TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Question:Summarize the points made in the lecture,being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of addressing the specific requirements of the task, summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they challenge the points made in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in terms of clarity and language use. To enhance task fulfillment, it would be helpful to:

• Use more precise language when describing the arguments from both the reading and listening passages.

• Ensure that all points are fully explained and supported with evidence from both passages.

Examples:

1. Instead of "researches on the remains' teeth indicate that this person used to eat lots of fish and seafood," consider writing "the analysis of isotopes in the man's teeth revealed a diet rich in fish and seafood."

2. Instead of "there are always a special army protecting him," consider writing "as a member of the royal family, Richard III would have been well protected by his personal guard during battles."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point from either the reading or listening passage. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and transitions between ideas. To enhance organization:

• Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea.

• Use appropriate transition words or phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs as well as between paragraphs.

Examples:

1. For better topic sentences, instead of "Firstly, the reading claims that...," consider writing "The first argument presented by the reading passage is that..."

2. To improve transitions between ideas, instead of starting a sentence with "Still," consider using phrases like "On the other hand," "In contrast," or "However, the lecture counters this point by stating that..."

5. 语法批改

In 2012, the remains of a man were discovered at a former church of England. Three reasons are proposed in the reading, suggesting that it can't belong to Richard III, while all of them are refuted by the lecture, which states that it is still widely believed that it belongs to Richard III. Firstly, the reading claims that the man's hair color is incorrect, as the king's hair is brown according to the portraits, while the man's hair is brown shown by the modern DNA test. However, the lecture does not agree with such statement and claims that DNA test can only reveal a man's hair color in his childhood, and a child's blonde hair often grows darker when turning into an adult, which just fit the Richard III's brown hair shown in his portraits. Secondly, the reading indicates that based on the radiocarbon technique, the remains are thought to from first half of the fifteenth century, which seems to be too old for Richard III. Still, the lecture counteracts such opinion: researches on the remains' teeth indicate that this person used to eat lots of fish and seafood, and these foodthis food('this' vs. 'these') can lower the level of radiocarbon, which leads to the prediction to be unpreciseprecise(misspelling). And the present result of the man's age may be older than what it actually is. Lastly, the reading demonstrates that the remains possess no clear sign of injuries, which is illogical as Richard III had involved in so many dangerous fights. Nevertheless, the lecture argues that it's possible that Richard III never wounded, because as the king, there are always a special army protecting him. What's more, some minor injuries may just don't leave evidence on the bones.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

In 2012, the remains of a man were discovered at a former church in England. The reading passage presents three arguments suggesting that these remains cannot belong to Richard III, while the lecture refutes each point and maintains that it is still widely believed that they do belong to Richard III.

Firstly, the reading claims that the man's hair color is incorrect for Richard III, as his hair is depicted as brown in existing portraits, while DNA evidence from the remains suggests blond hair. However, the lecture counters this by stating that DNA tests can only reveal a person's hair color during childhood, and it is common for a child's blonde hair to darken as they mature into adulthood. This would align with Richard III's brown hair shown in his portraits.

Secondly, the reading asserts that based on radiocarbon dating techniques, the remains are thought to be from the first half of the fifteenth century, which seems too old for Richard III. However, the lecture disputes this by explaining that research on the remains' teeth indicates this individual consumed large amounts of fish and seafood. This diet can lower radiocarbon levels in bones and lead to inaccurate age predictions. Consequently, the actual age of these remains may be younger than initially estimated.

Lastly, the reading contends that there are no clear signs of injuries on the remains, which seems implausible given Richard III's involvement in numerous dangerous battles. In contrast, the lecture argues that it is possible Richard III was never seriously wounded due to his royal status and access to superior armor and protection during battles. Additionally, minor injuries sustained in combat may not have left any discernible marks on his bones. (288 words)

In 2012, the remains of a man were discovered at a former church of in England. Three reasons are proposed in the reading, The reading passage presents three arguments suggesting that it can't these remains cannot belong to Richard III, while all of them are refuted by the lecture, which states the lecture refutes each point and maintains that it is still widely believed that it belongs they do belong to Richard III.

Firstly, the reading claims that the man's hair color is incorrect, incorrect for Richard III, as the king's hair is his hair is depicted as brown according to the in existing portraits, while the man's hair is brown shown DNA evidence from the remains suggests blond hair. However, the lecture counters this by the modern stating that DNA test. However, the lecture does not agree with such statement and claims that DNA test tests can only reveal a man's person's hair color in his childhood, and during childhood (explaining why the DNA test showed blond hair), and it is common for a child's blonde hair often grows darker when turning to darken as they mature into an adult, which just fit the adulthood (providing a reason for Richard III's brown hair shown in his portraits. portraits).

Secondly, the reading indicates asserts that based on the radiocarbon technique, dating techniques, the remains are thought to be from the first half of the fifteenth century, which seems to be too old for Richard III. Still, However, the lecture counteracts such opinion: researches disputes this by explaining that research on the remains' teeth indicate that indicates this person used to eat lots individual consumed large amounts of fish and seafood, and these food seafood (providing evidence of diet). This diet can lower the level of radiocarbon, which leads to the prediction to be unprecise. And the present result of the man's radiocarbon levels in bones and lead to inaccurate age predictions (explaining why radiocarbon dating may be older imprecise). Consequently, the actual age of these remains may be younger than what it actually is. initially estimated (suggesting they could still belong to Richard III).

Lastly, the reading demonstrates that the remains possess contends that there are no clear sign of injuries, signs of injuries on the remains, which is illogical as Richard III had involved in so many seems implausible given Richard III's involvement in numerous dangerous fights. Nevertheless, battles. In contrast, the lecture argues that it's it is possible that Richard III was never wounded, because as the king, there are always a special army protecting him. What's more, some seriously wounded due to his royal status and access to superior armor and protection during battles (providing an explanation for lack of injuries). Additionally, minor injuries sustained in combat may just don't leave not have left any discernible marks on his bones (explaining why there may be no visible evidence on the bones.of injuries).

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8. Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Remains discovered in England
   • Reading vs. Lecture arguments

2. Hair Color

   • Reading: Brown hair in portraits, DNA suggests blond
   • Lecture: DNA reveals childhood hair color, common for hair to darken with age

3. Radiocarbon Dating

   • Reading: Remains from first half of 15th century, too old for Richard III
   • Lecture: Diet affects radiocarbon levels, teeth show high fish consumption, actual age may be younger

4. Injuries and Battle Scars

   • Reading: No clear signs of injuries on remains, implausible for Richard III's battle history
   • Lecture: Royal status provided superior armor and protection, minor injuries may not leave marks on bones

9. Key Words

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