TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Question: You have 20 minutes to plan and wite your response. Your response wil be judged on the basis of the quality of your writing and on how wel vour response presents the points in the lecture and their relationship to the reading passace. Typically, an effective response wil be 150 to 225 words.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 4 连贯性和衔接: 4 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章较好地完成了任务要求，对阅读材料和听力材料的观点进行了比较。但是，有一些细节可以改进。首先，在讨论听力中反驳阅读观点的部分时，应更清楚地表达出听力中提到的关键信息。此外，在总结时，可以更明确地指出听力和阅读之间的关系。

改进建议：

1. 在讨论听力材料时，请确保提到所有重要的细节，并准确传达这些信息。

2. 在总结时，请明确指出听力和阅读之间的关系。

示例：

1. "Besides, the technology such as steam engine was invented even before the factories emerged." 应改为 "In fact, early factories began to dominate production long before the famous inventions like the steam engine were even developed."

2. 在文章结尾加上一句总结： "In conclusion, the lecturer effectively refutes the three theories presented in the reading passage, suggesting that none of them can be considered as the primary reason for the shift from cottage production to factory production."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织基本合理，包括引言、主体和结论。每段都集中讨论了一个特定的观点和支持细节。然而，可以改进一些方面。首先，引言部分可以更明确地指出文章的主题和目的。其次，在讨论听力材料时，可以使用更清晰的过渡词来帮助读者理解不同观点之间的关系。

改进建议：

1. 在引言部分，请明确指出文章的主题和目的。

2. 使用更清晰的过渡词来帮助读者理解不同观点之间的关系。

示例：

1. "The passage mainly discusses the main cause of the shift from cottage production to factory production." 应改为 "The passage presents three theories for the shift from cottage production to factory production, while the lecture casts doubt on these theories."

2. 在讨论听力材料时，使用过渡词，如 "Firstly," "Secondly," 和 "Lastly," 来帮助读者理解不同观点之间的关系。

5. 语法批改

The passage mainly discusses the main cause of the shift from cottage production to factory production. However, the lecturer casts doubt on the writer's view from three different aspects.

First, it is said in the reading passage that the move to factories was driven by new technology, which is rebutedrebutted(misspelling) by the professor in the listening material that the earliest factories use the same facilities as the cottage productions and the complextcomplex(misspelling) machine runnedrunner(misspelling) by water was introduced into factories very late. Besides, the technology such as steam engine was invented even before the factories emerged. This is the first place where the speaker disagrees with the reading passage.

Second, the writer points out that factoriedfactories(misspelling) (Two consecutive spaces)rise primarily because of the growth of property rightsrights,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which lead to stronger legal protecdtionprotection(misspelling). In contrast, the speaker in the listening material refutes that if it is the truth, the factories should firstly rise in other countries like Holland, where the strength of the property is stronger and develop more legal protection, which is not the truth. This is the second place that directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates.

Finally, the reading passage states that the purpose of moving to factories is (Two consecutive spaces)to save the priductionproduction(misspelling) cost. On the contrary, the professor in the listening material contends that running a factory is as costly as cottage production. AddmitedlyAdmittedly(misspelling), the transportation cost is cut down by moving to factories, but new types of costs such as building factories and paying a supervisor to take care of it, which lead to an eventual cost possibly higher. This is the last point that entirely opposes the writer's view.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The passage primarily discusses the main cause of the shift from cottage production to factory production. However, the lecturer casts doubt on the writer's view from three different aspects.

First, it is mentioned in the reading passage that the move to factories was driven by new technology. In contrast, the professor in the listening material argues that early factories used the same equipment as cottage productions, and complex machines powered by water were introduced into factories much later. Moreover, technologies such as steam engines were invented even before factories emerged. This is the first point where the speaker disagrees with the reading passage.

Second, the writer suggests that factories rose primarily due to strengthened property rights leading to stronger legal protection. In contrast, the speaker in the listening material refutes this claim by stating that if it were true, factories should have first emerged in other countries like Holland, where property rights were stronger and more legally protected. However, this was not the case. This is another point where there is a direct contradiction between what is stated in the reading passage and what is presented in the listening material.

Lastly, according to the reading passage, one of the reasons for moving to factories was to save on production costs. On the contrary, while acknowledging that transportation costs are reduced by moving to factories, new types of expenses arise such as building and operating factories and hiring supervisors for oversight. The professor contends that these additional costs could potentially result in higher overall expenses compared to cottage production systems. This final point further opposes and undermines what has been presented in the reading passage. (277 words)

The passage mainly primarily discusses the main cause of the shift from cottage production to factory production. However, the lecturer casts doubt on the writer's view from three different aspects.

First, it is said mentioned in the reading passage that the move to factories was driven by new technology, which is rebuted by technology (revised for clarity). In contrast, the professor in the listening material that the earliest factories use argues that early factories used the same facilities equipment as the cottage productions and the complext machine runned (revised for accuracy), and complex machines powered by water was were introduced into factories very late. Besides, the technology much later (revised for better phrasing). Moreover, technologies such as steam engine was engines were invented even before the factories emerged. factories emerged (revised for clarity). This is the first place point where the speaker disagrees with the reading passage.

Second, the writer points out that factoried rise suggests that factories rose primarily because of the growth of due to strengthened property rights which lead leading to stronger legal protecdtion. protection (revised for better phrasing). In contrast, the speaker in the listening material refutes this claim by stating that if it is the truth, the were true, factories should firstly rise have first emerged in other countries like Holland, where the strength property rights were stronger and more legally protected (revised for accuracy and clarity). However, this was not the case. This is another point where there is a direct contradiction between what is stated in the reading passage and what is presented in the listening material.

Lastly, according to the reading passage, one of the property is stronger and develop more legal protection, which is not the truth. This is the second place that directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates. ¶ Finally, the reading passage states that the purpose of reasons for moving to factories is was to save the priduction cost. on production costs (revised for clarity). On the contrary, the professor in the listening material contends that running a factory is as costly as cottage production. Addmitedly, the while acknowledging that transportation cost is cut down costs are reduced by moving to factories, but factories (revised for better phrasing), new types of costs expenses arise such as building factories and paying a supervisor to take care of it, which lead to an eventual cost possibly higher. and operating factories and hiring supervisors for oversight (revised for clarity). The professor contends that these additional costs could potentially result in higher overall expenses compared to cottage production systems (revised for better phrasing). This is the last final point that entirely further opposes the writer's view.and undermines what has been presented in the reading passage.

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Shift from cottage to factory production
  - Writer's view vs. lecturer's view

- Point 1: Technology
  - Reading: New technology drove the move to factories
  - Listening: Early factories used same equipment, complex machines introduced later

- Point 2: Property Rights
  - Reading: Factories rose due to strengthened property rights and legal protection
  - Listening: Factories should have emerged in countries with stronger property rights first, but didn't

- Point 3: Production Costs
  - Reading: Moving to factories saved on production costs
  - Listening: Additional costs of building and operating factories, hiring supervisors could result in higher overall expenses

9. Keywords