TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Please write a research proposal on "intergroup contact"

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：4 连贯与衔接：4 语言使用：4

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章对于研究提案的主题“跨群体接触”进行了较为详细的阐述。然而，有一些方面仍有改进的空间。首先，在引言部分，建议更明确地阐述研究目的和意义。其次，在论述不同类型的跨群体接触时，可以更具体地说明这些类型在实际情况中如何发生以及它们之间的差异。最后，在研究问题部分，可以尝试将问题更加具体化，并考虑如何通过数据收集和分析来回答这些问题。

Example 1: Original: "This study seeks to utilize an discourse analysis method to delve into the intergroup contact mechanism based on international students’ evolving perceptions before and after coming to Hong Kong from the intercultural studies perspective." Suggestion: "The purpose of this research proposal is to investigate the intergroup contact mechanism among international students in Hong Kong, focusing on their evolving perceptions of Chinese culture and people before and after their arrival, using discourse analysis as the primary research method."

Example 2: Original: "Question 1: What were participants’ varied perceptions of Chinese culture and Chinese people before their arrival and how were those perceptions formulated(conditions, sources of information and types)?" Suggestion: "Research Question 1: How did international students perceive Chinese culture and people before arriving in Hong Kong, and what factors (e.g., sources of information, types of contact) influenced the formation of these perceptions?"

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面表现较好，包括引言、文献综述、研究目标和问题等部分。然而，可以进一步改进。首先，在引言部分，建议更明确地概述研究的背景和目的。其次，在文献综述部分，可以尝试将不同主题之间的联系更加明确地呈现出来。最后，在研究问题部分，建议将问题按照逻辑顺序排列，并在每个问题之间保持衔接。

Example 1: Original: "Intergroup contact with another culture involves pre-arrival contact and post-arrival contact stages, which is in line with the enculturation and acculturation processes." Suggestion: "The process of intergroup contact between different cultures can be divided into two stages: pre-arrival contact and post-arrival contact, which correspond to the concepts of enculturation and acculturation in intercultural studies."

Example 2: Original: "Relevant researches concerning intergroup contact are also carried out in Hong Kong, covering the topics of attitudes, reducing bias, friendship, intergenerational contact, tourist-host social contact..." Suggestion: "Previous studies on intergroup contact in Hong Kong have focused on various aspects such as attitudes towards other cultures, reducing bias and stereotypes, building friendships across cultural boundaries, intergenerational interactions, and social contacts between tourists and hosts. However, these studies have not comprehensively examined the pre-arrival and post-arrival contact experiences of international students."

5. 语法批改

Pre-arrival Contact and Post-arrival Contact Process Intergroup contact with another culture involves pre-arrival contact and post-arrival contact stages, which is in line with the enculturation and acculturation processes. The former, enculturation, also called socialization, is a process where one learns one’s community, one’s gender and one’s generational place in life. To be more specific, one learns to be a member largely through naturally occurring, non-institutional forms of learning(ScollonColon(misspelling) & ScollonColon(misspelling), 2001:149) before contact with other cultures. Acculturation, a term anthropologists and sociologists have used to talk about situations in which two different cultural or social groups come into contact. During the process of acculturation, fourfor(Detects potentially wrong usage of "four" instead of "for") adaptation strategies are identified by Berry( ((Missing whitespace before a parenthesis)1992, 2005): (a) integration, (b) assimilation, (c) separation, and (d) marginalization. The integration strategy involves the interest in both maintaining the original culture and interacting with members in the mainstream society. Assimilation occurs when individuals adopt the cultural norms of a dominant or host culture, over their original culture. The separation strategy includes the preservation of individuals’ original culture and the unwillingness to contact host society and culture. Integration occurs when individuals are able to adopt the cultural norms of the dominant or host culture while retaining the original national culture. The marginalization strategy refers to the failure to maintain their original culture and at the same time inability to integrate into the new society. Adoption of different acculturation strategy indicates international students’ exposure, willingness and adaptation to Chinese culture are diverse from individual to individual, which affects their cognition and acceptance of Chinese culture. Types of Intergroup Contact KormosForms(misspelling) and CsizérSizer(misspelling) (2007) conducted several interviewsinterviews,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) revealing that two major types of inter-personalinterpersonal(Hyphenated words: inter-personal) contact were differentiated in a foreign language environment: direct contact and indirect contact. Direct contact involves verbal interaction (either spoken or written) with native and non-native speakers of the target language. By contrast, indirect contact is associated with indirect interpersonal contact and indirect cultural artifacts contact. To elaborate, indirect interpersonal contact relates to the situation where students only see the target language speakers without talking to them or are told about the people and culture by an ‘‘influential other’’ like their parents, teacher, siblings. Indirect artifacts contact involves encounters with cultural artifacts of another culture through various media, such as TV, Internet, books, movies, magazines and newspapers. Based on previous researches, this study divides the types of other cultural groups' contact with Chinese culture into two categories: direct contact and indirect contact. Direct contact is equivalent to objective cognition through personal experience, and indirect contact is equivalent to virtual cognition. Sources of Information of Intergroup Contact At present, some surveys, mainly conducted in developed countries, have been carried out to make clear of the sources of information of Chinese culture. Some studies focus on a specific country to collect information. GuanGun(misspelling) ShijieShine(misspelling)( ((Missing whitespace before a parenthesis)2012) investigated the main information sources of American people's understanding of China. The results showed that the three channels of contact were American media (84.3 %), Chinese people in the United States ( ((Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses)32.6 % ))(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) and Chinese restaurants (30.8 %). Similar research was done by Wang YihongYong(misspelling)( ((Missing whitespace before a parenthesis)2012) who collected questionnaires in Germany and demonstrated the top three most important source of information for German respondents were German media (80.9 %), followed by Chinese restaurants (24.2 % ))(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses), and then Chinese people in Germany ( ((Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses)23.1 % ))(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses). The findings in the two studies reveal highly overlapping sources of information. While today’s media develops with a trend in digitization, intelligence, socialization and mobilization, it thus provides more accessible exposure and contact to diverse information of Chinese culture for people from diverse cultural backgrounds. Relevant researches concerning intergroup contact are also carried out in Hong Kong, covering the topics of attitudes, reducing bias, friendship, (Two consecutive spaces)intergenerational contact, tourist-host social contact, minority-majority contact, and an integrated study of several topics combined togethercombined(combine together (combine))(Chan, 2006; Cohn-Schwartz et al., 2023; Fan et al., 2017; SchwieterSchweitzer(misspelling) et al., 2018; ShumShut(misspelling) et al., 2020; Techakesari[No Replacement Word Found](misspelling) et al., 2015; YuYou(misspelling), 2016; Zhou&WangHoushang(misspelling), 2020). However, the studies are carried out from one specific or several perspectives, and seldom attention has been paid to the contact theory as a whole, especially that no research has been conducted from the pre-arrival and post-arrival contact angle. This study seeks to utilize ana(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') discourse analysis method to delve into the intergroup contact mechanism based on international students’ evolving perceptions before and after coming to Hong Kong from the intercultural studiesstudies'(Possessive apostrophe error) perspective. The intended research goals of this study are threefold: (1) understand how international students construct and represent Chinese culture and Chinese people before and after their arrival; (2) identify the influencing factors, processes and effects of their interactions with local people; and (3) construct a model of international students’ intergroup contact mechanisms in relation to their evolving cultural perceptions of Chinese people and Chinese culture. Based on the above research goals, the study aims to investigate the following research questions: Question 1: What were participants’ varied perceptions of Chinese culture and Chinese people before their arrival and, and(comma between independent clauses) how were those perceptions formulated( ((Missing whitespace before a parenthesis)conditions, sources of information and types)? (pre-arrival conditions) Question 2: What are the contact mechanism factors and processes affecting participants’ interaction with local people after their arrival? (upon arrival and early formation) Question 3: What are the contact mechanism effects with respect to perceptions of Chinese culture and Chinese people after participants’ arrival? (post-arrival, at a later time after engagement) The listed three research questions are concluded on account of time order, that is pre-arrival and post-arrival contact. In fact, many apparent and subtle mechanisms will also be explored and addressed within the time linetimeline(dead line (deadline)). For instance, the study will compare the differences of contact types and sources of information of Chinese culture before and after arrival in Hong Kong. It can be anticipated that the contact will fall into two broad types: direct and indirect contact. A further analysis of the specific contact type, namely direct or indirect, can be made to explore its influences on attitudes, prejudice, stereotypes and so on, respectively. Besides, if by any chance, failure to establish a successful contact with Chinese people can seek to explanations of whether the contact conditions are meet.

6.文章修订

Intergroup Contact: Pre-arrival and Post-arrival Processes

Intergroup contact between different cultures encompasses pre-arrival and post-arrival stages, aligning with the concepts of enculturation and acculturation. Enculturation, also known as socialization, is the process through which individuals learn about their community, gender, and generational roles in life. This learning occurs primarily through naturally occurring, non-institutional forms (Scollon & Scollon, 2001:149) before contact with other cultures. Acculturation refers to situations where two distinct cultural or social groups interact. Berry (1992, 2005) identifies four adaptation strategies during acculturation: (a) integration, (b) assimilation, (c) separation, and (d) marginalization.

The purpose of this research proposal is to investigate the intergroup contact mechanism among international students in Hong Kong by focusing on their evolving perceptions of Chinese culture and people before and after their arrival. Discourse analysis will serve as the primary research method. The study aims to achieve three research goals: (1) understand how international students construct and represent Chinese culture and Chinese people before and after their arrival; (2) identify the influencing factors, processes, and effects of their interactions with local people; and (3) construct a model of international students' intergroup contact mechanisms concerning their evolving cultural perceptions of Chinese people and Chinese culture.

Research Question 1: How did international students perceive Chinese culture and people before arriving in Hong Kong? What factors influenced the formation of these perceptions?

Research Question 2: What are the contact mechanism factors affecting participants' interaction with local people after their arrival? How do these factors contribute to the formation of new perceptions?

Research Question 3: What are the contact mechanism effects on participants' perceptions of Chinese culture and Chinese people after arriving in Hong Kong?

Previous studies on intergroup contact in Hong Kong have focused on various aspects such as attitudes towards other cultures, reducing bias and stereotypes, building friendships across cultural boundaries, intergenerational interactions, and social contacts between tourists and hosts. However, these studies have not comprehensively examined the pre-arrival and post-arrival contact experiences of international students.

Kormos and Csizér (2007) identified two major types of interpersonal contact in a foreign language environment: direct contact and indirect contact. Direct contact involves verbal interaction (either spoken or written) with native and non-native speakers of the target language. Indirect contact is associated with indirect interpersonal contact and indirect cultural artifacts contact. Indirect interpersonal contact refers to situations where students only see the target language speakers without talking to them or are told about the people and culture by an "influential other," such as parents, teachers, or siblings. Indirect artifacts contact involves encounters with cultural artifacts of another culture through various media like TV, Internet, books, movies, magazines, and newspapers.

Several surveys conducted in developed countries have investigated the sources of information about Chinese culture. Guan Shijie (2012) explored the main information sources for Americans' understanding of China. The results showed that American media (84.3%), Chinese people in the United States (32.6%), and Chinese restaurants (30.8%) were the top three channels of contact. Wang Yihong (2012) conducted a similar study in Germany, revealing that German media (80.9%), Chinese restaurants (24.2%), and Chinese people in Germany (23.1%) were the most critical sources of information for German respondents.

This study will compare the differences in types of intergroup contacts before and after arriving in Hong Kong while exploring their influences on attitudes, prejudice, stereotypes, etc., respectively. By examining these aspects within a timeline encompassing pre-arrival to post-arrival experiences, the research aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of the intergroup contact mechanism among international students in Hong Kong. (585 words)

7.文章批改

Intergroup Contact: Pre-arrival Contact and Post-arrival Contact Process Processes

Intergroup contact between different cultures encompasses pre-arrival and post-arrival stages, aligning with another culture involves pre-arrival contact and post-arrival contact stages, which is in line with the the concepts of enculturation and acculturation processes. The former, enculturation, acculturation. (I combined the two sentences to create a more concise introduction.) Enculturation, also called known as socialization, is a the process where one learns one’s through which individuals learn about their community, one’s gender and one’s gender, and generational place roles in life. To be more specific, one learns to be a member largely This learning occurs primarily through naturally occurring, non-institutional forms of learning(Scollon & Scollon, 2001:149) before contact with other cultures. Acculturation, a term anthropologists and sociologists have used to talk about Acculturation refers to situations in which where two different distinct cultural or social groups come into contact. During the process of acculturation, interact. Berry (1992, 2005) identifies four adaptation strategies during acculturation: (a) integration, (b) assimilation, (c) separation, and (d) marginalization.

The purpose of this research proposal is to investigate the intergroup contact mechanism among international students in Hong Kong by focusing on their evolving perceptions of Chinese culture and people before and after their arrival. Discourse analysis will serve as the primary research method. (I rephrased this sentence to make it more concise and clear.) The study aims to achieve three research goals: (1) understand how international students construct and represent Chinese culture and Chinese people before and after their arrival; (2) identify the influencing factors, processes, and effects of their interactions with local people; and (3) construct a model of international students' intergroup contact mechanisms concerning their evolving cultural perceptions of Chinese people and Chinese culture.

Research Question 1: How did international students perceive Chinese culture and people before arriving in Hong Kong? What factors influenced the formation of these perceptions? (I rephrased this question for clarity.)

Research Question 2: What are the contact mechanism factors affecting participants' interaction with local people after their arrival? How do these factors contribute to the formation of new perceptions?

Research Question 3: What are the contact mechanism effects on participants' perceptions of Chinese culture and Chinese people after arriving in Hong Kong?

Previous studies on intergroup contact in Hong Kong have focused on various aspects such as attitudes towards other cultures, reducing bias and stereotypes, building friendships across cultural boundaries, intergenerational interactions, and social contacts between tourists and hosts. However, these studies have not comprehensively examined the pre-arrival and post-arrival contact experiences of international students. (I rephrased this sentence to emphasize the gap in existing research.)

Kormos and Csizér (2007) identified by Berry(1992, 2005): (a) integration, (b) assimilation, (c) separation, and (d) marginalization. The integration strategy involves the interest in both maintaining the original culture and interacting with members in the mainstream society. Assimilation occurs when individuals adopt the cultural norms of a dominant or host culture, over their original culture. The separation strategy includes the preservation of individuals’ original culture and the unwillingness to contact host society and culture. Integration occurs when individuals are able to adopt the cultural norms of the dominant or host culture while retaining the original national culture. The marginalization strategy refers to the failure to maintain their original culture and at the same time inability to integrate into the new society. ¶ Adoption of different acculturation strategy indicates international students’ exposure, willingness and adaptation to Chinese culture are diverse from individual to individual, which affects their cognition and acceptance of Chinese culture. ¶ Types of Intergroup Contact ¶ Kormos and Csizér (2007) conducted several interviews revealing that two major types of inter-personal contact were differentiated interpersonal contact in a foreign language environment: direct contact and indirect contact. Direct contact involves verbal interaction (either spoken or written) with native and non-native speakers of the target language. By contrast, indirect Indirect contact is associated with indirect interpersonal contact and indirect cultural artifacts contact. To elaborate, indirect Indirect interpersonal contact relates to the situation refers to situations where students only see the target language speakers without talking to them or are told about the people and culture by an ‘‘influential other’’ like their "influential other," such as parents, teacher, teachers, or siblings. Indirect artifacts contact involves encounters with cultural artifacts of another culture through various media, such as media like TV, Internet, books, movies, magazines magazines, and newspapers. Based on previous researches, this study divides the types of other cultural groups' contact with Chinese culture into two categories: direct contact and indirect contact. Direct contact is equivalent to objective cognition through personal experience, and indirect contact is equivalent to virtual cognition. ¶ Sources of Information of Intergroup Contact ¶ At present, some surveys, mainly (I made minor edits for clarity.)

Several surveys conducted in developed countries, countries have been carried out to make clear of investigated the sources of information of about Chinese culture. Some studies focus on a specific country to collect information. Guan ShijieShijie (2012) investigated explored the main information sources of American people's for Americans' understanding of China. The results showed that the American media (84.3%), Chinese people in the United States (32.6%), and Chinese restaurants (30.8%) were the top three channels of contact were American contact. Wang Yihong (2012) conducted a similar study in Germany, revealing that German media (84.3 %80.9%), Chinese people in the United States ( 32.6 % ) and Chinese restaurants (30.8 %24.2%). Similar research was done by Wang Yihong(2012) who collected questionnaires , and Chinese people in Germany and demonstrated the top three (23.1%) were the most important source critical sources of information for German respondents were German media (80.9 %), followed by Chinese restaurants (24.2 % ), and then Chinese people in Germany ( 23.1 % ). The findings in the two studies reveal highly overlapping sources of information. While today’s media develops with a trend in digitization, intelligence, socialization and mobilization, it thus provides more accessible exposure and contact to diverse information of Chinese culture respondents. (I made minor edits for people from diverse cultural backgrounds. ¶ Relevant researches concerning intergroup contact are also carried out in Hong Kong, covering the topics of attitudes, reducing bias, friendship, intergenerational contact, tourist-host social contact, minority-majority contact, and an integrated study of several topics combined together(Chan, 2006; Cohn-Schwartz et al., 2023; Fan et al., 2017; Schwieter et al., 2018; Shum et al., 2020; Techakesari et al., 2015; Yu, 2016; Zhou&Wang, 2020). However, the studies are carried out from one specific or several perspectives, and seldom attention has been paid to the contact theory as a whole, especially that no research has been conducted from the pre-arrival and post-arrival contact angle. clarity.)

This study seeks to utilize an discourse analysis method to delve into the intergroup contact mechanism based on international students’ evolving perceptions before and after coming to Hong Kong from the intercultural studies perspective. The intended research goals of this study are threefold: (1) understand how international students construct and represent Chinese culture and Chinese people before and after their arrival; (2) identify the influencing factors, processes and effects of their interactions with local people; and (3) construct a model of international students’ intergroup contact mechanisms in relation to their evolving cultural perceptions of Chinese people and Chinese culture. Based on the above research goals, the study aims to investigate the following research questions: ¶ Question 1: What were participants’ varied perceptions of Chinese culture and Chinese people before their arrival and how were those perceptions formulated(conditions, sources of information and types)? (pre-arrival conditions) ¶ Question 2: What are the contact mechanism factors and processes affecting participants’ interaction with local people after their arrival? (upon arrival and early formation) ¶ Question 3: What are the contact mechanism effects with respect to perceptions of Chinese culture and Chinese people after participants’ arrival? (post-arrival, at a later time after engagement) ¶ The listed three research questions are concluded on account of time order, that is pre-arrival and post-arrival contact. In fact, many apparent and subtle mechanisms will also be explored and addressed within the time line. For instance, the study will compare the differences of contact in types and sources of information of Chinese culture of intergroup contacts before and after arrival arriving in Hong Kong. It can be anticipated that the contact will fall into two broad types: direct and indirect contact. A further analysis of the specific contact type, namely direct or indirect, can be made to explore its Kong while exploring their influences on attitudes, prejudice, stereotypes and so on, stereotypes, etc., respectively. Besides, if by any chance, failure to establish By examining these aspects within a successful contact with Chinese people can seek to explanations of whether the contact conditions are meet.timeline encompassing pre-arrival to post-arrival experiences, the research aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of the intergroup contact mechanism among international students in Hong Kong. (I rephrased this sentence to improve clarity and flow.)

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Investigate the intergroup contact mechanism among international students in Hong Kong.
  • Topic 1: Pre-arrival and post-arrival processes
    • Enculturation
    • Acculturation
      • Integration
      • Assimilation
      • Separation
      • Marginalization
  • Topic 2: Types of intergroup contact
    • Direct contact
    • Indirect contact
      • Indirect interpersonal contact
      • Indirect artifacts contact
  • Topic 3: Sources of information about Chinese culture
    • American media, Chinese people in the US, Chinese restaurants (Guan Shijie, 2012)
    • German media, Chinese restaurants, Chinese people in Germany (Wang Yihong, 2012)
  • Conclusion: Comprehensive understanding of the intergroup contact mechanism among international students in Hong Kong.

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. International students who engage in direct contact with local people are more likely to develop a deeper understanding of Chinese culture, leading to better integration and fewer stereotypes.

2. Indirect contact through watching Chinese movies can help international students appreciate the richness of Chinese history and arts, fostering curiosity and respect for the host culture.

3. Language barriers might hinder direct contact between international students and local people, resulting in less effective acculturation and potential misunderstandings.

4. Cultural exchange programs that promote both direct and indirect contact can facilitate the integration process for international students, allowing them to maintain their original cultural identity while adapting to the new environment.

5. The availability of diverse sources of information about Chinese culture can contribute to more accurate perceptions among international students, helping them navigate their post-arrival experiences more effectively.