TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Madagascar, a large island about 400 kilometers off the coast of Africa,is home to many mammals that exist nowhere else on Earth Genetic evidence shows that the ancestors of these mammals arrived there from the African mainland between 60 million and 20 million years ago. According to a popular theory, the ancestor species crossed the 400 kilometers by riding debris like logs or branches floating on the ocean. However, there are serious problems with that theory. First, land mammals normally cross the sea only by accident. For example, a few animals might be swept into the water by a big storm and then somehow stay afloat on logs or plants. That does not happen frequently. In addition, in order to reproduce and establish a population in the new location, several individuals of the same species would have to make the crossing together-an even rarer accident. It seems implausible难以置信的 that such accidental events could happen often enough to give rise to the large and diverse mammalian fauna of Madagascar. Second, the sea currents near the mainland African coast where the mammals supposedly came from do not flow toward Madagascar. Even if some animals were thrown into the water by storms and were able to float on debris, the currents would carry them away from Madagascar. Third, a 400-kilometer journey would have taken too long for animals to survive. Scientists estimate that the trip takes three weeks. It is impossible to float over the ocean for that long without any sources of food or freshwater. The animals that were washed out to sea would have died of hunger or thirst before reaching the new location.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度：4

• 组织：3

• 连贯性和衔接：3

• 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章回答了题目的要求，但是在表达观点时有些地方不够清晰。建议在描述阅读和听力材料的观点时更加明确，并确保正确理解听力材料的内容。此外，在对比阅读和听力材料的观点时，需要更加详细地说明它们之间的关系。

示例1： 原文：“In contrast, the author maintains that only four species cross the sea while the time passes almost forty millions years.” 改进：“In contrast, the speaker maintains that only four species crossed the sea over a period of almost forty million years.”

示例2： 原文：“This is because currents not flowing towards Madagascar was the situation sixty years ago and the flows was totally different than they do at the present location.” 改进：“This is because the currents not flowing towards Madagascar were a situation that occurred sixty million years ago, and they were totally different from what they are at present.”

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构需要改进。建议在开头部分简要介绍阅读和听力材料的主要观点，然后在正文部分详细对比这两个观点。每段落应该集中讨论一个具体的论点，并提供支持细节。同时，需要在段落之间使用清晰的过渡词或短语来增强连贯性。

示例1： 原文：“In the reading, the author argues that there exists several problems with the popular theory that ancestors of some mammals depend on logs or branches traveling across the ocean. However, the speaker believes that the story of the popular theory is not convincing.” 改进：“The reading passage presents several problems with the popular theory that ancestors of some mammals traveled across the ocean on logs or branches. In contrast, the listening passage provides counterarguments to these problems, supporting the idea that such a journey was possible.”

示例2： 原文：“First, the author argues...” 改进：“Firstly, while the author argues...”

5. 语法批改

In the reading, the author argues that there exists several problems with the popular theory that ancestors of some mammals depend on logs or branches traveling across the ocean. However, the speaker believes that the story of the popular theory is not convincing.

First, the author argues that the things that mammals cross the ocean only could happen accidentally, and the same species of the mammal travels together across the ocean which make it even rarer. In contrast, the author maintains that only four species cross the sea while the time passes almost forty millions years. This is such a long time that four species crossing the ocean seems not like an impossible event. So it could happen.

Secondly, in the reading passage, the author states that the sea currents of the ocean does not flow towards Madagascar. Nevertheless, the speakto speak(a infinitive) thinks that the currents could have brought the animals to the island at that time. This is because currents not flowing towards Madagascar was the situation sixty years ago and the flows was totally different than they do at the present location.

Finally, the speakto speak(a infinitive) argues that the long journey will allow these mammals survive. This is because animals can slow down their metabolism through a method called torpor, which has a low level of metabolism. In this way, they could survive for the three-week trip without drinking and eating. This is contradicted to what is said in the reading that the three-week longthree-week-long(Missing hyphens in compounds) journey will kill these mammals with not having food and freshwater.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

In the reading passage, the author presents several issues with the popular theory that ancestors of certain mammals relied on floating debris, such as logs or branches, to travel across the ocean to Madagascar. However, the speaker in the listening passage refutes these concerns and maintains that this theory is plausible.

Firstly, the author contends that mammals crossing the ocean would only occur accidentally and that multiple individuals of the same species making this journey together would be even rarer. Contrarily, the speaker asserts that only four species made this crossing over a period of nearly forty million years. Given such an extensive time frame, it does not seem implausible for these few instances of oceanic migration to have occurred.

Secondly, the reading passage states that sea currents near Africa's mainland coast do not flow towards Madagascar, making it unlikely for animals to reach the island. However, the speaker counters this by explaining that ocean currents were significantly different sixty million years ago compared to their present-day patterns. Consequently, it is possible that these ancient currents could have carried animals towards Madagascar.

Lastly, the speaker challenges the author's claim that a 400-kilometer journey would be too long for animals to survive without food or freshwater sources. The speaker explains that animals can enter a state called torpor which significantly slows down their metabolism and allows them to survive extended periods without sustenance. This physiological adaptation contradicts the reading's assertion that a three-week journey would inevitably lead to starvation or dehydration for these mammals. (256 words)

In the reading, reading passage, the author argues that there exists presents several problems issues with the popular theory that ancestors of some certain mammals depend relied on floating debris, such as logs or branches traveling branches, to travel across the ocean. ocean to Madagascar (Changed "there exists" to "presents" for clarity and natural tone). However, the speaker believes that the in the listening passage refutes these concerns and maintains that this theory is plausible (Changed "the story of the popular theory is not convincing. convincing" to "this theory is plausible" for a clearer and more concise statement).

First, Firstly, the author argues that the things contends that mammals cross crossing the ocean would only could happen accidentally, and occur accidentally and that multiple individuals of the same species of the mammal travels making this journey together across the ocean which make it would be even rarer. In contrast, the author maintains rarer (Rephrased for clarity and natural tone). Contrarily, the speaker asserts that only four species cross the sea while the made this crossing over a period of nearly forty million years. Given such an extensive time passes almost forty millions years. This is such a long time that four species crossing the ocean seems frame, it does not like an impossible event. So it could happen. seem implausible for these few instances of oceanic migration to have occurred (Revised for clarity and natural tone).

Secondly, in the reading passage, the author passage states that the sea currents of the ocean does near Africa's mainland coast do not flow towards Madagascar. Nevertheless, the speak thinks that the Madagascar, making it unlikely for animals to reach the island (Rephrased for clarity). However, the speaker counters this by explaining that ocean currents could have brought the animals to the island at that time. This is because currents not flowing towards Madagascar was the situation were significantly different sixty million years ago and the compared to their present-day patterns (Changed "the flows was totally different than they do at the present location. location" to "ocean currents were significantly different sixty million years ago compared to their present-day patterns" for clarity and natural tone). Consequently, it is possible that these ancient currents could have carried animals towards Madagascar.

Finally, the speak argues that the Lastly, the speaker challenges the author's claim that a 400-kilometer journey would be too long journey will allow these mammals survive. This is because for animals to survive without food or freshwater sources (Rephrased for clarity). The speaker explains that animals can slow enter a state called torpor which significantly slows down their metabolism through a method called torpor, which has a low level of metabolism. In this way, they could and allows them to survive for the extended periods without sustenance (Changed "method" to "state" and rephrased for clarity and natural tone). This physiological adaptation contradicts the reading's assertion that a three-week trip without drinking and eating. This is contradicted to what is said in the reading that the three-week long journey will kill would inevitably lead to starvation or dehydration for these mammals with not having food and freshwater.(Revised for clarity and natural tone).

8. Mind Map

- Essay Structure
    - Introduction
        - Reading passage issues
        - Listening passage refutations
    - Point 1: Accidental ocean crossing rarity
        - Reading: Unlikely for multiple individuals to cross together
        - Listening: Only four species crossed over 40 million years
    - Point 2: Sea currents not flowing towards Madagascar
        - Reading: Currents do not support animal migration to the island
        - Listening: Ocean currents were different 60 million years ago
    - Point 3: Survival during a long journey without food or water
        - Reading: Animals would starve or dehydrate during a three-week journey
        - Listening: Animals can enter torpor to survive extended periods without sustenance

9. Keywords