TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Question Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how the proposal discussed in the lecture would solve the specific challenges described in the reading passage

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Many scientists believe it would be possible to maintain a permanent human presence on Mars or the Moon. On the other hand, conditions on Venus are so extreme and inhospitable that maintaining a human presence there would be impossible. First, atmospheric pressure at Venus’ surface is at least 90 times greater than the pressure at Earth’s surface. This means that a force of 100 kilograms is pressing down on every square centimeter of surface. All spacecraft that have landed on Venus have been crushed by this extreme pressure within an hour of landing. Almost anything humans might land on Venus would be crushed as well. Second, as far as we know, there are no reservoirs of water on Venus’ surface, and the planet’s atmosphere, made up mostly of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and sulfuric acid, contains hardly any oxygen or water vapor. Water and oxygen would therefore probably have to be supplied to Venus from Earth. The idea of ensuring a regular supply of water and oxygen from Earth is impractical in the extreme and would probably defeat the purpose of establishing a permanent station on Venus. Third, very little sunlight reaches the planet’s surface. About 60 percent of the sunlight that hits Venus is reflected back into space by the thick clouds that fill the atmosphere, which means that only 40 percent of the sunlight can get through the clouds. Below these clouds is a dense layer of carbon dioxide, which blocks even more light, so very little light reaches the surface. The lack of light would prevent the use of solar power cells, so humans could not get electricity to power their machines and equipment.

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Question Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how the proposal discussed in the lecture would solve the specific challenges described in the reading passage

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It's possible to maintain a permanent human presence on Venus in spite of three main obstacles. Although problems sound difficult, there are actually several keys. Firstly, according to the high atmospheric pressure leading to spacecraft crushed, erecting a station 55 kilometers away from the surface of the Venus can be a proper solution. The reason is that the pressure will be similar to that on the earth once away from the surface of the planet. When it comes to the lack of reservoirs of water and oxygen, instead of transporting them from earth to Venus, human can make them out of chemical materials in the planet's atmosphere. Since the planet's atmosphere is composed mostly of carbon dioxide, nitrogen and sulfuric acid, it's practical to try to produce water and oxygen on the Venus. Third, the clouds filling the atmosphere of Venus are not that thick and human can totally utilize sunlight for electricity from direct and reflect solar resource.

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1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 4 Organization: 3 Coherence and Cohesion: 3 Language Use: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章回答了题目要求的问题，但在某些方面还有待改进。首先，在论述每个解决方案时，可以更详细地解释这些方案如何克服阅读材料中提到的具体挑战。其次，尽量避免使用过于简单或重复的词汇和表达。

示例1：原文：It's possible to maintain a permanent human presence on Venus in spite of three main obstacles. 修改：Despite the three major challenges mentioned in the reading passage, it is feasible to establish a permanent human presence on Venus.

示例2：原文：Since the planet's atmosphere is composed mostly of carbon dioxide, nitrogen and sulfuric acid, it's practical to try to produce water and oxygen on the Venus. 修改：Given that Venus' atmosphere primarily consists of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and sulfuric acid, it is viable to produce water and oxygen using these compounds through chemical processes.

4.文章结构与组织文章的结构和组织方面需要改进。首先，应该有一个明确的引言部分来概括阅读和听力材料的主要观点。其次，在正文部分中讨论每个解决方案时，可以使用更清晰的段落结构，并在段落之间使用恰当的过渡词。最后，需要一个总结性的结论部分来概括文章的主要观点。

示例1：原文：It's possible to maintain a permanent human presence on Venus in spite of three main obstacles. 修改：The lecture proposes a feasible solution to establish a permanent human presence on Venus, addressing the three major challenges mentioned in the reading passage.

示例2：原文：Firstly, according to the high atmospheric pressure leading to spacecraft crushed, erecting a station 55 kilometers away from the surface of the Venus can be a proper solution. 修改：Firstly, to overcome the issue of high atmospheric pressure that causes spacecraft to be crushed, the lecture suggests constructing a station 50 kilometers above Venus' surface where the pressure is similar to that on Earth.

5. 语法批改

It's possible to maintain a permanent human presence on Venus in spite of three main obstacles. Although problems sound difficult, there are actually several keys. Firstly, according to the high atmospheric pressure leading to spacecraft crushed, erecting a station 55 kilometers away from the surface of the Venus can be a proper solution. The reason is that the pressure will be similar to that on the earth once away from the surface of the planet. When it comes to the lack of reservoirs of water and oxygen, instead of transporting them from earth to Venus, human can make them out of chemical materials in the planet's atmosphere. Since the planet's atmosphere is composed mostly of carbon dioxide, nitrogen and sulfuric acid, it's practical to try to produce water and oxygen on the Venus. Third, the clouds ~~filling the atmosphere of~~filling the atmosphere with(Collocation: fill of/with) Venus are not that thick and human can totally utilize sunlight for electricity from direct and reflect solar resource.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The possibility of maintaining a permanent human presence on Venus can be achieved by overcoming three main challenges. The first challenge is the high atmospheric pressure that crushes spacecraft upon landing. A solution to this issue is to establish a floating station approximately 50 kilometers above Venus' surface, where the pressure is similar to that on Earth, eliminating the risk of being crushed.

The second challenge involves the scarcity of water and oxygen on Venus. Instead of transporting these resources from Earth, humans can produce them using chemical materials found in the planet's atmosphere. As Venus' atmosphere consists primarily of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and sulfuric acid, it is feasible to generate water and oxygen through chemical processes using these compounds.

Lastly, the limited sunlight reaching Venus' surface due to thick clouds poses a challenge for generating electricity. However, at 50 kilometers above the surface, clouds are less dense, allowing a considerable amount of sunlight to filter through. Additionally, solar power cells on the floating station could harness both direct sunlight from above and reflected sunlight from below the clouds. This dual-source approach would provide sufficient electricity to power the station and support human life on Venus. (199 words)

~~It's possible to maintain~~ Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改

The possibility of maintaining a permanent human presence on Venus ~~in spite of~~ can be achieved by overcoming three main ~~obstacles. Although problems sound difficult, there are actually several keys. Firstly, according to~~ challenges (clarified the meaning). The first challenge is the high atmospheric pressure ~~leading to~~ that crushes spacecraft ~~crushed, erecting a~~ upon landing (rephrased for clarity). A solution to this issue is to establish a floating station 55 approximately 50 kilometers ~~away~~ above Venus' surface, where the pressure is similar to that on Earth, eliminating the risk of being crushed (rephrased for clarity and conciseness).

The second challenge involves the scarcity of water and oxygen on Venus (rephrased for clarity). Instead of transporting these resources from ~~the surface of the Venus~~ Earth, humans can be a proper solution. The reason is that the pressure will be similar to that on the earth once away from the surface of the planet. When it comes to the lack of reservoirs of water and oxygen, instead of transporting produce them ~~from earth to Venus, human can make them out of~~ using chemical materials found in ~~the planet's atmosphere. Since~~ the planet's atmosphere ~~is composed mostly~~ (rephrased for clarity). As Venus' atmosphere consists primarily of carbon dioxide, ~~nitrogen~~ nitrogen, and sulfuric acid, ~~it's practical to try to produce~~ it is feasible to generate water and oxygen ~~on the Venus. Third, the~~ through chemical processes using these compounds (rephrased for clarity).

Lastly, the limited sunlight reaching Venus' surface due to thick clouds ~~filling the atmosphere of~~ poses a challenge for generating electricity (rephrased for clarity). However, at 50 kilometers above the surface, clouds are less dense, allowing a considerable amount of sunlight to filter through (rephrased for clarity). Additionally, solar power cells on the floating station could harness both direct sunlight from above and reflected sunlight from below the clouds (rephrased for clarity). This dual-source approach would provide sufficient electricity to power the station and support human life on Venus ~~are not that thick and human can totally utilize sunlight for electricity from direct and reflect solar resource.~~(rephrased for conciseness).

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Permanent human presence on Venus
  - Overcoming challenges

- Challenge 1: High atmospheric pressure
  - Solution: Floating station at 50 km altitude

- Challenge 2: Scarcity of water and oxygen
  - Solution: Chemical processes using Venus' atmosphere compounds
    - Carbon dioxide, nitrogen, sulfuric acid

- Challenge 3: Limited sunlight for electricity generation
  - Solution: Solar power cells on floating station
    - Direct sunlight from above clouds
    - Reflected sunlight from below clouds

- Conclusion

9. Keywords

Word	Phonetic Symbol	Part of Speech	English Definition	Simplified Chinese Translation	Sample Sentence
permanent	/ˈpɜːrmənənt/	adjective	Lasting or intended to last or remain unchanged indefinitely	永久的	A permanent human presence on Venus would require overcoming several challenges.
atmospheric	/ætməˈsfɪrɪk/	adjective	Relating to the atmosphere	大气的	The high atmospheric pressure on Venus is a challenge for spacecraft landing.
floating	/ˈfloʊtɪŋ/	adjective	/Resting or moving on the surface of a liquid without sinking	/浮动的	/A floating station above Venus' surface could provide a solution to the high atmospheric pressure.
scarcity	/ˈsker.sə.t̬i/	/noun	/A situation in which something is not easy to find or get	/稀缺	/The scarcity of water and oxygen on Venus is a challenge for human habitation.
chemical	/ˈkem.ɪ.kəl/	/adjective	/Relating to chemistry, or the interactions of substances as studied in chemistry	/化学的	/Chemical processes can be used to generate water and oxygen from Venus' atmosphere compounds.
compound	/ˈkɑːm.paʊnd/	/noun	/A thing that is composed of two or more separate elements; a mixture	/化合物	/Carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and sulfuric acid are compounds found in Venus' atmosphere.
electricity	/ɪlekˈtrɪsəti/	noun	A form of energy resulting from the existence of charged particles (such as electrons or protons)	电	Limited sunlight on Venus' surface poses a challenge for generating electricity.
solar power cells	/ˈsoʊlər paʊər sels/	noun	Devices that convert sunlight into electricity	太阳能电池	Solar power cells on the floating station could harness both direct and reflected sunlight for energy.
dual-source	/duːəl ˈsɔrs/	adjective	Involving two sources	双源	The dual-source approach would provide sufficient electricity to support human life on Venus.
feasibility	/ˌfiːzəˈbɪləti/	noun	The state or degree of being easily or conveniently done	可行性	The feasibility of human presence on Venus depends on overcoming these challenges.

Section Title: 6. Article Revision

The possibility of maintaining a permanent human presence on Venus can be achieved by overcoming three main challenges. The first challenge is the high atmospheric pressure that crushes spacecraft upon landing. A solution to this issue is to establish a floating station approximately 50 kilometers above Venus' surface, where the pressure is similar to that on Earth, eliminating the risk of being crushed.

The second challenge involves the scarcity of water and oxygen on Venus. Instead of transporting these resources from Earth, humans can produce them using chemical materials found in the planet's atmosphere. As Venus' atmosphere consists primarily of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and sulfuric acid, it is feasible to generate water and oxygen through chemical processes using these compounds.

Lastly, the limited sunlight reaching Venus' surface due to thick clouds poses a challenge for generating electricity. However, at 50 kilometers above the surface, clouds are less dense, allowing a considerable amount of sunlight to filter through. Additionally, solar power cells on the floating station could harness both direct sunlight from above and reflected sunlight from below the clouds. This dual-source approach would provide sufficient electricity to power the station and support human life on Venus.