TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Do you agree or disagree?Technology is making us lazy. We should stop using computers, gadgets and apps to do so many things for us, and try to be more physically and mentally active.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

• 27

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得相当不错，作者对于技术是否使我们变得懒惰的问题表达了明确的观点，并提供了一些相关的例子。然而，文章可以在以下方面进行改进：

1. 在支持观点时提供更具体和详细的例子；

2. 对于反对观点进行更深入的讨论和反驳。

英文改进建议1：在支持观点时提供更具体和详细的例子。例如，在讨论技术如何帮助人们节省时间时，可以提到具体的应用程序或工具，如日程管理软件、在线购物平台等。

英文改进建议2：对于反对观点进行更深入的讨论和反驳。例如，在讨论技术可能导致人们减少社交活动时，可以指出现代社交媒体和在线聊天工具如何帮助人们保持联系，以及如何促进新型社交活动（如线上游戏、线上学习小组等）。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。文章逻辑组织良好，每段都集中讨论一个特定的观点，并提供支持细节。然而，在以下方面可以进行改进：

1. 在段落之间加入更明确的过渡句，使文章更连贯；

2. 在正文部分中，可以使用主题句来引导每个段落的主要观点。

英文改进建议1：在段落之间加入更明确的过渡句。例如，在讨论技术如何帮助人们节省时间的段落与讨论技术可能导致人们减少社交活动的段落之间，可以加入类似这样的过渡句：“虽然技术为我们带来诸多便利，但它也可能对我们的社交生活产生负面影响。”

英文改进建议2：在正文部分中，使用主题句来引导每个段落的主要观点。例如，在讨论技术如何帮助人们节省时间的段落开头，可以写：“首先，技术通过提高工作效率为我们节省了大量时间。”

5. 语法批改

The development of technology has been growing rapidly and, and(comma between independent clauses) it has become an important part of people’s daily lives. People can access to it through electronic devices like computers and phones every day, bringing them convenience. On the other hand, it may lead to the problem of being physically and mentally inactive. This essay will argue that technology does not make us lose the spirit in doing sports and, and(comma between independent clauses) we should not stop using the electronic devices that help us accomplish things. The accessibility of technology can help people save time and bring them more free time in doing things we like. Technology allows us to finish our tasks in a faster speed. For example, students can access to information on the internet for our research instead of spending the time finding the right book in the library. Also, employees can contact their clients through emails instead of phone calling them until they pick up, allowing them to finish other works while they are waiting for the reply. Technology improves the efficiency in completing the tasks, so they can use the remaining time to do other things like sports, hang around with friends and spending the weekend with their families. Some may say that technology is increasing the amount of lazy people in the society. People tend to stay at home all the time to watch movies from the internet or order takeaway through a click. They can even shop online using the app. There is also a possibility that the frequency of going out to socialisesocialize(misspelling) with others will decrease because they can just facetimeFaceTime(Let's talk on skype (Skype)) call or text each other. Potentially, technology may lead to they may also stop using their brains to think and search everything online instead. This could impact in people’s physical and mental healthhealth,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) like obesity for not doing sports and isolation for not socialisingsocializing(misspelling) face-to-face. However, the newly developed applications and devices encourage people to be more active in their lives. Some innovative apps have the function of reminders, sending the users notifications to remind them to go out to the gym. Also, some gadgets are designed as watches so, so(comma between independent clauses) people can wear them to count the number of steps they took throughout the day. This encourages people to reach their targets and goals every day in order to stay healthy. In addition, the variety of information they are able to access to can stimulate their eagerness in finding out more about that specific topic and allow them to think about it independently. Since there is a broad scope of topics, some of the tourist spots or attractive sceneries may provide ideas for friends and families to hangoutto hang out(hangout (hang out)) during the weekends, persuading people to leave their homes and go out to see the world. In conclusion, although technology may increase people’s tendency to stay at home, it brings efficiency and free time to people’s daily lives as well as encouraging people to do sports, hangout with friends and think critically. Therefore, there is no need to stop using technology because it helps people to do many things, including being active in both our bodies and our minds.

Section Title: The Impact of Technology on Activity Levels

The rapid advancement of technology has undeniably become an integral aspect of people's daily lives. Through electronic devices such as computers and smartphones, individuals experience unprecedented convenience. However, concerns have been raised about the potential negative effects of technology on physical and mental activity levels. This essay will argue that technology does not inherently lead to a decline in physical and mental engagement, and that we should not abandon the use of electronic devices that facilitate various tasks.

One significant advantage of technology is its ability to save time, providing individuals with more opportunities to engage in activities they enjoy. Technological tools enable us to complete tasks more efficiently; for instance, students can access information online for research purposes rather than spending time searching for books in a library. Similarly, employees can communicate with clients via email instead of making phone calls, allowing them to multitask while awaiting responses. As a result, people can allocate their saved time to other pursuits such as sports, socializing with friends, or spending weekends with family.

Critics argue that technology contributes to an increase in laziness within society. They contend that people are more likely to stay home watching movies online or ordering takeout with just a click rather than venturing out into the world. Additionally, the convenience of online shopping and virtual communication may reduce face-to-face social interactions. There is also concern that reliance on technology could hinder critical thinking skills as individuals increasingly turn to search engines for answers instead of engaging their own cognitive abilities. Such behavior could negatively impact physical and mental health through issues like obesity and social isolation.

Nevertheless, numerous applications and devices have been developed specifically to promote active lifestyles. Innovative apps featuring reminder functions send notifications encouraging users to exercise or visit the gym regularly. Wearable gadgets like fitness trackers monitor daily step counts, motivating individuals to achieve their health goals consistently. Furthermore, access to diverse information sources can stimulate intellectual curiosity about various topics, fostering independent thought and critical analysis. The wealth of available information may also inspire ideas for outings with friends and family, prompting people to leave their homes and explore the world around them.

In conclusion, while technology may contribute to sedentary tendencies in some cases, it also offers numerous benefits in terms of efficiency and time management. These advantages allow individuals to engage in physical activities, socialize with others, and think critically about a wide range of subjects. Consequently, there is no need to abandon technology entirely; rather, we should recognize its potential to enhance both our physical and mental well-being. (439 words)

The development Impact of Technology on Activity Levels

The rapid advancement of technology has been growing rapidly and it has undeniably become an important part of people’s integral aspect of people's daily lives. People can access to it through Through electronic devices like such as computers and phones every day, bringing them convenience. On smartphones, individuals experience unprecedented convenience (revised for clarity). However, concerns have been raised about the other hand, it may lead to the problem of being physically and mentally inactive. potential negative effects of technology on physical and mental activity levels (revised for clarity). This essay will argue that technology does not make us lose the spirit in doing sports and inherently lead to a decline in physical and mental engagement, and that we should not stop using abandon the use of electronic devices that help facilitate various tasks (revised for clarity).

One significant advantage of technology is its ability to save time, providing individuals with more opportunities to engage in activities they enjoy (revised for clarity). Technological tools enable us accomplish things. ¶ The accessibility of technology can help people save time and bring them to complete tasks more free time in doing things we like. Technology allows us to finish our tasks in a faster speed. For example, efficiently; for instance, students can access to information on the internet for our online for research instead of purposes rather than spending the time finding the right book in the library. Also, searching for books in a library (revised for clarity). Similarly, employees can contact their communicate with clients through emails via email instead of making phone calling them until they pick up, calls, allowing them to finish multitask while awaiting responses (revised for clarity). As a result, people can allocate their saved time to other works while they pursuits such as sports, socializing with friends, or spending weekends with family.

Critics argue that technology contributes to an increase in laziness within society. They contend that people are waiting for more likely to stay home watching movies online or ordering takeout with just a click rather than venturing out into the reply. Technology improves world (revised for clarity). Additionally, the efficiency in completing the tasks, so they can use the remaining time to do other things like sports, hang around with friends and spending the weekend with their families. ¶ Some convenience of online shopping and virtual communication may say that technology is increasing the amount of lazy people in the society. People tend to stay at home all the time to watch movies from the internet or order takeaway through a click. They can even shop online using the app. reduce face-to-face social interactions (revised for clarity). There is also a possibility concern that reliance on technology could hinder critical thinking skills as individuals increasingly turn to search engines for answers instead of engaging their own cognitive abilities (revised for clarity). Such behavior could negatively impact physical and mental health through issues like obesity and social isolation.

Nevertheless, numerous applications and devices have been developed specifically to promote active lifestyles. Innovative apps featuring reminder functions send notifications encouraging users to exercise or visit the frequency of going out to socialise with others will decrease because they gym regularly (revised for clarity). Wearable gadgets like fitness trackers monitor daily step counts, motivating individuals to achieve their health goals consistently (revised for clarity). Furthermore, access to diverse information sources can just facetime call or text each other. Potentially, technology may lead to they stimulate intellectual curiosity about various topics, fostering independent thought and critical analysis (revised for clarity). The wealth of available information may also stop using their brains to think and search everything online instead. This could impact in people’s physical and mental health like obesity for not doing sports and isolation for not socialising face-to-face. ¶ However, the newly developed applications and devices encourage people to be more active in their lives. Some innovative apps have the function of reminders, sending the users notifications to remind them to go out to the gym. Also, some gadgets are designed as watches so people can wear them to count the number of steps they took throughout the day. This encourages people to reach their targets and goals every day in order to stay healthy. In addition, the variety of information they are able to access to can stimulate their eagerness in finding out more about that specific topic and allow them to think about it independently. Since there is a broad scope of topics, some of the tourist spots or attractive sceneries may provide inspire ideas for outings with friends and families to hangout during the weekends, persuading family, prompting people to leave their homes and go out to see explore the world. world around them (revised for clarity).

In conclusion, although while technology may increase people’s tendency to stay at home, contribute to sedentary tendencies in some cases, it brings also offers numerous benefits in terms of efficiency and free time to people’s daily lives as well as encouraging people to do sports, hangout with friends management (revised for clarity). These advantages allow individuals to engage in physical activities, socialize with others, and think critically. Therefore, critically about a wide range of subjects (revised for clarity). Consequently, there is no need to stop using technology because it helps people to do many things, including being active in abandon technology entirely; rather, we should recognize its potential to enhance both our bodies and our minds.physical and mental well-being (revised for clarity).

8 思维导图

- The Impact of Technology on Activity Levels
  - Introduction
    - Technology's integral role in daily life
    - Concerns about negative effects on activity levels
    - Thesis: technology does not inherently lead to decline in engagement
  - Advantages of technology
    - Time-saving benefits
      - Example: online research vs. library visits
      - Example: email communication vs. phone calls
    - More time for personal pursuits and activities
  - Criticisms of technology
    - Laziness and sedentary behavior
      - Example: watching movies online or ordering takeout at home
    - Reduced face-to-face social interactions due to online shopping and virtual communication 
    - Potential hindrance to critical thinking skills due to reliance on search engines 
  - Counterarguments and positive aspects of technology 
    - Apps and devices promoting active lifestyles 
      - Example: reminder functions for exercise or gym visits 
      - Example: fitness trackers monitoring daily step counts 
    - Access to diverse information sources fostering intellectual curiosity, independent thought, and critical analysis 
  - Conclusion 
    - Technology's benefits outweigh potential sedentary tendencies 
    - No need to abandon technology; recognize its potential for enhancing physical and mental well-being 

9 关键词