TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, be insured to explain how they cast doubt on the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：4 连贯与衔接：4 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，你的文章回答了题目要求，但在某些方面还有待提高。首先，在论述教授的观点时，尽量避免直接引用原文中的表述，而是用自己的话来解释。其次，在涉及到具体研究或数据时，可以详细描述一下这些研究的内容和结果，以增强论证力度。

示例1： 原文：“He says that this program only focuses on the result, but when we concentrate in a long period, we will find that a lot of people may start smoke and gain weight again.” 修改后：“The professor points out that although the program initially shows positive results, over an extended period, many participants tend to revert to their old habits, such as smoking and gaining weight.”

示例2： 原文：“Often before companies gain financial benefits from the programs, their employees have left.” 修改后：“The professor argues that by the time companies start to see financial benefits from these programs, many employees have already left for other job opportunities.”

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构基本清晰，每段都有明确的主题和支持细节。但在组织上还有一些改进空间。首先，在引入段落中可以简要概括阅读材料和听力材料的主要观点，以便为读者提供背景信息。其次，在文章的结尾部分可以加入一个总结段落，对全文进行简要概括和呈现论点。

示例1： 原文：“According to the reading passaage, some companies develop "wellness" programs, and there are three arguments in favor of the incentive programs. However, the lecture questions all the arguments, saying that they are not good ideas.” 修改后：“The reading passage presents three arguments in favor of wellness incentive programs implemented by some companies. In contrast, the lecture casts doubt on these arguments and contends that such programs may not be as beneficial as claimed.”

示例2： 添加一个总结段落：“In conclusion, although the reading passage argues that wellness incentive programs can motivate employees, ensure fairness, and save companies money in the long run, the lecture refutes these claims by highlighting potential flaws and limitations of such programs.”

5. 语法批改

According to the reading passaagepassage(misspelling), some companies develop "wellness" programs, and there are three arguments in favor of the incentive programs. However, the lecture questions all the arguments, saying that they are not good ideas.

Firstly, the writer states that the incentive programs can be a tool to motivate people to keep healthy lifestyles. However, the professor disagrees with this statement by arguing that this tool is not lasting. He says that this program only focuses on the result, but when we concentrate infor(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) a long period, we will find that a lot of people may start smoketo smoke(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) and gain weight again.

Secondly, the writer argues that the "wellness" programs can ensure fairness because healthy people are less likely to incur medical costs. Nevertheless, the professor disputes this opinion by saying that more factors should be considered in. According to him, some people do not have enough time to do exercise because they have to take care of their children or parents. Besides, it may be more difficult for someone to control their weight because of genetic from their family. So if such people have to pay more insurance fees, it is not fair.

Finally, the writer asserts that the incentive programs can help companies save money in the long run. The contrast viewpoint is put forward by the professor. The professor thinks that the benefits of quitting smoking or losing weight need several yeas to show up, but employees may do not stay in a company for so long time. Often before companies gain financial benefits from the programs, their employees have left.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading passage presents three arguments in favor of wellness programs that offer incentives to employees for achieving health-related goals. However, the lecture casts doubt on these arguments, suggesting that they may not be as effective as claimed.

Firstly, the reading passage posits that incentive programs serve as a motivational tool for people to adopt healthier lifestyles. The lecturer, on the other hand, argues that this motivation is short-lived. He explains that while the programs may show immediate results, such as quitting smoking or losing weight, long-term studies reveal that many participants revert to their old habits after a couple of years.

Secondly, the reading passage claims that wellness programs ensure fairness by rewarding those who maintain healthy lifestyles and incur fewer medical costs. The lecturer disputes this notion by highlighting other factors that should be considered. He points out that some individuals may not have sufficient time to exercise due to family responsibilities or may struggle with weight control due to genetic predispositions. Consequently, penalizing these individuals with higher insurance fees or fewer vacation days would be unjust.

Lastly, the reading passage asserts that incentive programs can help companies save money in the long run by reducing employee illness and hospitalization costs. The lecturer challenges this argument by noting that the benefits of adopting healthier lifestyles often take years to manifest. Since most employees do not remain with a single company for extended periods, businesses might invest in incentive programs without reaping any financial benefits as employees leave for other job opportunities before their improved health can impact productivity and medical expenses. (266 words)

Section Title: 7.文章批改

According to the reading passaage, passage, some companies develop "wellness" programs, and there are three arguments in favor of the incentive programs. However, the lecture questions all the arguments, saying that they are not good ideas.

Firstly, the writer states that the incentive programs can be a tool to motivate people to keep healthy lifestyles. However, the professor disagrees with this statement by arguing that this tool is not lasting. lasting (revised for clarity: short-lived). He says that this program only focuses on the result, result (revised for clarity: immediate results), but when we concentrate in a long period, period (revised for clarity: long-term studies), we will find that a lot of people may start smoke (revised for clarity: revert to their old habits) and gain weight again.

Secondly, the writer argues that the "wellness" programs can ensure fairness because healthy people are less likely to incur medical costs. Nevertheless, the professor disputes this opinion by saying that more factors should be considered in. in (revised for clarity: considered). According to him, some people do not have enough time to do exercise because they have to take care of their children or parents. Besides, it may be more difficult for someone to control their weight because of genetic from their family. family (revised for clarity: genetic predispositions). So if such people have to pay more insurance fees, fees (revised for clarity: penalizing these individuals with higher insurance fees or fewer vacation days), it is not fair.

Finally, the writer asserts that the incentive programs can help companies save money in the long run. The contrast viewpoint is put forward by the professor. professor (revised for clarity: The lecturer challenges this argument). The professor thinks that the benefits of quitting smoking or losing weight need several yeas (revised for clarity: years) to show up, but employees may do not stay in a company for so long time. time (revised for clarity: remain with a single company for extended periods). Often before companies gain financial benefits from the programs, their employees have left.left (revised for clarity: leave for other job opportunities before their improved health can impact productivity and medical expenses).

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Reading passage: wellness programs benefits
  - Lecture: doubts effectiveness

- Argument 1: Motivation
  - Reading: incentive programs motivate healthier lifestyles
  - Lecture: motivation is short-lived, old habits return

- Argument 2: Fairness
  - Reading: rewards for healthy lifestyles, fewer medical costs
  - Lecture: other factors (time, genetics), penalizing is unjust

- Argument 3: Cost Savings
  - Reading: reduced illness and hospitalization costs for companies
  - Lecture: benefits take years, employee turnover undermines savings

9. Keywords