TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Some people think hosting major international sporting events bring a lot of advantages, while others believe there are more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay addresses the task requirements by discussing both views and providing the writer's opinion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of clarity and depth of the arguments. To enhance the essay, it would be helpful to provide more specific examples and evidence to support each point of view. Additionally, refining language use will make the essay more coherent and persuasive.

Example improvements:

1. Original sentence: "For example, China hosted the 2008 World Olympic event in Beijing, contributing great economic boom." Improved sentence: "For instance, when China hosted the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, it led to a significant economic boost due to increased tourism and investments."

2. Original sentence: "Also hosting sporting events often requires the construction or renovation of infrastructure..." Improved sentence: "Moreover, hosting such events necessitates the development or upgrading of infrastructure..."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be improved for better coherence. Additionally, refining topic sentences for each paragraph will help guide readers through your arguments more effectively.

Example improvements:

1. Original transition: "On the other hand, the opponents may argue that..." Improved transition: "Conversely, critics contend that..."

2. Original topic sentence: "There are many benefits to hosting major international sporting events." Improved topic sentence: "Proponents of hosting international sporting events highlight several advantages such as economic growth and improved infrastructure."

5. Grammar

When it comes to the issue concerning whether hosting major international sporting events has more value or not, some people argue that there are many advantages to hosting major international sporting events. someSome(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) individuals hold the opposite opinion. This essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion. There are many benefits to hosting major international sporting events. There are some validitiesvalidates(misspelling) in this argument. Those who support this view may maintain that sponsoring major international sporting events will promote economic development. For example, China hosted the 2008 World Olympic event in Beijing, contributing greata great(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) economic boom. Plenty of sports athletes and tourists both from home and abroad join in Beijing, promoting local people’s incomes and government revenue from various sectors, like food consumption, transportation, cultural productsproducts'(Possessive apostrophe error) sale, and tourism revenue. Also hosting sporting events often requires the construction or renovation of infrastructure, such as stadiums, transportation systems, and public facilities of the event, but also leaves a legacy of long-term beneficiary events for the city’s residents and into the future. On the other hand, the opponents may argue that the disadvantages of supporting world sports events cannot be neglected. Those who support this view may maintain that sponsoring major international sporting events will require huge investments, including venue construction, security, and volunteer training. If the budget is unreasonable or poorly managed, it may lead to excessive financial burden, excessive waste of public resources, and budget accumulation. thereThere(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) are also some disadvantages socialof social(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'of' is missing in a sentence.) issues and security risks: major international sporting events may cause some social problems, such as violent conflicts during events, alcoholism, overcrowding, etc. At the same time, because the event attracts high public attention, it may also become the target of terrorist attacks or criminal activities, increasing security risks. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))In my opinion, I think the merits far outweigh the drawbacks. Apart from fueling economic development, and making the host country well-known to the world population, hosting big sports events could also promote social unity and inspiration-- Sports events have the power to unite people and inspire social unity and support at home and abroad. They provide a common event for the public, inspire people to pursue sportsmanship and healthy lifestyles, and stimulate the interest in sports of the younger generation. wellWell(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter), some drawbacks mentioned above could be brought under control accordingly. For example, some sports stadiums after the Olympic gamesOlympic Games(Checks upper/lower case spelling of some proper nouns) could be rented to the outside both for hosting events or tourism, reducing their vacant rate and making full use of them. Even some negative social impacts mentioned above could also be managed properly by local policemen.
In conclusion, in light of the points I just mentioned, the benefit of hosting international sports events far outweighs the disadvantages of them.

6.Revised Essay

Debates surrounding the hosting of major international sporting events often center on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. While some people argue that these events bring numerous benefits, others maintain that the drawbacks are more significant. This essay will explore both perspectives and provide my own opinion.

Proponents of hosting international sporting events highlight several advantages, such as economic growth and improved infrastructure. For instance, when China hosted the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, it led to a significant economic boost due to increased tourism and investments. The influx of athletes and tourists from around the world stimulated local income and government revenue in various sectors, including food consumption, transportation, cultural product sales, and tourism revenue. Moreover, hosting such events necessitates the development or upgrading of infrastructure like stadiums, transportation systems, and public facilities. These improvements not only benefit the event itself but also leave a lasting legacy for city residents in the long term.

Conversely, critics contend that there are considerable disadvantages associated with supporting international sports events. They argue that these events require massive investments in venue construction, security measures, and volunteer training. If budgets are mismanaged or unreasonable, this can lead to excessive financial burdens on host cities or countries as well as wastage of public resources. Furthermore, major sporting events may give rise to social issues such as violent conflicts during matches or alcohol-related problems due to overcrowding at venues. Additionally, these high-profile events may attract criminal activities or even terrorist attacks due to their global visibility.

Despite these concerns, I believe that the benefits of hosting international sports events far outweigh their drawbacks. In addition to fueling economic development and raising global awareness about host countries or cities, these large-scale competitions can also foster social unity and inspiration among citizens. Sports events have a unique ability to unite people from diverse backgrounds while promoting sportsmanship and healthy lifestyles among participants and spectators alike.

Moreover, many of the aforementioned disadvantages can be mitigated through proper planning and management. For example, post-event utilization of sports stadiums can be maximized by renting them out for other events or tourism purposes, thereby reducing vacancy rates and ensuring their continued usefulness. Furthermore, negative social impacts can be managed effectively through the implementation of robust security measures and cooperation between local law enforcement agencies.

In conclusion, considering the various points discussed in this essay, I firmly believe that the advantages of hosting international sports events far surpass their disadvantages. The potential for economic growth, improved infrastructure, and increased social cohesion makes these events worthwhile endeavors for host cities and countries. With careful planning and management, many of the potential drawbacks can be minimized or even eliminated altogether, allowing these events to serve as a source of pride and inspiration for all involved. (463 words)

When it comes to the issue concerning whether 7.Essay Grading

Debates surrounding the hosting of major international sporting events has more value or not, often center on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. (This opening sentence provides a clear context for the essay.) While some people argue that there these events bring numerous benefits, others maintain that the drawbacks are many advantages to hosting major international sporting events. some individuals hold the opposite opinion. more significant. (This sentence introduces both perspectives.) This essay will discuss explore both views and give perspectives and provide my own opinion.

There are many benefits to Proponents of hosting major international sporting events. There are some validities in this argument. Those who support this view may maintain that sponsoring major international sporting events will promote events highlight several advantages, such as economic development. growth and improved infrastructure. (This topic sentence clearly states the main idea of the paragraph.) For example, instance, when China hosted the 2008 World Olympic event Games in Beijing, contributing great it led to a significant economic boom. Plenty of sports boost due to increased tourism and investments. (The example is specific and supports the main idea.) The influx of athletes and tourists both from home and abroad join in Beijing, promoting around the world stimulated local people’s incomes income and government revenue from in various sectors, like including food consumption, transportation, cultural products sale, product sales, and tourism revenue. Also (This sentence provides further details about how economic growth occurs.) Moreover, hosting sporting events often requires the construction or renovation of infrastructure, such as events necessitates the development or upgrading of infrastructure like stadiums, transportation systems, and public facilities of the event, facilities. (The word "moreover" serves as a smooth transition between ideas.) These improvements not only benefit the event itself but also leaves a leave a lasting legacy of for city residents in the long term. (This sentence concludes this paragraph by emphasizing long-term beneficiary events for the city’s residents and into the future. benefits.)

On the other hand, the opponents may Conversely, critics contend that there are considerable disadvantages associated with supporting international sports events. (The word "conversely" signals a shift in perspective.) They argue that the disadvantages of supporting world sports events cannot be neglected. Those who support this view may maintain that sponsoring major international sporting events will these events require huge investments, including massive investments in venue construction, security, security measures, and volunteer training. If the budget is unreasonable or poorly managed, it may budgets are mismanaged or unreasonable, this can lead to excessive financial burden, excessive waste burdens on host cities or countries as well as wastage of public resources, and budget accumulation. there are also some disadvantages resources. Furthermore, major sporting events may give rise to social issues and security risks: major international sporting events may cause some social problems, such as violent conflicts during events, alcoholism, overcrowding, etc. At the same time, because the event attracts high public attention, it matches or alcohol-related problems due to overcrowding at venues. Additionally, these high-profile events may also become the target of attract criminal activities or even terrorist attacks or criminal activities, increasing security risks. due to their global visibility. (These sentences provide a clear overview of the disadvantages.)

In my opinion, Despite these concerns, I think the merits believe that the benefits of hosting international sports events far outweigh the their drawbacks. Apart from (This sentence introduces the writer's opinion.) In addition to fueling economic development, and making the development and raising global awareness about host country well-known to the world population, hosting big sports events could countries or cities, these large-scale competitions can also promote foster social unity and inspiration-- inspiration among citizens. Sports events have the power a unique ability to unite people and inspire social unity and support at home and abroad. They provide a common event for the public, inspire people to pursue from diverse backgrounds while promoting sportsmanship and healthy lifestyles, and stimulate the interest in sports of the younger generation. well, some drawbacks mentioned above could lifestyles among participants and spectators alike.

Moreover, many of the aforementioned disadvantages can be brought under control accordingly. mitigated through proper planning and management. For example, some post-event utilization of sports stadiums after the Olympic games could can be rented to the outside both maximized by renting them out for hosting events or tourism, other events or tourism purposes, thereby reducing vacancy rates and ensuring their vacant rate and making full use of them. Even some continued usefulness. Furthermore, negative social impacts mentioned above could also can be managed properly by effectively through the implementation of robust security measures and cooperation between local policemen. law enforcement agencies.

In conclusion, considering the various points discussed in light of the points this essay, I just mentioned, the benefit firmly believe that the advantages of hosting international sports events far outweighs the disadvantages of them.surpass their disadvantages. (This sentence restates the writer's opinion.) The potential for economic growth, improved infrastructure, and increased social cohesion makes these events worthwhile endeavors for host cities and countries. With careful planning and management, many of the potential drawbacks can be minimized or even eliminated altogether, allowing these events to serve as a source of pride and inspiration for all involved. (This final sentence effectively summarizes the main points while providing a strong conclusion.)

8.Mind Map

• Thesis statement: Advantages outweigh disadvantages
  • Topic sentence 1: Economic growth and improved infrastructure
    • Sub-topic: Increased tourism and investments
      • Supporting example: 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing
    • Sub-topic: Development or upgrading of infrastructure
      • Supporting example: Stadiums, transportation systems, public facilities
  • Topic sentence 2: Disadvantages of hosting international sports events
    • Sub-topic: Massive investments required
      • Supporting example: Venue construction, security measures, volunteer training
    • Sub-topic: Social issues and security risks
      • Supporting example: Violent conflicts, alcohol-related problems, criminal activities, terrorist attacks
  • Conclusion: Benefits outweigh drawbacks with proper planning and management

9.Key Words

10.Additional Examples

1. Sub-opinion: Job creation

   • Explanation: Hosting major sporting events can create numerous temporary and permanent jobs.
   • Supporting example: Employment opportunities in construction, hospitality, and security sectors.

2. Sub-opinion: International cooperation

   • Explanation: Organizing such events fosters collaboration between countries and promotes cultural exchange.
   • Supporting example: The 2014 FIFA World Cup in Brazil brought together teams and fans from around the world.

3. Sub-opinion: Environmental concerns

   • Explanation: Hosting large-scale events can have negative environmental impacts.
   • Supporting example: Increased carbon emissions from transportation and construction activities.

4. Sub-opinion: Boost to local businesses

   • Explanation: Local businesses benefit from increased demand for goods and services during the event.
   • Supporting example: Restaurants, hotels, and souvenir shops experiencing higher sales during the event period.

5. Sub-opinion: National pride

   • Explanation: Successfully hosting a major sports event can instill a sense of pride among citizens.
   • Supporting example: The pride felt by South Africans when they hosted the 2010 FIFA World Cup.