TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Directions: Read the question below. You have 9 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a mininum of 100 words. Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度：3

• 文章结构与组织：3

• 连贯性和衔接：3

• 语言运用：3

2.预估分数

• 20

3.任务完成度 你的文章回答了题目，但没有充分展开论述。建议你在论述中提供更多具体的原因和例子来支持你的观点。此外，注意审题，题目要求讨论学生是否受老师影响更大，而不是朋友。

示例1： 原文："For instance, after class, students can discuss the content of the class and as friends, they can share the point of view of all of things." 修改后："For instance, a student may be more likely to adopt a friend's study habits or extracurricular interests than those recommended by a teacher."

示例2： 原文："And friends will give some advice to solve the problems." 修改后："In contrast, teachers may not always be available for personal advice or may lack understanding of students' individual circumstances."

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构方面需要改进。建议在开头部分明确表达你的观点，并在正文部分逐一阐述支持你观点的理由和例子。最后，用一个简短的结论段落总结全文。

示例1： 原文："I subscribe that students are more susceptible to their friends than teachers since they spend most of their time with their friends, such as eating lunch, hanging out and doing assignments." 修改后："I disagree with the statement that students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. In my opinion, students are more susceptible to their friends' influence due to the amount of time they spend together and their shared experiences."

示例2： 原文：无结论段落 添加结论段落："In conclusion, while teachers undoubtedly play a significant role in shaping students' lives, it is ultimately the influence of friends that has a greater impact on students due to the time spent together and the mutual understanding they share."

5. 语法批改

I subscribe that students are more susceptible to their friends than teachers since they spend most of their time with their friends, such as eating lunch, hanging out and doing assignments. For instance, after class, students can discuss the content of the class and as friends, they can share the point of view of all of thingsall things(all/most/some (of) + noun). Besides, they have the same status, so the students are willing to tell their worries to their friends. And friends will give some advice to solve the problems. Conversely, some students believe that teachers can't understand what they are concerned aboutabout,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) so they will feel overwhelmed when confronting the teacher.

6.文章修订

I disagree with the statement that students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. In my opinion, students are more susceptible to their friends' influence due to the amount of time they spend together and their shared experiences.

To begin with, students spend a significant portion of their day with their friends, engaging in various activities such as eating lunch, hanging out after school, and working on assignments together. This constant interaction allows them to develop strong bonds and share similar perspectives on various subjects. For instance, a student may be more likely to adopt a friend's study habits or extracurricular interests than those recommended by a teacher. The camaraderie among peers creates an environment where they can easily influence each other's opinions and behaviors.

Moreover, friends often have a better understanding of each other's personal circumstances compared to teachers. They can empathize with one another's struggles and provide tailored advice based on their knowledge of each other's strengths and weaknesses. In contrast, teachers may not always be available for personal advice or may lack understanding of students' individual circumstances. This deeper connection between friends makes it easier for them to influence one another in ways that teachers cannot.

Additionally, the equal status among friends fosters open communication and mutual respect. Students are more likely to share their concerns and seek guidance from their peers rather than approaching teachers who might be perceived as authoritative figures. Friends can provide support without judgment or fear of retribution, which encourages students to be receptive to their suggestions and advice.

However, it is important not to undermine the role of teachers in shaping students' lives. Teachers possess valuable knowledge and experience that can greatly benefit students in both academic and personal development. Their guidance can help students make informed decisions about future career paths or navigate challenging situations at school.

Nonetheless, the impact of peer influence should not be underestimated. As social beings, humans naturally gravitate towards forming connections with others who share similar interests and values. This is particularly true for students, who spend a considerable amount of time with their friends during their formative years. The strong bonds formed among peers can lead to a lasting impact on their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.

In conclusion, while teachers undoubtedly play a significant role in shaping students' lives, it is ultimately the influence of friends that has a greater impact on students due to the time spent together and the mutual understanding they share. By recognizing the importance of both teachers and friends in a student's life, we can better understand the complex dynamics that contribute to their overall development and growth. (443 words)

I subscribe 7.文章批改

I disagree with the statement that students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. In my opinion, students are more susceptible to their friends than teachers since friends' influence due to the amount of time they spend most of their time together and their shared experiences. (I revised the introduction to clearly state the writer's position and provide a brief overview of the reasons.)

To begin with, students spend a significant portion of their day with their friends, engaging in various activities such as eating lunch, hanging out and doing assignments. after school, and working on assignments together. This constant interaction allows them to develop strong bonds and share similar perspectives on various subjects. For instance, after class, students can discuss the content of the class and a student may be more likely to adopt a friend's study habits or extracurricular interests than those recommended by a teacher. The camaraderie among peers creates an environment where they can easily influence each other's opinions and behaviors. (I expanded this paragraph to provide more details about how students spend time with friends and how this leads to greater influence.)

Moreover, friends often have a better understanding of each other's personal circumstances compared to teachers. They can empathize with one another's struggles and provide tailored advice based on their knowledge of each other's strengths and weaknesses. In contrast, teachers may not always be available for personal advice or may lack understanding of students' individual circumstances. This deeper connection between friends makes it easier for them to influence one another in ways that teachers cannot. (I improved this paragraph by emphasizing the difference between friends' understanding of each other's situations compared to teachers.)

Additionally, the equal status among friends fosters open communication and mutual respect. Students are more likely to share their concerns and seek guidance from their peers rather than approaching teachers who might be perceived as friends, authoritative figures. Friends can provide support without judgment or fear of retribution, which encourages students to be receptive to their suggestions and advice. (I enhanced this paragraph by highlighting the importance of equal status and open communication among friends.)

However, it is important not to undermine the role of teachers in shaping students' lives. Teachers possess valuable knowledge and experience that can greatly benefit students in both academic and personal development. Their guidance can help students make informed decisions about future career paths or navigate challenging situations at school. (I added this paragraph to acknowledge the role of teachers in students' lives.)

Nonetheless, the impact of peer influence should not be underestimated. As social beings, humans naturally gravitate towards forming connections with others who share similar interests and values. This is particularly true for students, who spend a considerable amount of time with their friends during their formative years. The strong bonds formed among peers can lead to a lasting impact on their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors. (I expanded this paragraph to emphasize the importance of peer influence in human development.)

In conclusion, while teachers undoubtedly play a significant role in shaping students' lives, it is ultimately the influence of friends that has a greater impact on students due to the time spent together and the mutual understanding they can share the point of view of all of things. Besides, they have the same status, so the students are willing to tell their worries to their friends. And friends will give some advice to solve the problems. Conversely, some students believe share. By recognizing the importance of both teachers and friends in a student's life, we can better understand the complex dynamics that teachers can't understand what they are concerned about so they will feel overwhelmed when confronting the teacher.contribute to their overall development and growth. (I rephrased the conclusion to provide a more comprehensive summary of the essay's main points.)

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Students are more influenced by friends than teachers.
  • Topic sentence 1: Time spent together
    • Sub-topic: Activities with friends
      • Supporting example: Lunch, hanging out, assignments
  • Topic sentence 2: Understanding personal circumstances
    • Sub-topic: Empathy and tailored advice
      • Supporting example: Friends' knowledge of each other's strengths and weaknesses
  • Topic sentence 3: Equal status and open communication
    • Sub-topic: Sharing concerns and seeking guidance
      • Supporting example: Friends' non-judgmental support
  • Acknowledging teachers' role:
    • Sub-topic: Valuable knowledge and experience
      • Supporting example: Guidance in academic and personal development
  • Conclusion: Importance of both teachers and friends in students' lives

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Students often turn to friends for help with academic challenges, as they may feel more comfortable discussing their difficulties with peers who have faced similar issues.

2. Friends can introduce students to new hobbies or interests, broadening their horizons and enriching their lives in ways that teachers may not be able to achieve.

3. The shared experiences among friends can lead to the development of a strong support network, which can be invaluable during times of stress or personal crisis.

4. Friends can serve as role models for each other, inspiring positive change and growth by demonstrating admirable qualities such as perseverance, kindness, and determination.

5. The influence of friends extends beyond school life, as the connections formed during these years often continue into adulthood and shape future personal and professional relationships.