TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: You may summarize the points made in the lecture being sure to explain how they Challenge the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 3 组织: 3 连贯性和衔接: 3 语言使用: 2

2.预估分数

20. 3.任务完成度

虽然你的文章回应了题目要求，但是在对阅读和听力材料的总结方面还有待提高。首先，需要更清晰地表达出听力材料中教授对阅读材料观点的反驳。其次，在举例时要确保与原文中的信息保持一致。

改进建议示例：

1. 将 "However, the lecturer retorts this idea by highlight that it has negative economy." 改为 "However, the lecturer counters this point by arguing that the economic benefits may be offset by higher electricity costs for local residents."

2. 将 "Therefore, constructing turbines in the fresh water is not worthful." 改为 "Therefore, the potential maintenance costs associated with ice damage could outweigh the benefits of reduced corrosion."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面需要加强。虽然你使用了引言、主体和结论的基本结构，但是在段落内部，需要更清晰地陈述观点，并在段落之间使用恰当的过渡词或短语来增强连贯性。

改进建议示例：

1. 在第二段开头添加过渡词，如："Furthermore" 或 "In addition"。

2. 在第三段中使用更清晰的论点陈述，例如："Lastly, the author argues that wind turbines would help conserve water by replacing coal and natural gas power plants. However, the lecturer raises concerns about potential negative impacts on water quality due to lubricant oil leaks from the turbines."

3. 语法批改

The author of the reading passage encourages people buildto build(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) a wind turbine in the Great Lakes and puts forward 3 benefits to prove this idea. While the professor in the listening challenges all of 3the 3(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) notions because this action will cause more risks than the benefits.

First, according to the reading passage, the wind turbines contribute to the local economy, such as providing jobs to the local residents. However, the lecturer retorts this idea by highlight that it has negative economy. For instance, several companies invest large amount of money to construct the wind turbine, it will cost high money and spend much time. Due to the investment, companies have to enhance the price of electricity to keep the cost, the residents which live nearby the Great Lakes have to accept high price of electricity more than 15 years in the future.

Moreover, the writer emphasize that the Great Lakes is a freshwater lake, in hence, it has less corrosive to the turbines than the ocean. In contrast, the professor asserts that fresh water causes more drawbacks to the turbines. This is because, fresh water is easier freezeto freeze(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) than the salt water, thereby, these ices will damage the turbines frequently and even crack them. Therefore, constructing turbines in the fresh water is not worthfulyouthful(misspelling).

At last, the writer supposesupposes(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) that this action is beneficial to reduce the water use and can replace other energy use, such as coal and gas energy. However, these turbines will also damage the water quality by the lubricant oil, using for the wind turbines. Consequently, the lubricant oil flow into the lake, which sustain many of people water resource in this area.

6.文章修订

The author of the reading passage advocates for building wind turbines in the Great Lakes, presenting three benefits to support this idea. However, the professor in the listening challenges all three notions, arguing that the risks outweigh the potential advantages.

Firstly, the reading passage claims that wind turbines would significantly benefit the local economy by providing jobs for local residents. In contrast, the lecturer contends that there would be negative economic impacts as well. For instance, constructing wind turbines requires substantial investment from companies. To recover these high initial costs, electricity prices for area residents would have to increase, remaining higher for approximately 15 years.

Furthermore, the author emphasizes that freshwater lakes like the Great Lakes have an advantage over ocean locations due to less corrosion on turbines. However, the professor asserts that freshwater environments present their own challenges. Specifically, freshwater freezes more easily than saltwater, which could lead to ice buildup on turbine bases during cold weather. This added weight may cause severe damage or even cracking of turbines, potentially resulting in higher maintenance costs than those associated with ocean-based wind turbines.

Lastly, while the author argues that wind turbines would help conserve water by replacing coal and natural gas power plants, the lecturer raises concerns about potential negative impacts on water quality due to lubricant oil leaks from turbines. If even a single turbine experiences a problem and releases thousands of liters of lubricant oil into a lake, it could severely degrade water quality and affect millions of people who rely on these lakes for their drinking water supply. (262 words)

7.文章批改

The author of the reading passage encourages people build a wind turbine advocates for building wind turbines in the Great Lakes and puts forward 3 Lakes, presenting three benefits to prove support this idea. While (clarified the author's position) However, the professor in the listening challenges all of 3 notions because this action will cause more three notions, arguing that the risks than the benefits. outweigh the potential advantages. (summarized lecturer's stance)

First, according to Firstly, the reading passage, the passage claims that wind turbines contribute to would significantly benefit the local economy, such as economy by providing jobs to the for local residents. However, (improved coherence) In contrast, the lecturer retorts this idea by highlight that it has contends that there would be negative economy. economic impacts as well. (smooth transition) For instance, several companies invest large amount of money to construct the wind turbine, it will cost constructing wind turbines requires substantial investment from companies. (enhanced vocabulary) To recover these high money and spend much time. Due to the investment, companies initial costs, electricity prices for area residents would have to enhance the price of electricity to keep the cost, the residents which live nearby increase, remaining higher for approximately 15 years. (clarified time frame)

Furthermore, the author emphasizes that freshwater lakes like the Great Lakes have to accept high price of electricity more than 15 years in the future. ¶ Moreover, the writer emphasize that the Great Lakes is a freshwater lake, in hence, it has an advantage over ocean locations due to less corrosive to the turbines than the ocean. In contrast, corrosion on turbines. (improved sentence structure) However, the professor asserts that fresh freshwater environments present their own challenges. (smooth transition) Specifically, freshwater freezes more easily than saltwater, which could lead to ice buildup on turbine bases during cold weather. (clarified issue with ice buildup) This added weight may cause severe damage or even cracking of turbines, potentially resulting in higher maintenance costs than those associated with ocean-based wind turbines. (expanded explanation)

Lastly, while the author argues that wind turbines would help conserve water causes more drawbacks to the turbines. This is because, fresh water is easier freeze than the salt water, thereby, these ices will damage the turbines frequently and even crack them. Therefore, constructing turbines in the fresh water is not worthful. ¶ At last, the writer suppose that this action is beneficial to reduce the water use and can replace other energy use, such as by replacing coal and natural gas energy. However, these turbines will also damage the power plants, (summarized author's point) the lecturer raises concerns about potential negative impacts on water quality by the lubricant oil, using for the wind turbines. Consequently, the due to lubricant oil flow leaks from turbines. (smooth transition) If even a single turbine experiences a problem and releases thousands of liters of lubricant oil into the a lake, which sustain many it could severely degrade water quality and affect millions of people who rely on these lakes for their drinking water resource in this area.supply. (enhanced vocabulary and clarified consequences)

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Reading passage: Advocates for wind turbines in Great Lakes
  • Listening passage: Challenges benefits and highlights risks

• Point 1: Local economy

  • Reading: Job creation
  • Listening: Higher electricity costs for residents

• Point 2: Freshwater vs. saltwater corrosion

  • Reading: Less corrosion in freshwater lakes
  • Listening: Ice buildup and damage in freshwater environments

• Point 3: Water conservation and quality

  • Reading: Replacing coal and natural gas power plants, conserving water
  • Listening: Potential negative impacts on water quality due to lubricant oil leaks

9.关键词