TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific concerns presented in the reading passage.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they respond to the concerns presented in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in terms of language use and clarity. To improve the essay, it would be helpful to:

• Use more precise vocabulary and avoid repetition.

• Ensure that sentences are clear and concise.

• Avoid using colloquial expressions or informal language.

Example 1: Original sentence: "However, the lecturer disagrees with the pont of view of the passage." Improved sentence: "However, the lecturer refutes the arguments presented in the passage."

Example 2: Original sentence: "In this way, not only will the act harm the atmosphere, it could also lower the pollutants we already had in our living environment." Improved sentence: "In this manner, algae farming not only prevents further harm to the atmosphere but also reduces existing pollutants in our environment."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each concern, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and transitions between ideas. To enhance organization:

• Provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph.

• Use appropriate transition words or phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs.

Example 1: Original sentence: "First of all, the passage states that growing algae would cause farming issues like taking up too much farmable land and worsening the food shortage issue." Improved sentence with transition word: "Firstly, according to the passage, growing algae could lead to problems such as occupying valuable farmland and exacerbating food shortages."

Example 2: Original paragraph: "Secondly, the passage reads that lecturer growing algae requires huge startup costs, but the lecturer tells us that algae could be harvested every single week, which is nearly 20 times more than corn, the usual plant to derive biofuels. Therefore, the huge startup could easily be made up and would not be a problem." Improved paragraph with better organization: "Secondly, while the passage argues that cultivating algae entails significant startup costs, the lecturer counters this by highlighting that algae can be harvested weekly. This frequency is approximately 20 times greater than corn, a common source of biofuel. Consequently, the high production volume offsets the initial investment and mitigates financial concerns."

5. Grammar

In the reading, the author states that deriving fuels from algae is not a great idea. However, the lecturer disagrees with the pontpoint(misspelling) of view of the passage.

First of allFirst(first of all (first)), the passage states that growing algae would cause farming issues like taking up too much farmable land and worsening the food shortage issue.The The(Missing space between sentences) lecturer claims that this situation wouldn't need to happen since algae still thrives in infertilizedunfertilized(misspelling) area, useless lands, and even dirty water.

Secondly, the passage reads that lecturer growing algae requires huge startup costs, but the lecturer tells us that algae could be harvested every single week, which is nearly 20 times more than corn, the usual plant to derive biofuels. Therefore, the huge startup could easily be made up and would not be a problem.

Last but not least, the passage mentions the CO2 which is important to grow algae could pose a threat to the environment. The lecturer opposes this point by saying there's no need for new CO2 to feed the algae since the algae farmer could just use the CO2 released from all the factories. In this way, not only will the act harm the atmosphere, it could also lower the pollutants we already had in our living environment.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading passage presents several concerns regarding the use of algae-derived biofuels, while the lecture counters these concerns with potential solutions.

Firstly, the reading asserts that large-scale algae farming would consume valuable land and water resources, exacerbating food shortages. However, the lecturer contends that algae can thrive in infertile areas and even in dirty water, making it possible to cultivate them on land unsuitable for food crops without wasting resources.

Secondly, the passage highlights the high startup costs associated with algae farming due to expensive equipment requirements. In contrast, the lecturer explains that algae can be harvested and regrown weekly, yielding approximately twenty times more fuel annually compared to traditional biofuel crops like corn. This increased fuel production would help offset the initial investment costs rapidly.

Lastly, the reading passage raises concerns about the significant amounts of carbon dioxide (CO2) needed for algae growth and its potential negative impact on the environment. The lecturer refutes this by suggesting that instead of generating new CO2, waste CO2 from factories could be utilized to feed algae. This approach would not only prevent additional pollution but also help reduce existing CO2 emissions by redirecting them into algae-growing tanks.

In conclusion, despite the concerns raised in the reading passage about land and water usage, high startup costs, and CO2 emissions associated with algae-derived biofuels, the lecture provides compelling counterarguments demonstrating their potential as a sustainable energy source. (238 words)

Revised essay: In the reading, the author states that deriving fuels from algae is not a great idea.

However, the lecturer disagrees with the pont point (corrected "pont") of view of the passage.

First of all, the passage states that growing algae would cause farming issues like taking up too much farmable land and worsening the food shortage issue.The issue. The lecturer claims that this situation wouldn't need to happen since algae still thrives in infertilized area, infertile (corrected "infertilized") areas, useless lands, and even dirty water.

Secondly, the passage reads that lecturer growing (corrected "lecturer") algae requires huge startup costs, but the lecturer tells us that algae could be harvested every single week, which is nearly 20 times more than corn, the usual plant to derive biofuels. Therefore, the huge startup cost (corrected "startup") could easily be made up and would not be a problem.

Last but not least, the passage mentions the that CO2 which is important to grow algae could pose a threat to the environment. The lecturer opposes this point by saying there's no need for new CO2 to feed the algae since the algae farmer algae farmers (corrected "the algae farmer") could just use the CO2 released from all the factories. In this way, not only will the act this approach (clarified "the act") not harm the atmosphere, it could also lower the pollutants we already had have in our living environment.environment (clarified "had in our living environment").

8. Mind Map

- Algae-derived biofuels
    - Concerns from reading passage
        - Land and water usage
        - High startup costs
        - CO2 emissions
    - Counterarguments from lecture
        - Algae cultivation in infertile areas and dirty water
        - High fuel production offsets initial investment costs
        - Utilizing waste CO2 from factories for algae growth

9. Key Words