TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Doing which activity do you think can help you to strengthen the friendship between you and your friend -having a good time together with your friend -solving your friend’s problem with him or her

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 2 Organization: 3 Coherence and Cohesion: 3 Language Use: 3

2.预估分数

17. 3.任务完成度

此篇文章并未完全符合托福综合写作任务1的要求。首先，文章没有涉及阅读和听力材料，而这是综合写作任务的核心部分。其次，问题中提到了两个选项，但文章只讨论了其中一个。为了改进这篇文章，你需要：

1. 根据阅读和听力材料总结出两个观点。

2. 对比这两个观点，并给出你的看法。

示例1： In the reading passage, the author argues that having a good time together with friends can strengthen friendships, while the speaker in the listening passage believes that solving problems together is more effective in building strong bonds.

示例2： I believe that both having a good time together and solving problems with friends can contribute to stronger friendships. However, I think solving problems together has a greater impact because it shows mutual support and understanding during difficult times.

4.文章结构与组织 虽然此篇文章具有一定的结构和组织性，但仍有改进空间。为了提高文章的结构和组织，请注意以下几点：

1. 引入阅读和听力材料。

2. 在正文部分对比两个观点，并给出你的看法。

3. 结论部分总结你的论点。

示例1： Introduction: The debate on whether having a good time together or solving problems with friends can strengthen friendships has been ongoing. In this essay, I will compare the viewpoints presented in the reading and listening passages and provide my own opinion on this matter.

示例2： Conclusion: In conclusion, while both having a good time together and solving problems with friends can contribute to stronger friendships, I believe that solving problems together has a greater impact due to the mutual support and understanding it demonstrates during difficult times.

5. 语法批改

I definitely agree with Kelly's perspective that spending an enjoyable time staying with our friends can reinforce our friendship. The primary reason for my stance is that accompanying our friends provides us an opportunity to exchange our thoughts, thus having a deeper understanding of each other. Take my experience as an example, my friend and I always set aside time to hang out together, be it going to watch a theater or buying some household necessities. When we are watching the movie we are both interested in, we are invariably eager to discuss the intricacies of storytelling, the advanced cinematography and the unexpected development of characters. Through passionate interaction and communication, we increasingly know each other, from her genuine love and interests to what she dislikes and resents. Each time we get togethertogether,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) we feel we are connected more closely and the bond between us is strengthened significantly.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

Revised Essay:

Undoubtedly, I concur with the notion that sharing enjoyable moments with friends can greatly enhance our bonds of friendship. The primary rationale behind my viewpoint is that spending quality time together allows us to exchange ideas and thoughts, thereby fostering a deeper understanding of one another. Drawing from personal experience, my friend and I consistently allocate time to engage in various activities, such as attending theatrical performances or shopping for household essentials.

When we immerse ourselves in a captivating film, we invariably find ourselves engrossed in discussions about the intricacies of the plot, the innovative cinematography, and the unforeseen character developments. Through this enthusiastic interaction and open communication, we gradually gain insight into each other's preferences and dislikes, as well as our individual passions and aversions. Consequently, every shared experience brings us closer together and significantly fortifies the bond between us. (146 words)

Undoubtedly, I definitely agree concur with Kelly's perspective the notion (Changed "Kelly's perspective" to "the notion" for a more natural and concise phrasing) that spending an sharing enjoyable time staying moments with our friends can reinforce greatly enhance our bonds of friendship. The primary reason for rationale (Changed "reason" to "rationale" for a more formal tone) behind my stance viewpoint is that accompanying our friends provides us an opportunity spending quality time together allows us to exchange our ideas and thoughts, thus having thereby fostering a deeper understanding of each other. Take one another. Drawing from personal experience (Rephrased "Take my experience as an example, example" for better flow), my friend and I always set aside consistently allocate time to hang out together, be engage in various activities, such as attending theatrical performances or shopping for household essentials (Rephrased "be it going to watch a theater or buying some household necessities. necessities" for clarity and conciseness).

When we are watching the movie we are both interested in, we are immerse ourselves in a captivating film, we invariably eager to discuss find ourselves engrossed in discussions about the intricacies of storytelling, the advanced cinematography and the unexpected the plot, the innovative cinematography, and the unforeseen character developments (Rephrased "advanced cinematography" and "unexpected development of characters. characters" for better flow). Through passionate this enthusiastic interaction and open communication, we increasingly know gradually gain insight into each other, from other's preferences and dislikes (Changed "from her genuine love and interests to what she dislikes and resents. Each resents" for clarity), as well as our individual passions and aversions. Consequently, every shared experience brings us closer together and significantly fortifies the bond between us (Rephrased "Each time we get together we feel we are connected more closely and the bond between us is strengthened significantly.significantly" for better flow).

8. Mind Map

9. Keywords

6. Revised Essay

Undoubtedly, I concur with the notion that sharing enjoyable moments with friends can greatly enhance our bonds of friendship. The primary rationale behind my viewpoint is that spending quality time together allows us to exchange ideas and thoughts, thereby fostering a deeper understanding of one another. Drawing from personal experience, my friend and I consistently allocate time to engage in various activities, such as attending theatrical performances or shopping for household essentials.

When we immerse ourselves in a captivating film, we invariably find ourselves engrossed in discussions about the intricacies of the plot, the innovative cinematography, and the unforeseen character developments. Through this enthusiastic interaction and open communication, we gradually gain insight into each other's preferences and dislikes, as well as our individual passions and aversions. Consequently, every shared experience brings us closer together and significantly fortifies the bond between us.