TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: comprehensive writing

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 3

• Organization: 3

• Coherence and Cohesion: 3

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 20

3.Task completeness The essay addresses the main points from the reading passage and lecture, but it could be improved by providing more specific details and examples from both sources. Additionally, the essay should include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and summarizes the main points of disagreement between the reading passage and lecture.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Include specific details from both the reading passage and lecture to support your points.

• Provide a clear introduction that introduces the topic and summarizes the main points of disagreement between the reading passage and lecture.

Examples:

1. "In contrast to the reading passage's claim that Argeniavis magnificens could not fly due to its long wings hitting the ground, the lecture argues that it may have taken off from a running position, utilizing its large feet for support."

2. "While the reading passage suggests that continuous flight would be difficult for such a large bird, the lecture counters this argument by explaining how eagles and other large birds can rise up into the atmosphere by catching thermals."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point of disagreement, and a conclusion. However, it could be improved by adding clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs as well as expanding on each point with more specific details from both sources.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Add clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

• Expand on each point with more specific details from both sources.

Examples:

1. "Firstly, while the reading passage states that Argeniavis magnificens' long wings would hit the ground during takeoff, making flight impossible, the lecture presents an alternative explanation."

2. "Furthermore, although the reading passage claims that the bird's large body would make continuous flight difficult, the lecture provides evidence to the contrary by discussing how other large birds, such as eagles, are able to maintain flight through catching thermals."

5. Grammar

The reading passage casts doubt on whether ArgeniavisArmenians(misspelling) magnificensmagnificent(misspelling) could fly and proposes three reasons for explaining why it could not fly. However, the lecture contradictecontradict(misspelling) it one by one.

First, the reading passage sates that its long wings would hit groundthe ground(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) if the bird taketakes(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) off from the standing position. But the lecture argues that it may take off from runninga running(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) position stretching its wings, in accordance with the birds' big feet feature.

Second, the reading proposes that the bird with such a large body would be hard to continouslycontinuously(misspelling) flying. However, the lecture contradicts that it is possiblepossible,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) since birds like eagles and other big birds all rise up to atmosohereatmosphere(misspelling) through catching thermal.

Finally, the passage says that the bird may lostlose(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) the ability to fly due to the evolution. In contrastcontrast,(Commas after conjunctive/linking adverbs in front of a new sentence.) the lecture propsingproposing(misspelling) that the bird might be a scavenger so it would have enough food and can fly cover distances.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading passage questions the ability of Argeniavis magnificens to fly and presents three reasons to support this claim. Nevertheless, the lecture refutes each point made in the reading passage.

Firstly, the reading passage asserts that the bird's long wings would touch the ground if it attempted to take off from a standing position. However, the lecture counters this argument by suggesting that Argeniavis magnificens may have taken off from a running position while extending its wings, which is consistent with the bird's large feet.

Secondly, the reading posits that a bird with such a massive body would struggle to maintain sustained flight. Contrarily, the lecture contends that continuous flight is indeed possible for large birds like eagles and others that ascend into the atmosphere by utilizing thermals.

Lastly, the passage speculates that Argeniavis magnificens may have lost its ability to fly due to evolutionary factors. In opposition to this idea, the lecture proposes that this bird could have been a scavenger; thus, it would have had ample food sources and been capable of covering significant distances through flight. (184 words)

The reading passage casts doubt on whether questions the ability of Argeniavis magnificens could to fly and proposes presents three reasons for explaining why it could not fly. However, the lecture contradicte it one by one. to support this claim (revised for clarity and conciseness). Nevertheless, the lecture refutes each point made in the reading passage (rephrased for better flow).

First, the reading passage sates that its Firstly, the reading passage asserts that the bird's long wings would hit touch the ground if the bird it attempted to take off from the a standing position. But the lecture argues that it position (corrected grammar). However, the lecture counters this argument by suggesting that Argeniavis magnificens may take have taken off from a running position stretching while extending its wings, in accordance wings (clarified meaning), which is consistent with the birds' big bird's large feet feature. (improved sentence structure).

Second, the reading proposes that the Secondly, the reading posits that a bird with such a large massive body would be hard to continously flying. However, the lecture contradicts that it struggle to maintain sustained flight (rephrased for better flow). Contrarily, the lecture contends that continuous flight is indeed possible since for large birds like eagles and other big birds all rise up to atmosohere through catching thermal. others that ascend into the atmosphere by utilizing thermals (corrected spelling and restructured sentence).

Finally, the passage says that the bird Lastly, the passage speculates that Argeniavis magnificens may have lost the its ability to fly due to the evolution. evolutionary factors (rephrased for clarity). In contrast the lecture propsing that the opposition to this idea, the lecture proposes that this bird might be a scavenger so could have been a scavenger; thus, it would have enough had ample food and can fly cover distances.sources and been capable of covering significant distances through flight (improved sentence structure and flow).

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
  - Reading passage: doubts Argeniavis magnificens' ability to fly
  - Lecture: refutes reading passage's points

- Point 1: Long wings touching the ground
  - Reading: difficult takeoff from standing position
  - Lecture: running takeoff with extended wings

- Point 2: Massive body hindering sustained flight
  - Reading: large body makes flight difficult
  - Lecture: continuous flight possible using thermals

- Point 3: Evolutionary factors causing loss of flight ability
  - Reading: may have lost ability to fly over time
  - Lecture: scavenger lifestyle, ample food sources, significant flight distances possible

9. Key Words