TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: AI gives education more than it hurt

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度: 3

• 文章结构与组织: 3

• 连贯性与衔接: 3

• 语言运用: 2

2.预估分数

• 总分: 20

3.任务完成度 你的文章基本上回答了题目，但是有些观点不够清晰。建议在论述时更加具体和明确，同时注意使用恰当的例子来支持你的观点。此外，尽量避免使用过于复杂的句子，以便让读者更容易理解你的意思。

示例1: 原文：Because AI stops students from thinking and does not give the best fit answers to students, I will consider that AI has harms more than its benefits. 修改：AI hinders students' critical thinking abilities and fails to provide personalized answers, which results in more harm than benefits for students.

示例2: 原文：The world can ends up not just by natural disasters, but more of the disadvantage AI bring to all human. 修改：The negative impact of AI on human society could be as detrimental as natural disasters if we continue to rely on it excessively.

4.文章结构与组织 文章整体结构可以再优化一下。首先，在引言部分可以简要介绍论文主题和论点。接下来，在正文部分逐一阐述你的观点，并提供相关证据或例子来支持你的论证。最后，在结论部分总结全文，并重申你的观点。同时，注意在段落之间使用恰当的过渡词或短语，以便让文章更加连贯。

示例1: 原文：First, using AI will prevent students from learning and thinking. 修改：Firstly, the reliance on AI can hinder students' learning process and critical thinking abilities.

示例2: 原文：On the other hand, some people might say that AI can helps students from learning, since they will give a lot of information to students other than teachers. 修改：However, some may argue that AI can assist students in their learning process by providing a wealth of information beyond what teachers can offer.

5. 语法批改

Have you ever been using AI to help doingto do('advise', 'help' and 'remind' used with gerund instead of infinitive) homework? Students are getting harder and harder homeworkshomework(misspelling), making them to rely on AI for giving the answers. Sometimes, students can even being catches up plagiarizing informationsinformation(legal term: informations) online. In my opinion, AI will not help students to learn, since it blocks students from thinking and will not give students the best fit answers to their questions.

First, using AI will prevent students from learning and thinking. When students have hard questions, they will search the answer and find the answer directly without thinking, making them to not memorize knowledge. For example, if teachers assign our class three essays, sixty mathsmath(misspelling) problems, and even five chapters to review, almost half of our class will be depressed and search answers online. Thus, searching answers online and using AI to help us answer questiona question(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) will not help us to learn.

Second, AI will not give the best answer to students, since they are not emotional. Unlike teachers, they will make tailored suggestions to students, because they know student’s thought and mood. On the other hand, AI will not consider as muchmany('much' + countable noun, e.g. 'much (many) children') emotions as teachers does, since they don’t have empathic capacity for students and they wouldn’t know students emotions. For example, when a student gets pressure before taking tests, a teacher might comfort her to relax and take a deep breath, whereas AI don’t, since they don’t understand what is emotions. Therefore, AI will not give the best suggestions to students.

On the other hand, some people might say that AI can helpshelp(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) students from learning, since they will give a lot of information to students other than teachers. However, in my perspective, the amount of homework being assigned does not equal to the getting of high grades, since students can ignore those informationsinformation(legal term: informations) or, or(comma between independent clauses) it might be too hard for them. It will still end up by searching answers online.

Because AI stops students from thinking and does not give the best fit answers to students, I will consider that AI has harms more than its benefits. If everyone areis(Detects potentially wrong usage of "are") using AI in the future, people might not give enough practices and then will not use their brain to think. The world can ends up not just by natural disasters, but more of the disadvantage AI bring to all human. So, let us stop using AI.

6.文章修订

Have you ever used AI to assist with homework? As homework becomes increasingly challenging, students often rely on AI for answers. Sometimes, they even get caught plagiarizing information online. In my opinion, AI does not facilitate learning, as it inhibits critical thinking and fails to provide tailored solutions to students' questions.

Firstly, the reliance on AI can hinder students' learning process and critical thinking abilities. When faced with difficult questions, students tend to search for answers online without attempting to solve the problem themselves. This approach prevents them from internalizing knowledge and developing problem-solving skills. For instance, if a teacher assigns three essays, sixty math problems, and five chapters for review, many students may feel overwhelmed and resort to searching for answers online. Consequently, using AI as a crutch does not promote genuine learning.

Secondly, AI cannot provide the most suitable answers for students because it lacks emotional intelligence. Unlike teachers who can offer personalized guidance based on their understanding of a student's thoughts and emotions, AI systems are incapable of empathizing with students or considering their emotional state when providing assistance. For example, when a student feels anxious before an exam, a teacher might comfort them by encouraging relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises. In contrast, an AI system would be unable to recognize the student's emotional distress or offer appropriate support. Therefore, AI cannot provide optimal guidance for students.

However, some may argue that AI can assist students in their learning process by providing a wealth of information beyond what teachers can offer. While this perspective has merit in terms of access to information resources, it is essential to recognize that the quantity of homework assigned does not necessarily correlate with academic success. Students may ignore excessive information or find it too difficult to comprehend fully without proper guidance from an educator.

In conclusion, I believe that the drawbacks of using AI in education outweigh its benefits due to its negative impact on critical thinking and its inability to provide personalized support. If society becomes overly reliant on AI, individuals may not develop essential problem-solving skills and critical thinking abilities. The consequences of excessive AI use could be as detrimental to human society as natural disasters. Therefore, it is crucial to prioritize traditional educational methods and limit our dependence on AI in the learning process. (389 words)

7.文章批改

Have you ever been using AI to help doing used AI to assist with homework? Students are getting harder and harder homeworks, making them to (Changed "using" to "used" and "doing" to "with" for proper grammar) As homework becomes increasingly challenging, students often rely on AI for giving the answers. (Rephrased the sentence for clarity) Sometimes, students can they even being catches up get caught plagiarizing informations information online. In my opinion, AI will does not help students to learn, since facilitate learning, as it blocks students inhibits critical thinking and fails to provide tailored solutions to students' questions. (Revised the sentence for better coherence)

Firstly, the reliance on AI can hinder students' learning process and critical thinking abilities. (Changed "using" to "the reliance on" for better word choice) When faced with difficult questions, students tend to search for answers online without attempting to solve the problem themselves. (Rewrote the sentence for clarity) This approach prevents them from thinking and will not give students the best fit answers to their questions. ¶ First, using AI will prevent students from learning and thinking. When students have hard questions, they will search the answer and find the answer directly without thinking, making them to not memorize knowledge. internalizing knowledge and developing problem-solving skills. For example, instance, if teachers assign our class a teacher assigns three essays, sixty maths math problems, and even five chapters to for review, almost half of our class will be depressed and search many students may feel overwhelmed and resort to searching for answers online. Thus, searching Consequently, using AI as a crutch does not promote genuine learning. (Improved sentence structure)

Secondly, AI cannot provide the most suitable answers online and using AI to help us answer question will not help us to learn. ¶ Second, AI will not give the best answer to students, since they for students because it lacks emotional intelligence. (Changed "best answer" to "most suitable answers" for better word choice) Unlike teachers who can offer personalized guidance based on their understanding of a student's thoughts and emotions, AI systems are not emotional. Unlike teachers, they will make tailored suggestions to students, because they know student’s thought and mood. On the other hand, AI will not consider as much emotions as teachers does, since they don’t have empathic capacity for students and they wouldn’t know students emotions. incapable of empathizing with students or considering their emotional state when providing assistance. (Revised the sentence structure) For example, when a student gets pressure feels anxious before taking tests, an exam, a teacher might comfort her to relax and take a them by encouraging relaxation techniques such as deep breath, whereas AI don’t, since they don’t understand what is emotions. breathing exercises. In contrast, an AI system would be unable to recognize the student's emotional distress or offer appropriate support. Therefore, AI will not give the best suggestions to cannot provide optimal guidance for students.

On the other hand, However, some people might say may argue that AI can helps students from learning, since they will give a lot assist students in their learning process by providing a wealth of information to students other than teachers. However, beyond what teachers can offer. (Rephrased the sentence for better coherence) While this perspective has merit in my perspective, the amount terms of access to information resources, it is essential to recognize that the quantity of homework being assigned does not equal to the getting of high grades, since students can necessarily correlate with academic success. (Improved sentence structure) Students may ignore those informations excessive information or find it might too difficult to comprehend fully without proper guidance from an educator. (Rewrote the sentence for clarity)

In conclusion, I believe that the drawbacks of using AI in education outweigh its benefits due to its negative impact on critical thinking and its inability to provide personalized support. (Revised the sentence for better coherence) If society becomes overly reliant on AI, individuals may not develop essential problem-solving skills and critical thinking abilities. The consequences of excessive AI use could be too hard for them. It will still end up by searching answers online. ¶ Because AI stops students from thinking and does not give the best fit answers to students, I will consider that AI has harms more than its benefits. If everyone are using as detrimental to human society as natural disasters. Therefore, it is crucial to prioritize traditional educational methods and limit our dependence on AI in the future, people might not give enough practices and then will not use their brain to think. The world can ends up not just by natural disasters, but more of the disadvantage AI bring to all human. So, let us stop using AI.learning process. (Improved sentence structure)

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: AI does not facilitate learning
  • Topic sentence 1: AI hinders critical thinking
    • Sub-topic: Students search for answers online
      • Supporting example: Overwhelmed students rely on AI for answers
  • Topic sentence 2: AI lacks emotional intelligence
    • Sub-topic: Teachers provide personalized guidance
      • Supporting example: Teachers comforting anxious students before exams
  • Counterargument: AI provides a wealth of information
    • Sub-topic: Quantity of homework and academic success correlation
      • Supporting example: Students ignoring excessive information
  • Conclusion: Prioritize traditional educational methods

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Sub-opinion: AI lacks creativity

   • Explanation: AI systems cannot generate original ideas
   • Supporting example: Teachers can inspire students with creative projects, while AI can only provide predefined solutions.

2. Sub-opinion: AI cannot adapt to individual learning styles

   • Explanation: Students have diverse learning preferences and needs
   • Supporting example: A teacher can adjust their teaching methods based on a student's learning style, whereas AI systems may not be as flexible.

3. Sub-opinion: Overreliance on AI may lead to privacy concerns

   • Explanation: The use of AI in education often involves collecting personal data
   • Supporting example: Data breaches or misuse of information could harm students' privacy and security.

4. Sub-opinion: AI cannot replace the human connection in education

   • Explanation: Building relationships with teachers and peers is essential for students' social development
   • Supporting example: An AI system cannot replicate the sense of belonging and support that comes from interacting with teachers and classmates.

5. Sub-opinion: Excessive use of AI may contribute to digital addiction

   • Explanation: Constant reliance on technology may lead to unhealthy habits and screen time overuse.
   • Supporting example: Encouraging traditional learning methods can help students maintain a healthy balance between technology use and offline activities.