TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is easier to become educated today than it was in the past.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

你的文章回答了题目要求，但在论证过程中有些论点不够充分。建议在提出观点时，给出更具体的例子和数据支持。此外，注意使用恰当的词汇表达自己的观点。

Example 1: Instead of "teachers gradually lost their ethics," you can write "the decline in teaching quality and professional ethics among some educators."

Example 2: Instead of "population sharply increase," you can write "the rapid population growth."

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构基本完整，但部分段落衔接不够自然。建议在段落之间加入过渡句，使文章更连贯。同时，在论述过程中注意逻辑清晰。

Example 1: Add a transition sentence between the first and second paragraphs, such as "While the accessibility of education has improved, there are still challenges that make it difficult for students to receive a quality education."

Example 2: In the conclusion, instead of directly stating "the loss of the virtue of teachers and the soaring population density," you can write "In light of these factors, it is evident that obtaining a quality education today is more challenging than in the past."

5. 语法批改

As the demand for well-educated workers significantly grew, people were more likely to acquire higher-level graduation certifications. The trend that pursues a qualification from the higher ranking level of college results in competition to a large extent. Many scholars argue that it is easier to become educated today than previously. However, I disagree with this statement because teachers gradually lost their ethics, and the population sharply increase in recent years. These two factors collectively hinder students from top educational resources.

Firstly, teacher ethics getting lost in some regions results in difficulty in well-educated nowadays. One of the primary indicators of educational qualities is the teacher itself because teachers play a crucial role between knowledge and students. While there is a gap among different teachers, somebody was patient to struggle with naughty boys; somebody gave up their students before the students themselves. The portion of such good teachers only will appear in the city towns where the rules of recruitment are a high quantity of supply, nonetheless, low quantity of demand. They had to outweigh the other competitors to get the job. The teachers' attitudes are markedly different in some regions where far away from city towns, such as rural areas. Those teachers who lost their ethics do not permit all the students to learn with high qualities. For instance, my friend Jack who attended the same school as me used to be a naughty boy at elementary school and was out in the cold by our home-room teacher. He hates to study and play at school every day. Undoubtedly, he failed to enter a better high school, much less college. Thus, it is not easier to become well-educated today when students are interfered with by teachers without ethics.

Furthermore, the increase in population density prohibits students to be well-educated as well. Some people would say that population growth means opportunity increased. I concede the portion of people who can get top educational resources will never grow. Because of the scarcity of natural resources on the earth, impoverished people's fate is still limited to early marriage. According to the principle of supply and demand, the price of food will sharply increase as the need for food increases, which dues to population growth when we presume that the amount of resources on the earth are unchanged. At this circumference, wealthy portions might have extra money to pay tuition fees without worrying about surviving; impoverished instead. The money they earned just breaks even for their lives, so there is nothing additional money for these families' children to attend college unless they go to the bank to apply for loans. Therefore, population growth failed to offer more opportunities for everyone, especially from the perspective of the educational attainment rate. It is harder to become educated today than in the past for families that were not wealthy.

In conclusion, the loss of the virtue of teachers and the soaring population density collectively contribute to the result that difficult to be well-educated nowadays than in the past.

6.文章修订

In recent years, the demand for well-educated workers has significantly increased, leading more people to pursue higher-level academic qualifications. This trend has resulted in intense competition among students striving for a top-tier education. While some argue that it is easier to become educated today than in the past, I disagree with this statement due to the decline in teaching quality and professional ethics among some educators and the challenges posed by rapid population growth. These factors collectively hinder students from accessing top educational resources.

Firstly, the decline in teaching quality and professional ethics in some regions makes it difficult for students to receive a well-rounded education today. Teachers play a crucial role in imparting knowledge to students, and their dedication and commitment directly impact educational outcomes. However, there is a noticeable disparity between teachers who are patient and persistent with challenging students and those who give up on their pupils prematurely. Good teachers are often concentrated in urban areas where there is high demand for their services but limited supply, resulting in fierce competition for teaching positions. In contrast, rural areas tend to have educators who lack professional ethics and dedication, preventing all students from receiving a high-quality education. For instance, my friend Jack was considered a troublemaker during elementary school and was neglected by our homeroom teacher. Consequently, he developed an aversion to studying and failed to enter a reputable high school or college. Thus, it is not easier for students like Jack to become well-educated today when they encounter teachers lacking professional ethics.

Furthermore, rapid population growth poses challenges for students seeking quality education as well. Some may argue that an increasing population equates to more opportunities; however, I contend that the number of people who can access top educational resources will not proportionally grow due to limited natural resources on Earth. As populations expand, impoverished individuals often face early marriage or other constraints that limit their educational prospects. According to the principle of supply and demand, food prices will rise sharply as the need for sustenance increases, assuming that Earth's resources remain constant. In this scenario, wealthy families can afford to pay tuition fees without worrying about survival, while impoverished families struggle to make ends meet and cannot afford higher education for their children. Consequently, population growth does not offer equal opportunities for everyone, particularly in terms of educational attainment rates. It is harder for students from low-income families to become educated today than in the past.

In light of these factors, it is evident that obtaining a quality education today is more challenging than in the past. The decline in teaching quality and professional ethics among some educators and the obstacles posed by rapid population growth collectively contribute to this difficulty. As a result, students face greater challenges in accessing top educational resources and achieving academic success compared to previous generations. (476 words)

As 7.文章批改

In recent years, the demand for well-educated workers has significantly grew, increased (revised for clarity), leading more people were more likely to acquire to pursue higher-level graduation certifications. The academic qualifications. This trend that pursues a qualification from the higher ranking level of college results in has resulted in intense competition to a large extent. Many scholars among students striving for a top-tier education. While some argue that it is easier to become educated today than previously. However, in the past, I disagree with this statement because teachers gradually lost their ethics, and the due to the decline in teaching quality and professional ethics among some educators (revised for better word choice) and the challenges posed by rapid population sharply increase in recent years. growth (revised for clarity). These two factors collectively hinder students from accessing top educational resources.

Firstly, teacher the decline in teaching quality and professional ethics getting lost in some regions results in difficulty in well-educated nowadays. One of the primary indicators of educational qualities is the teacher itself because teachers makes it difficult for students to receive a well-rounded education today (revised for better word choice). Teachers play a crucial role in imparting knowledge to students, and their dedication and commitment directly impact educational outcomes (revised for clarity). However, there is a noticeable disparity between knowledge and students. While there is a gap among different teachers, somebody was patient to struggle with naughty boys; somebody gave up their students before the students themselves. The portion of such good teachers only will appear in the city towns where the rules of recruitment are a high quantity of supply, nonetheless, low quantity of demand. They had to outweigh the other competitors to get the job. The teachers' attitudes are markedly different in some regions where far away from city towns, such as rural areas. Those teachers who lost are patient and persistent with challenging students and those who give up on their pupils prematurely (revised for better word choice). Good teachers are often concentrated in urban areas where there is high demand for their services but limited supply, resulting in fierce competition for teaching positions. In contrast, rural areas tend to have educators who lack professional ethics do not permit and dedication (revised for better word choice), preventing all the students to learn with high qualities. students from receiving a high-quality education. For instance, my friend Jack who attended the same school as me used to be a naughty boy at was considered a troublemaker during elementary school and was out in the cold neglected by our home-room teacher. He hates to study and play at homeroom teacher (revised for clarity). Consequently, he developed an aversion to studying and failed to enter a reputable high school every day. Undoubtedly, he failed to enter a better high school, much less or college. Thus, it is not easier for students like Jack to become well-educated today when students are interfered with by they encounter teachers without ethics. lacking professional ethics (revised for better word choice).

Furthermore, the increase in population density prohibits students to be well-educated as well. Some people would say that rapid population growth means opportunity increased. poses challenges for students seeking quality education as well (revised for clarity). Some may argue that an increasing population equates to more opportunities; however, I concede the portion contend that the number of people who can get access top educational resources will never grow. Because of the scarcity of not proportionally grow due to limited natural resources on the earth, Earth (revised for better word choice). As populations expand, impoverished people's fate is still limited to individuals often face early marriage. marriage or other constraints that limit their educational prospects (revised for clarity). According to the principle of supply and demand, the price of food prices will rise sharply increase as the need for food sustenance increases, which dues to population growth when we presume assuming that the amount of Earth's resources on the earth are unchanged. At remain constant. In this circumference, scenario, wealthy portions might have extra money families can afford to pay tuition fees without worrying about surviving; survival, while impoverished instead. The money they earned just breaks even families struggle to make ends meet and cannot afford higher education for their lives, so there is nothing additional money for these families' children to attend college unless they go to the bank to apply for loans. Therefore, (revised for clarity). Consequently, population growth failed to does not offer more equal opportunities for everyone, especially from the perspective particularly in terms of the educational attainment rate. rates. It is harder for students from low-income families to become educated today than in the past for families that were not wealthy. (revised for better word choice).

In conclusion, the loss light of the virtue of teachers and the soaring these factors, it is evident that obtaining a quality education today is more challenging than in the past (revised for better word choice). The decline in teaching quality and professional ethics among some educators and the obstacles posed by rapid population density growth collectively contribute to the result that difficult to be well-educated nowadays than in the past.this difficulty (revised for clarity). As a result, students face greater challenges in accessing top educational resources and achieving academic success compared to previous generations (revised for better word choice).

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Challenges in obtaining a quality education today

  • Topic sentence 1: Decline in teaching quality and professional ethics
    • Sub-topic: Disparity between dedicated and neglectful teachers
      • Supporting example: Friend Jack's experience with a neglectful teacher
  • Topic sentence 2: Rapid population growth
    • Sub-topic: Limited access to top educational resources
      • Supporting example: Struggles of impoverished families to afford higher education

• Conclusion: Obtaining a quality education is more challenging today due to the decline in teaching quality and rapid population growth

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Sub-opinion: The internet provides more educational resources.

   • Explanation: Online courses and learning materials are widely available.
   • Supporting example: Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs) offer free or low-cost access to education from top universities.

2. Sub-opinion: The quality of education varies greatly between urban and rural areas.

   • Explanation: Urban areas often have better-funded schools and more qualified teachers.
   • Supporting example: Rural schools may lack modern facilities, such as computer labs, hindering students' learning experience.

3. Sub-opinion: Financial aid can help bridge the gap in educational opportunities.

   • Explanation: Scholarships and grants can provide financial support for low-income students to pursue higher education.
   • Supporting example: Government-funded programs like Pell Grants in the United States help eligible students pay for college.

4. Sub-opinion: Teacher training programs should focus on improving professional ethics.

   • Explanation: Ensuring that educators adhere to high ethical standards can improve the overall quality of education.
   • Supporting example: Mandatory professional development courses on ethics can help teachers understand their responsibilities and maintain a supportive learning environment.

5. Sub-opinion: Community-based initiatives can help address educational disparities.

   • Explanation: Local organizations can provide resources and support for students in underprivileged areas.
   • Supporting example: Non-profit organizations like Teach For America recruit talented individuals to teach in low-income communities, aiming to improve educational outcomes for disadvantaged students.