TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: whether online information is more reliable than suggestions from friends and families when making purchasing decisions

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

• 27

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得相当不错，但仍有一些可以改进的地方。首先，文章的开头部分可以更具针对性地回答问题，而不是简单地提及争议。其次，在论述观点时，可以加入更多具体的例子和数据来支持观点。最后，结论部分较简短，可以进一步总结文章的主要观点，并指出为什么在线信息比朋友和家人的建议更可靠。

改进示例1（英文）： Instead of "The controversial issue over whether online information is more reliable than suggestions from friends and families when making purchasing decisions ignites a soaring debate.", you can write "In the modern era of technology, people often face the dilemma of choosing between online information and suggestions from friends and family when making purchasing decisions."

改进示例2（英文）： In the conclusion, instead of just stating that online sources play a role in helping people make the right choice, you can write "In conclusion, due to the vast amount of diverse information available online, as well as the ability to compare different brands and read professional evaluations, online sources prove to be more reliable than suggestions from friends and family when making purchasing decisions."

4. 文章结构与组织

从组织结构的角度来看，这篇文章整体上表现良好。然而，有一些方面仍可改进。首先，文章的开头部分可以更清晰地陈述论文的主题和观点。其次，在正文部分，每个段落都应该有一个明确的主题句来引导读者理解段落的中心思想。最后，结论部分可以更全面地总结文章的观点，并强调在线信息在购物决策中的重要性。

改进示例1（英文）： For a clearer introduction, you can write "This essay will argue that online information is more reliable than suggestions from friends and family when making purchasing decisions due to the diverse and unbiased nature of online sources."

改进示例2（英文）： To improve the body paragraphs, make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence. For example, "One significant advantage of online information is the diversity of opinions and experiences available to potential buyers."

5. 语法批改

The controversial issue over whether online information is more reliable than suggestions from friends and families when making purchasing decisions ignites a soaring debate. From where I stand, I firmly deem that user experiences and evaluations posted online are anything but worthless.

Having access to online sources of product recommendations empowers individual to attain a diversity of information, which renders them to make the optimal choice unquestionably. For one thing, with the prevalence of social media, more customers tend to post their user experiences online to share with netizens sincerely, providing internet surfers with authentic, detailed and vivid descriptions and videos of their purchased products. In this way, the strengths and weaknesses of a single product are easily to be learned by potential buyers, which allows them to make the most rational and proper purchasing decision. In addition, different brands of a certain product can also be compared by reading different posts online. There is no denying that in order to attract more online visitors, some social media influencers are prone to buy several brands for selecting the most cost-effective one to recommend to their followers. In this situation, not only will customers acquire professional evaluations of different brands, but also they are able to buy a product that is outperforming the market.

To conclude, when making a purchasing decision, it is online sources that play a role in helping people make the right and regretless choice.

Title: 6 文章修订

The debate surrounding the reliability of online information versus suggestions from friends and family when making purchasing decisions has gained significant attention. In my opinion, user experiences and evaluations shared online hold considerable value and should not be dismissed.

Access to online sources for product recommendations enables individuals to gather diverse information, ultimately guiding them towards the best possible choice. The widespread use of social media has led to an increase in customers sharing their experiences online, offering genuine, detailed, and vivid descriptions, as well as videos of their purchased products. This allows potential buyers to easily learn about the strengths and weaknesses of a particular product, facilitating rational and informed purchasing decisions. Furthermore, by reading various posts online, individuals can compare different brands of a specific product. It is worth noting that some social media influencers purchase multiple brands with the intent of recommending the most cost-effective option to their followers. In such cases, customers not only receive professional evaluations but also have the opportunity to purchase a product that outperforms its competitors.

In conclusion, when faced with a purchasing decision, it is the wealth of information available through online sources that plays a crucial role in helping people make informed choices without regret. (208 words)

Title: 7 文章批改

The controversial issue over whether debate surrounding the reliability of online information is more reliable than versus suggestions from friends and families family when making purchasing decisions ignites a soaring debate. From where I stand, I firmly deem that has gained significant attention (revised for clarity and conciseness). In my opinion, user experiences and evaluations posted online are anything but worthless. shared online hold considerable value and should not be dismissed (revised for natural tone).

Having access Access to online sources of for product recommendations empowers individual to attain a diversity of enables individuals to gather diverse information, which renders ultimately guiding them to make the optimal towards the best possible choice unquestionably. For one thing, with the prevalence (revised for clarity). The widespread use of social media, more media has led to an increase in customers tend to post sharing their user experiences online to share with netizens sincerely, providing internet surfers with authentic, detailed online, offering genuine, detailed, and vivid descriptions and descriptions, as well as videos of their purchased products. In this way, products (revised for natural tone). This allows potential buyers to easily learn about the strengths and weaknesses of a single product are easily to be learned particular product, facilitating rational and informed purchasing decisions (revised for clarity). Furthermore, by potential buyers, which allows them to make the most rational and proper purchasing decision. In addition, reading various posts online, individuals can compare different brands of a certain specific product can also be compared by reading different posts online. There (revised for natural tone). It is no denying worth noting that in order to attract more online visitors, some social media influencers are prone to buy several purchase multiple brands for selecting with the intent of recommending the most cost-effective one to recommend option to their followers. followers (revised for clarity). In this situation, such cases, customers not only will customers acquire receive professional evaluations of different brands, but also they are able to buy have the opportunity to purchase a product that is outperforming the market. outperforms its competitors (revised for natural tone).

To conclude, In conclusion, when making faced with a purchasing decision, it is the wealth of information available through online sources that play a plays a crucial role in helping people make the right and regretless choice.informed choices without regret (revised for clarity and conciseness).

8 思维导图

- Online Information vs. Friends & Family Suggestions
  - Diverse Information
    - Best possible choice
  - Social Media
    - Increase in customer experiences shared online
    - Genuine, detailed, and vivid descriptions
    - Videos of purchased products
  - Strengths and Weaknesses
    - Facilitating rational and informed decisions
  - Comparing Brands
    - Professional evaluations from influencers
    - Cost-effective options recommended
  - Conclusion: Crucial role of online information in decision-making process

9 关键词