TOEFL Speaking Task 4 Sample: Using the examples of the musk ox and the arctic tern,explain two ways animals cooperate to protect themselves.

1.子项得分

• 交付：3

• 语言使用：3

• 话题发展：3

2.预估分数

• 总分：23

3.表达 从交付方面来看，发言者的语言流畅度和语速基本一致，偶尔出现停顿。为了提高表达能力，建议发言者注意在适当的地方停顿，以便更清晰地表达观点。此外，注意准确发音以避免拼写错误。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，发言者提供了一个连贯且组织良好的回答，并在回答中使用了麝牛和北极燕鸥的例子来解释动物如何合作保护自己。然而，为了更好地支持观点，可以考虑提供更详细的例子和解释。例如，在描述麝牛保护幼崽的方式时，可以详细说明麝牛如何调整阵型以保持防御圈的完整性。在描述北极燕鸥驱赶掠食者的方式时，可以强调整个群体共同行动的重要性。通过提供更多细节和解释，可以使回答更加充实和有说服力。

5.语言使用

原文：There are two ways that animals will try to cooperate with each other to protect themselves. The first way is to encircle the young in the group. Take the oscar as an example. When oscar find out that there are wolves trying to get their kids, they'll gather a circle and make the young oxen inside. And once any of the wolves try to approach the young, one or two oxen will go out and try to drive them off and the other oxen will come here and compensate their location. Obviously any one of the oxen could not complete this mission all by themselves. The other way is called mauling. This is always completed by birds that are aggressive because they will try to attack the predators like fox and scream them to drive them away.

修正后：There are two ways in which animals cooperate with each other for protection. The first method involves encircling their young within the group. Take the musk ox as an example. When musk oxen detect wolves attempting to prey on their calves, they form a circle with the young oxen inside. If any wolf tries to approach, one or two adult oxen will charge at it, attempting to drive it away while other oxen fill in the gap left behind, maintaining a secure defensive ring. Evidently, a single musk ox could not accomplish this task alone. The second method is called mobbing, typically employed by aggressive birds such as arctic terns who attack predators like foxes and emit loud cries to drive them away. (原文中的“oscar”应为“musk ox”，“mauling”应为“mobbing”。)

解释：将“oscar”改为musk ox（原文中的“oscar”应为“麝牛”），将“mauling”改为mobbing（原文中的“mauling”应为“围攻”）。

修订版（140字）：

There are two ways in which animals cooperate for protection. First, they encircle their young, as seen in musk oxen. When threatened by wolves, they form a circle with calves inside. If a wolf approaches, adult oxen charge at it while others fill the gap, maintaining a secure defensive ring. A single musk ox couldn't achieve this alone. The second method is mobbing, employed by aggressive birds like arctic terns who attack predators such as foxes and emit loud cries to drive them away.

6.思维导图

• Cooperation
  • Encircling young
    • Musk oxen
      • Form circle
      • Charge at predators
      • Maintain defensive ring
  • Mobbing
    • Aggressive birds
      • Arctic terns
        • Attack predators
        • Emit loud cries

7.关键词