TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Global warming is a myth, do you agree or disagree ?

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度：4

• 组织：4

• 连贯性和衔接：3

• 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

• 24

3.任务完成度 总体来说，文章回答了题目，并给出了赞成和反对的观点。但是，文章在表达观点时有些模糊，部分论据不够充分。建议在写作时更加明确地阐述自己的观点，并给出更有说服力的论据。

改进示例1： 原文：“Some scientists believed that the Earth temperature increased because we are in the warming age of the Earth.” 修改后：“Some scientists argue that the current increase in Earth's temperature is due to a natural warming cycle, rather than human activities.”

改进示例2： 原文：“Therefore , they are not willing to recognized that global warming is an issue caused by artificial activities like :fossil fuel industry.” 修改后：“Therefore, they are reluctant to acknowledge that global warming is primarily caused by human activities, such as the burning of fossil fuels.”

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构基本合理，包括引言、正文和结论。但是，在段落之间的过渡和衔接方面还有待加强。建议使用更多的过渡词汇和句型来使文章更加连贯。

改进示例1： 原文：“However, some environmentalists strongly disagree the ideas “Global warming is a myth”.” 修改后：“On the other hand, some environmentalists strongly disagree with the notion that global warming is a myth.”

改进示例2： 原文：“About the hight cost of developing renewable energy, some supporters argued that the prior research and construction of renewable energy may be expensive, but it costs little from the long period compared with fossil fuels.” 修改后：“Regarding the high cost of developing renewable energy, proponents argue that although initial research and construction may be expensive, in the long run, it is more cost-effective compared to fossil fuels.”

5. 语法批改

Recently, environmentalists advocated that the society should take measures to prevent global warming, while some people disagree. The argument around “ “ (Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses)Global warming is a myth” has been a topic of discussion, this essay will examine the reasons for and against this argument. The major argument for ‘’Global warming is a myth”[No Replacement Word Found](Unpaired braces, brackets, quotation marks and similar symbols) is that they think global warming is a natural event rather than artificialan artificial(This rule identifies whether the article 'an' is missing in a sentence.) result. The overall temperature on earth varies during different historical period. For example, the temperature on earth is low during the Ice Age; Some scientists believed that the Earth temperature increased because we are in the warming age of the Earth. Apart from that, people in developing country supporting the argument stand from realistic reasons. Compare to the fossil fuel, the cost of developing renewable energy is relatively high. They tend to choose fossil fuels to make powerpower,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) even though they are not environmental friendly. Meanwhile, fossil fuel industry is the main industry in many developing countrymany developing countries(Possible agreement error: 'many/several/few' + singular countable noun). These heavy industries produce interests and job positions for the countries. Therefore ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) they are not willing to recognized that global warming is an issue caused by artificial activities like :fossil fuel industry. However, some environmentalists strongly disagree theto the(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) ideas “Global warming is a myth”. They criticized that the society should not keep ignoring the serious issues caused by global warming. The increasing temperature brings drought to some countries, the crops stop growing in the earth which caused serious hungry crisis in those country. Apart from human being, animals are also suffering from hungry because of global warming ..(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) In Arctic pole, ana(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') large amount of ice melt because of the high temperature ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) (Two consecutive spaces)making increasing number ofthe increasing number of((a) bunch of) polar bears died from hungry. About the hightheight(misspelling) cost of developing renewable energy, some supporters argued that the prior research and construction of renewable energy may be expensive, but it costs little from the long period compared with fossil fuels. meanwhileMeanwhile(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter), fossil fuels ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) as a unsustainable resourcesa unsustainable resource(Agreement: 'a' + plural word), are running out ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) people have to dig and drill more deeperdeeper(No 'more' or 'most' before comparatives) to find fossil fuel resources, which destroy habitat of animals and plants seriously ..(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) To conclude ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) in my opinion, I think global warming is not a myth, it is actually happened ..(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) Even though we are in warma warm(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) age of Earth, it is not deniable that human activities aggravated global warming ..(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) In order to protect people and animals who are suffering from the climate change caused by global warming ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) we should start from ourselves. For citizens, we should switch off the electric machine when not using it ..(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) And for government, they should invest in developing renewable energy ..(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses)

6.文章修订

Recently, environmentalists have advocated that society should take measures to prevent global warming, while some people disagree. The argument surrounding whether "global warming is a myth" has been a topic of discussion. This essay will examine the reasons for and against this argument.

The major argument for "global warming is a myth" is that proponents believe global warming is a natural event rather than an artificial result. The overall temperature on Earth varies during different historical periods. For instance, the temperature on Earth was low during the Ice Age. Some scientists argue that the current increase in Earth's temperature is due to a natural warming cycle, rather than human activities.

Furthermore, people in developing countries support this argument for practical reasons. Compared to fossil fuels, the cost of developing renewable energy is relatively high. They tend to choose fossil fuels to generate power even though they are not environmentally friendly. Meanwhile, the fossil fuel industry is the main industry in many developing countries. These heavy industries produce profits and job opportunities for these nations. Therefore, they are reluctant to acknowledge that global warming is primarily caused by human activities, such as burning fossil fuels.

On the other hand, some environmentalists strongly disagree with the notion that global warming is a myth. They criticize society for continuing to ignore the serious issues caused by global warming. The increasing temperature brings droughts to some countries, causing crops to stop growing and leading to severe hunger crises in those regions. Apart from humans, animals also suffer from hunger due to global warming. In the Arctic pole, a large amount of ice melts because of high temperatures, resulting in an increasing number of polar bears dying from starvation.

Regarding the high cost of developing renewable energy, proponents argue that although initial research and construction may be expensive, in the long run, it is more cost-effective compared to fossil fuels. Additionally, fossil fuels are unsustainable resources that are running out; people have to dig and drill deeper to find fossil fuel resources, which severely destroys the habitats of animals and plants.

In conclusion, I believe that global warming is not a myth; it is indeed happening. Even though we are in a warm age of Earth, it is undeniable that human activities have exacerbated global warming. In order to protect people and animals suffering from climate change caused by global warming, we should start with ourselves. As citizens, we should turn off electrical devices when not in use. Governments should invest in developing renewable energy sources to reduce our reliance on fossil fuels and mitigate the effects of global warming.

Essay statistics: {"words": 453, "unique_words": 240} (442 words)

7.文章批改

Recently, environmentalists have advocated that the society should take measures to prevent global warming, while some people disagree. (This sentence was revised to make it more concise and clear.) The argument around “ Global warming is a myth” surrounding whether "global warming is a myth" has been a topic of discussion, this discussion. This essay will examine the reasons for and against this argument.

The major argument for ‘’Global warming is a myth” is that they think "global warming is a myth" is that proponents believe global warming is a natural event rather than an artificial result. (The sentence was rephrased to clarify the stance of those who believe global warming is a myth.) The overall temperature on earth Earth varies during different historical period. periods. For example, instance, the temperature on earth is Earth was low during the Ice Age; Age. Some scientists believed that the Earth argue that the current increase in Earth's temperature increased because we are in the warming age of the Earth. is due to a natural warming cycle, rather than human activities. (This sentence was revised to provide a clearer explanation of the scientists' viewpoint.)

Apart from that, Furthermore, people in developing country supporting the countries support this argument stand from realistic for practical reasons. Compare to the fossil fuel, Compared to fossil fuels, the cost of developing renewable energy is relatively high. They tend to choose fossil fuels to make generate power even though they are not environmental environmentally friendly. Meanwhile, the fossil fuel industry is the main industry in many developing country. countries. These heavy industries produce interests profits and job positions for the countries. Therefore , opportunities for these nations. Therefore, they are not willing to recognized that global warming is an issue reluctant to acknowledge that global warming is primarily caused by artificial activities like :fossil fuel industry. human activities, such as burning fossil fuels. (The paragraph was revised for clarity and coherence.)

However, On the other hand, some environmentalists strongly disagree the ideas “Global warming is a myth”. with the notion that global warming is a myth. They criticized that the criticize society should not keep ignoring for continuing to ignore the serious issues caused by global warming. The increasing temperature brings drought droughts to some countries, the causing crops to stop growing in the earth which caused serious hungry crisis and leading to severe hunger crises in those country. regions. Apart from human being, humans, animals are also suffering suffer from hungry because of global warming . hunger due to global warming. In the Arctic pole, an a large amount of ice melt melts because of the high temperature , making temperatures, resulting in an increasing number of polar bears died dying from hungry. starvation. (The paragraph was revised to improve sentence structure and clarity.)

About the hight Regarding the high cost of developing renewable energy, some supporters argued that the prior proponents argue that although initial research and construction of renewable energy may be expensive, but in the long run, it costs little from the long period is more cost-effective compared with to fossil fuels. meanwhile, (This sentence was revised for clarity and coherence.) Additionally, fossil fuels , as a are unsustainable resources, resources that are running out , out; people have to dig and drill more deeper to find fossil fuel resources, which destroy habitat severely destroys the habitats of animals and plants seriously . plants. (The sentence was restructured for better flow.)

To conclude , in my opinion, In conclusion, I think believe that global warming is not a myth, myth; it is actually happened . indeed happening. Even though we are in a warm age of Earth, it is not deniable undeniable that human activities aggravated global warming . have exacerbated global warming. In order to protect people and animals who are suffering from the climate change caused by global warming , warming, we should start from with ourselves. For As citizens, we should switch turn off the electric machine electrical devices when not using it . And for government, they in use. Governments should invest in developing renewable energy .sources to reduce our reliance on fossil fuels and mitigate the effects of global warming. (The conclusion was revised for better coherence and stronger emphasis on the writer's opinion.)

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Global warming is not a myth

  • Topic sentence 1: Natural warming cycle argument
    • Sub-topic: Historical temperature variations
    • Supporting example: Ice Age
  • Topic sentence 2: Developing countries' perspective
    • Sub-topic: Cost of renewable energy
    • Supporting example: Fossil fuel industry's role in developing countries
  • Topic sentence 3: Environmentalists' disagreement
    • Sub-topic: Serious issues caused by global warming
    • Supporting example: Droughts and hunger crises
    • Supporting example: Polar bears dying from starvation
  • Topic sentence 4: Cost-effectiveness of renewable energy
    • Sub-topic: Long-term benefits of renewable energy
    • Supporting example: Unsustainability of fossil fuels and habitat destruction

• Conclusion:

  • Personal opinion on global warming's existence
  • Suggestions for individual and government actions

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Sub-opinion: Sea level rise

   • Explanation: Global warming causes glaciers and ice sheets to melt.
   • Supporting example: Many coastal cities are at risk of flooding due to sea level rise.

2. Sub-opinion: Extreme weather events

   • Explanation: Global warming contributes to more frequent and severe weather events.
   • Supporting example: Hurricanes, heatwaves, and wildfires have increased in recent years.

3. Sub-opinion: Biodiversity loss

   • Explanation: Global warming disrupts ecosystems and leads to species extinction.
   • Supporting example: The Great Barrier Reef has experienced massive coral bleaching due to rising ocean temperatures.

4. Sub-opinion: Economic impact

   • Explanation: Global warming affects agriculture, infrastructure, and human health, leading to economic losses.
   • Supporting example: Droughts can cause crop failures, resulting in higher food prices and economic instability.

5. Sub-opinion: International cooperation

   • Explanation: Tackling global warming requires collaborative efforts from countries worldwide.
   • Supporting example: The Paris Agreement aims to limit global temperature rise by reducing greenhouse gas emissions.