TOEFL TPO 45 Writing Task 2 Sample: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度：4

• 文章结构与组织：3

• 连贯性与衔接：3

• 语言运用：3

2.预估分数

• 22

3.任务完成度 整体而言，文章回答了题目要求的问题，并提供了一些具体的原因和例子。但是，这些原因和例子可以更加详细和深入。建议在每个观点中提供更多具体的信息，以增强说服力。

例如：

• 原文：“First, modern young people have a greater opportunity to receive a better education.” 改进：“First, modern young people have a greater opportunity to receive a better education due to the widespread availability of online courses and educational resources.”

• 原文：“Dai Yi is a perfect example to illustrate this idea.” 改进：“Dai Yi, a young entrepreneur who founded his own successful startup at the age of 20, is a perfect example to illustrate this idea.”

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构基本清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在段落之间缺乏明确的过渡，使得文章读起来有些生硬。建议使用过渡词或短语来连接不同段落中的观点。

例如：

• 在第二段开始时添加过渡词：“Moreover, the society nowadays provides much more opportunity for young people to chase their choice.”

• 在第三段开始时添加过渡词：“For instance, Dai Yi is a perfect example to illustrate this idea.”

5. 语法批改

I do agree with this idea. With the development of the society, more and more young people are able to make decision for their own life by themselves. First, modern young people have a greater opportunity to receive a better education. They are able to learn many different kinds of knowledgeknowledge,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which may then help them to make decision in the future. But the young people in the past had no such kind of knowledge to support themselves. The education also makes modern young people have a clearer self identification. In the past, they have no idea to the outside world ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) they do not know what kind of decisions are going with the world trend and what are goingyou going(What are (you) talking about?) against it. Second, the society nowadays provides much more opportunity for young people to chase their choice. In the past, there was no chance would be offered to a young people who had no experience or no background. But now, opportunities are open to anyone who has the ability to achieve their goal. That is to say, as long as a young people hashave(people + 3rd person verb) the ability that qualified the need, he or she can take the chance. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))DaiDie(misspelling) Yi is a perfect example to illustrate this idea. In his 17, he passed the College Entrance Examination, while he still a senior high student, he chose to pursue his bachelor degree in the CTU. That is impossible without the education he received and also the chance that provided by modern society. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))In conclusion, the idea that today young people are better able to make decisions about their life than the past is true. And it is not only because of the education they received, but also the opportunity that the society provided to these ambitious young people. And both of these resources can not be found in the past.

6.文章修订

I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that today's young people are better equipped to make decisions about their own lives compared to those in the past. The rapid development of society has empowered them with greater access to education and opportunities, enabling them to become more independent decision-makers.

First and foremost, contemporary youth have a significantly higher chance of receiving a well-rounded education due to the widespread availability of online courses and educational resources. This access to diverse knowledge equips them with the necessary tools to make informed decisions about their future. In contrast, young people in the past were limited by their lack of exposure to various fields of study, which hindered their ability to make well-informed choices. Furthermore, modern education systems emphasize critical thinking and problem-solving skills, fostering a clearer sense of self-identity among today's youth. In the past, young individuals had limited understanding of the world beyond their immediate surroundings, making it difficult for them to discern which decisions aligned with global trends and which went against them.

Moreover, society nowadays provides an abundance of opportunities for young people to pursue their aspirations. Unlike in the past, when chances were scarce for inexperienced or underprivileged individuals, today's world offers numerous possibilities for anyone who possesses the talent and determination required to achieve their goals. As long as a young person demonstrates aptitude and meets specific criteria, they can seize available opportunities.

For instance, Dai Yi serves as an excellent example illustrating this notion. At 17 years old, he passed the College Entrance Examination while still attending high school and chose to pursue his bachelor's degree at CTU. Such an accomplishment would have been impossible without both the comprehensive education he received and the opportunities afforded by modern society.

In addition to these factors, advancements in technology have also contributed significantly towards empowering today's youth in decision-making processes. The internet provides instant access to information on virtually any topic imaginable, allowing young people to research and evaluate various options before making a choice. This level of autonomy was simply unattainable for previous generations, who had to rely on their parents or other authority figures for guidance.

Furthermore, the rise of social media platforms has enabled young people to connect with like-minded individuals from around the world, broadening their perspectives and fostering a more global outlook. This increased exposure to diverse cultures and ideas allows them to make more informed decisions that align with their personal values and aspirations.

In conclusion, it is evident that today's young people are better equipped to make decisions about their lives than those in the past. The combination of improved access to education, greater opportunities provided by society, and advancements in technology has enabled them to become more independent and informed decision-makers. These resources were simply unavailable in previous generations, highlighting the progress made in empowering today's youth to take control of their own destinies. (483 words)

I do 7.文章批改

I wholeheartedly agree with this idea. With the development of the society, more and more the statement that today's young people are able better equipped to make decision for decisions about their own life by themselves. ¶ First, modern young people lives compared to those in the past. (I used "wholeheartedly" to emphasize strong agreement and "equipped" to show that they have the necessary tools.) The rapid development of society has empowered them with greater access to education and opportunities, enabling them to become more independent decision-makers. (I added "rapid development of society" for context and used "empowered" to show the positive impact.)

First and foremost, contemporary youth have a greater opportunity to receive significantly higher chance of receiving a better education. They are able to learn many different kinds of well-rounded education due to the widespread availability of online courses and educational resources. (I replaced "modern" with "contemporary" for variety and added "well-rounded education" for clarity.) This access to diverse knowledge equips them with the necessary tools to make informed decisions about their future. In contrast, young people in the past were limited by their lack of exposure to various fields of study, which may then help them hindered their ability to make decision in the future. But the young people in the past had no such kind of knowledge to support themselves. The well-informed choices. (I added "lack of exposure" for specificity.) Furthermore, modern education also makes modern young people have systems emphasize critical thinking and problem-solving skills, fostering a clearer self identification. In the past, they have no idea to the outside world , they do not know what kind of decisions are going with the world trend and what are going against it. ¶ Second, the sense of self-identity among today's youth. (I added "critical thinking and problem-solving skills" for detail.)

Moreover, society nowadays provides much more opportunity an abundance of opportunities for young people to chase their choice. In pursue their aspirations. (I changed "chase their choice" to "pursue their aspirations" for clarity.) Unlike in the past, there was no chance would be offered to a young people who had no experience when chances were scarce for inexperienced or no background. But now, opportunities are open to underprivileged individuals, today's world offers numerous possibilities for anyone who has the ability possesses the talent and determination required to achieve their goal. That is to say, as goals. (I added "talent and determination" for emphasis.) As long as a young people has the ability that qualified the need, he or she person demonstrates aptitude and meets specific criteria, they can take the chance. ¶ seize available opportunities.

For instance, Dai Yi is a perfect serves as an excellent example to illustrate illustrating this idea. In his 17, notion. (I added "serves as" for clarity.) At 17 years old, he passed the College Entrance Examination, Examination while he still a senior attending high student, he school and chose to pursue his bachelor bachelor's degree in the at CTU. That is Such an accomplishment would have been impossible without the both the comprehensive education he received and also the chance that provided the opportunities afforded by modern society. (I added "comprehensive education" for detail.)

In addition to these factors, advancements in technology have also contributed significantly towards empowering today's youth in decision-making processes. (I added "advancements in technology" for context.) The internet provides instant access to information on virtually any topic imaginable, allowing young people to research and evaluate various options before making a choice. This level of autonomy was simply unattainable for previous generations, who had to rely on their parents or other authority figures for guidance.

Furthermore, the rise of social media platforms has enabled young people to connect with like-minded individuals from around the world, broadening their perspectives and fostering a more global outlook. (I added "rise of social media platforms" for context.) This increased exposure to diverse cultures and ideas allows them to make more informed decisions that align with their personal values and aspirations.

In conclusion, the idea it is evident that today today's young people are better able equipped to make decisions about their life lives than the past is true. And it is not only because of the education they received, but also the opportunity that the society those in the past. The combination of improved access to education, greater opportunities provided to these ambitious young people. And both of these by society, and advancements in technology has enabled them to become more independent and informed decision-makers. (I added "informed" for emphasis.) These resources can not be found in the past.were simply unavailable in previous generations, highlighting the progress made in empowering today's youth to take control of their own destinies.

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Today's young people are better equipped to make decisions about their own lives compared to those in the past.

  • Topic 1: Access to education
    • Sub-topic: Widespread availability of online courses and resources
    • Supporting example: Comprehensive education received by Dai Yi
  • Topic 2: Greater opportunities provided by society
    • Sub-topic: Abundance of chances for inexperienced or underprivileged individuals
    • Supporting example: Dai Yi's accomplishment at age 17
  • Topic 3: Advancements in technology
    • Sub-topic: Instant access to information via the internet
    • Sub-topic: Rise of social media platforms connecting like-minded individuals globally

• Conclusion: The combination of improved access to education, greater opportunities provided by society, and advancements in technology has enabled today's youth to become more independent and informed decision-makers.

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Online learning platforms, such as Coursera and edX, offer young people access to courses from top universities worldwide, enabling them to gain knowledge in various fields and make better decisions about their careers.

2. Mentorship programs connect experienced professionals with young individuals seeking guidance, providing valuable insights and advice that can help them make informed choices about their future paths.

3. International exchange programs expose students to different cultures and perspectives, broadening their horizons and allowing them to make more culturally sensitive decisions.

4. The rise of entrepreneurship among young people has led to an increase in resources and support networks that enable them to make informed decisions about starting their own businesses.

5. Volunteering opportunities allow young people to develop a sense of social responsibility and empathy, which can guide them in making more ethical decisions throughout their lives.