TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: This week, we will be discussing retail sales.One popular modelof retailis“superstores”--very large stores, typically owned by corporations-that sell many kinds of different products. We will compare this business model to local retailers typically small or specialized stores with local owners,such as a camera shop or a small neighborhood grocery store. Do you think it is more beneficial for people to shop at small loca stores rather than at superstores? Why ？ Kelly Shopping at smalllocal stores benefits consumers in many ways.One of the benefits is that small stores often offer better services than large stores. For example if you need your bicycle repaired, usually the small shop can do it right there in the shop. At the large stores, they have to send it to the manufacturer to be repaired. Andrew Although Iunderstand the importance of shopping at small stores to support the local community, there are obvious benefits to shopping at superstores. Because large retailers procure products in bulk, they can offer their customers a wide variety of products, usually at low prices.So, by shopping at large stores, consumers get better value for their money.

1.子项得分 任务完成度：3 组织：3 连贯与衔接：3 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

20. 3.任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现一般。虽然作者提到了超市和小商店的优缺点，但没有充分利用阅读和听力材料中的信息。为了提高任务完成度，建议你更加关注阅读和听力材料中的细节，并在文章中加入更多相关信息。

例如：

• 在讨论小商店优势时，可以引用Kelly所说的关于自行车修理的例子。

• 在讨论超市优势时，可以引用Andrew所说的关于大量采购降低价格的观点。

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构方面有待改进。虽然有简单的引言、主体和结论，但段落之间缺乏明确的过渡。建议使用过渡词或短语来连接不同段落，并确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题句。

例如：

• 在讨论小商店优势时，可以使用过渡词如“首先”或“一方面”来开始段落。

• 在讨论超市优势时，可以使用过渡词如“然而”或“另一方面”来开始段落。

5. 语法批改

From my point of view, I believe that superstores are more beneficial to people. Because superstores can offer a variety of types of products and low prices. And, because of the amount of funding to support the operations of the stores, the superstores are likely to perform better than smaller, local stores. Although small stores could offer different kinds of services to people, they were vulnerable to bankruptcy due to a lack of stable economic resources. As a result, small stores are not guaranteed to provide services. But, at the supermarket, there are no problems to worry about. They will not simply shut down. At the same time, the larger stores will offer customers a variety of different items and full after-sales service. So it is only in the superstores that people have so many opportunities to find long-term services. In conclusion, I claim that it is better for people to shop at superstores.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

Revised Essay:

In my perspective, superstores provide greater benefits to consumers compared to small local stores. The primary advantage of superstores lies in their ability to offer a diverse range of products at competitive prices. Due to their substantial financial backing, these large-scale establishments are more likely to thrive and maintain consistent operations, unlike smaller retailers that may struggle with limited resources.

While it is true that small stores can deliver personalized services, their susceptibility to bankruptcy and closure cannot be ignored. In contrast, superstores offer a sense of stability and assurance for customers who need not worry about the sudden discontinuation of services or products. Furthermore, these large retailers provide comprehensive after-sales support, enhancing the overall shopping experience for consumers.

The vast selection of items available at superstores allows individuals to find everything they need under one roof, saving time and effort. Additionally, the economies of scale enable these establishments to procure goods in bulk, resulting in lower prices for customers seeking better value for their money.

In light of these factors, I assert that shopping at superstores is more advantageous for people due to the variety of products offered, competitive pricing, and long-term stability provided by such establishments. (203 words)

From In my perspective, superstores provide greater benefits to consumers compared to small local stores (Changed "From my point of view, I believe that superstores are more beneficial to people. Because people" to make it sound more natural). The primary advantage of superstores lies in their ability to offer a diverse range of products at competitive prices (Reworded "Because superstores can offer a variety of types of products and low prices. And, prices" for clarity). Due to their substantial financial backing, these large-scale establishments are more likely to thrive and maintain consistent operations, unlike smaller retailers that may struggle with limited resources (Rephrased "And, because of the amount of funding to support the operations of the stores, the superstores are likely to perform better than smaller, local stores. Although stores" for better flow).

While it is true that small stores can deliver personalized services, their susceptibility to bankruptcy and closure cannot be ignored (Revised "Although small stores could offer different kinds of services to people, they were vulnerable to bankruptcy due to a lack of stable economic resources. As a result, small stores are resources" for clarity and consistency). In contrast, superstores offer a sense of stability and assurance for customers who need not guaranteed to provide services. But, worry about the sudden discontinuation of services or products (Reworded "But, at the supermarket, there are no problems to worry about. They will not simply shut down. At down" for better flow). Furthermore, these large retailers provide comprehensive after-sales support, enhancing the overall shopping experience for consumers (Added this sentence for better transition).

The vast selection of items available at superstores allows individuals to find everything they need under one roof, saving time and effort (Rephrased "At the same time, the larger stores will offer customers a variety of different items and full after-sales service. So it service" for clarity). Additionally, the economies of scale enable these establishments to procure goods in bulk, resulting in lower prices for customers seeking better value for their money (Added this sentence as an additional advantage of superstores).

In light of these factors, I assert that shopping at superstores is only in the superstores that more advantageous for people have so many opportunities to find due to the variety of products offered, competitive pricing, and long-term services. In stability provided by such establishments (Revised "In conclusion, I claim that it is better for people to shop at superstores.superstores" for a stronger conclusion).

8. Mind Map

9. Keywords