TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Deep learning has created a third boom in the development of artificial intelligence (AI), which has suddenly increased the number of companies involved in AI across diverse industries. However, contrary to initial expectations, instances of businesses experiencing rapid growth in specific industries or usage scenarios are still unknown; further, penetration of AI has been gradual and only as an extension of big data usage. Deep learning is a great concept, but what is needed is to make it more useful in society. Discuss two ways that you think deep learning can be made more useful in society.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度: 4

• 文章结构与组织: 3

• 连贯性与衔接: 3

• 语言运用: 3

2.预估分数

• 总分：23

3.任务完成度 虽然你的文章回答了题目要求的两个方面，但在具体解释和论证方面还有待加强。建议你在提出观点时，尽量详细地阐述原因，并给出具体的例子来支持你的观点。此外，注意保持文章主题的一致性，避免在讨论一个观点时突然转换到另一个话题。

示例1： 原文： "If the government increase the investment of relevant research labs, researchers can explore more possibilities in different fields." 修改后： "If the government increases investment in relevant research labs, it will provide researchers with more resources and opportunities to explore various applications of deep learning, such as improving traffic management systems or enhancing medical imaging technologies."

示例2： 原文："As far as a corporation, the income is the stimulus of a new project." 修改后："For corporations, potential revenue serves as a driving force for initiating new projects related to deep learning applications."

4.文章结构与组织 文章整体结构尚可，但在段落划分和逻辑衔接方面还有待改进。建议你明确每个段落的主题句，并确保每个段落都有清晰的中心思想。同时，注意在段落之间使用恰当的过渡词或短语，使文章更加连贯。

示例1： 原文："Firstly, the government should invent more money in research projects about deep learning." 修改后："Firstly, increasing government investment in deep learning research projects is crucial for its development and application."

示例2： 原文："Moreover, the second way is increase the corporation’s emphasize on this concept." 修改后："Furthermore, encouraging corporations to prioritize deep learning applications can also contribute to its wider adoption and usefulness in society."

5. 语法批改

Nowadays, as the development of artificial intelligence, the concept of deep learning has become a hot topic in both technological area and media area. People from various careers are all looking forwardlooking forward to(missing 'to' after 'look forward') theto the(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) usage of this concept in specific industries. However, it seems that the utilization of deep learning have not arrived theto the(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) original expection[No Replacement Word Found](misspelling). From my own perspective, there are two ways to promote this concept and make it more useful. As far as government investment and emphasize of corporations and universities are concerned, I strongly hold that these factors can be more essential in the development of deep learning.

Firstly, the government should invent more money in research projects about deep learning. Investment is an essential factor in scientific research, it impacts the result of experiment directly. Without the approval and encouragement of government, any progress in deep learning is full of difficulties. For example, in technological fields, the best usage of deep learning is self-driving technique. From the experiment design to promotion to the market, every stepsstep('every/each' + SINGULAR) of self-driving technique need numerous people’s effort and faculty’s support. The salaries of researcher and prices of experimental supplies is a big number. If the government increaseincreases(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) the investment of relevant research labs, researchers can explore more possibilities in different fields. Such usis(Detects potentially wrong usage of "us" instead of "is") language model development and medical diagnosis model.

Moreover, the second way is increaseto increase(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) the corporation’scorporations(The symptom's (symptoms) vary) emphasize on this concept. As far as a corporation, the income is the stimulus of a new project. For instance, when I was a child, I preferred studying the subject which I learn better than others. So do the universities and big corporations, when they realize the potential profit of a new project about deep learning, they will compete with other companies which in the same field. Tesla is a good example which can explain this phenomenon, the rapid evolution is due to the competition with other auto-mobileautomobile(Hyphenated words: auto-mobile) companies. In addition, to get more cutting-edge and useful ideas about deep learning, the universities usually hold competition to encourage student to propose new projects in many aspects such us technical areas, educational areas, medical areas. As a result, numerous advisementsadvisement(misspelling) which pass the evaluation will stimulate the development of deep learning and make more profit to corporations and universities.

6.文章修订

In recent years, the development of artificial intelligence (AI) has brought the concept of deep learning to the forefront of both technological and media discussions. Professionals from various industries eagerly anticipate the application of deep learning in their respective fields. However, it appears that the implementation of deep learning has not yet met initial expectations. In my opinion, there are two primary ways to promote this concept and make it more useful in society: increasing government investment and emphasizing corporate and university involvement in deep learning projects.

Firstly, increasing government investment in deep learning research projects is crucial for its development and application. Financial support plays a vital role in scientific research, as it directly impacts experimental outcomes. Without government approval and encouragement, progress in deep learning would face significant challenges. For instance, one of the most promising applications of deep learning is self-driving technology. From experimental design to market introduction, every step of self-driving technology development requires substantial effort from numerous individuals and institutional support. Researchers' salaries and the cost of experimental supplies constitute a considerable expense. If governments increase investment in relevant research labs, researchers will have more resources to explore various applications of deep learning, such as improving traffic management systems or enhancing medical imaging technologies.

Furthermore, encouraging corporations to prioritize deep learning applications can also contribute to its wider adoption and usefulness in society. For corporations, potential revenue serves as a driving force for initiating new projects related to deep learning applications. As an example from my childhood experience, I tended to focus on subjects where I performed better than others; similarly, universities and large corporations will compete with each other when they recognize the potential profit from a new project involving deep learning. Tesla's rapid evolution can be attributed to competition with other automobile companies that also strive for innovation.

In addition to financial incentives for corporations, universities play a critical role in fostering cutting-edge ideas about deep learning by holding competitions that encourage students to propose new projects across various fields, such as technology, education, and medicine. As a result, numerous advancements that pass the evaluation process will stimulate the development of deep learning and generate profits for both corporations and universities.

In conclusion, making deep learning more useful in society requires a collaborative effort from governments, corporations, and universities. By increasing government investment in research projects and encouraging corporate and university involvement in deep learning initiatives, we can accelerate the development of this promising technology and unlock its full potential to benefit various industries and society as a whole.

Essay statistics: {"words": 450, "unique_words": 246} (433 words)

Nowadays, as 7.文章批改

In recent years, the development of artificial intelligence, intelligence (AI) has brought the concept of deep learning has become a hot topic in to the forefront of both technological area and media area. People discussions. (Revised for clarity and conciseness) Professionals from various careers are all looking forward the usage of this concept in specific industries. industries eagerly anticipate the application of deep learning in their respective fields. However, it seems appears that the utilization of deep learning have implementation of deep learning has not arrived the original expection. From yet met initial expectations. In my own perspective, opinion, there are two primary ways to promote this concept and make it more useful. As far as useful in society: increasing government investment and emphasize of corporations and universities are concerned, I strongly hold that these factors can be more essential in the development of deep learning. emphasizing corporate and university involvement in deep learning projects. (Revised for clarity and organization)

Firstly, the increasing government should invent more money in investment in deep learning research projects about deep learning. Investment is an essential factor crucial for its development and application. (Revised for clarity) Financial support plays a vital role in scientific research, as it directly impacts the result of experiment directly. experimental outcomes. Without the government approval and encouragement of government, any encouragement, progress in deep learning is full of difficulties. would face significant challenges. For example, in technological fields, the best usage instance, one of the most promising applications of deep learning is self-driving technique. technology. From the experiment experimental design to promotion to the market, market introduction, every steps step of self-driving technique need technology development requires substantial effort from numerous people’s effort and faculty’s individuals and institutional support. The Researchers' salaries of researcher and prices and the cost of experimental supplies is a big number. constitute a considerable expense. If the government governments increase the investment of in relevant research labs, researchers will have more resources to explore various applications of deep learning, such as improving traffic management systems or enhancing medical imaging technologies. (Revised for clarity and coherence)

Furthermore, encouraging corporations to prioritize deep learning applications can explore more possibilities in different fields. Such us language model development and medical diagnosis model. ¶ Moreover, the second way is increase the corporation’s emphasize also contribute to its wider adoption and usefulness in society. (Revised for clarity) For corporations, potential revenue serves as a driving force for initiating new projects related to deep learning applications. As an example from my childhood experience, I tended to focus on this concept. As far as a corporation, the income is the stimulus of a new project. For instance, when subjects where I was a child, I preferred studying the subject which I learn performed better than others. So do the others; similarly, universities and big corporations, when they realize the potential profit of a new project about deep learning, they large corporations will compete with each other companies which in the same field. Tesla is a good example which can explain this phenomenon, the when they recognize the potential profit from a new project involving deep learning. Tesla's rapid evolution is due to the can be attributed to competition with other auto-mobile companies. automobile companies that also strive for innovation. (Revised for clarity and coherence)

In addition, to get more addition to financial incentives for corporations, universities play a critical role in fostering cutting-edge and useful ideas about deep learning, the universities usually hold competition to learning by holding competitions that encourage student students to propose new projects in many aspects across various fields, such us technical areas, educational areas, medical areas. as technology, education, and medicine. As a result, numerous advisements which advancements that pass the evaluation process will stimulate the development of deep learning and make generate profits for both corporations and universities. (Revised for clarity and coherence)

In conclusion, making deep learning more profit to corporations and universities.useful in society requires a collaborative effort from governments, corporations, and universities. By increasing government investment in research projects and encouraging corporate and university involvement in deep learning initiatives, we can accelerate the development of this promising technology and unlock its full potential to benefit various industries and society as a whole. (Revised for clarity and conciseness)

Essay statistics: {"words": 450, "unique_words": 246}

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Promote deep learning and make it more useful in society

  • Topic sentence 1: Increase government investment
    • Sub-topic: Financial support for research projects
      • Supporting example: Self-driving technology development
  • Topic sentence 2: Emphasize corporate and university involvement
    • Sub-topic: Potential revenue as a driving force
      • Supporting example: Tesla's rapid evolution due to competition
    • Sub-topic: Universities fostering cutting-edge ideas
      • Supporting example: Competitions encouraging students to propose new projects

• Conclusion: Collaborative effort from governments, corporations, and universities to accelerate deep learning development

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Governments can offer tax incentives for companies that invest in deep learning research, which would encourage more businesses to explore this field.

2. Collaborations between tech giants and educational institutions can lead to the development of new deep learning applications, such as personalized learning platforms that adapt to individual students' needs.

3. The healthcare industry can benefit from deep learning by using it to analyze medical data, leading to more accurate diagnoses and better treatment plans for patients.

4. Deep learning can be applied in the field of finance, where it can help predict market trends and assist in making more informed investment decisions.

5. Governments can use deep learning to improve public services, such as optimizing traffic light timings to reduce congestion and improve overall traffic flow in cities.