TOEFL Writing Task 1 Sample: For Writing Task 1, you will have three minutes to read a short academic passageYou may take notes. The passage will be removed and you will listen to a lectureabout the same topic. Again, you may take notes.

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 4 Organization: 4 Coherence and Cohesion: 4 Language Use: 3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，这篇文章较好地完成了任务要求，对阅读材料和听力材料中的观点进行了对比。但在语言运用方面还有待提高。建议在引用阅读和听力材料时更加准确地表达观点，并注意避免重复使用相同的词汇。

Example 1: Original: "However, the professor in the lecture argues that such an assumption illustrates the population of bison reduced with the tendency of early North American settlers is not the case." Improved: "However, the professor in the lecture argues that this assumption, which suggests a reduction in bison population due to early North American settlers' westward movement, is incorrect."

Example 2: Original: "Then he supports this point with the fact that since the cattle and horses were domestic, the competition between bison and them did not come into existence." Improved: "He supports this point by stating that because cattle and horses were domesticated animals, they did not pose a significant competition to bison for resources."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面基本符合要求，包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论一个特定的观点，并提供支持细节。然而，可以改进一些过渡词汇和句子结构，使文章更加流畅。

Example 1: Original: "Initially, the reading passage suggests that early residents relied on bison as a food source, while the gigantic population led to the misunderstanding of the inexhaustible supply of food themselves." Improved: "Firstly, the reading passage suggests that early residents relied on bison as a food source and their large population led to the misconception of an inexhaustible food supply."

Example 2: Original: "In conclusion, judging from all the evidence offered above, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows what the passage indicates is unwarranted." Improved: "In conclusion, based on all the evidence presented above, the professor effectively identifies and refutes the weaknesses in the reading passage's arguments."

5. 语法批改

The reading passage mainly shows that the bison population reduction in the early nineteenth century was directly related to human-related activities. The professor’s lecture investigates the same topic. He, however, (Two consecutive spaces)thinks that the arguments are entirely flawed, which contradicts what the article indicates. Then in the lecture, he uses three specific points to bolster his idea.

Initially, the reading passage suggests that early residents relied on bison as a food source, while the gigantic population led to the misunderstanding of the inexhaustible supply of food themselves. However, the professor in the lecture argues that such an assumption illustrates the population of bison reduced with the tendency of early North American settlers is not the case. This is mainly due to the fact that geographical records found that the reduction of the bison population initiated from West America, instead of the East. Apparently, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.

Furthermore, the reading passage indicates that humans introduced many other grazing species that directly competed with bison for habitat and food resources, which ultimately sparked the dwindling of the bison population. Contrary to this statement, however, the professor contends that the argument is not tenable. Then he supports this point with the fact that since the cattle and horses were domestic, the competition between bison and them did not come into existence. Simultaneously, the domesticated species were not suitable for specific chilly habitats where bison lived in the north of America.

Finally, the reading passage claims that technological developments in the accuracy and range of rifles had a considerable impact on the bison herd population since slaughter became easier. In contrast, the professor states that this claim is indefensible on the grounds that among the instances of other game animals in the world, there seems to be no evidence showing that the reduction of such animals has a relationship with the introductions and development of rifles. If so, the population of such animals will be significantly reduced.

In conclusion, judging from all the evidence offered above, the professor clearly identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage and convincingly shows what the passage indicates is unwarranted.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading passage primarily asserts that the decline in bison population during the early nineteenth century was directly linked to human-related activities. Conversely, the professor's lecture disputes this notion, deeming the arguments entirely flawed. He substantiates his viewpoint with three specific points.

Initially, the reading passage suggests that early settlers relied on bison as a food source, and their vast population led to a misconception of an inexhaustible food supply. However, the professor contends that this assumption is inaccurate since historical records do not support a reduction in bison population corresponding with westward movement of early North American settlers. Instead, these records indicate a geographic reduction in herd numbers starting in the west, effectively disproving the reading's claim.

Furthermore, the reading passage posits that humans introduced other grazing species which directly competed with bison for habitat and food resources, ultimately leading to a dwindling bison population. Contrary to this assertion, however, the professor argues that such competition did not exist due to cattle and horses being domesticated creatures. Additionally, these domesticated species were ill-suited for colder habitats where bison thrived in northern America.

Lastly, the reading passage claims that technological advancements in rifle accuracy and range significantly impacted bison herd populations by making slaughter easier. In contrast, the professor maintains that this argument is unfounded since there is no evidence linking population decline among other large game animals worldwide to advancements in gun technology. If such a correlation existed, it would have resulted in drastic reductions of other large wild beasts following new rifle introductions.

Taking into account all of the evidence presented above, it becomes evident that the professor effectively identifies weaknesses within the reading passage's arguments and convincingly demonstrates their lack of merit. (288 words)

Revised essay: Article Revision: 7.文章批改

The reading passage mainly shows that the primarily asserts that the decline in bison population reduction in during the early nineteenth century was directly related linked to human-related activities. The professor’s Conversely, the professor's lecture investigates the same topic. He, however, thinks that disputes this notion, deeming the arguments are entirely flawed, which contradicts what the article indicates. Then in the lecture, he uses flawed (reason: better word choice and sentence structure). He substantiates his viewpoint with three specific points to bolster his idea. points.

Initially, the reading passage suggests that early residents settlers relied on bison as a food source, while the gigantic and their vast population led to the misunderstanding of the a misconception of an inexhaustible supply of food themselves. supply. However, the professor in the lecture argues that such an contends that this assumption illustrates the is inaccurate (reason: clearer expression) since historical records do not support a reduction in bison population of bison reduced corresponding with the tendency westward movement of early North American settlers is not the case. This is mainly due to the fact that geographical settlers. Instead, these records found that the indicate a geographic reduction of the bison population initiated from West America, instead of the East. Apparently, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading. in herd numbers starting in the west, effectively disproving the reading's claim.

Furthermore, the reading passage indicates posits that humans introduced many other grazing species that which directly competed with bison for habitat and food resources, which ultimately sparked the leading to a dwindling of the bison population. Contrary to this statement, assertion, however, the professor contends that the argument is not tenable. Then he supports this point with the fact that since the cattle and horses were domestic, the argues that such competition between bison and them did not come into existence. Simultaneously, the exist (reason: clearer expression) due to cattle and horses being domesticated creatures. Additionally, these domesticated species were not suitable ill-suited for specific chilly colder habitats where bison lived in the north of thrived in northern America.

Finally, Lastly, the reading passage claims that technological developments in the advancements in rifle accuracy and range of rifles had a considerable impact on the significantly impacted bison herd population since populations by making slaughter became easier. In contrast, the professor states maintains that this claim argument is indefensible on the grounds that unfounded (reason: clearer expression) since there is no evidence linking population decline among the instances of other large game animals in the world, there seems to be no worldwide to advancements in gun technology. If such a correlation existed, it would have resulted in drastic reductions of other large wild beasts following new rifle introductions.

Taking into account all of the evidence showing that the reduction of such animals has a relationship with the introductions and development of rifles. If so, the population of such animals will be significantly reduced. ¶ In conclusion, judging from all the evidence offered presented above, it becomes evident that the professor clearly effectively identifies the weaknesses in the reading passage within the reading passage's arguments and convincingly shows what the passage indicates is unwarranted.demonstrates their lack of merit (reason: better word choice and sentence structure).

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8. Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Reading passage: human activities caused bison population decline
   • Lecture: disputes this notion

2. Early settlers and food source

   • Reading: settlers relied on bison, thought supply was inexhaustible
   • Lecture: historical records do not support this claim, geographic reduction in herd numbers started in the west

3. Competition with other grazing species

   • Reading: humans introduced competing species, leading to dwindling bison population
   • Lecture: competition did not exist, domesticated species ill-suited for colder habitats where bison thrived

4. Technological advancements in rifles

   • Reading: rifle accuracy and range impacted bison populations by making slaughter easier
   • Lecture: no evidence linking population decline among other large game animals to gun technology advancements

5. Conclusion

   • Professor effectively identifies weaknesses in reading passage's arguments

9. Keywords