TOEFL TPO 47 Writing Task 2 Sample: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度: 4

• 文章结构与组织: 4

• 连贯性与衔接: 4

• 语言运用: 4

2.预估分数

• 总分：25

3.任务完成度 整体来说，你的文章很好地回答了题目，并且提供了具体的理由和例子来支持你的观点。然而，有一些地方可以改进以使文章更加完善。首先，在论述各个观点时，可以尝试使用更多的细节和深入的分析来增强论证力度。其次，在举例子时，尽量避免使用过于普通或者大家都知道的例子，可以选择一些独特且有趣的事例来吸引读者。

示例1： 原文：For example, I used to believe the world was a peaceful and harmonious society, until the outbreak of the war between Ukraine and Russia, which exposed the intensive conflict between the two countries. 修改后：For example, I used to believe the world was a peaceful and harmonious society, until I learned about the complex political tensions that led to the outbreak of war between Ukraine and Russia, which highlighted how fragile peace can be in certain regions.

示例2： 原文：I have a friend who used to be a doctor in Shanghai, living a busy but comfortable life. 修改后：I have a friend who used to be a successful doctor in Shanghai, working long hours but enjoying a comfortable lifestyle with his family.

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。每个段落都聚焦于一个具体的观点，并提供了支持细节。然而，在段落之间的过渡可以更加自然和流畅。此外，可以尝试使用更多的连接词和短语来帮助读者更好地理解你的观点。

建议1：在段落之间使用过渡词或短语，如“此外”、“然而”、“相反地”等。 建议2：在论述不同观点时，可以使用连接词来强调关系，如“因为”、“所以”、“尽管如此”等。

示例1： 原文：First, knowing about the global events help us recognize and track the constant-changing world. 修改后：Firstly, being informed about global events enables us to recognize and keep up with the constantly changing world.

示例2： 原文：Last but not least, understanding the global events help boosting the mutual understanding and supporting unity among people from different nations. 修改后：Finally, understanding global events promotes mutual understanding and fosters unity among people from diverse nations.

5. 语法批改

I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that it is crucial to be aware of the events around the world, regardless of their direct effect on our daily life. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))My support is based on several reasons, including more understanding of the world, better awareness of our roles, and stronger support for unity among different peoples in the globe.

First, knowing about the global events help us recognize and track the constant-changing world. It is necessary for us to keep pace with the changes in the society, since the world is evolving all the time. For example, I used to believe the world was a peaceful and harmonious society, until the outbreak of the war between Ukraine and Russia, which exposed the intensive conflict between the two countries. The war killed numerous lives and ruined millionsmillions'(Possessive apostrophe error) familyof family(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'of' is missing in a sentence.) life, yet no one can tell when it could end. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))It demonstrated to me the priceless value of peacepeace,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which sometimes peolepeople(misspelling) took it for granted.

Secondly, being aware of the international events enhance our understanding of our roles in the world, and sometimes even changes our life in futurein the future(Missing definite article referring to a time period). (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))I have a friend who used to be a doctor in Shanghai, living a busy but comfortable life. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))But by an accident, he witnessed the disasters brought by disease to many poor families in Africa, he decided to go to Africa and work as a volunteer there. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))I believe he would never choose a different life if he had not been exposed to the problems in Africa.

Last but not least, understanding the global events help boosting the mutual understanding and supporting unity among people from different nations. By interacting with each other, people can see the world from different eyes, decreasing the stereotype people ususallyusually(misspelling) have, and reshaping our views for the other countries. To give an example, many persons view India as an old, poor, dirty and under-developed country. There were many jokes about Indian too. However, a recent newsrecent news(Articles: a + uncountable noun) exposed now Indians can produce the newest type of Apple phones, and also many videos on YoutubeYouTube(YouTube) demonstrated the brand-new appearance of the country. As a result, many online chatters pass their regards and there were fewer jokes about Indian online.

To sum up, nowadaysnowadays,(Comma after 'nowadays) we must be familiar with what's happening in the world, so that we can keep track of the status quo of the society, reflect our roles in a bigger context, and build more common understanding with people from other countries.

6.文章修订

I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that it is crucial to be aware of events occurring around the world, regardless of their direct impact on our daily lives. My support for this view is based on several reasons, including fostering a better understanding of the world, increasing awareness of our roles, and promoting unity among different peoples across the globe.

Firstly, being informed about global events enables us to recognize and keep up with the constantly changing world. It is essential for us to stay abreast of societal changes since the world is continually evolving. For instance, I used to believe that the world was a peaceful and harmonious society until I learned about the complex political tensions that led to the outbreak of war between Ukraine and Russia. This conflict highlighted how fragile peace can be in certain regions and exposed the intense strife between these two countries. The war resulted in numerous casualties and disrupted millions of families' lives, with no clear end in sight. This experience demonstrated to me the priceless value of peace, which people sometimes take for granted.

Secondly, being aware of international events enhances our understanding of our roles in the world and can sometimes even influence our future life choices. I have a friend who used to be a successful doctor in Shanghai, working long hours but enjoying a comfortable lifestyle with his family. However, after witnessing firsthand the devastating effects of disease on impoverished families in Africa through a documentary, he decided to go there as a volunteer medical professional. I believe he would never have chosen this different path if he had not been exposed to these pressing issues in Africa.

Furthermore, understanding global events promotes mutual understanding and fosters unity among people from diverse nations. By interacting with each other and exchanging perspectives on various issues, individuals can gain insight into different cultures and societies while reducing stereotypes typically associated with them. For example, many people perceive India as an old-fashioned, impoverished country with poor hygiene standards and underdeveloped infrastructure. This stereotype has led to numerous jokes about India and its people. However, recent news reports have highlighted that Indians are now producing the latest Apple smartphones, and various YouTube videos showcase the country's modern advancements. As a result, online discussions have become more respectful, and there has been a noticeable decrease in jokes targeting India.

In conclusion, it is imperative for us to stay informed about what is happening in the world so that we can keep track of the current state of society, reflect on our roles within a broader context, and build stronger connections with people from other countries. By doing so, we can contribute to fostering a more understanding and unified global community.

Essay statistics: {"words": 451, "unique_words": 248} (464 words)

7.文章批改

I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that it is crucial to be aware of the events occurring around the world, regardless of their direct effect impact on our daily life. lives. (Changed "their direct effect" to "their direct impact" for a more precise expression) My support for this view is based on several reasons, including more fostering a better understanding of the world, better increasing awareness of our roles, and stronger support for promoting unity among different peoples in across the globe. (Rephrased to make it sound more natural)

First, knowing Firstly, being informed about the global events help enables us to recognize and track the constant-changing keep up with the constantly changing world. (Changed "knowing about" to "being informed about" for better clarity) It is necessary essential for us to keep pace with the stay abreast of societal changes in the society, since the world is evolving all the time. continually evolving. For example, instance, I used to believe that the world was a peaceful and harmonious society, society until I learned about the complex political tensions that led to the outbreak of the war between Ukraine and Russia, which Russia. (Added details for stronger context) This conflict highlighted how fragile peace can be in certain regions and exposed the intensive conflict intense strife between the these two countries. countries. The war killed resulted in numerous lives and ruined casualties and disrupted millions family life, yet of families' lives, with no one can tell when it could end. It clear end in sight. This experience demonstrated to me the priceless value of peace peace, which people sometimes peole took it take for granted.

Secondly, being aware of the international events enhance enhances our understanding of our roles in the world, and world and can sometimes even changes influence our future life in future. choices. (Reworded for clarity) I have a friend who used to be a successful doctor in Shanghai, living a busy working long hours but enjoying a comfortable life. But by an accident, lifestyle with his family. However, after witnessing firsthand the devastating effects of disease on impoverished families in Africa through a documentary, he decided to go there as a volunteer medical professional. (Clarified how he witnessed the disasters brought by disease to many poor families in Africa, he decided to go to Africa and work as a volunteer there. these issues) I believe he would never choose a have chosen this different life path if he had not been exposed to the problems these pressing issues in Africa.

Last but not least, Furthermore, understanding the global events help boosting the promotes mutual understanding and supporting fosters unity among people from different nations. diverse nations. (Changed "help boosting" to "promotes" for better flow) By interacting with each other, people other and exchanging perspectives on various issues, individuals can see the world from gain insight into different eyes, decreasing the stereotype people ususally have, and reshaping our views for the other countries. To give an cultures and societies while reducing stereotypes typically associated with them. For example, many persons view people perceive India as an old, poor, dirty and under-developed country. There were many old-fashioned, impoverished country with poor hygiene standards and underdeveloped infrastructure. This stereotype has led to numerous jokes about Indian too. India and its people. However, a recent news exposed reports have highlighted that Indians are now Indians can produce the newest type of producing the latest Apple phones, and also many smartphones, and various YouTube videos on Youtube demonstrated the brand-new appearance of the country. showcase the country's modern advancements. (Added details for stronger context) As a result, many online chatters pass their regards discussions have become more respectful, and there were fewer has been a noticeable decrease in jokes targeting India.

In conclusion, it is imperative for us to stay informed about Indian online. ¶ To sum up, nowadays we must be familiar with what's what is happening in the world, world so that we can keep track of the status quo of the current state of society, reflect on our roles in a bigger within a broader context, and build more common understanding stronger connections with people from other countries.countries. (Rephrased for better flow) By doing so, we can contribute to fostering a more understanding and unified global community.

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Importance of knowing global events

  • Topic sentence 1: Better understanding of the world
    • Sub-topic: Constantly changing world
    • Supporting example: Ukraine-Russia conflict
  • Topic sentence 2: Awareness of our roles
    • Sub-topic: Influence on future life choices
    • Supporting example: Friend becoming a volunteer in Africa
  • Topic sentence 3: Promoting unity among different peoples
    • Sub-topic: Reducing stereotypes and fostering mutual understanding
    • Supporting example: Changing perceptions of India through news and videos

• Conclusion: Contributing to a more understanding and unified global community

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. By staying informed about global events, we can make more educated decisions when it comes to voting for political leaders who will shape international policies.

2. Understanding global events can lead to increased empathy for those facing challenges in other parts of the world, inspiring us to take action and help where we can.

3. Knowledge of international affairs allows us to engage in meaningful conversations with people from different backgrounds, fostering cultural exchange and personal growth.

4. Awareness of global events can help us identify potential business opportunities or career paths that align with our interests and values, leading to a more fulfilling professional life.

5. Being informed about global events can encourage us to be more environmentally conscious and adopt sustainable practices, contributing to the well-being of our planet.