TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific concerns expressed in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

这篇文章基本上涵盖了阅读和听力材料中的观点，但在解释听力材料如何回应阅读材料的具体问题时，有些地方可以进一步详细说明。例如，在论述雷达系统的问题时，可以更详细地解释为什么雷达无法检测到单独飞行的鸟类。此外，在讨论声音警报系统时，可以更清楚地说明为什么周围环境噪音会影响警报系统的效果。

改进建议示例：

1. "Furthermore, radars cannot attach individual birds and may heart them." 改为 "Furthermore, radars cannot detect individual birds flying alone, making it ineffective in protecting them from the wind turbines."
2. "On the contrary, the lecture points out that there are surrounding noise in the environment, so the sound of the alarm must be loud enough and different from environment sound, which will be a noise to nearby people." 改为 "On the contrary, the lecture points out that there are surrounding noises in the environment that can interfere with the alarm system's effectiveness. To overcome this issue, the alarm must be loud and distinct from other sounds, which could disturb nearby wildlife and people."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面有待提高。虽然文章包含了引言、主体和结论，但在各段落之间的衔接和过渡方面可以更加明确。此外，文章中的某些句子表达不够清晰，需要进行修改以提高整体连贯性。

改进建议示例：

1. "The passage suggests that people can use radar devices to scan birds and turn turbine bladers down to allowed birds to fly through them safely." 改为 "The passage suggests that people can use radar devices to scan for birds and temporarily shut down the turbines, allowing the birds to fly through safely."
2. "The passage believes that white and gray color on the turbines blend into the background and attract insects, which can be solved by painting it into other colors." 改为 "The passage claims that white and gray colors on the turbines blend into the background and attract insects. By painting the turbines purple, it is believed that fewer insects will be attracted, thus reducing the number of birds near the blades."

5. 语法批改

The passage and the lecture both discuss about protectingdiscuss protecting(Collocation: consider (about)) birds from fast-moving turbine blades. The passage indicates three approach of saving birds; however, the professor argues that the passage's ideas are not convincing. The passage suggests that people can use radar devices to scan birds and turn turbine bladersblades(misspelling) down to allowed birds to fly through them safely. OneOn('One the one hand' (On the one hand)) the other hand, the professor refutes that turbines cannot shut down immediately when birds are on the horizon of radar devices. It takes more than 45 minutes to turn of turbine blades, while birds will reach it long before it is turned down. Furthermore, radars cannot attach individual birds and may hearthear(Detects potentially wrong usage of "heart" instead of "hear") them. Thus, installing radar devices may not work. The passage believes that white and gray color on the turbines blend into the background and attract insects, which can be solved by painting it into other colors. Nevertheless, the professor states that insects are attracted by hit and light of turbines instead of the color. Therefore, painting another color may not work. The passage says that people can use a sound alert to alert birds to look ahead or stop flying. On the contrary, the lecture points out that there are surrounding noise in the environment, so the sound of the alarm must be loud enough and different from environment sound, which will be a noise to nearby people.

6.文章修订

The passage and the lecture both discuss strategies for protecting birds from fast-moving turbine blades. The passage presents three approaches to safeguarding birds, while the professor contends that these ideas are unconvincing and flawed.

The passage proposes utilizing radar devices to detect birds and temporarily shut down turbines, allowing them to fly through safely. However, the professor refutes this idea by highlighting that turbines cannot be shut down immediately upon detecting birds on the horizon. It takes more than 45 minutes to turn off turbine blades, while birds will likely reach them long before they are deactivated. Furthermore, radars cannot detect individual birds flying alone, rendering this approach ineffective in protecting them from wind turbines.

The passage also asserts that painting wind turbines purple could mitigate the issue of attracting insects due to their conventional white and gray colors blending into the background. In contrast, the professor argues that insects are drawn to heat and ultraviolet light emitted by turbines rather than their color. Consequently, changing the color of wind turbines would not deter insects from approaching them, thus failing to reduce the number of birds near the blades.

Lastly, the passage suggests employing sound alarms to alert birds of nearby wind turbines, prompting them to look ahead or stop flying altogether. Contrarily, the lecture points out that environmental noise may interfere with alarm systems' effectiveness. To overcome this issue, alarms must be loud and distinct from other sounds in their surroundings; however, this could disturb nearby wildlife and people working in the area.

In summary, although both sources address strategies for protecting birds from wind turbine hazards, they differ significantly in their perspectives on these approaches' effectiveness. The lecture effectively refutes each proposed solution by presenting logical counterarguments grounded in real-world challenges faced by these systems. (298 words)

7.文章批改

The passage and the lecture both discuss about strategies for protecting birds from fast-moving turbine blades. The passage indicates blades (clarified the topic). The passage presents three approach of saving birds; however, approaches to safeguarding birds, while the professor argues that the passage's contends that these ideas are not convincing. ¶ The passage suggests that people can use unconvincing and flawed (simplified sentence structure).

The passage proposes utilizing radar devices to scan birds and turn turbine bladers detect birds and temporarily shut down to allowed birds turbines, allowing them to fly through them safely. One the other hand, safely (improved sentence structure). However, the professor refutes this idea by highlighting that turbines cannot be shut down immediately when birds are upon detecting birds on the horizon of radar devices. (clarified argument). It takes more than 45 minutes to turn of off turbine blades, while birds will likely reach it them long before it is turned down. they are deactivated (improved sentence flow). Furthermore, radars cannot attach detect individual birds and may heart them. Thus, installing radar devices may not work. ¶ The passage believes that flying alone, rendering this approach ineffective in protecting them from wind turbines (corrected grammar and clarified point).

The passage also asserts that painting wind turbines purple could mitigate the issue of attracting insects due to their conventional white and gray color on the turbines blend colors blending into the background and attract insects, which can be solved by painting it into other colors. Nevertheless, (rephrased for clarity). In contrast, the professor states argues that insects are attracted drawn to heat and ultraviolet light emitted by hit and light turbines rather than their color (simplified sentence structure). Consequently, changing the color of turbines instead wind turbines would not deter insects from approaching them, thus failing to reduce the number of the color. Therefore, painting another color may not work. ¶ The passage says that people can use a birds near the blades (improved sentence flow).

Lastly, the passage suggests employing sound alarms to alert to alert birds birds of nearby wind turbines, prompting them to look ahead or stop flying. On the contrary, flying altogether (corrected grammar). Contrarily, the lecture points out that there are surrounding environmental noise in the environment, so the sound of the may interfere with alarm systems' effectiveness (clarified argument). To overcome this issue, alarms must be loud enough and different from environment sound, which will be a noise to and distinct from other sounds in their surroundings; however, this could disturb nearby people.wildlife and people working in the area (improved sentence flow).

In summary, although both sources address strategies for protecting birds from wind turbine hazards, they differ significantly in their perspectives on these approaches' effectiveness (simplified sentence structure). The lecture effectively refutes each proposed solution by presenting logical counterarguments grounded in real-world challenges faced by these systems (clarified point and improved sentence flow).

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Protecting birds from turbine blades
  • Passage: three approaches
  • Lecture: refutes approaches

• Radar Devices

  • Passage: detect birds, shut down turbines
  • Lecture: not immediate, can't detect individual birds

• Painting Turbines Purple

  • Passage: reduce insect attraction, fewer birds near blades
  • Lecture: heat and ultraviolet light attract insects, not color

• Sound Alarms

  • Passage: alert birds, look ahead or stop flying
  • Lecture: environmental noise interference, disturbance to wildlife and people

• Summary

  • Differences in perspectives on effectiveness
  • Lecture's counterarguments

9.关键词