TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: We are discussing recent trends in consumer behavior. One trend is a decrease in the use of cash money. Consumers don't use physical money to pay for things as much as they used to. Online shopping has a big impact on this. But even when shopping in person, more people are using credit cards, cash cards, and phone apps to make purchases. So do you think the decrease in using cash is positive or negative? Why?

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.0

2. 预估分数

22. 3 任务完成度

从任务完成度的角度来看，这篇文章基本上回答了问题，但仍有改进的空间。首先，文章应该更具说服力地支持观点。例如，可以通过提供更多关于数字支付如何帮助人们控制支出的例子或数据。此外，在语言方面也需要加强。有些句子表达不清楚，语法错误也较多。

改进建议示例：

1. To elucidate, using the application to see our recipes, we can remember evrey payment and intentionally reduce the same stuff and save our money. 改为：To elucidate, using digital payment applications allows us to track our expenses easily, enabling us to make more informed decisions about our spending habits.

2. By changing of money, I started to use phone to pay and buy things so I can clearly see the every payment from application. 改为：By switching from cash to digital payments, I can now easily monitor my spending through the mobile app, which helps me manage my finances better.

4. 文章结构与组织

从文章结构和组织的角度来看，这篇文章需要进行一定的调整。首先，文章缺少一个明确的引言部分来引导读者了解讨论主题。其次，在正文部分中，应该更清晰地分段讨论不同的观点和支持细节。最后，文章需要一个结论部分来总结观点和讨论。

改进建议示例：

1. 在文章开头添加引言部分：In recent years, there has been a significant decrease in the use of cash money as more people are opting for digital payment methods such as credit cards and mobile apps. In this essay, I will discuss why I believe this trend is positive.

2. 添加一个结论部分：In conclusion, the decrease in using cash is a positive trend due to the convenience it offers and the ability to better track and manage our expenses. Embracing digital payment methods can lead to more responsible spending habits and improved financial management.

5. 语法批改

From my perspective, I think it is a positive trend. A compelling reason buttressing my viewpoint is that it makes us can see our expenses clearly, and we can control our money. Then, we can save our money from everyday expenses. To elucidate, using the application to see our recipes, we can remember evreyevery(misspelling) payment and intentionally reduce the same stuff and save our money. For instance, I used to buy a lot of same things and forgot it so that I wasted aan(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') amount of money. By changing of money, I started to use phone to pay and buy things so, so(comma between independent clauses) I can clearly see the every payment from application. As a result, I saved my from everyday expenses. So

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In my opinion, the decrease in cash usage is a positive development. A strong argument supporting this view is that it allows for better financial management and control. This, in turn, can lead to more effective saving strategies for daily expenses. To illustrate, utilizing digital payment methods and applications enables us to track every transaction and consciously reduce unnecessary purchases, ultimately saving money. For example, I used to buy multiple similar items and forget about them, resulting in wasted funds. By transitioning to digital payments through my phone, I can now clearly monitor each transaction within the app. Consequently, this has led to more efficient management of my everyday expenses. (115 words)

From In my perspective, I think it opinion, the decrease in cash usage (rephrased for clarity) is a positive trend. development. A compelling reason buttressing my viewpoint strong argument (changed to a more natural expression) supporting this view is that it makes allows for better financial management and control (rephrased for clarity). This, in turn, can lead to more effective saving strategies for daily expenses (rephrased for clarity). To illustrate, utilizing digital payment methods and applications (rephrased for clarity) enables us can see our expenses clearly, to track every transaction and we can control our money. Then, we can save our consciously reduce unnecessary purchases, ultimately saving money from everyday expenses. To elucidate, using the application to see our recipes, we can remember evrey payment and intentionally reduce the same stuff and save our money. (rephrased for clarity). For instance, example, I used to buy a lot of same things multiple similar items and forgot it so that I forget about them, resulting in wasted a amount of money. funds (rephrased for clarity). By changing of money, I started transitioning to use digital payments through my phone to pay and buy things so (rephrased for clarity), I can now clearly see monitor each transaction within the every payment from application. As a result, I saved app (rephrased for clarity). Consequently, this has led to more efficient management of my from everyday expenses. Soexpenses (rephrased for clarity).

8 思维导图

graph LR
A[减少现金使用] --> B[更好的财务管理]
B --> C[有效的节省策略]
C --> D[数字支付方法]
D --> E[跟踪每笔交易]
E --> F[减少不必要的购买]
F --> G[节省金钱]
G --> H[提高日常开支管理效率]

9 关键词

Section Title: 6 文章修改

在我看来，现金使用的减少是一个积极的发展。支持这一观点的有力论据是，它有助于更好地进行财务管理和控制。这反过来又可以为日常开支带来更有效的节省策略。举例来说，利用数字支付方法和应用程序使我们能够跟踪每笔交易，并有意识地减少不必要的购买，从而节省金钱。例如，我过去常常购买多个相似的物品而忘记它们，导致资金浪费。通过将支付方式转换为手机上的数字支付，我现在可以在应用程序中清晰地监控每笔交易。因此，这使得我能够更高效地管理日常开支。