TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Recently, a number of large companies with many employees have needed to decide whether they should let their staff work away from the office. Some companies demand that employees work in the office. However, Bob others allow some or all employees to work from home. Do you think that large companies should require all their employees to work in the office, or should employees be allowed to work from home, at least occasionally? Why?

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

整体来说，这篇文章回答了题目的要求，提出了允许员工在家工作的观点，并给出了一些支持这个观点的理由。但是，文章可以在以下方面进行改进：

1. 更具体的例子和细节来支持观点。

2. 对于反对意见的讨论和反驳。

例如：

• 在提到员工可以根据自己的条件调整工作时间时，可以给出一个具体的例子，说明这样做如何提高工作效率。

• 可以简要讨论一下在办公室工作可能带来的优势，并解释为什么在家工作仍然是更好的选择。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构基本清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在以下方面还有改进空间：

1. 在段落中明确表达主题句，使读者更容易理解每个段落的主要观点。

2. 使用更清晰的过渡词或短语连接不同段落中的想法。

例如：

• 在第一个主体段落开头，可以使用这样的主题句：“首先，允许员工在家工作有助于提高他们的工作效率。”

• 在第二个主体段落与第一个主体段落之间，可以加入过渡词汇，如“然而”或“尽管如此”，以便更自然地连接两个观点。

5. 语法批改

As the field of company administration continues to evolve, the debate over whether should large companies require all their employees to work in the office has intensified. In my opinion, allowing work at home is not only beneficial for employees, not also advantageous for the enterprise.

To elaborate, it is crucial for workers to tailor their working schedules depends on themselves’(Unpaired braces, brackets, quotation marks and similar symbols) condition, which in turn facilitates their working efficiency. By opting their working manner, employees could gain an optimal utilization about their hours and accomplish their tasks by less time. Furthermore, under some special situations such as terrible weathers and emergency events, it is essential to prioritize employee’s security. For instance, last dead of winter, my company allowed us to stay at home for couple ofa couple of((a) bunch of) days in order to protect us formfrom(Detects potentially wrong usage of "form") heavy snow. This action not only showcase the corporation’s solicitude but also save us a lot of time wastingtime-wasting(Hyphenated words: time wasting) on the snowy road, thus significantly enhancing my sense of belonging.

Admittedly, requiring all the employees to work in the office may seem promising initially; however, it is not sustainable for company development as it lack of understanding and sympathy towards employees which address the foundation of business.

Section Title: Remote Work in Large Companies

As the field of company administration continues to evolve, the debate over whether large companies should require all their employees to work in the office has intensified. In my opinion, allowing employees to work from home is not only beneficial for them but also advantageous for the enterprise.

To elaborate, it is crucial for workers to tailor their working schedules based on their individual needs and conditions, which in turn facilitates their working efficiency. By choosing their preferred working environment, employees can optimize their time and accomplish tasks more efficiently. Furthermore, under certain circumstances such as inclement weather or emergency events, it is essential to prioritize employee safety. For instance, during a severe snowstorm last winter, my company allowed us to stay at home for a couple of days to protect us from hazardous conditions. This action not only showcased the corporation's concern for our well-being but also saved us valuable time that would have been wasted on commuting through treacherous roads, thus significantly enhancing my sense of belonging.

Admittedly, requiring all employees to work in the office may seem promising initially; however, it is not sustainable for company development as it lacks understanding and empathy towards employees which form the foundation of a successful business. (213 words)

Section Title: Remote Work in Large Companies

As the field of company administration continues to evolve, the debate over whether should large companies should require all their employees to work in the office has intensified. intensified (revised for clarity and proper word order). In my opinion, allowing employees to work at from home is not only beneficial for employees, not them but also advantageous for the enterprise. enterprise (revised for clarity and proper word usage).

To elaborate, it is crucial for workers to tailor their working schedules depends based on themselves’ condition, their individual needs and conditions (revised for clarity and proper word usage), which in turn facilitates their working efficiency. By opting their choosing their preferred working manner, employees could gain an optimal utilization about their hours environment, employees can optimize their time and accomplish their tasks by less time. more efficiently (revised for clarity and proper word usage). Furthermore, under some special situations certain circumstances such as terrible weathers and inclement weather or emergency events, it is essential to prioritize employee’s security. employee safety. For instance, during a severe snowstorm last dead of winter, my company allowed us to stay at home for a couple of days in order to protect us form heavy snow. from hazardous conditions (revised for clarity and proper word usage). This action not only showcase the corporation’s solicitude showcased the corporation's concern for our well-being but also save saved us a lot of valuable time wasting that would have been wasted on the snowy road, commuting through treacherous roads, thus significantly enhancing my sense of belonging.

Admittedly, requiring all the employees to work in the office may seem promising initially; however, it is not sustainable for company development as it lack of lacks understanding and sympathy empathy towards employees which address form the foundation of business.a successful business (revised for clarity and proper word usage).

8 思维导图

- Remote Work in Large Companies
    - Debate over office work requirement
    - Benefits for employees and enterprise
        - Tailoring working schedules
            - Individual needs and conditions
            - Facilitating working efficiency
        - Preferred working environment
            - Optimizing time and task accomplishment
        - Prioritizing employee safety
            - Inclement weather or emergency events
            - Example: snowstorm experience 
                - Company's concern for well-being 
                - Enhanced sense of belonging 
    - Requiring office work may seem promising but not sustainable 
        - Lacks understanding and empathy towards employees 
        - Foundation of a successful business 

9 关键词