TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: What is the most environmentally friendly thing a common person can do?

1. Sub Scores:

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. Estimated Scores:

Estimated Score: 27

3. Task completeness:

The essay addresses the specific requirements of the task by discussing the most environmentally friendly thing a common person can do. The writer provides a clear viewpoint, which is recycling, and compares it to the other two students' perspectives. However, there could be more elaboration on why recycling is more environmentally friendly than the other options.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more concrete examples or statistics to support your argument about recycling being the most environmentally friendly option.

• Explain how recycling can have a broader impact on the environment compared to other methods.

Examples:

1. "Recycling can save energy and reduce greenhouse gas emissions, as producing new products from recycled materials requires less energy than producing them from raw materials."
2. "According to a study by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), recycling one ton of paper can save 17 trees, 7,000 gallons of water, and 3 cubic yards of landfill space."

4. Essay structure and organization:

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing each student's perspective, and a conclusion summarizing the main argument. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and transitions between ideas.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Improve transitions between ideas by using phrases like "on the other hand," "in contrast," or "moreover."

• Organize your body paragraphs by first discussing each student's perspective separately before comparing them with your own viewpoint.

Examples:

1. "On the other hand, Student B suggests planting more trees as an environmentally friendly action. While this approach has its merits, it may not be as practical or convenient for individuals compared to recycling."
2. "In contrast to the other students' suggestions, I believe that recycling is the most environmentally friendly thing a common person can do because it is practical, convenient, and has a broader impact on the environment."

5. Grammar

The most efficient way for a common person to conduct environmental protection is recycling, contributing to both environmental protection and reducing wastefulness.

Firstly, there are some solidaritiessimilarities(misspelling) of arguments provided by students A and B. To some extent, these two approaches are environmentally friendly but are not the most environmentally friendly. This is because preventing from purchasing unfriendly products, to some extent, is impractical. For example, numerous household applications are not environmentally friendly, like the detergent full of chemical substances which are often utilized for cleaning kitchens and clothes. The wastewater from households is often considered to be one of the major pollution resources. However, most common people cannot avoid buying it. However, the recycling approach is more practical. For example, people can reuse textile bags instead of plastic bags when going shopping. Individuals even could redesign their old clothes to a new style and prevent more living waste from pouring into the environment. See, more practical.

Secondly, compared to planting trees, recycling of living materials would be more convenient for individuals to conduct environmentally friendly. Well, people have to spend money buying trees and find a place to plant it them. I bet plenty of individuals are not willing to do that, leading to lower achievements because of its inconvenience. Plus, compared with the government’s preservation efforts for planting trees, individual efforts are limited. However, recycling is much easier to conduct without spending too much money. For example, in people’s daily basis, shower water could be preserved and stored for other purposes, like mopping the floor, watering flowers, and flashing the toilets, saving tons of water if carried out by every individual. See, much more convenient for individuals to follow up on it. So, in light of what I have mentioned, recycling in people’s daily basis is the most environmentally friendly thing they can do, compared to the other two students’ perspectives.

Display title: 6 Revised Essay

The most effective method for an ordinary individual to engage in environmental conservation is through recycling, which not only supports environmental protection but also reduces waste.

Firstly, while the suggestions offered by students A and B have merit, they may not be the most environmentally friendly options. Avoiding the purchase of eco-unfriendly products can be challenging, as many household items contain harmful substances. For instance, numerous cleaning agents are laden with chemicals that contribute to pollution when released into wastewater systems. Although it is difficult for the average person to avoid purchasing such products entirely, recycling presents a more feasible alternative. By reusing items like cloth bags instead of disposable plastic ones or repurposing old clothing into new styles, individuals can minimize their environmental impact in a practical manner.

Secondly, recycling is generally more convenient than planting trees as a means of promoting eco-friendliness. Planting trees requires both financial investment and suitable space – factors that may deter many people from participating in this activity. Furthermore, compared to government-led tree-planting initiatives, individual efforts are relatively limited in scope. In contrast, recycling can be easily integrated into daily routines without significant expense or inconvenience. For example, repurposing shower water for tasks such as mopping floors or watering plants conserves valuable resources and demonstrates how simple it can be for individuals to adopt eco-friendly practices.

In view of these considerations, it becomes evident that recycling is the most environmentally friendly action that an ordinary person can undertake when compared to the alternatives proposed by students A and B. By incorporating sustainable habits into their daily lives and making conscious choices about resource consumption and waste reduction, individuals can play a vital role in preserving our planet for future generations. (292 words)

The most efficient way for a common person to conduct effective method for an ordinary individual to engage in environmental conservation is through recycling, which not only supports environmental protection is recycling, contributing to both environmental protection and reducing wastefulness. but also reduces waste (changed "efficient" to "effective" and "common person" to "ordinary individual" for more natural language).

Firstly, there are some solidarities of arguments provided while the suggestions offered by students A and B. To some extent, these two approaches are B have merit (rephrased for clarity), they may not be the most environmentally friendly but options. Avoiding the purchase of eco-unfriendly products can be challenging, as many household items contain harmful substances. For instance, numerous cleaning agents are not the most environmentally friendly. This laden with chemicals that contribute to pollution when released into wastewater systems. Although it is because preventing from difficult for the average person to avoid purchasing unfriendly products, to some extent, is impractical. For example, numerous household applications are not environmentally friendly, such products entirely, recycling presents a more feasible alternative (rephrased for smoother sentence flow). By reusing items like the detergent full of chemical substances which are often utilized for cleaning kitchens and clothes. The wastewater from households is often considered to be one of the major pollution resources. However, most common people cannot avoid buying it. However, the recycling approach is more practical. For example, people can reuse textile cloth bags instead of disposable plastic bags when going shopping. Individuals even could redesign ones or repurposing old clothing into new styles, individuals can minimize their old clothes to environmental impact in a new style and prevent more living waste from pouring into the environment. See, more practical. practical manner (clarified the point).

Secondly, compared to planting trees, recycling of living materials would be is generally more convenient for individuals to conduct environmentally friendly. Well, than planting trees as a means of promoting eco-friendliness (simplified phrasing). Planting trees requires both financial investment and suitable space – factors that may deter many people have to spend money buying trees and find a place to plant it them. I bet plenty of individuals are not willing to do that, leading to lower achievements because of its inconvenience. Plus, from participating in this activity. Furthermore, compared with the government’s preservation efforts for planting trees, to government-led tree-planting initiatives, individual efforts are limited. However, relatively limited in scope (rephrased for clarity). In contrast, recycling is much easier to conduct can be easily integrated into daily routines without spending too much money. significant expense or inconvenience (simplified phrasing). For example, in people’s daily basis, repurposing shower water could for tasks such as mopping floors or watering plants conserves valuable resources and demonstrates how simple it can be preserved and stored for other purposes, like mopping the floor, watering flowers, and flashing the toilets, saving tons for individuals to adopt eco-friendly practices (rephrased for smoother sentence flow).

In view of water if carried out by every individual. See, much more convenient for individuals to follow up on it. ¶ So, in light of what I have mentioned, these considerations (simplified phrasing), it becomes evident that recycling in people’s daily basis is the most environmentally friendly thing they can do, action that an ordinary person can undertake when compared to the other two students’ perspectives.alternatives proposed by students A and B. By incorporating sustainable habits into their daily lives and making conscious choices about resource consumption and waste reduction, individuals can play a vital role in preserving our planet for future generations (rephrased for clarity and natural language).

8 Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Environmental conservation
   • Recycling as an effective method

2. Comparison with Student A's suggestion

   • Challenges in avoiding eco-unfriendly products
   • Example: harmful chemicals in cleaning agents

3. Recycling as a practical alternative

   • Reusing items (e.g., cloth bags)
   • Repurposing old clothing

4. Comparison with Student B's suggestion

   • Inconvenience of planting trees (financial investment, space)

5. Recycling as a convenient option

   • Easy integration into daily routines
   • Example: repurposing shower water for other tasks

6. Conclusion

   • Recycling as the most environmentally friendly action for ordinary individuals

9 Key Words