TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on international trade. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

22. 3 任务完成度

在这篇文章中，你对于发展中国家是否受益于国际贸易的问题表达了自己的观点，并对两位同学的观点进行了回应。但是，你的论据有时候缺乏详细的解释和例子。为了提高文章质量，建议你在论证观点时提供更多具体例子和详细解释。

改进示例1：

• 在论述发展中国家因为无法吸引精英人才而受损时，可以举一个具体国家或行业的例子来支持你的观点。

改进示例2：

• 当提到发展中国家应该实施有益政策以保护未来世代时，可以给出一些建议性措施或已经实施并取得成功的政策案例。

4. 文章结构与组织

整体而言，文章结构清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在段落之间缺乏明确的过渡语句。为了提高文章组织结构，建议在段落之间添加过渡语句，并确保每个段落都集中讨论一个特定的观点。

改进示例1：

• 在引言和正文之间，可以添加一句过渡语句，如：“在这个问题上，我同意克莱尔的观点，并认为发展中国家在国际贸易中受到了损害。”

改进示例2：

• 在讨论保护未来世代的政策时，可以使用过渡语句引入新段落，如：“为了应对这些负面影响，发展中国家需要采取一些措施。”

5. 语法批改

In the debate between whether developing countries benefit from international trades, I firmly believe that developing countries will damageddamage(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) by this access, as Claire said. In my opinion, on one handhand,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) some developing countries do not have higher welfare and salary to attract elite people stayto stay(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) in these countries. In[No Replacement Word Found](Successive sentences beginning with the same word) case of that, it will exacerbate the strata’s disparities and cause the serious conflict in this whole world. Paul raised a relevant point that it is benefit to remain the international trade for developing countries. However, he did not mention that people seems doseems to do(Collocation: Word + to + PRP|NNP|DT) not desire to stay in the developing countries. Some people who have superior talents in some fields will also need splendid working conditions and high salary, but the developing countries will not let them pleasant enough. Obviously, the negative effects will deteriorate the development of these countries. In conclusion, I believe that it is necessary that these countries should impose helpful policies to safeguard our world for future generations.

Title: 6 文章修订

In the discussion regarding the impact of international trade on developing countries, I concur with Claire's assertion that these nations often suffer as a result. Developing countries frequently struggle to retain top talent due to insufficient welfare systems and uncompetitive salaries, exacerbating social disparities and potentially inciting global conflict. While Paul argues that international trade benefits developing countries by providing employment opportunities, he fails to address the reluctance of skilled individuals to remain in such environments. Highly talented professionals often seek exceptional working conditions and competitive compensation, which developing nations may struggle to provide. Consequently, this brain drain hinders the progress of these countries. It is crucial for governments in developing nations to implement policies that not only promote fair participation in international trade but also foster sustainable growth for future generations. (135 words)

In the debate between whether discussion regarding the impact of international trade on developing countries benefit from (clarifying the topic), I concur with Claire's assertion that these nations often suffer as a result (rephrasing for clarity). Developing countries frequently struggle to retain top talent due to insufficient welfare systems and uncompetitive salaries (providing reasons), exacerbating social disparities and potentially inciting global conflict (explaining consequences). While Paul argues that international trades, I firmly believe that trade benefits developing countries will damaged by this access, as Claire said. In my opinion, on one hand some developing countries do not have higher welfare and salary providing employment opportunities (acknowledging counterargument), he fails to attract elite people stay in these countries. In case address the reluctance of that, it will exacerbate the strata’s disparities and cause the serious conflict in this whole world. Paul raised a relevant point that it is benefit skilled individuals to remain the international trade for developing countries. However, he did not mention that people seems do not desire to stay in the developing countries. Some people who have superior talents in some fields will also need splendid such environments (pointing out a missing aspect). Highly talented professionals often seek exceptional working conditions and high salary, but competitive compensation, which developing nations may struggle to provide (explaining why they might not stay). Consequently, this brain drain hinders the developing countries will not let them pleasant enough. Obviously, the negative effects will deteriorate the development progress of these countries. In conclusion, I believe countries (showing negative effects). It is crucial for governments in developing nations to implement policies that it is necessary that these countries should impose helpful policies to safeguard our world not only promote fair participation in international trade but also foster sustainable growth for future generations.generations (offering a solution).

8 思维导图

graph TD
A[Impact of International Trade on Developing Countries]
B[Retaining Top Talent]
C[Insufficient Welfare Systems]
D[Uncompetitive Salaries]
E[Social Disparities]
F[Global Conflict]
G[Employment Opportunities]
H[Skilled Individuals' Reluctance]
I[Sustainable Growth Policies]

A --> B
B --> C
B --> D
A --> E
E --> F
A --> G
G --> H
A --> I

9 关键词