TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: For this task, you will read a passage about an academic topic. Then you will listen to a lecture about the same topic.

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：4 连贯与衔接：4 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，你的文章回答了题目要求，对阅读和听力材料进行了较好的总结。但在某些地方，你可以更具体地解释听力中提到的观点以及它们如何反驳阅读材料。此外，在引用听力中的例子时，尽量避免使用过于简化的表达。

示例1： 原文：“However, the speaker in the listening material does not agree, as some people lack access to computers, and some people are even scared of it.” 改进：“However, the speaker in the listening material argues that computerized voting may be difficult for those who lack access to computers or are not familiar with technology, which could lead to them casting incorrect votes or being discouraged from voting altogether.”

示例2： 原文：“Once the program goes wrong, a larger number of votes might be counted incorrectly, which demands even more effort to recount the votes.” 改进：“The lecturer points out that errors in computer programs can result in thousands of votes being miscounted or even permanently removed from the record, making it much more difficult and time-consuming to correct these mistakes compared to human counting errors.”

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构清晰，包括引言、主体和结论。每段都集中讨论了一个特定的观点，并提供了支持细节。然而，在段落之间的过渡可以更加自然，以便使文章更连贯。

建议1： 在段落之间使用过渡性词语或短语，如“此外”、“然而”、“相反”，以帮助引导读者从一个观点到另一个观点。

示例1： 原文：“The second theory that computerized system can exclude human error during the process of counting up the votes is also rejected by the lecturer.” 改进：“Furthermore, the lecturer also challenges the idea that computerized systems can eliminate human error during the vote-counting process.”

建议2： 确保每段的主题句清晰地表达了该段的主要观点，并与前一段的内容相互衔接。

示例2： 原文：“Finally, the author holds that since other accurate processes such as banking transactions are completed by computer, so can the voting.” 改进：“Lastly, while the author argues that computer technology is trusted for other complex tasks like banking transactions, the lecturer counters this point by emphasizing a key difference between these systems and voting.”

5. 语法批改

The reading and the listening both talk about the voting machine. The writer thinks that computerized voting systems can take the place of traditional voting systems, while the lecturer provides several counterarguments. To begin with, the reading passage holds the opinion that computerized voting machine is able to avoid the accidentialaccidental(misspelling) mistakes of voters because of the convenient touch-screen and the function to magnify names of candidates. However, the speaker in the listening material does not agree, as some people lack access to computers, and some people are even scared of it. If the voters do not know how to use a computer, it will be difficult for them to finish the voting process through this system. The second theory that computerizeda computerized(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) system can exclude human error during the process of counting up the votes is also rejected by the lectuererlecturer(misspelling). Since computers are programmed by human beings, errors are inevitable in the computer system. Once the program goes wrong, a larger number of votes might be counted incorrectly, which demands even more effort to recount the votes. Finally, the author holds that since other accurate process such as banking transactions are completed by computer, so can the voting. Yet, the lecturer does not think so. People trust computers to conduct such processes because the compurerizedcomputerized(misspelling) banking system is being used daily and frequently and has been stable enough. However, the voting does not happen as often as banking, thus the computerized voting system has not been proved to be totally reliable. All in all, not everyone can use a computer properly, computer cause mistakes as well and computerized voting system is not reliable enough are the main reasons why computerized voting system cannot replace the traditional voting system according to the lecture.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading and the listening both discuss the topic of voting machines. The author of the reading passage believes that computerized voting systems can replace traditional voting methods, while the lecturer provides several counterarguments.

Firstly, the reading passage contends that computerized voting machines can prevent accidental mistakes by voters due to their convenient touch-screen technology and the ability to magnify candidate names. However, the speaker in the listening material disagrees, pointing out that some individuals lack access to computers or are apprehensive about using them. If voters are unfamiliar with computers, they may struggle to complete the voting process using this system.

Secondly, the author argues that a computerized system can eliminate human error during vote counting. The lecturer refutes this claim, stating that since computers are programmed by humans, errors are still possible within these systems. If a program malfunctions, a significant number of votes might be counted incorrectly, necessitating even more effort for a recount.

Lastly, the author maintains that if computers can accurately handle processes such as banking transactions, they should also be capable of managing voting procedures. However, the lecturer disputes this assertion. People trust computers for tasks like banking because these systems are used daily and have proven their stability over time. In contrast, voting occurs far less frequently – only once every two years nationally in the United States and slightly more often in local areas – meaning that computerized voting systems have not yet demonstrated their reliability.

In summary, according to the lecture, there are three main reasons why computerized voting systems cannot replace traditional methods: not everyone is proficient with computers; errors can still occur within computer systems; and computerized voting has not yet proven its reliability compared to other established technologies. (293 words)

The reading and the listening both talk about the voting machine. discuss the topic of voting machines. The writer thinks author of the reading passage believes that computerized voting systems can take the place of replace traditional voting systems, methods, while the lecturer provides several counterarguments. counterarguments (Changed "the writer thinks" to "the author believes" for a more formal tone).

To begin with, Firstly, the reading passage holds the opinion that computerized voting machine is able to avoid the accidential contends that computerized voting machines can prevent accidental mistakes of by voters because of the due to their convenient touch-screen and the function technology and the ability to magnify names of candidates. candidate names. However, the speaker in the listening material does not agree, as disagrees (Replaced "does not agree" with "disagrees" for a more concise expression), pointing out that some people individuals lack access to computers or are apprehensive about using them. If voters are unfamiliar with computers, and some people are even scared of it. If the voters do not know how to use a computer, it will be difficult for them to finish they may struggle to complete the voting process through using this system.

The second theory that Secondly, the author argues that a computerized system can exclude eliminate human error during the process of counting up the votes is also rejected vote counting. The lecturer refutes this claim (Changed "rejected by the lectuerer. Since lecturer" to "refutes this claim" for a more concise expression), stating that since computers are programmed by human beings, humans, errors are inevitable in the computer system. ¶ Once the still possible within these systems. If a program goes wrong, a larger malfunctions, a significant number of votes might be counted incorrectly, which demands necessitating even more effort to recount the votes. for a recount.

Finally, Lastly, the author holds that since other accurate process maintains that if computers can accurately handle processes such as banking transactions are completed by computer, so can the voting. Yet, transactions, they should also be capable of managing voting procedures. However, the lecturer does disputes this assertion (Changed "does not think so. so" to "disputes this assertion" for a more formal tone). People trust computers to conduct such processes for tasks like banking because the compurerized banking system is being these systems are used daily and have proven their stability over time. In contrast, voting occurs far less frequently and has been stable enough. However, the voting does not happen as – only once every two years nationally in the United States and slightly more often as banking, thus the computerized voting system has not been proved to be totally reliable. in local areas – meaning that computerized voting systems have not yet demonstrated their reliability.

All In summary, according to the lecture (Changed "All in all, not everyone can use a computer properly, computer cause mistakes as well and computerized voting system is not reliable enough are the all" to "In summary"), there are three main reasons why computerized voting system systems cannot replace the traditional voting system according to the lecture.methods: not everyone is proficient with computers; errors can still occur within computer systems; and computerized voting has not yet proven its reliability compared to other established technologies.

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
  - Reading vs. Listening
  - Topic: Voting Machines

- Point 1: Preventing Accidental Mistakes
  - Reading: Touch-screen technology, magnify candidate names
  - Listening: Some individuals lack access or are apprehensive about using computers

- Point 2: Eliminating Human Error in Vote Counting
  - Reading: Computerized system eliminates human error
  - Listening: Computers are programmed by humans, errors still possible

- Point 3: Comparing to Banking Transactions
  - Reading: Computers can handle banking transactions, should manage voting procedures
  - Listening: Voting occurs less frequently, not yet proven reliability

- Conclusion
  - Lecture's Counterarguments:
    - Not everyone proficient with computers
    - Errors can still occur within computer systems
    - Computerized voting not yet proven reliable compared to other technologies

9. Keywords