TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Next, we'll be discussing the future of higher education, focusing onproposals for making postsecondary education (education after highschool) more efficient and more accessible. One such proposal is to makeclass attendance optional. For instance, under an optional-attendancepolicy. university students could choose not to attend classes but insteacstudy the course materials and acquire the knowledge on their own timeTheir grade would then be based entirely on exams or papers. What arevour thoughts on this approach?

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度: 3

• 文章结构与组织: 3

• 连贯性与衔接: 3

• 语言运用: 3

2.预估分数

• 预估分数: 20

3.任务完成度 在这篇文章中，你提到了同意克莱尔的观点，认为课堂出勤应该是可选的。你给出了两个理由来支持你的观点。然而，文章没有详细讨论如何通过实施这种政策来提高高等教育的效率和可及性。为了改进这篇文章，建议你在论述中更具体地说明这种政策如何解决高等教育中的问题。

示例1: For example, by making class attendance optional, universities can allocate more resources to online learning platforms, which would make education more accessible to students from different backgrounds.

示例2: Moreover, this approach could encourage students to take more responsibility for their own learning, which may lead to a more efficient and personalized educational experience.

4.文章结构与组织 虽然文章有一个简短的引言和结论，但整体上缺乏清晰的结构。建议使用主题句来引导每段，并确保每段都集中讨论一个特定的观点。此外，在段落之间使用过渡词或短语可以帮助提高连贯性和衔接。

示例1: Instead of: "Firstly, most of classes held in university are boring and out of date." Use: "One reason why class attendance should be optional is that many university classes are outdated and unengaging."

示例2: Instead of: "Secondly, just as the Claire says, students can make the time of class more useful if they do not attend the class." Use: "Another advantage of optional class attendance is that it allows students to use their time more effectively, as they can choose to study in a more conducive environment."

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I agreesagree(Agreement error: Third-person verb with a non-third-person pronoun) with Claire's idea that class attendance should be optional. Firstly, most of classesmost of the classes(Articles: 'most/some of' + plural noun) held in university are boring and out of date.Take Take(Missing space between sentences) my own experience as example, many professors now in universities can barely juggle teaching and searching at the same time, and majority parts of professors choose to focus on their searching. In class, they just repeat the content which has been written on powerpointPowerPoint(Microsoft product names). Thus, students can easily pass the exams just by browsing all powerpointsPowerPoints(misspelling) before the class and there is no need to attend the class in person. Secondly, just as the Claire says, students can make the time of class more useful if they do not attend the class. In class, teachers always speak aloud to present their ideas and the whole environment is so distracting that students can not easily put all their mind to concentrate on their own work. However, if the class attendance is optional, students may go to the library or any other silent place to study and, and(comma between independent clauses) their efficiency can be greatly improved, making their time more meaningful.

6.文章修订

In recent years, there has been a growing debate surrounding the future of higher education, with a particular focus on proposals aimed at making postsecondary education more efficient and accessible. One such proposal is the implementation of an optional-attendance policy, allowing university students to choose whether or not to attend classes and instead study course materials independently. Their grades would then be based solely on exams or papers. I firmly believe that adopting an optional-attendance policy could greatly benefit both students and the educational system as a whole.

One reason why class attendance should be optional is that many university classes are outdated and unengaging. For instance, in my personal experience, I have observed that numerous professors struggle to balance teaching with their research responsibilities. Consequently, they often prioritize their research over classroom instruction, resulting in lectures that merely reiterate content displayed on PowerPoint slides. In such cases, students can easily pass exams by reviewing these slides independently without attending classes in person.

Another advantage of optional class attendance is that it allows students to use their time more effectively by studying in environments conducive to their learning styles. Traditional classroom settings can be distracting for some students due to the constant noise and interruptions from peers or instructors. By making attendance optional, students have the opportunity to seek out alternative study spaces such as libraries or quiet rooms where they can fully concentrate on their work without disturbances.

Furthermore, implementing an optional-attendance policy could encourage universities to invest more resources into online learning platforms, thereby making education more accessible for students from diverse backgrounds. With advancements in technology and the increasing popularity of online courses, higher education institutions must adapt their teaching methods to accommodate various learning preferences and needs. By offering flexible attendance options alongside comprehensive online resources, universities can cater to a wider range of students while promoting self-directed learning.

Moreover, this approach could foster a sense of responsibility among students for their own educational progress. When given the freedom to choose whether or not to attend classes, students may be more inclined to take charge of their learning experience and develop essential time-management skills. This sense of autonomy could ultimately lead to a more efficient and personalized educational journey.

In conclusion, I strongly support the idea of making class attendance optional in higher education institutions. By doing so, universities can create a more engaging and effective learning environment that caters to the diverse needs of their students. Additionally, this policy could encourage students to take responsibility for their own education while promoting efficiency and accessibility within the higher education system. With these potential benefits in mind, it is crucial for educators and policymakers alike to consider implementing optional-attendance policies as a means of improving the future landscape of postsecondary education. (465 words)

7.文章批改

In my opinion, recent years, there has been a growing debate surrounding the future of higher education, with a particular focus on proposals aimed at making postsecondary education more efficient and accessible. (This opening sentence provides a clearer context for the essay topic.) One such proposal is the implementation of an optional-attendance policy, allowing university students to choose whether or not to attend classes and instead study course materials independently. Their grades would then be based solely on exams or papers. I agrees with Claire's idea firmly believe that adopting an optional-attendance policy could greatly benefit both students and the educational system as a whole. (This revised thesis statement is more assertive and clearly states the writer's position.)

One reason why class attendance should be optional. Firstly, most of optional is that many university classes held in university are boring and out of date.Take outdated and unengaging. (This topic sentence better introduces the paragraph's main idea.) For instance, in my own experience as example, many personal experience, I have observed that numerous professors now in universities can barely juggle struggle to balance teaching and searching at the same time, and majority parts of professors choose to focus with their research responsibilities. Consequently, they often prioritize their research over classroom instruction, resulting in lectures that merely reiterate content displayed on their searching. PowerPoint slides. In class, they just repeat the content which has been written on powerpoint. Thus, such cases, students can easily pass the exams just by browsing all powerpoints before the class and there is no need to attend the class reviewing these slides independently without attending classes in person. Secondly, just as the Claire says, students can make the time of class more useful if they do not attend the class. In class, teachers always speak aloud to present their ideas and the whole environment is so distracting that students can not easily put all their mind to concentrate on their own work. However, if the

Another advantage of optional class attendance is optional, students may go to the library or any other silent place to study and their efficiency that it allows students to use their time more effectively by studying in environments conducive to their learning styles. (This revised topic sentence provides a smoother transition between paragraphs.) Traditional classroom settings can be greatly improved, distracting for some students due to the constant noise and interruptions from peers or instructors. By making their time more meaningful.attendance optional, students have the opportunity to seek out alternative study spaces such as libraries or quiet rooms where they can fully concentrate on their work without disturbances.

Furthermore, implementing an optional-attendance policy could encourage universities to invest more resources into online learning platforms, thereby making education more accessible for students from diverse backgrounds. (The revised sentence clarifies how this policy could improve accessibility.) With advancements in technology and the increasing popularity of online courses, higher education institutions must adapt their teaching methods to accommodate various learning preferences and needs. By offering flexible attendance options alongside comprehensive online resources, universities can cater to a wider range of students while promoting self-directed learning.

Moreover, this approach could foster a sense of responsibility among students for their own educational progress. (This revised sentence better introduces the paragraph's main idea.) When given the freedom to choose whether or not to attend classes, students may be more inclined to take charge of their learning experience and develop essential time-management skills. This sense of autonomy could ultimately lead to a more efficient and personalized educational journey.

In conclusion, I strongly support the idea of making class attendance optional in higher education institutions. (This revised concluding sentence restates the writer's position more assertively.) By doing so, universities can create a more engaging and effective learning environment that caters to the diverse needs of their students. Additionally, this policy could encourage students to take responsibility for their own education while promoting efficiency and accessibility within the higher education system. With these potential benefits in mind, it is crucial for educators and policymakers alike to consider implementing optional-attendance policies as a means of improving the future landscape of postsecondary education.

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Optional class attendance in higher education

  • Topic sentence 1: Outdated and unengaging classes
    • Sub-topic: Professors prioritizing research
    • Supporting example: PowerPoint-based lectures
  • Topic sentence 2: Effective time usage and conducive environments
    • Sub-topic: Traditional classroom distractions
    • Supporting example: Studying in libraries or quiet rooms
  • Topic sentence 3: Encouraging investment in online learning platforms
    • Sub-topic: Adapting to diverse learning preferences and needs
    • Supporting example: Flexible attendance options and online resources
  • Topic sentence 4: Fostering responsibility for educational progress
    • Sub-topic: Developing time-management skills
    • Supporting example: Autonomy leading to personalized education journey

• Conclusion: Implementing optional-attendance policies for a more engaging, efficient, and accessible higher education system

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Optional attendance can reduce stress levels among students, allowing them to focus on their mental well-being and academic performance without the pressure of mandatory class attendance.

2. Students with part-time jobs or family responsibilities can benefit from optional class attendance, as it provides them with the flexibility to balance their personal and academic lives more effectively.

3. Optional class attendance encourages universities to continuously improve their course offerings and teaching methods, as they must compete for students' attention and engagement.

4. Students with different learning styles can benefit from optional class attendance, as they have the freedom to choose the most suitable learning method for themselves – whether it be attending lectures, watching recorded sessions, or studying independently.

5. Implementing an optional-attendance policy could lead to more efficient use of university resources, as institutions may reevaluate their spending on classroom facilities and instead invest in improving online learning infrastructure.