TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture being sure to explain how they respond to the specificpoints made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：4 连贯性和衔接：4 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，你的文章在任务完成度方面表现不错，能够总结阅读和听力材料中的观点，并解释它们是如何相互回应的。但是，为了更好地完成任务，建议你更详细地解释听力材料中提到的观点，并更清楚地说明它们是如何反驳阅读材料中的论点的。此外，在引用听力材料时，请确保使用准确的术语和细节。

示例1： 原文：However, according to the professor, they can stay in the air with the support of warm currents of air that rise up in the air instead of the normal currents of air. 改进：However, according to the professor, they can stay in the air by catching thermals, which are warm currents of air that rise up into the atmosphere.

示例2： 原文：Therefore, the birds have found food in a large area, which the ability to fly could help them to cover a long distance. 改进：Therefore, flying would have been beneficial for Argentavis magnificens as it allowed them to cover large distances necessary for successful scavenging.

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构基本上是清晰的，包括引言、正文和结论。每个段落都集中讨论了一个具体的观点，并提供了支持细节。然而，为了提高文章的组织和连贯性，建议你在段落之间使用更明确的过渡词或短语。此外，确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题句，以帮助读者更好地理解你的论点。

示例1： 原文：First and foremost, the writer of the essay claims that the birds could not fly due to the problem of lifting into the air. 改进：To begin with, the reading passage claims that Argentavis magnificens could not fly due to the problem of lifting off into the air.

示例2： 原文：Moreover, the reading puts forward that the birds were not equipped with muscle that is strong enough to keep their wings flapping fast during the flight. 改进：In addition, the reading passage argues that Argentavis magnificens lacked sufficient muscle strength to maintain continuous flight by flapping its wings.

5. 语法批改

(Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))Both the reading and listening materials are discussing about Argentavisdiscussing Argentavis(Collocation: consider (about)) magnificensmagnificent(misspelling), a large bird that could weigh up to 68 kilograms that used to live on Earth. The reading introduces three general beliefs about the bird’s capability of flying during its evolution. However, according to the professor, there are problems with each of the points presented in the passage. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))First and foremost, the writer of the essay claims that the birds could not fly due to the problem of lifting into the air. Since they had long wings, with the wingspan closer to seven meters, they could hardly take off without its wings hitting the ground in a standing position. However, the problem with this idea, as the professor explains, is that the bird could have taken off in otherthe other(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) position. As they were born with large foot and fibrefiber(misspelling) bones, it is possible for them to stretch out their wings, starting to take off by running down a small hillsa small hill(Agreement: 'a' + plural word) and then lift out. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))Moreover, the reading puts forward that the birds were not equipped with muscle that is strong enough to keep their wings flapping fast during the flight. However, according to the professor, they can stay in the air with the support of warm currents of air that rise up in the air instead of the normal currents of air. Thus, the current enables them to stay in the air without flapping their wings, just like the eagles who are capable of flying for hours without moving their wings. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))Finally, the author of the article mentions that the birds did not flyfly,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) as the ability to fly can not be beneficial for the ArgentavisArgenteuil(misspelling) magnificensmagnificent(misspelling) to survive. Given thatthat,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) the birds could neither escape from predators nor hunt for food with the ability to fly. Thus, they could have lost the ability during the evolution. However, this idea is refuted by the professor, who points out that the birds are scavengers, which are fed on the animals that have already been preyedprayed(Detects potentially wrong usage of "preyed" instead of "prayed") and eaten by other animals. Therefore, the birds have found food in a large area, which the ability to fly could help them to cover a long distance.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

 Both the reading and listening materials discuss Argentavis magnificens, a large bird weighing up to 68 kilograms that once inhabited Earth. The reading presents three arguments regarding the bird's ability to fly during its evolution. However, the professor in the listening passage disputes each of these points.

 Firstly, the author of the reading asserts that these birds could not fly due to difficulties in lifting off into the air. With a wingspan of nearly seven meters, it would be challenging for them to take off without their wings hitting the ground from a standing position. However, the professor counters this argument by suggesting that the bird could have adopted an alternative method for taking off. Possessing large feet and strong thigh bones, it is plausible that they could stretch out their wings and initiate flight by running down small hills before lifting off.

 Furthermore, the reading posits that Argentavis magnificens lacked sufficient muscle strength to maintain continuous flight by flapping its wings rapidly. Nonetheless, according to the professor, they could remain airborne by utilizing thermals - warm currents of air rising into the atmosphere - instead of relying solely on wing flapping. This method would enable them to glide for extended periods without moving their wings, similar to how eagles and condors fly.

 Lastly, the article's author contends that flying would not have provided any survival advantages for Argentavis magnificens; hence they might have lost this ability during their evolution. The birds' size made escaping predators unnecessary, and their presumed clumsiness in flight would render hunting inefficient. Contrarily, the professor refutes this notion by highlighting that these birds were scavengers feeding on already dead animals rather than hunting live prey. Consequently, flying would have been advantageous for covering vast distances necessary for successful scavenging in search of food sources.

(302 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 6.文章修订

Both the reading and listening materials are discussing about discuss Argentavis magnificens, a large bird that could weigh weighing up to 68 kilograms that used to live on Earth. once inhabited Earth (changed "discussing about" to "discuss" for proper grammar). The reading introduces presents three general beliefs about the bird’s capability of flying arguments regarding the bird's ability to fly during its evolution. However, according to the professor, there are problems with the professor in the listening passage disputes each of the points presented in the passage. these points.

First and foremost, the writer of the essay claims that the Firstly, the author of the reading asserts that these birds could not fly due to the difficulties in lifting off into the air (rephrased "the problem of lifting into the air. Since they had long wings, with the air" for clarity). With a wingspan closer to of nearly seven meters, they could hardly it would be challenging for them to take off without its their wings hitting the ground in from a standing position. However, the problem with professor counters this idea, as the professor explains, is argument by suggesting that the bird could have taken adopted an alternative method for taking off (rephrased "taken off in other position. As they were born with position" for clarity). Possessing large foot and fibre feet and strong thigh bones, it is possible for them to plausible that they could stretch out their wings, starting to take off wings and initiate flight by running down a small hills and then lift out. before lifting off.

Moreover, Furthermore, the reading puts forward that the birds were not equipped with posits that Argentavis magnificens lacked sufficient muscle that is strong enough to keep their strength to maintain continuous flight by flapping its wings flapping fast during the flight. However, rapidly. Nonetheless, according to the professor, they can stay in the air with the support of could remain airborne by utilizing thermals - warm currents of air rising into the atmosphere - instead of relying solely on wing flapping (clarified "warm currents of air that rise up in the air instead of the normal currents of air. Thus, the current enables air" as "thermals"). This method would enable them to stay in the air without flapping their wings, just like the eagles who are capable of flying for hours glide for extended periods without moving their wings. wings, similar to how eagles and condors fly.

Finally, the Lastly, the article's author of the article mentions that the birds did contends that flying would not fly as the ability to fly can not be beneficial for the have provided any survival advantages for Argentavis magnificens to survive. Given that the birds could neither escape from predators nor hunt for food with the ability to fly. Thus, magnificens; hence they could might have lost the this ability during the evolution. However, their evolution (rephrased "they could have lost" as "they might have lost" for a more accurate representation of the author's argument). The birds' size made escaping predators unnecessary, and their presumed clumsiness in flight would render hunting inefficient. Contrarily, the professor refutes this idea is refuted by the professor, who points out that the notion by highlighting that these birds are scavengers, which are fed were scavengers feeding on the already dead animals rather than hunting live prey (clarified "animals that have already been preyed and eaten by other animals. Therefore, the birds have found animals" as "already dead animals"). Consequently, flying would have been advantageous for covering vast distances necessary for successful scavenging in search of food in a large area, which the ability to fly could help them to cover a long distance.sources.

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Argentavis magnificens
  - Reading and listening materials

- Point 1: Lifting off difficulties
  - Reading: Wingspan too large, difficulty taking off
  - Listening: Large feet, strong thigh bones, running down hills to take off

- Point 2: Muscle strength and continuous flight
  - Reading: Insufficient muscle strength for rapid wing flapping
  - Listening: Utilizing thermals for gliding, similar to eagles and condors

- Point 3: Survival advantages of flying
  - Reading: No need to escape predators or hunt efficiently due to size and clumsiness in flight
  - Listening: Scavengers feeding on dead animals, flying advantageous for covering vast distances searching for food sources

9. Keywords