TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Prepare a 1-2 page cover letter to submit with your proposal to the potential supervisor. The letter should clearly indicate: proposed field of study motivation for applying to study with supervisor (i.e. what previous research has the supervisor done that is particularly interesting to you and relevant to your own line of study); information about your academic background, including graduating institutions and GPA (for both BA and MA degrees), academic transcripts, research experience which could include a research paper or dissertation; and reasons for studying in Hong Kong and at the Hong Kong Polytechnic University

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 4 连贯与衔接: 4 语言使用: 4

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

总体来说，您的文章在任务完成度方面表现良好。您成功地提到了拟议的研究领域、申请原因、学术背景以及选择香港和香港理工大学的原因。然而，为了更好地满足任务要求，您可以更详细地讨论与导师潜在合作的具体研究方向和方法。此外，尝试在文中更明确地提到您对导师之前研究的兴趣。

改进示例1: 我对您关于跨文化沟通中语言态度的研究非常感兴趣，特别是您如何探讨不同文化背景下人们对英语口音的看法。我希望能与您合作，将这一研究扩展到其他亚洲国家和地区。

改进示例2: 在阅读了您关于香港英语变体态度的文章后，我想进一步探讨这些观点如何影响跨文化交流中的误解和偏见。我相信，在您的指导下，我们可以共同为这一领域的研究做出重要贡献。

4.文章结构与组织 您的文章结构和组织方面表现良好，包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论了一个特定的观点，并提供了支持细节。然而，为了提高文章的连贯性和衔接性，请注意在段落之间使用更清晰的过渡词或短语。

改进示例1: 在我本科阶段，我对“高语境和低语境文化”的概念产生了浓厚兴趣（在此之前，您可以加入一个过渡词，如“此外”或“因此”），并以此为基础完成了我的毕业论文。

改进示例2: 除了我对跨文化研究的兴趣之外（在这里加入一个过渡词，如“然而”或“另一方面”），您在该领域的研究成果也让我非常着迷。

5. 语法批改

Dear Prof. Hans J Ladegaard: I am writing to apply for your Ph.DPh.D.(abbreviation of 'philosophiae doctor' (PhD)) position on the graduate programmeprogram(misspelling) of “Intercultural Studies” at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University. This opportunity appears to be a wonderful fit with my professional experience, personal academic interests, and career goals. I received my bachelor’s and master’s degrees both from Shandong University(a 211/985 Project University in China), majoring in English and English Translation respectively. To be more specific, I was directly recommended to pursue the two degrees because of excellent academic performances. Upon graduation, I have maintained a 3.7+ GPA (88.4/100) as an undergraduate and a 3.7+ GPA (87.8/100) as a master. I was extremely impressed with “language and culture” section in studying linguistics, especially concerning “High-context and Low-context cultures”, and my undergraduate thesis, recognized as Excellent-level, (Two consecutive spaces)was accordingly based on the topic. But unfortunately, I had no idea that those concepts were a part of intercultural communication studies. After graduation in 2016, I worked as a college teacher in a university. And the fall semester in the year 2017 had witnessed my initial encounter with intercultural communication. From then on, I began to deliver “intercultural communication” lectures to undergraduates for 6 rounds. Deep interests in intercultural studies were also aroused from the teaching experienceexperience,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) and I had been genuinely regretful for not being taught the course as a student. It is not too exaggerated to say that, intercultural studies, such as stereotypes, ethnocentrism, language attitudes and Loose-Tight cultures, have substantially reshaped my Worldview. This enthusiasm drives me to have engaged in two research programs, a provincial-level and a university-level, associated to intercultural studies and three articles have also been successfully published( ((Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses)written in Chinese) in several Chinese journals. Besides, I also attended some training programs to enhance my intercultural competence. To date, my experience as a lecturer in teaching intercultural communication has been extremely rewarding and productive. However, I want to be an intercultural communicator myself. That also partially explains why II am(He scary (He is scary)) eager to study at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University, where students with diverse cultural backgrounds interact with each other. In addition to my academic interest, your research in intercultural studies is a huge appealing to me. You are such a highly-accomplished researcherresearcher,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) specializing in a wide range of topics in intercultural communication studies. And I coincidentally read your article published recently on attitudes towards varieties of Hong Kong English, which mentions the convenience for researchers to use students as their source of statistics, but that also limits the potential problem within only one segment of society. Beginner as I am, I also raise similar concerns, trying to include more nationalities and social classes into the studies. Provided that I could be supervised by you, I could not imagine what amazing benefits would be yielded in my research! I believe my love and enthusiasm in intercultural communication will make me a good match for a Ph.DPh.D.(abbreviation of 'philosophiae doctor' (PhD)) position in your program. I would appreciate a lot if an opportunity could be offered to me to apply for the position. Thank you very much for considering my applicationapplication,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Wang SuhanSudan(misspelling), Ph.DPh.D.(abbreviation of 'philosophiae doctor' (PhD)) candidate

6.文章修订

Dear Prof. Hans J Ladegaard,

I am writing to apply for the Ph.D. position in the graduate program of "Intercultural Studies" at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University. This opportunity appears to be an excellent fit with my professional experience, personal academic interests, and career goals.

To provide some background, I received both my bachelor's and master's degrees from Shandong University (a 211/985 Project University in China), majoring in English and English Translation, respectively. I was directly recommended for these degrees due to my outstanding academic performance, maintaining a 3.7+ GPA (88.4/100) as an undergraduate and a 3.7+ GPA (87.8/100) as a master's student. During my studies, I became fascinated with the "language and culture" section of linguistics, particularly the concepts of "High-context and Low-context cultures." Consequently, I based my undergraduate thesis on this topic and was recognized with an Excellent-level distinction.

After graduating in 2016, I began working as a college teacher at a university where I first encountered intercultural communication during the fall semester of 2017. Since then, I have delivered six rounds of "intercultural communication" lectures to undergraduates. This teaching experience has not only deepened my interest in intercultural studies but also made me genuinely regretful that I had not been exposed to such courses earlier in my education.

My enthusiasm for intercultural communication has driven me to engage in two research programs related to this field – one at the provincial level and another at the university level – resulting in three articles published in Chinese journals. Additionally, I have attended training programs to enhance my intercultural competence.

While my experience as a lecturer has been rewarding and productive thus far, I aspire to become an intercultural communicator myself. This aspiration partially explains my eagerness to study at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University, where students from diverse cultural backgrounds interact with each other. Furthermore, your research in intercultural studies is highly appealing to me. As a renowned researcher specializing in various topics within intercultural communication studies, I was particularly intrigued by your recent article on attitudes towards varieties of Hong Kong English. You mentioned the convenience of using students as a source of statistics for researchers but also acknowledged the limitation of only representing one segment of society. As a beginner in this field, I share similar concerns and strive to include more nationalities and social classes in my studies. I believe that being supervised by you would yield incredible benefits for my research.

In conclusion, I am confident that my passion and enthusiasm for intercultural communication make me an ideal candidate for the Ph.D. position in your program. I would be immensely grateful if given the opportunity to apply for this position and contribute to the field under your guidance.

Thank you very much for considering my application, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely, Wang Suhan, Ph.D. candidate (478 words)

7.文章批改

Dear Prof. Hans J Ladegaard: Ladegaard,

I am writing to apply for your Ph.D the Ph.D. position on in the graduate programme of “Intercultural Studies” program of "Intercultural Studies" at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University. This opportunity appears to be a wonderful an excellent fit with my professional experience, personal academic interests, and career goals. ¶ (Changed "wonderful" to "excellent" for a more formal tone)

To provide some background, I received my bachelor’s and master’s both my bachelor's and master's degrees both from Shandong UniversityUniversity (a 211/985 Project University in China), majoring in English and English Translation Translation, respectively. To be more specific, I was directly recommended to pursue the two for these degrees because of excellent due to my outstanding academic performances. Upon graduation, I have maintained performance, maintaining a 3.7+ GPA (88.4/100) as an undergraduate and a 3.7+ GPA (87.8/100) as a master. I master's student. During my studies, I became fascinated with the "language and culture" section of linguistics, particularly the concepts of "High-context and Low-context cultures." Consequently, I based my undergraduate thesis on this topic and was extremely impressed recognized with “language and culture” section in studying linguistics, especially concerning “High-context and Low-context cultures”, and my undergraduate thesis, recognized as Excellent-level, was accordingly based on the topic. But unfortunately, I had no idea that those concepts were a part of intercultural communication studies. an Excellent-level distinction.

After graduation graduating in 2016, I worked began working as a college teacher in a university. And at a university where I first encountered intercultural communication during the fall semester in the year 2017 had witnessed my initial encounter with intercultural communication. From then on, I began to deliver “intercultural communication” of 2017. Since then, I have delivered six rounds of "intercultural communication" lectures to undergraduates for 6 rounds. Deep interests in intercultural studies were also aroused from the undergraduates. This teaching experience and I had been has not only deepened my interest in intercultural studies but also made me genuinely regretful for that I had not being taught the course as a student. It is not too exaggerated to say that, intercultural studies, been exposed to such as stereotypes, ethnocentrism, language attitudes and Loose-Tight cultures, have substantially reshaped my Worldview. This courses earlier in my education.

My enthusiasm drives for intercultural communication has driven me to have engaged engage in two research programs, a provincial-level and a university-level, associated to intercultural studies and programs related to this field – one at the provincial level and another at the university level – resulting in three articles have also been successfully published( written in Chinese) in several published in Chinese journals. Besides, I also Additionally, I have attended some training programs to enhance my intercultural competence.

To date, While my experience as a lecturer in teaching intercultural communication has been extremely rewarding and productive. However, I want to be productive thus far, I aspire to become an intercultural communicator myself. That also This aspiration partially explains why I eager my eagerness to study at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University, where students with from diverse cultural backgrounds interact with each other. In addition to my academic interest, Furthermore, your research in intercultural studies is a huge highly appealing to me. You are such a highly-accomplished As a renowned researcher specializing in a wide range of various topics in within intercultural communication studies. And I coincidentally read studies, I was particularly intrigued by your recent article published recently on attitudes towards varieties of Hong Kong English, which mentions English. You mentioned the convenience for researchers to use of using students as their a source of statistics, statistics for researchers but that also limits the potential problem within acknowledged the limitation of only representing one segment of society. Beginner as I am, I also raise As a beginner in this field, I share similar concerns, trying concerns and strive to include more nationalities and social classes into the in my studies. Provided I believe that I could be being supervised by you, I could not imagine what amazing you would yield incredible benefits for my research.

In conclusion, I am confident that my passion and enthusiasm for intercultural communication make me an ideal candidate for the Ph.D. position in your program. I would be yielded in my research! ¶ I believe my love and enthusiasm in intercultural communication will make me a good match for a Ph.D immensely grateful if given the opportunity to apply for this position in and contribute to the field under your program. I would appreciate a lot if an opportunity could be offered to me to apply for the position. guidance.

Thank you very much for considering my application application, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Wang Suhan, Ph.D candidatePh.D. candidate

(Revised words/phrases are explained inline with the text)

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Applying for a Ph.D. position in Intercultural Studies at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University
  • Topic sentence 1: Academic background and achievements
    • Sub-topic: Bachelor's and master's degrees from Shandong University
    • Supporting example: Excellent-level undergraduate thesis on High-context and Low-context cultures
  • Topic sentence 2: Teaching experience and research interests
    • Sub-topic: Lecturer in intercultural communication
    • Supporting example: Participation in provincial and university-level research programs, published articles in Chinese journals
  • Topic sentence 3: Motivation for studying at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University
    • Sub-topic: Desire to become an intercultural communicator
    • Supporting example: Diverse cultural backgrounds of students at the university
  • Topic sentence 4: Interest in supervisor's research and potential collaboration
    • Sub-topic: Prof. Hans J Ladegaard's research on attitudes towards varieties of Hong Kong English
    • Supporting example: Shared concerns about including more nationalities and social classes in studies

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Studying at The Hong Kong Polytechnic University would allow me to explore the impact of cultural differences on business negotiations, focusing on how communication styles vary across cultures.

2. Under your supervision, I could investigate the role of nonverbal communication in intercultural interactions, examining how gestures and body language can lead to misunderstandings between people from different cultural backgrounds.

3. I am interested in researching language barriers faced by immigrants and refugees, and how these challenges affect their integration into new societies.

4. As a Ph.D. candidate, I would like to examine the influence of social media on cross-cultural communication, particularly how it can both facilitate and hinder understanding between people from different cultures.

5. In collaboration with you, I would like to explore strategies for improving intercultural competence among educators and students in multicultural learning environments.