TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Question:Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific theories presented in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：3 连贯与衔接：3 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章回答了题目要求的问题，总结了听力材料中的观点，并对阅读材料中的论点进行了反驳。但是，文章在论述过程中存在一些不够准确和清晰的地方。为了提高任务完成度，建议在以下方面进行改进：

1. 在对听力材料中的观点进行总结时，尽量使用更准确、更具体的表述；

2. 在反驳阅读材料中的论点时，确保论据充分且清晰。

示例1： 原文：“According to estimate, people who invest 100 dollars into the CFLS bulbs would saving 50 dollars during its using period.” 修改后：“According to one estimate, a consumer investing $100 to switch from incandescent bulbs to CFLs can save $500 over the lifetime of the CFLs.”

示例2： 原文：“The significant amount of pollution caused by the incandescent bulbs disputes the statement presented in the passage.” 修改后：“When you add it all up, the coal required to power an incandescent bulb releases more mercury than a CFL.”

4.文章结构与组织 文章在结构和组织方面有一定的基础，包括引言、正文和结论等部分。然而，在段落划分和过渡方面仍有改进空间。为了提高文章的结构和组织，建议在以下方面进行改进：

1. 在每个段落的开头明确提出本段的主题；

2. 使用恰当的过渡词或短语，使文章在段落之间更加连贯。

示例1： 原文：“Firstly, the reading passage contends it is the CFLS that cost much more than incandescent bulb which will bring a finanical burden to consumers and companies, if they are required to purchase these.” 修改后：“Firstly, the reading passage argues that CFLs are much more expensive than incandescent bulbs, which would bring a financial burden to consumers and businesses if they were required to purchase them.”

示例2： 原文：“Secobdly, the reading passage states that mercury will be released as CFLS possess mercury and people who not used to recycling the bulbs will aggravate this pollution.” 修改后：“Secondly, the reading passage claims that CFLs pose a danger to the environment due to their mercury content and people's lack of proper recycling habits.”

5. 语法批改

The reading passage presents several obstacles contained in the CFLS bulbs promotion, while the lecture indicates respective informational errors in each of claimsthe claims(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.).

Firstly, the reading passage contends it is the CFLS that cost much more than incandescent bulb which will bring a finanicalfinancial(misspelling) burden to consumers and companies, if they are required to purchase these. The lecture disputes this claims by stating that from long term, actually the incandescent bulbs cost more than the CFLS due to it less durable period. It points out that the CFLS bulbs last 8-158–15(40-70 (40–70)) times than the incandescent bulbs do, which will significantly compensate the initiate excessive spending on this kind of bulbsthis kind of bulb(that kind of days (day)). According to estimate, people who invest 100 dollars into the CFLS bulbs would savingsave(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) 50 dollars during its using period. The less expensive characteristic of the CFLS bulbs contracts to the claims raised in the passage.

SecobdlySecondly(misspelling), the reading passage states that mercury will be released as CFLS possess mercury and people who not used to recycling the bulbs will aggravate this pollution. However, the lecture raises doubt regrading the level of mercury releasionrelation(misspelling) of CFLS bulbs, highlighting the incandescent bulbs disgorge more mercury in an indirect way than the CFLS bulbs do, as the incandescent bulbs isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") less effective, they need more electricity therefore more coal or fuel is required to complete its production, leading to more mercury and other pollutionalpollution(misspelling) materials disgorge. The significant amount of pollution caused by the incandescent bulbs disputes the statement presented in the passage.

Thirdly, the reading passage presents that the incandescent bulbs deliver a more sophisticated quality than the CFLS bulbs do, which only contain narrow ranges of color, leading them not attractive to many people. The lecture disputes this notion by claiming that with the technology develops, the problem raised in the passage has been addressed, nowadaysnowadays,(Comma after 'nowadays) the new CFLS bulbs have provideprovided(Agreement: 'have' + past/present tense) different types of bulbs which possess mix colors, making them hardly to tell from performance with the incandescent bulbs. The developing technology solved the obstacles raised in the reading.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading passage presents several obstacles contained in the promotion of CFLs bulbs, while the lecture indicates respective informational errors in each of these claims.

Firstly, the reading passage contends that CFLs cost much more than incandescent bulbs, which will bring a financial burden to consumers and companies if they are required to purchase these. The lecture disputes this claim by stating that from a long-term perspective, actually the incandescent bulbs cost more than CFLs due to their shorter durability. It points out that CFLs last 8-15 times longer than incandescent bulbs do, which will significantly compensate for the initial excessive spending on this kind of bulb. According to an estimate, people who invest $100 into CFLs would save $50 during their usage period. The less expensive characteristic of CFLs contradicts the claim raised in the passage.

Secondly, the reading passage states that mercury will be released as CFLs possess mercury and people who are not used to recycling the bulbs will aggravate this pollution. However, the lecture raises doubt regarding the level of mercury release from CFLs bulbs, highlighting that incandescent bulbs discharge more mercury indirectly than CFLs do. As incandescent bulbs are less efficient, they need more electricity; therefore, more coal or fuel is required for their production, leading to more mercury and other pollutants being released. The significant amount of pollution caused by incandescent bulbs disputes the statement presented in the passage.

Thirdly, the reading passage presents that incandescent bulbs deliver a higher quality light than CFLs do since they only contain narrow ranges of color, making them unattractive to many people. The lecture disputes this notion by claiming that with developing technology, the problem raised in the passage has been addressed. Nowadays, new CFLs provide different types of bulbs which possess mixed colors, making them difficult to distinguish from incandescent bulbs in terms of performance. The developing technology has solved the obstacles raised in the reading. (323 words)

The reading passage presents several obstacles contained in the CFLS bulbs promotion, promotion of CFLs bulbs, while the lecture indicates respective informational errors in each of these claims. (Changed "CFLS" to "CFLs" for consistency and corrected spelling)

Firstly, the reading passage contends it is the CFLS that that CFLs cost much more than incandescent bulb bulbs, which will bring a finanical financial burden to consumers and companies, companies if they are required to purchase these. The lecture disputes this claims claim by stating that from long term, a long-term perspective, actually the incandescent bulbs cost more than the CFLS CFLs due to it less durable period. their shorter durability. (Added "a" before "long-term perspective" for clarity) It points out that the CFLS bulbs CFLs last 8-15 times than the longer than incandescent bulbs do, which will significantly compensate the initiate for the initial excessive spending on this kind of bulbs. bulb. According to an estimate, people who invest 100 dollars $100 into the CFLS bulbs CFLs would saving 50 dollars save $50 during its using their usage period. The less expensive characteristic of the CFLS bulbs contracts to the claims CFLs contradicts the claim raised in the passage. (Changed "contracts" to "contradicts")

Secobdly, Secondly, the reading passage states that mercury will be released as CFLS CFLs possess mercury and people who are not used to recycling the bulbs will aggravate this pollution. However, the lecture raises doubt regrading regarding the level of mercury releasion of CFLS release from CFLs bulbs, highlighting the incandescent bulbs disgorge more mercury in an indirect way than the CFLS bulbs do, as the incandescent bulbs is that incandescent bulbs discharge more mercury indirectly than CFLs do. (Corrected spelling: "releasion" to "release", "regrading" to "regarding", and "disgorge" to "discharge") As incandescent bulbs are less effective, efficient, they need more electricity therefore electricity; therefore, more coal or fuel is required to complete its for their production, leading to more mercury and other pollutional materials disgorge. pollutants being released. The significant amount of pollution caused by the incandescent bulbs disputes the statement presented in the passage.

Thirdly, the reading passage presents that the incandescent bulbs deliver a more sophisticated higher quality than the CFLS bulbs do, which light than CFLs do since they only contain narrow ranges of color, leading making them not attractive unattractive to many people. The lecture disputes this notion by claiming that with the technology develops, developing technology, the problem raised in the passage has been addressed, nowadays the addressed. (Changed "develops" to "developing") Nowadays, new CFLS bulbs have CFLs provide different types of bulbs which possess mix mixed colors, making them hardly to tell difficult to distinguish from performance with the incandescent bulbs. incandescent bulbs in terms of performance. The developing technology has solved the obstacles raised in the reading.

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Reading passage's claims
  - Lecture's counterarguments

- Financial Burden
  - Reading: CFLs cost more than incandescent bulbs
  - Lecture: Long-term perspective, CFLs last longer and save money

- Mercury Pollution
  - Reading: CFLs contain mercury, potential pollution risk
  - Lecture: Incandescent bulbs indirectly release more mercury due to inefficiency

- Light Quality
  - Reading: Incandescent bulbs have better light quality than CFLs
  - Lecture: Developing technology improves CFLs' light quality and color range

9. Keywords