TOEFL Writing Task 1 Sample: Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they reply to each of the three explanations presented in the reading passage.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度：4

• 文章结构与组织：4

• 连贯性与衔接：4

• 语言运用：3

2.预估分数

• 25

3.任务完成度 你的文章基本上完成了任务要求，但在论述某些观点时，可以更具体一些。例如，在反驳阅读材料中提到的遗传研究时，可以详细说明为什么这个研究不能代表整个英格兰的情况。

改进示例：

1. 原文："The lecturer contracts the claims by emphasizing that the analysis does not present the DNA of the entire England for only involving the DNA of small eastern England areas which is so close to the Anglo-Saxon homelands." 改进后："The lecturer refutes the claims by emphasizing that the genetic study's limited scope, focusing only on a small area in eastern England, cannot represent the entire population of England, especially considering its proximity to the Anglo-Saxon homelands."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面表现较好，但在某些段落中，可以更明确地使用过渡词汇来引导读者。此外，在总结段落时，尝试使用不同的表达方式来呈现前面已经讨论过的观点。

改进示例：

1. 原文："Firstly, the reading passage suggests... Nevertheless, the lecturer questions..." 改进后："Firstly, the reading passage suggests... However, the lecturer challenges this view by..."

2. 原文："In conclusion," 改进后："In summary,"

5. 语法批改

The reading passage raises several arguments to prove the theory that modern people of England originated (Two consecutive spaces)from Anglos-SaxonsAnglo-Saxons(misspelling) who are immigrants from Denmark and Germany. However, the lectruerlecturer(misspelling) cast doubt on these arguments by pointing out their weaknesses. Firstly, the reading passage suggests that the massive quantity of Anglo-Saxon immigration startled the original Celts, causing Celts left to other parts of Great Britain. Nevertheless, the lecturer questions the accuracy of the sources by mentioning their ignorance of the large population of Celts which outnumbered the population of the arriving Anglo-Saxon. Therefore, It is unlikely for Anglo-Saxons to acheiveachieve(misspelling) population dominance and crowed out the Celts. Secondly, the reading passage proposes that the provenance of modern English comes from Anglo-Saxon immigrants instead of the Celtic Native. Nonetheless, the lecturer counter this point by suggesting the situation often happens when an area adotpsadopts(misspelling) the language of the group who governs them politically. For example, the South European, dominated by the Roman, relinquished their language and adpotedadopted(misspelling) the language of Roman. In conclusion, Lastly, according to a genetic analysis mentioned in the reading passage, the DNA of the inhabitants in eastern England was almost identical to the DNA of people living in the origin land of Anglo-Saxons. The lecturer contracts the claims by emphasizing that the analysis does not present the DNA of the entire England for only involving the DNA of small eastern England areas which is so close to the Anglo-Saxon homelands. Genetic research in other areas of England has shown a much greater genetic component formfrom(Detects potentially wrong usage of "form") the Celtic ancestors.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading passage raises several arguments to prove the theory that modern people of England originated from Anglos-Saxons who are immigrants from Denmark and Germany. However, the lecturer casts doubt on these arguments by pointing out their weaknesses.

Firstly, the reading passage suggests that the massive quantity of Anglo-Saxon immigration startled the original Celts, causing them to leave for other parts of Great Britain. Nevertheless, the lecturer questions the accuracy of the sources by mentioning their ignorance of the large population of Celts which outnumbered the population of arriving Anglo-Saxons. Therefore, it is unlikely for Anglo-Saxons to achieve population dominance and crowd out the Celts.

Secondly, the reading passage proposes that the provenance of modern English comes from Anglo-Saxon immigrants instead of Celtic natives. Nonetheless, the lecturer counters this point by suggesting that such a situation often happens when an area adopts the language of a politically dominant group. For example, Southern Europeans, dominated by Romans, relinquished their language and adopted Latin. Thus, it is possible that Celts adopted Anglo-Saxon language without being replaced in terms of population.

Lastly, according to a genetic analysis mentioned in the reading passage, the DNA of inhabitants in eastern England was almost identical to that of people living in areas where Anglo-Saxons originated. The lecturer contradicts these claims by emphasizing that this analysis does not present a complete picture as it only involves DNA samples from small eastern England areas which are geographically close to Anglo-Saxon homelands. Genetic research in other areas of England has shown a much greater genetic component from Celtic ancestors. (263 words)

The reading passage raises several arguments to prove the theory that modern people of England originated originated from Anglos-Saxons who are immigrants from Denmark and Germany. Germany (Changed "Anglos-Saxons" to "Anglo-Saxons" for correct spelling). However, the lectruer cast lecturer casts doubt on these arguments by pointing out their weaknesses. weaknesses (Changed "lectruer" to "lecturer" for correct spelling).

Firstly, the reading passage suggests that the massive quantity of Anglo-Saxon immigration startled the original Celts, causing Celts left to them to leave for other parts of Great Britain. Britain (Changed "Celts left" to "them to leave" for better clarity). Nevertheless, the lecturer questions the accuracy of the sources by mentioning their ignorance of the large population of Celts which outnumbered the population of the arriving Anglo-Saxon. Anglo-Saxons. Therefore, It it is unlikely for Anglo-Saxons to acheive achieve population dominance and crowed crowd out the Celts. Celts (Changed "acheive" to "achieve" and "crowed out" to "crowd out" for correct spelling).

Secondly, the reading passage proposes that the provenance of modern English comes from Anglo-Saxon immigrants instead of the Celtic Native. ¶ natives (Changed "Celtic Native" to "Celtic natives" for consistency in plural form). Nonetheless, the lecturer counter counters this point by suggesting the that such a situation often happens when an area adotps adopts the language of the a politically dominant group who governs them politically. (Changed "adotps" to "adopts"). For example, the South European, Southern Europeans, dominated by the Roman, Romans, relinquished their language and adpoted the adopted Latin (Changed "South European" to "Southern Europeans", and changed both instances of Roman language of Roman. In conclusion, references from lower case 'r' in 'roman' to upper case 'R'). Thus, it is possible that Celts adopted Anglo-Saxon language without being replaced in terms of population.

Lastly, according to a genetic analysis mentioned in the reading passage, the DNA of the inhabitants in eastern England was almost identical to the DNA that of people living in areas where Anglo-Saxons originated (Changed "the DNA of people living in the origin land of Anglo-Saxons. Anglo-Saxons" to "that of people living in areas where Anglo-Saxons originated" for better clarity). The lecturer contracts the contradicts these claims by emphasizing that the this analysis does not present the a complete picture as it only involves DNA of the entire England for only involving the DNA of samples from small eastern England areas which is so are geographically close to the Anglo-Saxon homelands. homelands (Changed "contracts" to "contradicts", and changed "for only involving" to "as it only involves"). Genetic research in other areas of England has shown a much greater genetic component form the from Celtic ancestors.ancestors (Changed "form" to "from").

8. Mind Map

9. Keywords