TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Secondary or high school students (ages 14-18) who plan to attend university must begin thinking about what field of study they'll enter. Som students might be directed into certain fields by their parents and teachers. Others prefer to make their own choice based on their own interests and feelings. Do you believe that secondary school students should be allowed to choose their own field of study at university without being guided by parents and teachers? Why?

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.0

2. 预估分数

22. 3 任务完成度

从任务完成度的角度来看，这篇文章在回答问题方面做得还不错，但仍有一些需要改进的地方。首先，文章应更加明确地表达观点，并给出更多具体的例子和细节来支持观点。此外，在语法和用词方面也有一些错误，需要进行修改。

改进建议示例（英文）：

1. 更明确地表达观点：在引言部分，可以更清楚地说明你认为学生应该听从父母和老师的建议选择专业。

2. 提供更多具体例子和细节：在正文部分，可以给出一些实际案例或数据来证明父母和老师的建议对学生选择专业的重要性。

4. 文章结构与组织

从文章结构与组织的角度来看，这篇文章整体上符合要求，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在段落之间缺乏清晰的过渡，并且有些段落没有充分展开论述。

改进建议（简体中文）：

1. 在段落之间添加过渡句，使文章更加连贯。

2. 在正文部分，可以将观点进行更详细的论述，并给出具体的例子和细节来支持观点。

改进建议示例（英文）：

1. 添加过渡句：在第一段和第二段之间，可以添加一句过渡性的话，如：“除了父母的建议外，老师也是学生选择专业时不可或缺的参考。”

2. 更详细地展开论述：在正文部分，可以详细说明父母和老师如何根据学生的兴趣、能力和未来就业前景来给出专业建议。

5. 语法批改

The issue reagrdingregarding(misspelling) whether secondary school students should be allowed to choose their own field of study at university without being guided by parents and teachers has provoked a soaring debate. From my persepctiveperspective(misspelling), it is beneficial for students to listen to their parents or teachers to make decisions about their field of study.

Listening to parents or teachers contributes to choosing a promising major, which renders students to obtain a decent job readily in the future. Due to the proverbial reality that modern students are living livingliving(Word repetition (e.g. 'will will')) in the information era, there is hardly any doubt that they are easy to make immature decisdionsdecisions(misspelling) because they are constantly being exposed to updating news about different careers and the emergence of new industries. Thereupon, it is parents who can help students make the most rational and reasonable decision of choosing a major. Evidently, when parents help students choose their field, students are more likely to analyseanalyze(misspelling) (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))the options related to major choosing from various aspects in accordance with their parents' opinions, thereby selecting the most profound one out of several choices. What's more, exposed to parents' professional suggestions, youngsters will also be able to opt a suitable major given the fact that parents and teachers know about students' strengths and weaknesses deeply...(Use of two consecutive dots or commas)

To conclude, never should we ignore the importance of listening to parents or teachers contributes to choosing a promising major.

Title: 6 文章修订

The debate surrounding whether secondary school students should be allowed to choose their own field of study at university without guidance from parents and teachers has garnered significant attention. In my opinion, it is advantageous for students to consider the input of their parents and teachers when making decisions about their field of study.

Taking advice from parents and teachers can lead to selecting a promising major, which in turn increases the likelihood of securing a stable job in the future. Given that today's students are immersed in the information age, they may be prone to making impulsive decisions due to constant exposure to news about various careers and emerging industries. Consequently, parents can play a crucial role in helping students make rational and well-informed decisions regarding their choice of major. When students consider their parents' perspectives, they are more likely to analyze potential options from multiple angles, ultimately selecting the most suitable major among various alternatives. Furthermore, by receiving professional guidance from parents and teachers who have a deep understanding of the student's strengths and weaknesses, young individuals will be better equipped to choose an appropriate major.

In essence, it is vital not to underestimate the importance of parental and teacher input when it comes to selecting a promising major for university studies. (217 words)

The issue reagrding debate surrounding whether secondary school students should be allowed to choose their own field of study at university without being guided by guidance from parents and teachers has provoked a soaring debate. From garnered significant attention (rephrased for clarity and natural tone). In my persepctive, opinion, it is beneficial for students to listen to their parents or teachers to make advantageous for students to consider the input of their parents and teachers when making decisions about their field of study. study (corrected grammar).

Listening to parents or teachers contributes to choosing Taking advice from parents and teachers can lead to selecting a promising major, which renders students to obtain a decent in turn increases the likelihood of securing a stable job readily in the future. Due to the proverbial reality in the future (rephrased for clarity). Given that modern today's students are living living immersed in the information era, there is hardly any doubt that age (simplified phrase), they are easy to make immature decisdions because they are constantly being exposed to updating may be prone to making impulsive decisions due to constant exposure to news about different various careers and the emergence of new industries. Thereupon, it is parents who emerging industries (revised for better flow). Consequently, parents can help play a crucial role in helping students make the most rational and reasonable decision of choosing a major. Evidently, when parents help students choose their field, students well-informed decisions regarding their choice of major (rephrased for clarity). When students consider their parents' perspectives, they are more likely to analyse the analyze potential options related to major choosing from from multiple angles, ultimately selecting the most suitable major among various aspects in accordance with their parents' opinions, thereby alternatives (revised for better flow). Furthermore, by receiving professional guidance from parents and teachers who have a deep understanding of the student's strengths and weaknesses, young individuals will be better equipped to choose an appropriate major (rephrased for clarity).

In essence, it is vital not to underestimate the importance of parental and teacher input when it comes to selecting the most profound one out of several choices. What's more, exposed to parents' professional suggestions, youngsters will also be able to opt a suitable major given the fact that parents and teachers know about students' strengths and weaknesses deeply.. ¶ To conclude, never should we ignore the importance of listening to parents or teachers contributes to choosing a promising major.major for university studies (rephrased conclusion for emphasis on main point).

Title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Debate on student autonomy in choosing majors
   - Importance of considering parents and teachers' input

2. Benefits of parental and teacher guidance
   - Selecting a promising major
   - Increased likelihood of securing a stable job

3. Information age and impulsive decisions
   - Constant exposure to news about careers and industries
   - Parents' role in rational decision-making

4. Analyzing options from multiple angles
   - Considering parents' perspectives
   - Selecting the most suitable major

5. Professional guidance from parents and teachers
   - Understanding student's strengths and weaknesses
   - Choosing an appropriate major

6. Conclusion
   - Importance of parental and teacher input in selecting a promising major for university studies.

Title: 9 关键词