TOEFL TPO 51 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage.

Historical user samples and AI evaluation results from an older TOEFL format.

199 archived user samples

Task Overview

Reading Passage

Humans have long been fascinated by elephants, the largest land animal in the modern world. Social animals that live in herds, elephants are native to both Africa and Asia. Their large ears, long trunk, and long life span have made elephants one of the most captivating creatures on Earth. Our long-standing interest in elephants has led to several beliefs about surprising elephant behaviors.Elephants Are Aware of Approaching DeathOne of the popular beliefs is that when elephants become old and weak, they know that they are nearing the end of their lives. They demonstrate this by breaking away from their herds and going off alone to certain locations often found near bodies of water—so called “elephant graveyards”—to die alone. The idea that old elephants seem aware that they will die soon is supported by the discovery of many sites containing bones exclusively of elderly elephants.Representing Objects through ArtAdditionally, elephants seem to have artistic ability. Elephants can be taught to hold a paintbrush in their trunk and use it to paint on a canvas. Some elephants have been known to paint drawings that represent recognizable things: flowers, other elephants, even themselves. This talent makes elephants the only animal other than humans to produce art representing the world around them.Fear of MiceFinally, it has long been believed that elephants have a fear of mice. In 77 C.E., the Roman philosopher and scientist Pliny the Elder wrote that elephants are more afraid of mice, small mammals that can do elephants no harm, than of the much more dangerous animals with which elephants normally share an environment, such as lions or tigers. In a recent scientific experiment in which a herd of elephants was confronted with several mice, the elephants backed away from the mice and left the area to avoid them.

Question

Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage.

User Samples & Evaluation Results

User Sample

The reading and the lecture both center around the topic of astonishing elephant behaviors. The author of the article presents beliefs about the three unusual behaviors, respectively. However, the lecturer points out that those beliefs are based on misunderstandings. Firstly, according to the reading, elephants notice their death is approaching. To elaborate, knowing impending death, elephants would leave their herds and go to places near water. The specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. He posits that old elephants find places near water to search for softer vegetation to eat. It's because their teeth become not strong enough for them to chew previous food. What they are able to eat is in the neighborhood of the water area. Moreover, the passage suggests that elephants can represent objects through art. They can hold a brush by the trunk to paint various drawings. The lecturer disputes this claim by mentioning that even though elephants are trained to brush successfully, they may not be conscious of what they are painting. By stroking elephants' ears in different ways, elephants are taught to paint different things. They just respond to different stimulation. Additionally, the article provides a theory that elephants are afraid of mice. On the contrary, the lecturer contends that they fear unfamiliar objects instead of mice. For instance, elephants in zoos are afraid of mice since they know that mice won't harm them.

Evaluation Result

1.Sub Scores

Task fulfillment: 4
Organization: 4
Coherence and Cohesion: 4
Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed explanations and clearer connections between the lecture's points and the reading passage's claims. To improve task fulfillment, try to:

Include more specific examples from both the reading and listening passages.
Clearly explain how each point from the lecture challenges or contradicts a point from the reading.

Example improvements:

Original sentence: "The lecturer disputes this claim by mentioning that even though elephants are trained to brush successfully, they may not be conscious of what they are painting." Improved sentence: "The lecturer disputes this claim by explaining that elephants do not create art consciously; instead, their trainers guide their movements by stroking their sensitive ears, causing them to paint specific patterns."
Original sentence: "For instance, elephants in zoos are afraid of mice since they know that mice won't harm them." Improved sentence: "For instance, elephants in zoos do not fear mice because they have become familiar with them and understand that they pose no threat."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be improved for better coherence and cohesion. To enhance organization:

Use clear transition words or phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs.
Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.

Example improvements:

Original sentence: "To elaborate, knowing impending death, elephants would leave their herds and go to places near water." Improved sentence: "To elaborate, it is believed that when elephants sense their impending death, they leave their herds and seek out places near water."
Original sentence: "By stroking elephants' ears in different ways, elephants are taught to paint different things." Improved sentence: "Trainers stroke elephants' ears in various ways to teach them specific brushstrokes, which the elephants then reproduce on the canvas."

5. Grammar

The reading and the lecture both center around the topic of astonishing elephant behaviors. The author of the article presents beliefs about the three unusual behaviors, respectively. However, the lecturer points out that those beliefs are based on misunderstandings.

Firstly, according to the reading, elephants notice their death is approaching. To elaborate, knowing impending death, elephants would leave their herds and go to places near water. The specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. He posits that old elephants find places near water to search for softer vegetation to eat. It's because their teeth become not strong enough for them to chew previous food. What they are able to eat is in the neighborhood of the water area.

Moreover, the passage suggests that elephants can represent objects through art. They can hold a brush by the trunk to paint various drawings. The lecturer disputes this claim by mentioning that even though elephants are trained to brush successfully, they may not be conscious of what they are painting. By stroking elephants' ears in different ways, elephants are taught to paint different things. They just respond to different stimulation.

Additionally, the article provides a theory that elephants are afraid of mice. On the contrary, the lecturer contends that they fear unfamiliar objects instead of mice. For instance, elephants in zoos are afraid of mice since they know that mice won't harm them.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading and the lecture both center around the topic of astonishing elephant behaviors. The author of the article presents beliefs about three unusual behaviors, respectively. However, the lecturer points out that those beliefs are based on misunderstandings.

Firstly, according to the reading, elephants notice their death is approaching. To elaborate, knowing impending death, elephants would leave their herds and go to places near water. The specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. He posits that old elephants find places near water to search for softer vegetation to eat. It's because their teeth become not strong enough for them to chew previous food. What they are able to eat is in the neighborhood of the water area.

Moreover, the passage suggests that elephants can represent objects through art. They can hold a brush by the trunk to paint various drawings. The lecturer disputes this claim by mentioning that even though elephants are trained to brush successfully, they may not be conscious of what they are painting. By stroking elephants' ears in different ways, elephants are taught to paint different things. They just respond to different stimulation.

Additionally, the article provides a theory that elephants are afraid of mice. On the contrary, the lecturer contends that they fear unfamiliar objects instead of mice. For instance, elephants in zoos are not afraid of mice since they know that mice won't harm them. (235 words)

The reading and the lecture both center around the topic of astonishing elephant behaviors. The author of the article presents beliefs about ~~the~~ three unusual behaviors, respectively. However, the lecturer points out that those beliefs are based on misunderstandings.

Firstly, according to the reading, elephants notice their death is approaching. To elaborate, knowing impending death, elephants would leave their herds and go to places near water. The specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. He posits that old elephants find places near water to search for softer vegetation to ~~eat. It's~~ eat (revised for clarity), because their teeth become not strong enough for them to chew previous ~~food.~~ food (revised for better flow). What they are able to eat is in the neighborhood of the water area.

Moreover, the passage suggests that elephants can represent objects through art. They can hold a brush by the trunk to paint various drawings. The lecturer disputes this claim by mentioning that even though elephants are trained to brush ~~successfully,~~ successfully (revised for accuracy), they may not be conscious of what they are ~~painting.~~ painting (revised for clarity). By stroking elephants' ears in different ways, elephants are taught to paint different ~~things.~~ things (revised for better flow). They just respond to different stimulation.

Additionally, the article provides a theory that elephants are afraid of mice. On the contrary, the lecturer contends that they fear unfamiliar objects instead of ~~mice.~~ mice (revised for clarity). For instance, elephants in zoos are not afraid of mice since they know that mice won't harm ~~them.~~them (corrected contradiction in original text).

8. Mind Map


1. Introduction
   - Astonishing elephant behaviors
   - Reading vs. lecture viewpoints

2. Elephants sensing death
   - Reading: Elephants leave herds, go to water areas
   - Lecture: Old elephants seek softer vegetation near water due to weak teeth

3. Elephants creating art
   - Reading: Elephants can paint using their trunks
   - Lecture: Elephants respond to stimulation, may not be aware of what they're painting

4. Elephants fearing mice
   - Reading: Elephants are afraid of mice
   - Lecture: Fear unfamiliar objects, not specifically mice; zoo elephants unafraid of mice

5. Conclusion
   - Lecturer challenges the beliefs presented in the reading

9. Key Words

Word	Phonetic Symbol	Part of Speech	English Definition	English Translation (if needed)	Sample Sentence
astonishing	əˈstɒnɪʃɪŋ	adjective	extremely surprising or impressive		The astonishing elephant behaviors have sparked debates among researchers.
impending	ɪmˈpɛndɪŋ	adjective	about to happen		The elephants seem to sense their impending death and leave their herds.
vegetation	ˌvɛdʒɪˈteɪʃən	noun	plants considered collectively, especially those found in a particular area or habitat		Old elephants search for softer vegetation near water areas due to their weakened teeth.
conscious	ˈkɒnʃəs	adjective	aware of and able to think or perceive; having knowledge of something		The lecturer argues that elephants may not be conscious of what they are painting.
stimulation	ˌstɪmjʊˈleɪʃən	noun	the action of arousing interest, enthusiasm, or excitement in something		Elephants respond to different stimulation when painting, such as strokes on their ears.
contention	kənˈtɛnʃən	noun	a point asserted as part of an argument or debate		The lecturer's contention is that elephants fear unfamiliar objects rather than mice specifically.
unfamiliar	ʌnfəˈmɪlɪər	adjective	not known or well known		Elephants tend to fear unfamiliar objects, which may explain their initial reaction to mice.
instance	ˈɪnstəns	noun	an example or single occurrence of something		For instance, elephants in zoos are not afraid of mice since they know that mice won't harm them.
misconception	ˌmɪskənˈsɛpʃən	noun	a view or opinion that is incorrect because it is based on faulty thinking or understanding		The lecture challenges the misconceptions about elephant behaviors presented in the reading.
extraordinary	ɪkˈstrɔːd(ə)n(ə)ri	adjective	very unusual or remarkable	_	The extraordinary abilities of elephants have been a subject of fascination for many researchers.