TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Would you say that children should be given standardized tests?

1. Sub Scores:

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 3.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.0 Language Use and Grammar: 2.5

2. Estimated Scores:

Estimated Score: 20

3. Task completeness:

The essay does address the topic of standardized testing, but it could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer elaboration of the viewpoint. The essay also needs to better engage with the discussion provided in the reading passage, as it only briefly mentions Enrique's and Helena's opinions without fully analyzing or responding to their arguments.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide specific examples or evidence to support your viewpoint.

• Engage more deeply with the arguments presented by Enrique and Helena.

• Ensure that your response directly addresses the question asked.

Examples:

1. "One study found that students who performed poorly on standardized tests were more likely to experience anxiety and low self-esteem, which can negatively impact their overall academic performance."

2. "In response to Helena's argument about evaluating thousands of students, alternative assessment methods such as project-based learning or individualized assessments could be implemented to better accommodate diverse learning styles."

4. Essay structure and organization:

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion; however, it lacks clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs. The organization could be improved by focusing each paragraph on a specific point related to standardized testing.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

• Focus each paragraph on a specific point related to standardized testing.

• Ensure that your introduction effectively introduces your viewpoint, while your conclusion summarizes your main points.

Examples:

1. "To begin with, standardized tests often place undue stress on students due to their high-stakes nature."

2. "In conclusion, while standardized tests may provide some benefits in terms of large-scale evaluation, their negative impact on student well-being and lack of accommodation for diverse learning styles ultimately make them an unsuitable method of assessment."

5. Grammar

The topic of the standarizedstandardized(misspelling) testing has recently generated much discussion in today's - society. lL(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) understand why Helena thinks that standardized tests are required for evaluating level; however, in my opinion, l agree with Enrique's statement that students should not be given standardized tests since it makes students feel stressful. Today people are living in a relatively competitive world, when applying for university, some schools not only view students' finnalfinal(misspelling) test for high school, they also need high scores of daily exams. Although these tests are executed for the purpose of accommodating students at fistfirst(Detects potentially wrong usage of "fist" instead of "first"), it is easily to become the standard of attending universities. This will stress them out, causing some mental problems like depression. Instead of this, the school should focus on viewing what acitivitiesactivities(misspelling) students took part in and how were their behavior in daily school life.

Display title: 6 Revised Essay

While I understand Helena's perspective that standardized tests are necessary for evaluating a large number of students, I concur with Enrique's assertion that such tests should not be administered to students. The primary reason for my stance is the undue stress these tests impose on young learners. In our increasingly competitive world, academic institutions often assess applicants based on their performance in standardized tests, in addition to their high school grades. Although initially intended to gauge a student's aptitude, these exams have inadvertently become a crucial criterion for college admissions, thereby exerting immense pressure on students and potentially leading to mental health issues such as depression. Rather than relying solely on test scores, educational institutions should adopt a more holistic approach by considering students' extracurricular activities and overall conduct in their daily school life. (139 words)

Revised essay: Display title: 7 Essay Grading

The topic of the standarized standardized testing (corrected spelling) has recently generated much discussion in today's - society. l society (added a space). While I understand why Helena thinks that standardized tests are required for evaluating level; students' levels (clarified meaning); however, in my opinion, l I agree with Enrique's statement (consistent pronoun usage) that students should not be given standardized tests since it makes students them feel stressful. Today stressed (changed "stressful" to "stressed"). Today, people are living in a relatively competitive world, world (added comma for clarity); when applying for university, some schools not only view students' finnal final test scores for high school, school (corrected spelling), but they also need require high scores of on daily exams. Although these tests are executed for the purpose of accommodating students at fist, it is first (rephrased for clarity), they can easily to become the standard of for attending universities. This will stress them out, causing some mental problems like depression. Instead of this, the school schools should focus on viewing evaluating what acitivities activities students took part in and how were their behavior was in daily school life.life (rephrased for clarity and consistency).

8 Mind Map

1. Standardized tests

   • Pros
   • Cons

2. Helena's perspective

   • Necessity for evaluation

3. Enrique's assertion

   • Against standardized tests

4. Undue stress on students

   • Competitive world
   • College admissions criteria

5. Mental health issues

   • Depression

6. Holistic approach to evaluation

   • Extracurricular activities
   • Overall conduct

9 Key Words

6 Revised Essay

While I understand Helena's perspective that standardized tests are necessary for evaluating a large number of students, I concur with Enrique's assertion that such tests should not be administered to students. The primary reason for my stance is the undue stress these tests impose on young learners. In our increasingly competitive world, academic institutions often assess applicants based on their performance in standardized tests, in addition to their high school grades. Although initially intended to gauge a student's aptitude, these exams have inadvertently become a crucial criterion for college admissions, thereby exerting immense pressure on students and potentially leading to mental health issues such as depression. Rather than relying solely on test scores, educational institutions should adopt a more holistic approach by considering students' extracurricular activities and overall conduct in their daily school life.