TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Starting this week, we will discusshow public transportation is funded. Public transportation gives peop le from all social groups access to their homes, workplaces, and shopp ing. Some argue that public transportation should be supported by tax revenue so that all people could have free access to it. What do you think?Sh ould public transportation be free to all? Why or why not?

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 3.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 2.5

2. 预估分数

• Estimated Score: 20

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面有待提高。首先，文章没有充分利用阅读材料中的观点和信息。例如，作者只是简单地提到了Kelly和Paul的观点，而没有详细解释他们的论据。其次，文章的论证过程不够清晰和有力。建议在撰写文章时更加关注任务要求，并尝试更全面地讨论问题。

改进建议示例：

1. 在引入Kelly和Paul的观点时，可以详细描述他们的论据，并在自己的观点中加以讨论。例如：“正如Kelly所说，增加税收可能会给那些需要资金用于其他生活必需品的家庭带来负担。”
2. 在表达自己的观点时，可以提供更多具体的例子和细节来支持论述。例如：“另一方面，免费公共交通可能会导致公共交通系统过于拥挤，从而降低了乘客的出行体验。”

4. 文章结构与组织

从结构和组织角度来看，这篇文章有一定的基础，但仍有改进空间。文章的开头和结尾部分较为简单，建议在引言中更明确地陈述自己的观点，并在结论中进行总结。此外，文章的段落划分不够明确，缺乏恰当的过渡词汇。建议在撰写文章时注意段落之间的逻辑关系，并使用过渡词汇来连接不同观点。

改进建议示例：

1. 在引言部分，可以更明确地陈述自己的观点。例如：“在这篇文章中，我将讨论为什么我认为公共交通不应该完全免费。”
2. 在段落之间使用过渡词汇来连接不同观点。例如：“然而，在考虑到免费公共交通可能带来的环境和健康益处时，我们还需要权衡其他因素。”

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I prefer not to taking revenue taxes just like what Kelly suggests. Although what Paul claims hold merits that taking some taxes helps eliminate the busy traffic and does help to the environment, those reducing on traffic will cause a damagedamage(Articles: a + uncountable noun) on the economy either. When traffic on roads would take you some taxes, you would not like to go out any more like shopping or having meals on the restaurant. As a result, it slows down the economical developm entdevelopment(misspelling). Meanwhile. consideringConsidering(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) the taxes, lots of people will turn to thepublicthe public(misspelling) transportationtransportation,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which will derive a big inconvenience in daily life for those people who have never used the public transportation before. As Kelly says, it may also become a burden for some families who need money for other essentials in life. In conclusion, I think the government shouldn'sshouldn't(Contraction errors: e.g. did'nt (didn't)) take the avenue taxesof taxes(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'of' is missing in a sentence.) despite it has some benefits.

Section Title: 6 文章修订

In my perspective, I concur with Kelly's argument against implementing additional taxes to fund free public transportation. While Paul's assertion that tax-funded public transportation could alleviate traffic congestion and benefit the environment carries some weight, the potential economic drawbacks must also be considered. Imposing taxes on road usage may discourage individuals from engaging in activities such as shopping or dining out, consequently impeding economic growth. Furthermore, an influx of new public transportation users could create inconvenience for those unaccustomed to this mode of travel. As Kelly highlights, the financial strain of additional taxes may also burden families who require funds for other essential aspects of life. Thus, despite certain advantages, I believe that governments should refrain from imposing revenue taxes for public transportation. (127 words)

In my opinion, perspective [Changed "In my opinion" to "In my perspective" for a more natural tone], I prefer not to taking revenue taxes just like what Kelly suggests. Although concur with Kelly's argument against implementing additional taxes to fund free public transportation. While Paul's assertion that tax-funded public transportation could alleviate traffic congestion and benefit the environment carries some weight [Rephrased "Although what Paul claims hold merits that taking some taxes helps eliminate the busy traffic and does help to the environment, those reducing merits..." for clarity and a more natural tone], the potential economic drawbacks must also be considered. Imposing taxes on traffic will cause a damage on the economy either. When road usage may discourage individuals from engaging in activities such as shopping or dining out [Rephrased "When traffic on roads would take you some taxes, you would not like to go out any more like shopping or having meals on the restaurant. As a result, it slows down the economical developm ent. Meanwhile. considering restaurant" for clarity and conciseness], consequently impeding economic growth. Furthermore, an influx of new public transportation users could create inconvenience for those unaccustomed to this mode of travel [Rephrased "considering the taxes, lots of people will turn to thepublic the public transportation which will derive a big inconvenience in daily life for those people who have never used the public transportation before. before" for clarity and conciseness]. As Kelly says, it highlights, the financial strain of additional taxes may also become a burden for some families who need money require funds for other essentials in life. In conclusion, essential aspects of life [Clarified meaning and improved sentence structure]. Thus, despite certain advantages, I think the government shouldn's take the avenue taxes despite it has some benefits.believe that governments should refrain from imposing revenue taxes for public transportation [Clarified conclusion and improved sentence structure].

8 思维导图

- 核心论点
  - 反对额外税收资助免费公共交通

- 优点
  - 减轻交通拥堵
  - 环境效益

- 缺点
  - 抑制经济增长
    - 减少购物和就餐活动
  - 新公共交通用户带来不便
  - 家庭负担加重

- 结论
  - 政府应避免征收额外税收资助公共交通

9 关键词