TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan,write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response willcontain a minimum of 300 words.

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 3 Organization: 3 Coherence and Cohesion: 3 Language Use: 2

2.预估分数 Estimated Score: 20

3.任务完成度 你的文章基本上回答了问题，但还有一些地方需要改进。首先，尽量确保文章中的单词数量达到300字以上。其次，在论述每个观点时，要确保提供足够的细节和例证来支持你的观点。此外，尝试使用更多的连接词和短语来增强文章的连贯性。

示例1： 原文：The article mentions that Anglo-Saxons left their homelands, the original Celtic population was overwhelmed by the immigration. 改进：The article mentions that a large number of Anglo-Saxons left their homelands, causing the original Celtic population to be overwhelmed by the massive immigration.

示例2： 原文：Celtic population take the English as their own language. 改进：The Celtic population eventually adopted English, which was introduced by the Anglo-Saxons, as their own language.

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构基本清晰，但仍有改进空间。首先，在引言部分简要介绍阅读和听力材料中的主要观点，并指出它们之间存在的分歧。然后，在正文部分中详细讨论每个观点，并确保每段只关注一个具体观点及其支持细节。最后，在结论部分总结文章的主要观点，并简要重申阅读和听力材料之间的分歧。

示例1： 原文：The reading and the lecture are both about who is English people's ancestor. 改进：The reading and the lecture both discuss the ancestry of modern English people, but they present conflicting views on whether they are primarily descended from the Celts or the Anglo-Saxons.

示例2： 原文：The other areas were most controlled by Celtic. 改进：In other areas of England, genetic research has shown a much greater genetic component from the Celtic ancestors, indicating that their influence was more widespread than suggested by the reading.

5. 语法批改

The reading and the lecture are both about who is English people's ancestor. The author of the article argues that England descended mostly from the Anglo-Saxons, the lecturer disputes the claims mentioned in the article. His position is English people are not mostly from the Anglo-Saxons.

According to the reading, the scale of the Anglo-Saxon immigration was massive. The article mentions that Anglo-Saxons left their homelands, the original Celtic population was overwhelmed by the immigration. The Celtic retreat to other parts of Great Britain. This argument is challenged by the lecturer. Additionally, he points out that the population of the Celtic is much larger than immigration from Denmark and Germany. The Anglo-Saxons didn't push them out, so the most remain population was Celtic.

Secondly, the author suggests that the modern English is derived from Anglo-Saxon immigrants, not from the original Celtic inhabitants of England. The lecturer, however, asserts that the new politic group will dominant the area and replace the language. He goes on to say that European abandon their original language when they were controlled by the Roman. Celtic population take the English as their own language.

Finally, the author claims that the DNA of Celtic is similar with Anglo-Saxons who come from Denmark and Germany. He contends that their similarity confirms the theory the modern-day English people are mainly descended from Anglo-Saxons. In contrast, the lecturer argues that the number of population who were tested was small. He says that the villagers live close to the Anglo-Saxons' homeland. Their DNA can't represent the whole Great Britain. The other areas were most controlled by Celtic.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading and the lecture both discuss the ancestry of modern English people, focusing on whether they are primarily descended from the original Celts or the later Anglo-Saxons. The author of the article argues that England's population is mostly descended from the Anglo-Saxons, while the lecturer disputes this claim, asserting that English people are not predominantly of Anglo-Saxon origin.

According to the reading, the scale of Anglo-Saxon immigration was massive, causing the original Celtic population to be overwhelmed and retreat to other parts of Great Britain. The lecturer challenges this argument by pointing out that the Celtic population was much larger than that of immigrants from Denmark and Germany. Consequently, he asserts that it is unlikely that the Anglo-Saxons pushed out the Celts, and therefore, most of England's population remained Celtic.

Secondly, the author suggests that modern English is derived from the language spoken by Anglo-Saxon immigrants rather than from that of the original Celtic inhabitants of England. The lecturer counters this claim by stating that a new politically dominant group often replaces an area's language with their own. He cites how Europeans abandoned their original languages when they were under Roman control as an example. Similarly, he posits that England's majority Celtic population adopted English as their own language.

Lastly, the author claims that a genetic study found similarities between modern-day English people and those who lived in Denmark and Germany where Anglo-Saxons originated. He contends that these similarities confirm his theory about modern-day English people being mainly descended from Anglo-Saxons. In contrast, the lecturer argues that this study does not provide a complete picture since it only tested a small number of individuals living in an area close to where Anglo-Saxons came from. He emphasizes that their DNA cannot represent all of Great Britain and points out subsequent research in other areas has shown a greater genetic influence from Celtic ancestors. (316 words)

Section Title: 7. Article Revision

The reading and the lecture both discuss the ancestry of modern English people, focusing on whether they are both about who is English people's ancestor. primarily descended from the original Celts or the later Anglo-Saxons (clarified focus of discussion). The author of the article argues that England England's population is mostly descended mostly from the Anglo-Saxons, while the lecturer disputes the claims mentioned in the article. His position is this claim, asserting that English people are not mostly from the Anglo-Saxons. predominantly of Anglo-Saxon origin.

According to the reading, the scale of the Anglo-Saxon immigration was massive. The article mentions that Anglo-Saxons left their homelands, massive, causing the original Celtic population was to be overwhelmed by the immigration. The Celtic and retreat to other parts of Great Britain. This Britain (corrected grammar). The lecturer challenges this argument is challenged by the lecturer. Additionally, he points pointing out that the population of the Celtic is Celtic population was much larger than immigration that of immigrants from Denmark and Germany. The Germany (clarified comparison). Consequently, he asserts that it is unlikely that the Anglo-Saxons didn't push them out, so the pushed out the Celts, and therefore, most remain population was of England's population remained Celtic.

Secondly, the author suggests that the modern English is derived from the language spoken by Anglo-Saxon immigrants, not from immigrants rather than from that of the original Celtic inhabitants of England. England (clarified comparison). The lecturer, however, asserts that the lecturer counters this claim by stating that a new politic politically dominant group will dominant the area and replace the language. often replaces an area's language with their own (clarified reasoning). He goes on to say that European abandon cites how Europeans abandoned their original language languages when they were controlled by the Roman. Celtic population take the under Roman control as an example (provided example for clarification). Similarly, he posits that England's majority Celtic population adopted English as their own language.

Finally, Lastly, the author claims that the DNA of Celtic is similar with a genetic study found similarities between modern-day English people and those who lived in Denmark and Germany where Anglo-Saxons who come from Denmark and Germany. originated (clarified origin location). He contends that their similarity confirms the these similarities confirm his theory the about modern-day English people are being mainly descended from Anglo-Saxons. In contrast, the lecturer argues that the this study does not provide a complete picture since it only tested a small number of population who were tested was small. He says that the villagers live individuals living in an area close to the Anglo-Saxons' homeland. Their where Anglo-Saxons came from (clarified limitations of the study). He emphasizes that their DNA can't cannot represent the whole all of Great Britain. The Britain and points out subsequent research in other areas were most controlled by Celtic.has shown a greater genetic influence from Celtic ancestors (introduced additional research findings).

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
    - Ancestry of modern English people
    - Reading: Anglo-Saxon descent
    - Lecture: Celtic descent

- Argument 1: Scale of Anglo-Saxon Immigration
    - Reading: Massive immigration, Celts pushed out
    - Lecture: Larger Celtic population, unlikely displacement

- Argument 2: Language Origins
    - Reading: Modern English from Anglo-Saxons
    - Lecture: Dominant group language replacement, majority Celtic population adopted English

- Argument 3: Genetic Study
    - Reading: Similarities with Denmark and Germany, supports Anglo-Saxon theory
    - Lecture: Incomplete study, small sample size, subsequent research shows greater Celtic influence

9. Keywords