TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to the society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion on the topic. However, there is room for improvement in terms of providing more specific examples and elaborating on the arguments. Additionally, some sentences are difficult to understand due to language issues.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

• Elaborate on your points to make them more persuasive.

• Improve sentence structure and grammar for better clarity.

Examples in English:

1. Instead of just mentioning "community services, social justice, and equality," provide specific examples of how citizens can contribute to these areas, such as volunteering at a local food bank or advocating for equal pay.

2. When discussing tax revenue's impact on education, healthcare, and infrastructure construction, provide concrete examples of how these funds are used (e.g., building new schools or hospitals).

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, some paragraphs could be better organized by focusing on one main point per paragraph and using clear transitions between ideas.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Focus on one main point per paragraph.

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Examples in English:

1. In the paragraph discussing the importance of tax payments, start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main point (e.g., "Paying taxes is crucial because it provides essential funding for government services."), then provide supporting details.

2. When transitioning from discussing one view to another or from your arguments to your conclusion, use phrases like "On the other hand," "However," or "In conclusion" to signal the shift in focus.

5. Grammar

It is universally acknowledged that to make a country better, each citizen has various responsibilities. However, when it comes to the issue concerning whether paying taxes is enough to contribute to society, people’s answers may differ greatly from one to another. An array of people reckons that taxes paying alone is enough to be a qualified citizencitizen,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) while some individuals consider there are many more waiting for people to make contributions. On one aspect, there are some validations for plenty of people considering paying taxes an enough contribution. It is well-known that a well-functioning government can be operated through tax support paid by citizens. For example, tax revenue could be applied to many sections such as education, health care, infrastructure construction, and national defense. allAll(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) the points I just mentioned are the major responsibilities of a government. Without tax payments, a government can’t run smoothly. Therefore, it is reasonable and justifiable for some individuals to deem tax payment as a contribution to society. (第一个观点论述) Some might argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities apart from tax payments. There is also some truth in this argument. To make a country better, tax payment is not enough, there are still knotty social problems waiting to be handled. Tax revenue probably makes a difference in the macroscopic aspects like education, health care, and infrastructure construction, but some microscopic areas, like community services, social justice, and equality need more support from citizens, contributing to a better society. For example, citizens could participate in peaceful protests or support organizations that fight for equal rights, which can have a significant impact on society as a whole, and tax payments alone cannot help to address these issues I just mentioned. Therefore, it is reasonable to consider that citizens are supposed to be involved in more responsibilities. （第二个观点展开论述） Well, according to my understanding, with the sweeping speed of social development, tax payments cannot help to address all the social issues because a well-functioning country not only needs financial support funded by tax revenue but also needs advanced civilization with fairness and justice which requires more services and responsibilities from citizens. To establish a harmonious society and promote the well-being and happiness of citizens, people should get engaged in various social activities and push the whole society towards advanced civilization where everyone has the same opportunities to reach their full potential. (综合前面两个点然后综合阐述自己观点) In light of the points I just mentioned, a highly developed country should be equipped with both prosperity supported by tax payments and fairness and justice proclaimed by most citizens who engage in more social responsibilities. Therefore, a combination of tax payments and other social responsibilities could contribute to a better society,

6.Revised Essay

It is widely acknowledged that citizens have various responsibilities to contribute to the betterment of their country. When it comes to the issue of whether paying taxes is sufficient for contributing to society, people's opinions may greatly differ. Some individuals believe that paying taxes alone is enough to be a responsible citizen, while others argue that there are many more ways for people to make meaningful contributions.

On one hand, there are valid reasons for those who consider paying taxes as a sufficient contribution. It is well-known that a well-functioning government relies on tax support provided by its citizens. For instance, tax revenue can be allocated to numerous sectors such as education, healthcare, infrastructure development, and national defense. These areas are the primary responsibilities of any government. Without adequate tax payments, a government cannot operate efficiently. As a result, it is understandable why some individuals view tax payment as an essential contribution to society.

On the other hand, some argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities than merely paying taxes. This argument also holds merit. While tax payments can make a significant difference in macroscopic aspects like education and healthcare, there are still numerous complex social issues that need attention and resolution at the grassroots level. For example, community services, social justice, and equality require active participation from citizens in order to foster positive change within society.

Citizens can contribute by volunteering at local food banks or homeless shelters or participating in peaceful protests advocating for equal rights and opportunities for all members of society. These actions can have a substantial impact on societal progress as a whole; however, tax payments alone cannot address these pressing concerns.

In my opinion, with the rapid pace of social development today, tax payments alone cannot resolve all societal issues because a well-functioning country requires not only financial support through tax revenue but also an advanced civilization characterized by fairness and justice. This necessitates additional services and responsibilities from citizens in order to establish a harmonious society and promote the well-being and happiness of all its members. People should actively engage in various social activities and push society towards a more advanced civilization where everyone has equal opportunities to reach their full potential.

In conclusion, a highly developed country should be equipped with both prosperity supported by tax payments and fairness and justice upheld by citizens who actively engage in social responsibilities. Therefore, a combination of tax payments and other social responsibilities can contribute to the creation of a better society. By fostering an environment where individuals recognize the importance of not only fulfilling their financial obligations but also actively participating in community development, we can ensure that our society continues to progress towards greater equity and prosperity for all.

Essay statistics: {"words": 453, "unique_words": 234} (465 words)

7.Essay Grading

It is universally widely acknowledged that to make a country better, each citizen has citizens have various responsibilities. However, when responsibilities to contribute to the betterment of their country. (This revision provides a more formal and concise introduction to the topic.) When it comes to the issue concerning of whether paying taxes is enough to contribute sufficient for contributing to society, people’s answers people's opinions may differ greatly from one to another. An array of people reckons that differ. (This sentence has been rephrased for clarity and coherence.) Some individuals believe that paying taxes paying alone is enough to be a qualified citizen responsible citizen, while some individuals consider others argue that there are many more waiting ways for people to make meaningful contributions.

On one aspect, hand, there are some validations for plenty of people considering valid reasons for those who consider paying taxes an enough as a sufficient contribution. It is well-known that a well-functioning government relies on tax support provided by its citizens. (The sentence structure has been improved for clarity.) For instance, tax revenue can be operated through tax support paid by citizens. For example, tax revenue could be applied to many sections allocated to numerous sectors such as education, health care, healthcare, infrastructure construction, development, and national defense. all the points I just mentioned These areas are the major primary responsibilities of a any government. Without adequate tax payments, a government can’t run smoothly. Therefore, cannot operate efficiently. As a result, it is reasonable and justifiable for understandable why some individuals to deem view tax payment as a an essential contribution to society. (第一个观点论述) ¶ Some might

On the other hand, some argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities apart from tax payments. There is than merely paying taxes. This argument also some truth in this argument. To holds merit. (The revised sentence provides smoother transitions between ideas.) While tax payments can make a country better, tax payment is not enough, significant difference in macroscopic aspects like education and healthcare, there are still knotty numerous complex social problems waiting to be handled. Tax revenue probably makes a difference in the macroscopic aspects like education, health care, and infrastructure construction, but some microscopic areas, like issues that need attention and resolution at the grassroots level. For example, community services, social justice, and equality need more support require active participation from citizens, contributing to a better society. For example, citizens could participate in order to foster positive change within society.

Citizens can contribute by volunteering at local food banks or homeless shelters or participating in peaceful protests or support organizations that fight advocating for equal rights, which rights and opportunities for all members of society. (This sentence provides specific examples of how citizens can contribute beyond paying taxes.) These actions can have a significant substantial impact on society societal progress as a whole, and whole; however, tax payments alone cannot help to address these issues I just mentioned. Therefore, it is reasonable to consider that citizens are supposed to be involved in more responsibilities. （第二个观点展开论述） ¶ Well, according to pressing concerns.

In my understanding, opinion, with the sweeping speed rapid pace of social development, development today, tax payments alone cannot help to address resolve all the social societal issues because a well-functioning country requires not only needs financial support funded by through tax revenue but also needs an advanced civilization with characterized by fairness and justice which requires more justice. (The sentence has been restructured for better coherence and clarity.) This necessitates additional services and responsibilities from citizens. To citizens in order to establish a harmonious society and promote the well-being and happiness of citizens, people all its members. People should get engaged actively engage in various social activities and push the whole society towards a more advanced civilization where everyone has the same equal opportunities to reach their full potential. (综合前面两个点然后综合阐述自己观点)

In light of the points I just mentioned, conclusion, a highly developed country should be equipped with both prosperity supported by tax payments and fairness and justice proclaimed upheld by most citizens who actively engage in more social responsibilities. (The revised sentence provides a more concise summary of the main points.) Therefore, a combination of tax payments and other social responsibilities could can contribute to the creation of a better society,society. By fostering an environment where individuals recognize the importance of not only fulfilling their financial obligations but also actively participating in community development, we can ensure that our society continues to progress towards greater equity and prosperity for all. (The conclusion has been rephrased for better coherence and impact.)

Essay statistics: {"words": 453, "unique_words": 234}

8.Mind Map

• Thesis statement: A combination of tax payments and other social responsibilities can contribute to a better society.
  • Topic sentence 1: Paying taxes is crucial for supporting government services.
    • Sub-topic: Tax revenue allocation
      • Supporting example: Education, healthcare, infrastructure development, and national defense
  • Topic sentence 2: Citizens have more responsibilities beyond paying taxes.
    • Sub-topic: Addressing complex social issues
      • Supporting example: Community services, social justice, and equality
    • Sub-topic: Active participation in societal change
      • Supporting example: Volunteering at local food banks or homeless shelters, participating in peaceful protests advocating for equal rights and opportunities
  • Conclusion: A highly developed country should be equipped with both prosperity supported by tax payments and fairness and justice upheld by citizens who actively engage in social responsibilities.

9.Key Words

10.Additional Examples

1. Citizens can contribute to environmental conservation by participating in community clean-up events, promoting recycling programs, and advocating for sustainable practices.

2. Encouraging cultural exchange and understanding can help create a more inclusive society; citizens can organize multicultural events or support organizations that promote diversity and tolerance.

3. By volunteering as mentors or tutors, citizens can help improve educational outcomes for disadvantaged youth, fostering a more equitable society where everyone has access to quality education.

4. Supporting local businesses and promoting economic development in underprivileged areas can contribute to reducing income inequality and improving overall living standards within a community.

5. Participating in local government decision-making processes, such as attending town hall meetings or joining neighborhood associations, allows citizens to have a direct impact on policies that affect their communities.