TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.
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During a period known as the Bronze Age, there were several urban civilizations in the eastern Mediterranean region that prospered by producing or trading for bronze, a metal alloy that was used to create products such as tools and building materials. However, this prosperity abruptly ended in a period called the Late Bronze Age Collapse, so that by approximately 1175 BCE, many of the region's great cities had greatly diminished, and some had more or less ceased to exist. Historians have long tried to identify the primary reason for the collapse. First, some point to a massive earthquake storm. Major earthquakes sometimes become very frequent for months or even years at a time in clusters known as storms. Scientists have discovered that the eastern Mediterranean region was hit by an earthquake storm around the time these civilizations collapsed. Some of the remains of walls built during the Late Bronze Age still exist. These large stone walls lean to one side over long distances; this kind of damage is often associated with earthquakes. Second, others have proposed that the civilizations were conquered and destroyed by the Sea Peoples, a band of warriors from different Mediterranean states. Archaeologists discovered that a new style of pottery associated with the Sea Peoples became widespread in areas where some important cities were in decline. The Sea Peoples likely conquered these urban civilizations, leaving massive destruction in their wake. A third theory holds that the collapse was due to climate change affecting food supplies. This theory is supported by written evidence, such as a letter sent not long before the collapse from the ruler of one important civilization to another. The letter has been translated as indicating, "I have no grain in my lands." There is also geological evidence which suggests that before the collapse, the climate became much drier. The affected civilizations probably experienced extreme food shortages due to drought.
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Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.
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The primary focus of both the text and the talk centers around the collapsing of civilizations at the end of Bronze Age. While the article presents three feasible reasons for the Late Bronze Age Collapse, the professor systematically challenges and scrutinizes the author's claims, pointing out serous flaws throughout the lecture and ultimately debunks each of the writer's arguments. To begin with, the passage introduces the idea that earthquakes storms would have lead to this collapse, due to the remaining building which dates back to Bronze Age. However, the teacher takes issue with this assertion and contends that nowadays scientists thanks to new technology andtheir valuable knowledge can estimate the time of early earthquakes. As a result, researchers' determination shows that earthquakes happend and cused damages to the buildings before the late of Broze Age. Additionally, she mentions that there is no evidence why they did not repare distruction which were caused by earthquakes. Moving on, the reading claims that Sea Peoples from different locations could have concured the cities and left immense distruction. Conversely, the lecturer once again rebuts this point by mentioning that Sea Peoples were not be able to do these disruction due to the lack of warfares such as swords in these areas. In addition, she underscores that those peoples may have gone to these places after native people left their city. Finally, the essay wraps up its argument by positing that climate change during that period would have casued dry weather which may have led to lack of food supplies. Mrovere, there is a written evidence for testifying that. As anticipated, the speaker counter-argues this proposition by stating that they were be able to survive since they kept grains in storage. Therefore, the rulers distributed these supplies among people during food shortage periods.
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1.Sub Scores
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Task fulfillment: 4
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Organization: 4
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Coherence and Cohesion: 4
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Language Use: 3
2.Estimated Scores
- Estimated Score: 25
3.Task completeness The essay effectively summarizes the points made in the lecture and explains how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in the content, and the language use could be improved for better clarity. To enhance task fulfillment, ensure that all details are accurately represented and work on refining your language use.
Example 1: Original: "However, the teacher takes issue with this assertion and contends that nowadays scientists thanks to new technology and their valuable knowledge can estimate the time of early earthquakes." Improved: "However, the professor disagrees with this assertion, stating that modern technology allows scientists to accurately estimate when these earthquakes occurred."
Example 2: Original: "Mrovere, there is a written evidence for testifying that." Improved: "Moreover, there is written evidence supporting this claim."
4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point from the lecture, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be improved for better coherence. Additionally, consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance readability.
Example 1: Original: "To begin with, the passage introduces... However, the teacher takes issue..." Improved: "The passage initially suggests that... Contrarily, the professor disputes this notion by arguing..."
Example 2: Original: "Moving on, the reading claims... Conversely, the lecturer once again rebuts..." Improved: "Next, the reading posits... In contrast, the lecturer refutes this idea by stating..."
5. Grammar
The primary focus of both the text and the talk centers around the collapsing of civilizations at the end of Bronze Age. While the article presents three feasible reasons for the Late Bronze Age Collapse, the professor systematically challenges and scrutinizes the author's claims, pointing out serous flaws throughout the lecture and ultimately debunks each of the writer's arguments.
To begin with, the passage introduces the idea that earthquakes storms would have leadled(Detects potentially wrong usage of "lead" instead of "led") to this collapse, due to the remaining building which dates back to Bronze Age. However, the teacher takes issue with this assertion and contends that nowadays scientists thanks to new technology andtheirand their(misspelling) valuable knowledge can estimate the time of early earthquakes. As a result, researchers' determination shows that earthquakes happendhappened(misspelling) and cusedused(misspelling) damages to the buildings before the late[No Replacement Word Found](ARTICLE ADJECTIVE of) of BrozeBroke(misspelling) Age. Additionally, she mentions that there is no evidence why they did not reparerepair(misspelling) distructiondestruction(misspelling) which were caused by earthquakes.
Moving on, the reading claims that Sea Peoples from different locations could have concuredconcurred(misspelling) the cities and left immense distructiondestruction(misspelling). Conversely, the lecturer once again rebuts this point by mentioning that Sea Peoples were not be ableable(I am not (be) in the office) to do these disructiondisruption(misspelling) due to the lack of warfareswarfare(misspelling) such as swords in these areas. In addition, she underscores that those peoples may have gone to these places after native people left their city.
Finally, the essay wraps up its argument by positing that climate change during that period would have casuedcaused(misspelling) dry weather which may have led to lack of food supplies. MrovereMortar(misspelling), there is a written evidence for testifying that. As anticipated, the speaker counter-argues this proposition by stating that they were bewere being(Agreement: 'been' or 'was' + past tense) able to survive since they kept grains in storage. Therefore, the rulers distributed these supplies among people during food shortage periods.
Section title: 6. Revised Essay
The primary focus of both the text and the talk centers around the collapsing of civilizations at the end of the Bronze Age. While the article presents three feasible reasons for the Late Bronze Age Collapse, the professor systematically challenges and scrutinizes the author's claims, pointing out serious flaws throughout the lecture and ultimately debunks each of the writer's arguments.
To begin with, the passage introduces the idea that earthquake storms would have led to this collapse, due to remaining buildings which date back to Bronze Age. However, the teacher takes issue with this assertion and contends that nowadays scientists, thanks to new technology and their valuable knowledge, can estimate the time of early earthquakes. As a result, researchers' determination shows that earthquakes happened and caused damages to buildings before the late Bronze Age. Additionally, she mentions that there is no evidence why they did not repair destruction which was caused by earthquakes.
Moving on, the reading claims that Sea Peoples from different locations could have conquered cities and left immense destruction. Conversely, the lecturer once again rebuts this point by mentioning that Sea Peoples were not able to do these destructions due to a lack of warfare such as swords in these areas. In addition, she underscores that those peoples may have gone to these places after native people left their city.
Finally, the essay wraps up its argument by positing that climate change during that period would have caused dry weather which may have led to a lack of food supplies. Moreover, there is written evidence for testifying that. As anticipated, the speaker counter-argues this proposition by stating that they were able to survive since they kept grains in storage. Therefore, rulers distributed these supplies among people during food shortage periods. (298 words)
The primary focus of both the text and the talk centers around the collapsing of civilizations at the end of the Bronze Age. While the article presents three feasible reasons for the Late Bronze Age Collapse, the professor systematically challenges and scrutinizes the author's claims, pointing out serous serious (revised for correct spelling) flaws throughout the lecture and ultimately debunks each of the writer's arguments.
To begin with, the passage introduces the idea that earthquakes earthquake storms (revised for clarity) would have lead led (revised for correct tense) to this collapse, due to the remaining building buildings which dates date back to Bronze Age. However, the teacher takes issue with this assertion and contends that nowadays scientists scientists, thanks to new technology andtheir and their valuable knowledge (revised for clarity), can estimate the time of early earthquakes. As a result, researchers' determination shows that earthquakes happend and cused happened and caused damages to the buildings before the late of Broze Bronze Age. Additionally, she mentions that there is no evidence why they did not repare distruction repair destruction which were was (revised for correct tense) caused by earthquakes.
Moving on, the reading claims that Sea Peoples from different locations could have concured the conquered (revised for correct spelling) cities and left immense distruction. destruction. Conversely, the lecturer once again rebuts this point by mentioning that Sea Peoples were not be able to do these disruction destructions due to the a lack of warfares warfare (revised for clarity) such as swords in these areas. In addition, she underscores that those peoples may have gone to these places after native people left their city.
Finally, the essay wraps up its argument by positing that climate change during that period would have casued caused dry weather which may have led to a lack of food supplies. Mrovere, Moreover, there is a written evidence for testifying (revised for clarity) that. As anticipated, the speaker counter-argues this proposition by stating that they were be able to survive since they kept grains in storage. Therefore, the rulers distributed these supplies among people during food shortage periods.
8. Mind Map
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Introduction
- Late Bronze Age Collapse
- Article's claims vs. Professor's counterarguments
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Earthquake Storms
- Article: Buildings dating back to Bronze Age suggest earthquakes
- Lecture: Scientists can estimate earlier earthquakes, no evidence of unrepaired damages
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Sea Peoples
- Article: Conquered cities and caused destruction
- Lecture: Lack of warfare evidence, Sea Peoples may have arrived after native people left
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Climate Change
- Article: Dry weather led to lack of food supplies, written evidence supports this claim
- Lecture: Grain storage allowed survival during food shortages
9. Key Words
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | English Translation (if needed) | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Collapse | /kəˈlæps/ | Noun | A sudden failure or breakdown | The collapse of the civilization was due to several factors. | |
| Earthquake | /ˈɜrθˌkweɪk/ | Noun | A sudden shaking of the ground caused by the movement of rock underground | The earthquake caused significant damage to the city's infrastructure. | |
| Conquer | /ˈkɒŋkər/ | Verb | /To defeat or take control over a group, territory, or people | / | /The invaders conquered the city and took control over its resources. |
| Destruction | /dɪˈstrʌkʃən/ | /Noun | /The act or process of destroying something | / | /The destruction left by the storm was extensive and costly. |
| Climate Change | /ˈklaɪmət ʧeɪndʒ/ | /Noun | /A long-term change in the Earth's climate, especially a change due to an increase in temperature | / | /Climate change has become a major concern for scientists and governments around the world. |
| Warfare | /ˈwɔrˌfɛr/ | /Noun | /The activity of fighting a war, often including the weapons and methods used | / | /The ancient civilization was skilled in various forms of warfare. |
| Counterargument | /ˈkaʊntərˌɑrgjəmənt/ | /Noun | /An argument or set of reasons put forward to oppose an idea or theory developed in another argument. | / | /The professor presented a strong counterargument to the author's claims. |
| Estimate | /ˈɛstɪmeɪt/ | Verb | To form an approximate judgment or opinion regarding the worth, amount, size, weight, etc., of; calculate approximately | The scientists were able to estimate the age of the artifact using advanced techniques. | |
| Storage | /ˈstɔrɪdʒ/ | Noun | The act of storing; state or fact of being stored | The city had large storage facilities for grain and other supplies. | |
| Distribution | /ˌdɪstrəˈbjuʃən/ | Noun | The act or process of distributing something | The distribution of food supplies was managed by the city's rulers during times of crisis. |
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