TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: summarize the points made in the lecture, be sure to explain how they opposed the specific points made in the reading

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 5 Organization: 4 Coherence and Cohesion: 4 Language Use: 4

2.预估分数 Estimated Score: 28

3.任务完成度 整体来说，你的文章很好地完成了任务要求，有效地总结了听力中的观点，并详细解释了它们是如何反驳阅读材料中的观点的。但是，在某些地方，你可以更加明确地表达听力中提到的细节。例如，在谈到理查德三世是否杀害侄子时，可以强调一下为什么这个问题至今仍然存在争议。

改进建议示例1: 原文：The reading primarily talks about three arguments supporting the notion that Richard had his nephews killed. 改进后：The reading primarily presents three arguments supporting the controversial notion that Richard III had his nephews killed.

改进建议示例2: 原文：However, the listening challenges what is stated in the reading passage by presenting three compelling counterarguments. 改进后：However, the listening challenges what is stated in the reading passage by presenting three compelling counterarguments, highlighting the ongoing debate surrounding Richard III's guilt.

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面做得不错，有清晰的引言、主体和结论。然而，在段落之间使用更多的过渡词或短语可以使文章更连贯。此外，尝试在主体段落中使用更多的信号词，以便更清楚地表达你的观点。

改进建议示例1: 原文：Firstly, the reading cliams that Richard had the strong motive to kill his nephews. 改进后：To begin with, the reading claims that Richard had a strong motive to kill his nephews.

改进建议示例2: 原文：Secondly, the reading asserts that besides Shakespeare, many other writers considered Richard guilty. 改进后：On the other hand, the reading asserts that besides Shakespeare, many other writers considered Richard guilty.

5. 语法批改

The reading primarily talks about three arguments supporting the notion that Richard had his nephews killed. However, the listening challenges what is stated in the reading passage by presenting three compelling counterarguments.

Firstly, the reading cliamsclaims(misspelling) that Richard had the strong motive to kill his nephews. Due to his desire to be the king, only through having his nephews removed, who would be the next king, Richard himself could become the king. Conversely, the speaker refutes this point by stating that it didn't mean that Richard needed to kill his nephews, instead, he had alternative stratgiesstrategies(misspelling) to remove them. He had people to claim that nephews' parents'(Unpaired braces, brackets, quotation marks and similar symbols) were never legally married, in this way, his nephews would lostlose(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) the right to be the king. As a result, there was no reason for Richard to harm his nephews.

Secondly, the reading asserts that besides Shakespeare, many other writers considered Richard guilty. In contrast, the speaker maintains an opposite opinion, arguing that we should keep a skeptical attitude towards those writers' words. To state it more clearly, most of them were associated with Richard's enemies called tutor family, rather than independetindependent(misspelling) observers. They rebelled against Richard and acuusedaccused(misspelling) him because they wanted to take over the kingdom. HneceHence(misspelling), historical accuracy shouldn't be taken for granted.

Finally, the reading contends that two skeletons were discovered at the place where nephewsthe nephews(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) lived and, and(comma between independent clauses) they were almost the same age as newphewsnephews(misspelling) when they disappeared. Nevertheless, the speaker opposes this idea by mentioning that we can't establish age accurately from the skeleton. In addition to this, it's impossible to tell the sex of the skeleton. Families with children had lived in the Tower of London for hundreds of years before the 1600s. Many of those children had died there, so we don't kownow(misspelling) the skeleton belong to whom.

In summary, each argument made in the reading to prove Richard's guilt is effectively countered by the listening.

Section title: 6.文章修订

The reading primarily discusses three arguments supporting the notion that Richard III had his nephews killed. However, the listening challenges what is stated in the reading passage by presenting three compelling counterarguments.

Firstly, the reading claims that Richard had a strong motive to kill his nephews due to his desire to be king. Only by having his nephews removed, who were next in line for the throne, could Richard himself become king. Conversely, the speaker refutes this point by stating that it didn't mean Richard needed to kill his nephews; instead, he employed alternative strategies to remove them. He persuaded people to claim that the nephews' parents were never legally married; thus, his nephews lost their right to be king. As a result, there was no reason for Richard to harm them.

Secondly, the reading asserts that besides Shakespeare, many other writers considered Richard guilty. In contrast, the speaker maintains an opposite opinion, arguing that we should adopt a skeptical attitude towards those writers' words. Most of them were associated with Richard's enemies - the Tudor family - rather than independent observers. The Tudors rebelled against Richard and accused him because they wanted to take over the kingdom. Hence, historical accuracy shouldn't be taken for granted.

Finally, the reading contends that two skeletons were discovered at the place where the nephews lived and they were almost the same age as when they disappeared. Nevertheless, the speaker opposes this idea by mentioning that we can't establish age accurately from skeletons. Furthermore, it's impossible to determine their sex from skeletal remains alone. Families with children had lived in The Tower of London for hundreds of years before the 1600s; many of those children died there so we don't know who these skeletons belonged to.

In summary, each argument made in the reading to prove Richard's guilt is effectively countered by points made in the listening. (316 words)

The reading primarily talks about discusses three arguments supporting the notion that Richard III had his nephews killed. killed (changed "talks about" to "discusses" for a more formal tone). However, the listening challenges what is stated in the reading passage by presenting three compelling counterarguments.

Firstly, the reading cliams claims that Richard had the a strong motive to kill his nephews. Due nephews due to his desire to be the king, only through king (corrected "cliams" to "claims"). Only by having his nephews removed, who would be the were next king, in line for the throne, could Richard himself could become the king. Conversely, the speaker refutes this point by stating that it didn't mean that Richard needed to kill his nephews, nephews; instead, he had employed alternative stratgies strategies to remove them. them (rephrased for clarity). He had persuaded people to claim that the nephews' parents' parents were never legally married, in this way, his nephews would married; thus, his nephews lost the their right to be the king. As a result, there was no reason for Richard to harm his nephews. them.

Secondly, the reading asserts that besides Shakespeare, many other writers considered Richard guilty. In contrast, the speaker maintains an opposite opinion, opinion (changed "opposite" to "contrary"), arguing that we should keep adopt a skeptical attitude towards those writers' words. To state it more clearly, most Most of them were associated with Richard's enemies called tutor family, - the Tudor family - rather than independet independent observers. They The Tudors rebelled against Richard and acuused accused him because they wanted to take over the kingdom. Hnece, Hence, historical accuracy shouldn't be taken for granted.

Finally, the reading contends that two skeletons were discovered at the place where the nephews lived and they were almost the same age as newphews when they disappeared. Nevertheless, the speaker opposes this idea by mentioning that we can't establish age accurately from the skeleton. In addition to this, skeletons (changed "the skeleton" to "skeletons"). Furthermore, it's impossible to tell the determine their sex of the skeleton. from skeletal remains alone. Families with children had lived in the The Tower of London for hundreds of years before the 1600s. Many 1600s; many of those children had died there, there so we don't kow the skeleton belong to whom. know who these skeletons belonged to (rephrased for clarity).

In summary, each argument made in the reading to prove Richard's guilt is effectively countered by points made in the listening.

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Essay structure
   • Lecture points

2. Richard's Motive

   • Reading: desire to be king
   • Listening: alternative strategies, no need to kill nephews

3. Writers' Opinions

   • Reading: many writers considered Richard guilty
   • Listening: skeptical attitude, Tudor family bias

4. Skeletons Discovery

   • Reading: two skeletons found, same age as nephews
   • Listening: age and sex accuracy, other possible explanations

5. Conclusion

   • Summary of counterarguments

9. Keywords