TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarze the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific arquments presented in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 4 Organization: 3 Coherence and Cohesion: 3 Language Use: 3

2.预估分数 Estimated Score: 22

3.任务完成度 任务完成度方面，你的文章基本上涵盖了阅读和听力中的观点，并且对它们进行了比较。但是，你可以更详细地解释听力中的论点是如何挑战阅读中的论点的。例如，你可以使用更多具体的例子和细节来支持听力中提到的观点。

示例1（英文）: Instead of just saying "the professor claimed that most of the heart problem happened on the people who already have heart disease," you could explain that the professor mentioned that cardiac complications occurred in men who already had heart problems or in men who did not exercise regularly, emphasizing the importance of doctor's screening and consistent exercise.

示例2（英文）: Rather than simply stating "people can burn more energy by jogging if they cost same time," you could provide specific information from the listening, such as mentioning that a person who jogs for 30 minutes can cover more distance than a person who walks for 30 minutes, leading to more calories burned and more efficient exercise.

4.文章结构与组织 In terms of organization, your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, you could improve the coherence and cohesion by using better transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, try to avoid repeating words or phrases too often.

Example 1 (English): Instead of starting each paragraph with "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally," try using different transition words or phrases, such as "To begin with," "Moreover," and "In addition."

Example 2 (English): To improve cohesion, you could use synonyms or rephrase certain words. For example, instead of repeating "the professor" multiple times, you could use "the lecturer" or "the speaker" to add variety to your writing.

5. 语法批改

In the passage, the author suggested that some physicians and public health officials have expressed concerns that jogging may not be medically safe. However, in the listening the professor argued that the passage dismissed it, and she said that jogging is the best exercise. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))Firstly, the reading maintain that the main health concern about the safety of jogging is the athe(Two consecutive articles, e.g. 'the a') mount of strain it places on heart. When people jogging, their hearts work faster to send enough blood and oxygen to the muscles in body. However, in the reading, the professor claimed that most of the heart problem happened on the people who already have heart disease. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))Secondly, the reading held that the safety of jogging amount of strain it places on the joints such as ankles, knees, and hips is harmful. In the listening, the professor disputed it. She suggested that the strain placesplaced(Detects potentially wrong usage of "places" instead of "placed") on the joints is good thing. It makes the muscles around the joints work harder and become stronger, so that they can protect the joints better. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))Finally, the passage claimed that there are equally effective but safer exercise alternatives, such as walking. But in the listening, the professor considered jogging as a more efficient exercise than walking, people can burn more energy by jogging if they cost same time. Jogging is a fitter and healthier exercise.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

In the passage, the author suggests that some physicians and public health officials have expressed concerns about the medical safety of jogging. However, in the listening, the professor argues against this notion and states that jogging is one of the best forms of exercise.

Firstly, the reading maintains that a primary health concern regarding jogging is the amount of strain it places on the heart. When people jog, their hearts work faster to send enough blood and oxygen to their muscles. In contrast, the professor in the listening claims that most heart problems occur in individuals who already have heart disease or do not exercise regularly.

Secondly, the reading asserts that jogging can be harmful due to the amount of strain it places on joints such as ankles, knees, and hips. However, in the listening, the professor disputes this claim. She suggests that some strain on joints is beneficial as it forces surrounding muscles to work harder and become stronger. Consequently, these stronger muscles can better protect and support joints.

Lastly, while the passage claims there are equally effective but safer exercise alternatives like walking available for individuals seeking physical activity; in contrast, during her lecture, she considers jogging a more efficient form of exercise than walking. The professor explains that people can burn more calories by jogging within a given time frame compared to walking. Therefore, from a public health perspective, she believes jogging is a fitter and healthier option for exercise. (246 words)

In the passage, the author suggested suggests that some physicians and public health officials have expressed concerns that jogging may about the medical safety of jogging (Changed "suggested" to "suggests" and "may not be medically safe. safe" to "about the medical safety of jogging" for clarity). However, in the listening listening, the professor argued that the passage dismissed it, and she said argues against this notion (Replaced "dismissed it" with "argues against this notion" for better expression) and states that jogging is one of the best forms of exercise.

Firstly, the reading maintain that the main maintains that a primary health concern about the safety of regarding jogging is the a mount amount of strain it places on heart. the heart (Corrected "the main health concern about" to "a primary health concern regarding"). When people jogging, jog, their hearts work faster to send enough blood and oxygen to the their muscles in body. However, in the reading, (Changed "jogging" to "jog"). In contrast, the professor claimed in the listening claims that most of the heart problem happened on the people problems occur in individuals who already have heart disease. disease or do not exercise regularly (Reworded sentence for clarity).

Secondly, the reading held that the safety of jogging asserts that jogging can be harmful due to the amount of strain it places on the joints such as ankles, knees, and hips is harmful. In hips. However, in the listening, the professor disputed it. disputes this claim (Changed "disputed it" to "disputes this claim"). She suggested that the suggests that some strain places on the joints is good thing. It makes the beneficial as it forces surrounding muscles around the joints to work harder and become stronger, so that they stronger (Reworded sentence for clarity). Consequently, these stronger muscles can better protect the joints better. and support joints.

Finally, Lastly, while the passage claimed that claims there are equally effective but safer exercise alternatives, such as walking. But in the listening, the professor considered jogging as alternatives like walking available for individuals seeking physical activity; in contrast, during her lecture (Added ", during her lecture," for clarity), she considers jogging a more efficient form of exercise than walking, walking. The professor explains that people can burn more energy calories by jogging if they cost same time. Jogging within a given time frame compared to walking. Therefore, from a public health perspective (Added ", from a public health perspective," for emphasis), she believes jogging is a fitter and healthier option for exercise.

8. Mind Map

• Essay Structure
  • Introduction
    • Reading: concerns about jogging
    • Listening: professor's counterarguments
  • Point 1: strain on the heart
    • Reading: heart works faster, potential risks
    • Listening: heart problems mostly in inactive individuals or those with pre-existing conditions
  • Point 2: strain on joints
    • Reading: harmful effects on ankles, knees, and hips
    • Listening: some strain is beneficial, strengthens muscles around joints
  • Point 3: alternative exercises
    • Reading: walking as a safer option
    • Listening: jogging is more efficient, burns more calories

9. Keywords