offered him a job as a traveling painter. He seized this opportunity without hesitation, which eventually made him a distinguished painter who earns a considerable income and enjoys his life.

Another reason supporting my viewpoint is that people who develop various skills can live a more colorful life compared to those who concentrate on just one area of expertise. They have more flexibility in their lifestyle choices and can engage in different activities during their leisure time. For example, I have a friend who plays guitar well and excels at basketball simultaneously. Due to his diverse skills, he has the option to either perform with his band at concerts or participate in exhilarating basketball games with his team, making his free time enjoyable and meaningful.

Moreover, it is important to note that many successful individuals did not rely solely on their college education for their achievements but rather on their determination, hard work, and adaptability in various fields. Some notable examples include Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg, who all dropped out of college to pursue their passions and ultimately built successful businesses.

In conclusion, while a college education can be beneficial for some individuals, it is not the only pathway to success. Developing various skills and being adaptable in different situations can provide more opportunities and lead to a more fulfilling life. As demonstrated by the examples mentioned above, having diverse skills can offer more choices in one's career and personal life, ultimately contributing to a successful and satisfying existence. (435 words)

in this day and age,the issue regarding people should develop many different skills 7.文章批改

In today's society, there is an ongoing debate about whether a college education is necessary for a successful career or not. (Revised for clarity and to directly address the prompt) I believe that a college education is not has never failed to arouse the public concern and at the same time provoke a heated debate among individuals. always essential for success, as having various skills can provide more opportunities and lead to a more fulfilling life. (Revised to clearly state the writer's position)

Some are inclined to be strong believers in the extreme claim One reason why I believe that people should focus on one skill only，but it can hardly bear closer analysis. Accordingly, I, without hesitaiton, advocate a college education is not always necessary for success is that people should develop many different skills on account of the following evident reasons and examples. ¶ Firstly, people who developed many skills can live a life with more choices. To be more specific, having various skills can provide more opportunities in life. (Revised for clarity and coherence) For instance, people may encounter many unexpected chances, chances which might change their lives if they can embrace the these opportunities. However, only those with many different diverse skills can face that situation deliberately in stead such situations confidently instead of panicking and being anxious due to the lack of the abilities to hold seize the chance. The (Revised for grammar and vocabulary) This point can be further and better supported by the example from of one fo of my friends who gets great academic scores as well as a well-develped excels academically and has well-developed drawing skills. At first, (Revised for grammar) Initially, he works worked as a computer programmer in a company as a where he spent long hours staring at the computer programmer. Glaring at the computer day and night, he gained nothing but screen, which led to exhaustion and agony. dissatisfaction. However, one day he meet a met an art company manager who appreciate appreciated his painting skills a lot and offer and offered him a job as a traveling painter. So he quite his former job He seized this opportunity without hesitation and embrace the chance. It was his different skills that hesitation, which eventually made him a distinguished painter who earns a considerable income and enjoys his life. Obviously, this example may inform us (Revised for grammar and sentence structure)

Another reason supporting my viewpoint is that different skills offer people more choices in their lives. ¶ Besides, people who develop many different various skills can live a more colorful life. Precisely, different from life compared to those who concentrate on just one thing, they area of expertise. They have more flexible life style. flexibility in their lifestyle choices and can engage in different activities during their leisure time. (Revised for clarity and coherence) For instance, example, I got have a friend who can play plays guitar well and play great excels at basketball at the same time. simultaneously. Due to his different diverse skills, he could chooce has the option to either play perform with his band for a concert at concerts or get a pleasuring participate in exhilarating basketball battle games with his team, which makes making his free time wonderful enjoyable and meaningful. Apparently, we can learn from the example (Revised for grammar and vocabulary)

Moreover, it is important to note that many successful individuals did not rely solely on their college education for their achievements but rather on their determination, hard work, and adaptability in various fields. (Revised for clarity) Some notable examples include Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg, who all dropped out of college to pursue their passions and ultimately built successful businesses. (Revised for grammar)

In conclusion, while a college education can be beneficial for some individuals, it is not the only pathway to success. Developing various skills and being adaptable in different skills bright people's situations can provide more opportunities and lead to a more fulfilling life. ¶ Considering all the reasons and (Revised for clarity) As demonstrated by the examples mentioned above, we can safely come to the conclusion that people who develop many different skills can live a more having diverse skills can offer more choices in one's career and personal life, ultimately contributing to a successful life, which should be definitely attributed to the two main points that different skills bring options as well as colorful life.and satisfying existence. (Revised for coherence)

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: College education is not always essential for success.

  • Topic sentence 1: Various skills provide more opportunities in life.
    • Sub-topic: Unexpected chances
    • Supporting example: Friend with academic and drawing skills
  • Topic sentence 2: Developing various skills leads to a more colorful life.
    • Sub-topic: Flexibility in lifestyle choices
    • Supporting example: Friend who plays guitar and basketball
  • Topic sentence 3: Many successful individuals did not rely solely on college education.
    • Sub-topic: Determination, hard work, and adaptability
    • Supporting example: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg

• Conclusion: Developing various skills and being adaptable can lead to a more fulfilling life.

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Learning multiple languages can open doors to international job opportunities and allow for better communication with people from diverse backgrounds.

2. Having skills in both technical and creative fields can make an individual more marketable in the job market, as they can adapt to various roles within a company.

3. Self-taught individuals who have honed their skills through online courses, workshops, or internships may be just as successful as those with a college degree in their chosen field.

4. Networking and building strong connections with professionals in various industries can lead to job opportunities that may not require a college education.

5. Developing problem-solving and critical thinking skills can be invaluable in any career, regardless of whether one has a college degree or not.