TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Explain how the lecturer is disagree with each theories provided in the reading.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of addressing the specific requirements of the task by explaining how the lecturer disagrees with each theory provided in the reading. However, there is room for improvement in terms of providing more detailed explanations and supporting evidence from the listening passage. To enhance task fulfillment, try to:

• Include more specific examples from the listening passage to support your points.

• Ensure that you fully explain each point of disagreement between the lecturer and the reading.

Examples in English:

1. Instead of just mentioning that the Rapa Nui were skilled farmers, provide specific examples from the listening passage about their farming techniques or tools they used.

2. When discussing how rats could not have caused the demise of Rapa Nui civilization, include information from the listening passage about why this theory is unlikely, such as a lack of evidence or alternative explanations for rat population growth.

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each theory, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and transitions between ideas. To improve your essay's organization:

• Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to indicate what point will be discussed.

• Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs to create a smoother flow.

Examples in English:

1. For your first body paragraph's topic sentence, try something like "The lecturer disagrees with the reading's claim that deforestation caused by Moai transportation led to Rapa Nui's extinction."

2. When transitioning between paragraphs discussing different theories, use phrases like "In contrast" or "On the other hand" to signal a shift in focus. For example: "In contrast to the deforestation theory, the reading also suggests that rats could have caused Rapa Nui's extinction. However, the lecturer disputes this idea as well."

5. Grammar

The reading states that the an eastern island, called Rapa Nui,whichNui, which is the most restriced islandremote island, carries so many sercretssecrets that have yet to be solved. It also famous for theirits 887 stonesstone statues called Moai. One of them isthe theories about the extinction Rapa Nui civilization. the author presents threecivilization is presented in the reading. However, the lecturer disagrees with each of these theories to explain the cause of the disappearance of the civilization, but the lecturer is disagree which each of these theories sincersince there are not enough reasons to prove them. First of all, the author claims that the natives could have caused their own extinction through deforestation. He believed that the residents of Rapa Nui did this to make some space to bring the Moai statues. HoweverHowever, the lecturer mentioned that these inhabitants were so skilled in farming and they definitely were aware of the negative effects of cutting down the trees and deforestation on farmlands. Furthermore, he argues there were many resources in the ocean even without farmland. He saysocean, and the inhabitants would have still findfound food from the ocean to avoid starvation. Second, the reading states rats that once lived on the island were caused the fall of Rapa Nui's civilization. HoweverHowever, the lecturer says there is no way rats could have brought this demise to the civilization since the number of rats living on the island have merely disrupted the lives of the natives. Finally, the reading claims that the Rapa Nui's extinction was caused by the Europeans upon capturing of the inhabitants of island and transferring them to Peru. When these slaves came back from Peru to the islandisland, they brought different diseases to Rapa Nui which killed the residents.But,residents. However, the lecturer says these people were slaves and none of them returned to the island to spread the disease. That's how the lecturer castcasts doubts on each theoriestheory provided onin the reading.

6. Revised Essay

The reading states that Easter Island, also known as Rapa Nui, which is the most isolated inhabited island in the world, holds numerous unsolved mysteries. One of these mysteries is the extinction of the Rapa Nui civilization. The author presents three theories to explain the cause of this disappearance; however, the lecturer disagrees with each of these theories since there are not enough reasons to prove them.

Firstly, the author claims that the natives could have caused their own extinction through deforestation, believing that they cut down trees to make space for transporting Moai statues. However, the lecturer mentions that these inhabitants were skilled farmers and would have been aware of the negative effects of deforestation on farmlands. Furthermore, he argues that even without farmland, there were abundant resources in the ocean. He says that inhabitants would have still found food from the ocean to avoid starvation.

Secondly, the reading states that rats living on the island could have caused the fall of Rapa Nui's civilization. However, the lecturer asserts there is no way rats could have brought about this demise since their population merely disrupted native life but did not lead to complete destruction.

Lastly, according to the reading, Rapa Nui's extinction was caused by Europeans capturing island inhabitants and transferring them to Peru. When these slaves returned from Peru to their homeland, they brought various diseases which killed residents. Contrarily, the lecturer explains that these people were slaves and none of them returned to spread diseases on their island.

In this manner, the lecturer casts doubt on each theory provided in the reading regarding Rapa Nui's mysterious disappearance. (273 words)

The reading states that the an eastern island, called Rapa Nui,which Easter Island, also known as Rapa Nui, which is the most restriced isolated inhabited island carries so many sercrets that have yet to be solved. It also famous in the world, holds numerous unsolved mysteries (changed "restriced" to "isolated" and "sercrets" to "mysteries" for their 887 stones called Moai. clarity and correct spelling). One of them these mysteries is the extinction of the Rapa Nui civilization. the The author presents three theories to explain the cause of the disappearance of the civilization, but the lecturer is disagree which this disappearance; however, the lecturer disagrees with each of these theories sincer since there are not enough reasons to prove them. them (corrected grammar and sentence structure).

First of all, Firstly, the author claims that the natives could have caused their own extinction through deforestation. He believed that the residents of Rapa Nui did this deforestation, believing that they cut down trees to make some space to bring the for transporting Moai statues. However the lecturer mentioned statues (corrected grammar and sentence structure). However, the lecturer mentions that these inhabitants were so skilled in farming and they definitely were farmers and would have been aware of the negative effects of cutting down the trees and deforestation on farmlands. farmlands (improved sentence flow). Furthermore, he argues that even without farmland, there were many abundant resources in the ocean even without farmland. ocean. He says the that inhabitants would have still find found food from the ocean to avoid starvation. starvation (corrected grammar).

Second, Secondly, the reading states that rats that once lived living on the island were could have caused the fall of Rapa Nui's civilization. However the lecturer says However, the lecturer asserts there is no way rats could have brought about this demise to the civilization since the number of rats living on the island have their population merely disrupted the lives of the natives. native life but did not lead to complete destruction (improved sentence flow and clarity).

Finally, the reading claims that the Lastly, according to the reading, Rapa Nui's extinction was caused by the Europeans upon capturing of the island inhabitants of island and transferring them to Peru. When these slaves came back returned from Peru to the island their homeland, they brought different various diseases to Rapa Nui which killed the residents.But, the lecturer says residents (corrected grammar). Contrarily, the lecturer explains that these people were slaves and none of them returned to the spread diseases on their island to spread the disease. (improved sentence flow).

That's how the lecturer cast doubts In this manner, the lecturer casts doubt on each theories theory provided on the reading.in the reading regarding Rapa Nui's mysterious disappearance (corrected grammar and sentence structure).

8. Mind Map

Easter Island (Rapa Nui)
├── Theory 1: Deforestation
│   ├── Reading: Natives cut down trees for Moai statues
│   └── Lecture: Skilled farmers, ocean resources
├── Theory 2: Rat Invasion
│   ├── Reading: Rats caused the fall of civilization
│   └── Lecture: Rats disrupted life but not complete destruction
└── Theory 3: European Influence
    ├── Reading: Europeans captured inhabitants, brought diseases
    └── Lecture: Slaves did not return to spread diseases

9. Key Words